ElizabethAnn

As of last week, Angela had just begun clearing applications for orientation June 26-27, since we'd had to reschedule it previously due to an insufficient number of childless couples. I apologize for any inconvenience that this may have caused anyone. (And for the Yeungs; your application arrived here on Thursday and Angela sent you your registation paperwork for orientation that same day.)

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom... Let it be! And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me Speaking words of wisdom... Let it be! Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree There will be an answer, let it be! For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see There will be an answer, Let it be! Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be there will be an answer, let it be Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me Shine until tomorrow, let it be! I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom, Let it be! Let it be, let it be... Let it be, let it be There will be an answer. let it be Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom... Let it be -- The Beatles

Read this: Battle Over Custody of Columbo. Oh, for Pete's sake!!! If Catherine Falk is 38 years old, she is no longer an "adopted child." Grrrrr! (More on Peter Falk and his family history, HERE.)

On the subject of "positive adoption language," here's the perspective of one offended person (herself an adoptee) who shared her thoughts on this with the readers of the Dallas Morning News and who tells it like it is-- for her, personally: For more on this subject and the public response to it in Dallas, click here.

The Dallas Morning News ran an editorial recently in support of birthparents, which mentioned the opposition that moms-planning-to-place so often encounter from well-meaning friends and family members who don't understand what they're doing and why. Here's an excerpt:

A Silicon Valley computer maven and his wife have adopted successfully as a result of their YouTube video, adoption website and related Twittering: Stork Delivers Via Hi-Tech Methods.

Mari, you are such an amazing woman and such a prolific writer... even knowing your story as I do, I marvel at your strength and courage, and the resilience of the human spirit. (I see so much of you in your daughter!) I hope you give some thought to sharing your story with a wider audience (perhaps as an article for Adoptive Families magazine?) because I think you have much to teach us all!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if money is the only thing motivating someone to make an adoption plan, then they should definitely reconsider all the other options. Because money comes and money goes, but one should NEVER apply a permanent solution to a temporary problem. That said, I've often found that prospective birthparents feel it's more "acceptable" to claim financial problems as a reason for placing, as if it's somehow more responsible to place for lack of funding than it is to admit one never really intended to become a mother or doesn't feel stable enough to take on the role or feels more invested in their career or knows that having one more child will completely push their marriage over the edge or cannot forfeit a lifestyle that would endanger a child, or wants their child to have the kind of parent they know they themselves cannot become, or wants to protect their child from a partner they cannot or will not leave, etc. I watch the media reports of increasing domestic placement needs and the public response with mixed feelings; for all the excitement such stories may raise among those hoping to adopt, the media coverage seems oblivious to the fact that each of those placements represents such an enormous family loss to somebody who might otherwise have been able to make it, were it not for the economy. I think adoptive parents who find it more comfortable to tell their child/ren "your birthparents loved you but they couldn't afford to raise a baby" may find that explanation raises questions far more difficult to answer, when their children innocently respond by asking "then why didn't you just give them the money so they would be able to keep me?" (Sigh...)

Mari, as I read your installments, all I can think is how blessed we are to have you and your daughter as part of Abrazo's community, and how surely your gracious sharing of your story will help other mothers and their daughters out there. I think learning your daughter is pregnant before she's ready is probably every mother's fear, and yet, you demonstrate how such crises can be faced with grace-- and how all the tears shed in the course of such a personal tragedy can help grow a garden of miracles, in time. Bless you, my friend... and bless all those other mothers out there who are reading your words right now and struggling to find a way to support their own daughters in the midst of similar circumstances.

In Jerusalem yesterday, Rabbi Metzger urged the Pope Benedict to focus on righting the wrongs committed at the time of the Holocaust (see the entire story in The Jerusalem Post): To learn more about this historic tragedy, see Suddenly Goyish Resources for Children of Holocaust Survivors

The English media takes a close look at the family life of one adoptive mom who recently undertook a hunger strike on behalf of the children of Darfar: The Folly of Mama Mia.

