Jump to content

Dale and Amanda

Forum eLite
  • Posts

    3,305
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

Posts posted by Dale and Amanda

  1. I so wish we could add this little angel to our family. None of our paperwork is up to date :( On sunday both Miller and Delaney asked for a baby brother, I sometimes wonder if God is whispering on our ear through our children. I know that both Doug and I want another child, he just told me last week he would love to have a baby in our home to hold all day (he works from home now). How does anyone know if this or the next case is for their family....I am going to pray about this baby boy right now!

    I can tell you from our experience that God does amazing things when adding to families! The only thing for us that was current was our fingerprints as we had them done last December for Arianna's placement. They are good for a year. Other than that, everything had to be done between Friday afternoon and Tuesday afternoon when we headed for San Antonio.

    I scrolled back through all the posts about the baby girl that is now known as Nichole...and I am still amazed that she is here!!!

  2. Tina, I agree. We want Arianna and Nichole to appreciate what they have and take care of things. I have friends whose children make it a game to see how short a life they can give something...and then beg for a new one when they do break/lose it.

    A couple of years ago the kids wanted Ipods. They were going to get the nice big video ones (at 10 years of age). I talked my friend out of it as I reminded her that if they are able to download videos, she no longer has any say-so in what they watch (you should have seen some of the songs that were downloaded!!!). Well, the Ipod was gone in about 2 weeks, so it would have been some big bucks out the window.

    I was raised to appreciate what I had (which wasn't much, but I took care of it). I want my children to appreciate it as well. I take care of my home, so I hope that they will learn some by example.

    We have sponsored children in "needy" countries for the past 10 years or so. I hope that we are able to share that with the girls as well as in more hands-on ways.

  3. I guess it would be best for us to start looking to start over if we were to go through a Texas agency. Our previous homestudies were expressly for TN, so those studies probably wouldn't be in the format TX needs. ARGH! There is so much to think about and process!!!

  4. I have a question...I have noticed that most PIWs come in expecting to be matched with an expecting mother. Do you have PIWs expressly for older placements? There have been a couple of older children this year and I know that our homestudy has not been done for TX standards, so I was wondering if you have people coming in specifically for an older child?

  5. Wow! I have to say that I entered the adoption world quite ignorant of many things. Over time I have been educated through many of you that transracial adoption can work well (although many posts as of late seem to say that adoption period is harmful to children). I have also learned that I am willing to accept that there was no prenatal care, and can still have a healthy baby. Not all stimulants, drugs, or tobacco products will permanently harm my child.

    I am thankful that I have had this forum as a resource. I hope that others are able to find it a supportive and helpful resource as well.

  6. All I can say is I can relate. Both of my pregnancies with Charlie and Lindsay were hidden. NOBODY knew I was pregant except my husband at the time and the adoption agency. It is a feeling hard to explain. I would NEVER abandon my babies but I know what it feels like to have to hide it and have no support.

    I know that there are places that women can turn to, but is there anything that would have made it easier to talk to anyone? I think that a compassionate ear might be helpful.

  7. Update on Paris: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20...ss-topheadlines

    This qoute makes me mad but at least she isn't adopting the 4 blonde girls. Asked if she'd want to adopt, Hilton said, "Maybe, but I want to have my own children."

    Paris Hilton said something stupid and ignorant? I'm so surprised!

    A perfect example of why she SHOULDN'T adopt (at least not in the near future). I'm not saying that people can't change, but it wouldn't be beneficial for anyone right now.

  8. Surely there is no SW (or judge for that matter) that would approve her for placement or grant the finalization anytime in the near future. I know that people can change over time, so I wouldn't say that she will never be a fit parent, but her current plans certainly don't seem to show that she is ready for the seriousness of parenting!!

  9. Prayers for you guys this weekend Cathy! Follow your hearts and speak slowly. Our families were supportive of adoption, but we met with some hesitation when they learned that we were adopting an AA baby. As far as our families go, it is all a non-issue. I will pray that your family will see that this is your hearts' desires and that they will be supportive even though they may not completely understand what it all means just yet!

  10. One thing about obesity is that there is an issue there (at least healthwise) and it is one that CANNOT be hidden. People can drink too much, be workaholics, complete slobs or most anything else and you can hide it if you choose to (at least for the duration of an adoption). Pre- and post-placement appointments are made in advance, so many of the issues that may cause concern are able to be "cleaned up" for the necessary time.

    If adoption professionals wanted to, they could look closely enough to disqualify many if not most potential adoptive parents. As professional as a person tries to be, it is a subjective evaluation...personal opinion counts.

  11. Weight is always such a delicate issue, whether someone weighs too little or too much.

    I'm curious if someone who is anorexic would be considered as an adoptive parent, considering there are major health risks there.

    Also, with mobility being the issue for the 500 lb. man, would someone with physical handicaps be discounted as well? What about chronic diseases? People with major heart history issues? I know that many agencies stop at certain ages. How old is too old to adopt?

    I know that we want to give children the best life possible. A life without any issues is not reality. I know that we already face issues having a transracial family. I will do the best I can. That is pretty much the same with my weight issues. Arianna doesn't miss out on anything because of my weight. I am not an obese person that sits on the sofa all day. I never have been. I hated having a desk job because I don't like to be still. Arianna loves going for our walks (well, she's still in the stroller)!

    I think that it would be best to leave as a case by case basis. If a SW feels that the family would be a good fit and would provide a good home, I don't understand why a judge wouldn't consent to it. The one thing I didn't see mentioned is if the man has gained the weight since their first adoption (since it did say that this is the same judge that granted the first one). That could be a red flag.

    Just my thoughts...

  12. Out of Alabama comes the sad tale of Geretha Lewis, an 18-year-old birthmom who allegedly placed her baby for adoption without telling her family members, for fear that they would stop her. She says she called agencies off a referral list given to her by the hospital social worker, and eventually met with one, handing over her one-month-old baby girl in secret, in the hospital parking lot.

    Within 2 weeks, however, they found out what she'd done, they didn't approve, and urged her to get the baby back (which cannot happen under Texas law, where a mother's surrender is considered permanent from the start.) However, when she tried to recall with whom she'd placed her child, she said she couldn't remember exactly, because she'd torn up all the papers they gave her in hopes of keeping her decision a secret from her mother. (In Alabama, apparently, the laws restrict anyone under 19 from placing without parental consent unless they have a court-appointed attorney; this is different from Texas law, which says that a girl of any age may place a baby for adoption without her parents' knowledge and without legal representation.)

    Eventually, she contacted the agency she thought had her baby, to return the child to her mother's care, but that agency denies any knowledge of her, so now, the baby is considered missing. Read story, here. What appears evident is that this birthmom was so apprehensive of her family's involvement she took drastic steps to try to prevent them from getting involved.

    So my question is this: whether or not her mother liked the idea of adoption, had she supported her daughter's right to make her own best choice instead, do you think this birthmother would still be seeking the return of her baby? And what makes it ethically-appropriate for family members to place pressure on birthparents regarding their placement decisions, when the law prevents others from doing so?

    In the follow-up story it appears that the adoption story was a cover up for the actual events that ended the life of the baby.

×
×
  • Create New...