Dale and Amanda
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Posts posted by Dale and Amanda
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Erin, Melissa is right. There are many different things that affect Abrazo's orientation invitations because they don't want to have families hanging out there forever. They have an idea of what birthparents are looking for, so it isn't that you are wrong. They may not often have babies that "fit" your preferences, and those that may might prefer that their child is the first.
Our family choices aren't for everyone, but we have two beautiful African American baby girls, and my husband and I are both anglo. It has been an interesting adventure and we wouldn't trade it for anything. If you have any questions about transracial parenting, feel free to ask (you can pm me if you would like).
Hopefully you will have better understanding after you talk with Abrazo. Wishing you the best in seeking an addition for your family!
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Melissa, what did the SW that offered to do the update say about it? I'm not sure about how it would all work, but you are doing a great job of staying on top of things! I hope it works out that you can just use the update!
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Congratulations to the newest family! May you be the first of many April placements!!!
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Hoping an Abrazo family will soon be on their way to adding to their family!!!
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I love all of the 'Hope' references y'all!!! Thank you so so much for all of your warm congrats...you all are just too much and your support has meant so much to me/us on our journey to becoming parents of little Eli and growing our family by more than just 1 little person!
I posted our story on the Shooters thread if any of you are interested. Be forewarned, it turned into a long one!
Blessings,
Hope
But Hope, it is SO worth taking the time to read. Your family's faith has resulted in an amazing way!!!
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Amazing! You have a beautiful baby BOY!!! Congratulations! Happy tears for the newest family.
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I appreciate all of the thoughts shared here. It has really given me some things to think about.
Natalie, one of the things a friend at church said is that many of our friends would love to help, but they don't know how. When somone in our church is pregnant, we try to help them with anything we can. With adoption, it is usually more prayer and financial help that is needed. If you have friends that want to help you, I say allow it. One of the things that we are to do in church is bless others. This is one way that your friends will be able to help you.
Dale and I also struggle with the pride of self-support. I think that is why I was questioning the yard sale. We have worked to get to a position that we are often able to help others rather than need it ourselves.
Good luck with the adoption funds!
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I think when asked some of the more uncomfortable questions (especially about "buying" a child), it is easiest to say that we pay fees for adoption services. If someone is truly interested in the information for the possibility of their persuing adoption, I am a bit more open about the differences between our two adoptions (i.e., medical costs and travel). It really is no one's business exactly what we have done, but then again, I really want people to understand the realities of adoption vs. the misconceptions.
As for "reduced" rates being an incentive to adopt AA children, it was never a thought for us and I don't know that it is really a true incentive. We persued both girls before we had a clue as to what $$ would be involved. It is different because they were both BOGs so there was no advance preparation. It was pretty much busting through what we needed to do because the money was secondary. I may have posted this elsewhere, but I didn't even ask about Nichole's health until the day we left for SA, and then it was only so that we could be prepared for additional care if necessary.
We are so thankful for our girls.
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I see from previous posts that some of you have had yard sales to help finance your adoption. Would it be odd for us to do this post-placement (since Nichole came WAY before we thought she would)? I am struggling with this one, because most people don't know about the $$ that has gone into it (and will continue to through finalization!). We aren't struggling financially, but it would be nice to have the loans taken care of sooner rather than later.
Any thoughts and/or suggestions? I won't be offended by honesty!
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My goodness, the Stork has been VERY busy this week!
Congratulations to the newest expanded family!!!
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Congratulations to the newest family!!!
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Welcome Melissa! As I type I am listening to my 3 1/2-month-old daughter squeal with delight at her daddy. I look forward to following your journey!!!
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My sister called earlier and said that she and my nephew are planning to fly out to visit next Friday! They are flying on passes, so hopefully the flight will not be full and they will be able to come in as planned. Arianna was almost a year old before they got to see her, and they didn't want that to happen with Nichole.
My neice is devastated because she has to go visit her dad for spring break, and will not be able to make the trip with them. We are going to plan for her to come out here on a long weekend later on this year.
I can't wait for them to get here!!!!
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Welcome to the Abrazo family and congratulations on your little bundle!
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Thanks everyone!! I am going to call Abrazo soon and ask them the specifics. I didn't think we could even be waiting until after we did the update??
I will call them and ask them. I'm so excited!! I can't believe I'm starting it again!!
Dale - OMG your avatar is SO lovely!! How beautiful!! How long was your wait if you don't mind me asking?