Sad case, out of Michigan, where a 17-year-old is standing trial for the attempted murder of his grandparents, who had adopted him as a very young child: Michael Anderson's Near-Fatal Error in Judgement.

Not a big surprize, but Calista Flockhart & Harrison Ford Adopting A Daughter.

This is how we "show" hugs in writing around here... ((((Mari))))... may you feel welcomed and embraced at every turn. And may you always feel entitled to share your thoughts and feelings freely, and find healing in doing so. I have the utmost of respect and admiration for you and your daughter, and I am so thankful you joined Abrazo's family. Whenever your daughter is ready, you can be sure the Forum family will welcome her with open arms, as well! Happy Mother's Day, dear birthgrandmother!

From R.M. Bowman: For a quick summary of what the Presbyterian faith is about, click here. (This link takes you to a funny little book all about the frozen chosen.) And here's an interesting analysis that compares Presbyterian beliefs with those of other denominations:How Protestants Differ. Plus-- as a bonus-- "You Know You're A Presbyterian, If..." Who's next? Educate us about your Protestant roots!

At the suggestion of another Forum member, I'm launching this new section for all of us who are of the Protestant persuasion! So whether you're Methodist or Lutheran or Church of Christ or Nazarene or Baptist or Episcopalian or AME or Unitarian or Pentecostal or Presbyterian (like me) or some other flavor of the sort, pull up a chair and feel free to dish about your faith and why you believe what you believe and what your church says about adoption or anything else you feel inspired to share. And here are just a couple "appetizers", in case anyone needs some Protestant food for thought to get some stimulating discussion going here: A Historical Viiew at the Protestant Perspective on Adoption Where Have All the Protestants Gone? Does Being Protestant Impact Your Economic Status? Children of the Reformation: A Short & Surprizing History of Protestantism & Contraception

Hmmm... We've already got a Catholic Corner and a special section for our Jewish Friends, plus an area reserved for Interfaith Families and for Islamic discussions, as well as a Christianity thread and a general Church Chat... but perhaps our "Chapel Potluck" needs a Protestant(s) Dish, as well?

In the news today: Mormon Church Posthumously Baptized Obama's Mother In a sense, I guess it's as if the Church of the Latter Day Saints "adopted" Stanley Ann Dunham, which seems comforting on some level, although with her skepticism towards organized religion, one might wonder whether this would have been her desire? I do understand why other faiths are offended by the implication that the baptisms done in their churches were somehow inadequate; I'm wondering if our Mormon Forum members might shed some light on this practice, to help us all better understand it? And another question-- given the LDS' admirable emphasis on adopting (see this, for example), does the "sealing of the family" ever include birthparents? (And if not, wouldn't that imply that in Heaven, birthfamilies can never be reunited with the children they placed, because they weren't sealed as a family? Surely that's not the intent?) Just curious...

Here's the news article that appeared in the Austin American Statesman, about the accident that led to Efrain's untimely passing: Austin Accidents Claim Lives of Three Over Weekend. For those who have inquired about sending memorials, we are awaiting word from the family and will forward information as we get it. Thanks for keepng Bridget and little Lucas in your thoughts and prayers, as these are surely difficult days for all.

How cool is this? St. Joseph's in Spokane is honoring women who have placed children for adoption with a special Birthmother's Mass on Saturday!! If more churches were doing this, more desperate moms might find the courage to consider adoption, no longer fearful that doing so would be a sin?!

And on the celebrity adoption front, Madonna is awaiting a decision by officials in Malawi on her adoption efforts there (read the latest update), while closer to home, San Antonians Tony & Eva Parker are contemplating adoption, as well: Why Tony & Eva May Take the Adoption Plunge.

Laural, I "get" why that bugs you! Although it surely is not an intentional slight on their part, it would seem to send a message that those who are so special to you and your boys are not as significant to them and you understandably feel they should be as valued as any other extended family members!

I just wanted to copy this here, because it was originally posted on the Bald Tires thread and I thought it was so special, it deserved to be someplace else where folks could find it, as well! (Thanks, Rebecca!)