kristal
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Posts posted by kristal
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yea you can use it. could you just give me credit? thanks!
and may i get one of those newsletters too? -
honestly, i think the most important fact in open adoption that no one on either side should forget that by choosing open adoption you are willing to share your baby with the people who wanted to make the best decision for the baby. and by sharing i dont mean they get the baby on weekends or every other holiday, just that this isn't only your baby, that there is a whole other family that loves that baby just as much as you do but had to make a painful decision, once you get a child imagine knowing that you couldn't take care of it and had to entrust someone else with your baby. how much you'd want to know is probably a starting point for how much the BP in your adoption will want to know. Now sometimes, the BP find contact too hard, but that doesn't mean they dont care for that baby just as much. With open adoption you might have to see the BPs and watch them hold your child and kiss and hug your child and tell your child how much they love it. and if thats not all alright with you then a fully open adoption is probably not your best bet.
the way i see it (i placed my son Colby his AMs name is Angie) When Angie talks about Colby he is her baby, when i talk about Colby he is my baby, but both of us always know that he is OUR baby.
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thank you. he looks so different in person though, like in the pictures he looks like his dad but in person he looks just like me. i know when angie cut his hair and i saw the pictures i was like "oh no!! i hate it" but like a week later when i visted him it was so so cute.
Adoption Risks
in Looking to Adopt
Posted
WOAH!!! what are you thinking? seriously. WTF?
okay, i'm a birthmom and if i had decided not to place, and was responisible for the money my AF used to provide for me, i would have been trying to parent with NO money and a huge debt. and that would have made parenting even harder, so to not have to pay this money i would have had to place my child. I placed my son because i love him. Got that? because i love him not to avoid having to reimburse the hollmans. putting something like that in place would result in all sorts of placements to avoid repaying the money and thats not right. adoption isnt just about you wanting/getting a baby, to think it is is selfish. would placing a huge debt on the would have been placing birthmoms be in the best intrest of the child? No. most birthmoms dont have much money, which is why they need financal help in the first place. besides that counds like you want to BUY a baby. if you pay for something and you dont get it you want a refund?you aren't supposed to be buying a baby. youre supposed to help keep your birthmom fed and from living on the streets and make sure she can get medical care. and if she changes her mind thats her right.
infact, how about it works like this, if your birthmom decides not to place, you get your money reimbursed, but if she decides to place, she gets to be there when the baby says its first word, when the baby takes it first steps, when the baby tries to learn how to ride a bike, when the baby cries for its mom. i think the birthmoms lose a TON more than your money could ever pay for. but they decide to make that sacrifice.
your comment offended me so much.