Natalie, they may require that you do the update before you can take calls, I'm not sure. I just know that you will have to have another one within 30 days of placement because of Texas law, and an update is only good for 30 days, so the law isn't working with you so much there!
It wasn't long ago that we started looking at a second child. We were placed within 3 weeks of that, because Nichole was born without a waiting family, and we took placement of her 6 days after birth. We never did make it to an Abrazo orientation, as we took placement of Arianna (our oldest) through another agency right after sending in our inquiry to Abrazo. She was 4 months old and also did not have a waiting family, so we only had 10 days to get our info in order for her placement. Thank goodness we had been foster parents a few years ago, so we only had to have updates as well.
So to answer your question, we didn't wait with either of ours...and our girls are only 15 months apart...and they keep me quite busy! (Today is a rare day that they are napping at the same time because we ran a few errands earlier today).
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Hello!! My name is Natalie, and my dh is Keith. We have been married almost 6 glorious years. We have a BEAUTIFUL 13 month old son © who was placed in our arms at 5 days old in an open adoption. C is full AA and we are both CC so we are a very proud transracial family!!
We live in Dallas (we are moving this week actually up near McKinney / Denton, TX). We are starting the adoption process again (honestly if we didn't have to wait for the tax credit we would have done it earlier
) and hope to adopt another beautiful baby in another open adoption with Abrazo!! We aren't sure yet what we will all be open to, but right now we think we will ONLY be open to full AA.Luckily we only have to update our homestudy from the first time, and will do that once we have moved and settled in (but probably RIGHT when we move because I SOOO want to start soon LOL). We still have to "officially" joing Abrazo also, but I'm excited to begin the process again!!
Natalie
Natalie, check with the ladies at Abrazo how to proceed, because they need an update done within 30 days of placement, so you want to make sure that you don't just need to send them a copy of your original hs. I don't know the full procedure, but saving time and $$ is BIG for me!!!
BTW, welcome! We have an 18 m.o. AA girl and a 3 m.o. AA girl (placed through Abrazo).
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I don't have a problem with incentives based on special needs children (medical problems, etc,). I have a huge problem with incentives based soley on skin color.
If people truly just wanted a baby to love, it would be a moot point.
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Finally, the announcement! Congratulations to the new family of FOUR!!!
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With our adoptions, we did not take the financials into consideration when presented with either girl. We didn't have a clue about any of it when we called about Nichole. Arianna was also persued without regard to the $$ involved. I just knew that there are several agencies that reduce fees for AA children. That had nothing to do with our decisions.
I know of people that won't work with agencies that reduce fees. That is their choice, but it isn't a child's choice as to what agency they are placed through. Regardless of fee structures, all children deserve a loving home.
This really is a difficult subject, but it is one that has much room for improvement.
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I guess it would be best for us to start looking to start over if we were to go through a Texas agency. Our previous homestudies were expressly for TN, so those studies probably wouldn't be in the format TX needs. ARGH! There is so much to think about and process!!!
Not necessarily! There are social workers here who work on TX standards for those of us going through Abrazo. They would be more than happy to "get you up to date" I'm sure!
I saw this, and obviously you were correct! Our hs update was done in a VERY short time, so anyone else (or maybe I'm the only one) that may have thought this...it can be done!
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Loriahn, glad to hear it!
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Any news on this little one?
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Paul and Fabi, that is amazing news! Congratulations and enjoy your bundle of blue!!!
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Are there any PIWs that could open their hearts to a beautiful baby?
INQUIRY
in Looking to Adopt
Posted
Erin and James, it is true that we all have to be honest with what we can handle. The racial considerations are not the only ones. When we first started looking into adoption, we started asking others what would happen if the birth mother had smoked, consumed alcohol, done drugs, and to what degree could we realistically expect a healthy child.
Most of the children that are placed for adoption come from less-than-ideal situations. It doesn't mean that the baby won't be healthy, but there are never guarantees, even if we were all able to have biological children. In the past year, I have had a friend that is VERY health-conscious lose her baby during delivery. Another friend currently has a baby in NICU, and they have had constant prenatal care and have stable homes, support, finances, etc.
All of this is to say that adoption is a bumpy road. This one may exist to move you to where you need to be (another agency or re-thinking an aspect of your inquiry). Most of us have had similar bumps (and I would be happy to share some of ours with you if you would like). Some are public and some are private, but they all work together to get you in place to meet your child.