Bryan&Rebecca

Well, I've finished my last treatmen (December 23). I felt okay for Christmas, just a little tired. I am now today actually feeling I can get off the couch and do some cleaning. I go for another CAT SCAN next week. So I went through a period of feeling sorry for myself which makes me really mad at myself. :angry: I got to thinking that it's been 4 years since we tried to start a family. We found out we couldn't so looked into adoption. Once we committed to adoption I was okay and started feeling happy again. We were so looking forward to soon having a little one to love. We had friends having problems also with getting pregnant so we had a couple of people to share our feelings with. Fast forward to now. We are still in limbo because of the cancer and all our friends have now had their babies. I'm am so happy for them but I feel like we've been left in the dust. I know I need to take care of myself first. I know God has a plan for us and it may not be the one we thought it would be. We have to be patient.... I know all the sayings because I say them to myself all the time. Sorry. I just needed to vent. It helps to get it out sometimes. I love the forum and how much support you all provide. -Rebecca

Thank you everyone for your kind words. At least I do feel part of the BALD tires because I am now bald (thanks Heidi for that chuckle of my hair growing back). Seriously - your words keep me lifted up and encouraged. Feel free to keep em coming -Rebecca

Hey everyone. I had a Cat Scan a couple of weeks ago, and EVERYTHING came out clear. No sign of any cancer cells forming or growing!! My CA125 (cancer screener blood test) has been in the average range since my surgery. I went for my 5th treatment (out of 6) today. I'm feeling tired and I'm sure I'll be going to sleep early tonight, Thursday, and Friday. By Tuesday I should be okay, just a little tired (if I follow my other 4 cycles). The only thing that sucks is that Thursday I will be at work all day and then I have to go to my student's DARE graduation. We'll see if I can make all that. My 6th treatment is on Dec 23 so I'll feel crappy for Christmas. But that's okay if I never have to do that chemo med again. It is hard not being a Bald Tire anymore. I feel such a closeness to all of them. I am so happy for them and everyone else that has placements or matches. I wish I could be there to get those phone calls also. My time WILL come. I have to look towards the future. It is hard going to my friends house that just had babies and hold them. It is not that I am not happy for them because I am for sure. I just wish I could be there with my baby visiting her and her baby. Hoping everyone is healthy -Rebecca

Congrats Ben and Lisa. What a crazy weekend for you guys and so well worth it.

Well, I am now halfway through my treatments - 3 down, 3 to go. I slept the first 2 days of my treatment, boy it sure wiped me out this time. The next 3 days I laid around. I couldn't go to work on Monday because I was so tired. I went back today but took it easy. I actually didn't get queasy at all this time. Hope it's like that next time also. It is interesting dealing with some of the parents during this. I am not in the classroom 100% of the time and have missed 1/2 the year anyway. They are sympathetic of my situation but obviously want what is best for their child. I have a full time sub in the room that is fully capable of taking care of things. I just seem to have more parents wanting to meet or call this year because they're concerned about grades or whatever. I had one parent meet with me the week I got back. I understand I am the one responsible for the students, but I am a little preoccupied at the time. Of course my goal is to be there for every one of my students. I just can't be there fully yet. If anyone has any feedback on this, it would be great. Maybe a parents perspective Parent teacher conferences are tomorrow and Thursday. I gotta get through working 8-8:00. I'll be wiped out Friday. -Rebecca

I am having a darned time finding a church, though i do belong one now, now that we moved. I just don't feel "home" at any yet...maybe it will take time? Good luck on finding a church. I seemed to have the same problem - didn't feel at home or like I belonged. My husband didn't like the Catholic church. I ended up trying a church my friend went to and my husband attends with me now. We feel like part of the church. It probably helps that it is a small church. Again - good luck on finding a church where you feel at home. -Rebecca

Thanks for the info and support, Tammy. -Rebecca

I have 6 treaments in all so I have 4 more to go. They haven't mentioned radiation, and of course I forgot to ask at my last treatment. Thank you for your support. -Rebecca

I grew up Catholic, but about a year and a half ago I switched to a contemporary Baptist church. It did take some time to get used to babies not getting baptised, no 1st communion, or confirmation. We get baptised when we are ready to receive Jesus. We don't have communion at every service and I've never seen small kids take communion. We don't have confirmation at all. About the man that committed suicide - I don't know about the funeral, but it is not our place to judge others. I thought that was God's job?? I hope this does not offend anyone (I am still a baby in my faith - I'm always learning new things) -Rebecca

Thank you everyone for you uplifting words. I don't know if I'm supposed to update y'all on my progress, but it helps to write about it and get all your great feedback. -Rebecca

Well, I am now finished with my 2nd treatment. Now we'll see how long the side effects stay with me this time. My hair started falling out a week ago (exactly 2 weeks from my 1st treatment). I shaved it the next day. It took my kids at school awhile to get used to that even though I wore hats. Now I'll see what they think of my wig. I hope everyone is feeling well. -Rebecca

Jan, Thanks for the tip. and yes i was excited that i won't have any more of those monthly visits -Rebecca

Suzi, It would be great to meet up sometime. Sorry you're out there in Oregon by yourself. I'm sure it's beautiful though. If you come in January I may actually be feeling well because i'll hopefully be finished with my chemo treatments. Who knows. -Rebecca P.S. we are the opposite of you. we had our paperwork turned in by the may 2008 orientation, but felt it was too soon. who would have ever thought that??!! we needed time to get a few more things finished around here and now i guess we'll have even more time.

Don and Andrea - I am so glad your mom is doing well!! That is awesome news. Everyone else- Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers. It lifts me up to read your posts!! We are focusing on my health right now and hope the cancer does not return. My prayers are with everyone out there also. Elizabeth- Thank you for the links. I'll look at them soon. -Rebecca

Suzi and Ben, THANK YOU for your thoughts and prayers. I'm trying to stay positive. -Rebecca P.S. We almost went to your orientation, but waited until the july 2008.

Well, I guess I can't consider myself a cancer survivor yet. I'm right in the midst of it. I went in for my adoption physical at the beginning of August and the doc felt a mass in my abdomen. I went from there to my OB who ordered an ultrasound. He said I had an 8 inch cyst that he wanted to take out immediately before it ruptured. They also took out my right ovary because the cyst was growing all around it. A few days later I had it taken out, but they said there was a suspicious growth on the cyst. They had to do tests and retests. They found out it was malignant and weeks later we found out that it is a very rare ovarian cancer with no studies on it. I then had to go in for a second surgery because the biopsy showed my left ovary had cancer also. This time they took out ovary, uterus, lymph nodes... Those biopsy (except ovary) came back cancer free!! They said the cancer was in stage 1. I now am going through some chemo treatments as a "precaution" since not much is known about it. I guess we got lucky!! We may not have found it early enough if it wasn't for the adoption physical. It was hard at first knowing we had to stop out adoption plans again, but we know we have to focus on my health and getting better. Just wanted to share my story - writing about this usually helps me cope. -Rebecca

We did learn how you got your name, but I won't tell.