Adam & Beth
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Posts posted by Adam & Beth
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Shreveport is as close to texas as you can get!!!!!!!
Or how about Texarkana..
Actually We almost stayed in Texarkana on our way home for ICPC to make the drive time a little easier. When searching for hotels there, you had to be careflu as Half the city is in Texas, half the city is in Arkansas and you wouldn't want to violate terms of the Compact.
Good luck to your friends in Shreveport
-A
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While we assured her that Abrazo has great parents-in-waiting from all over, she was adamant about wanting her baby to grow up in the Lone Star State. She saw this as assurance that her open adoption would truly be open, if her child could grow up in a home close enough to allow for periodic visits.
I know some birthparents may think that having their child grow up in a Texas home will make it easier for periodic visits, but I guess it all depends on WHERE in Texas you live and your mode of transportation!
Beaumont to El Paso is 742 miles
and
Beaumont to Chicago is just 770 miles
and
El Paso is actually closer to California than to Dallas!
Very good points. Then there is also the fact that there are no guarantees that families won't move around (whether that be a move closer to family, or I've known some to move even just a little further away from family
, and I've known many (including my own family/extended family to move to another city/state as part of their career path). My point is that you just never know what road life will take you down. I would hate for a birhtfamily to pass up the opportunity to meet some of the great PIWs Abrazo has some of whom happen to live out of the Great State of Texas; But, I believe I understand why they want a Texas couple....I think there is a sense of security for the birthmothers that limit their choices to only those PIWs within the state of Texas, but unfortunately, where that family lives is no gaurantee of where they will be. Then if we look at the average birthmother, someone in their early 20's, that's a pretty young age and they too may find themselves moving around over the years.
But, it is their choice of course as to who they will entertain as perspective parents for their child. It is such a difficult decision. If I were in there shoes and felt that I wanted the best option for keeping in touch (with possible visits) with the PIWs, then I too would probably lean towards a 'local' couple if everything else were 'equal' between them and an out of state couple.
Again though, you raise an excellent point.
peace,
Adam
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Hello everyone,
My name is Melanie and my husband is Joe. We joined the forum last summer but circumstances prevented us from submitting our application at that time. So, we are just now mailing in our application. We are anxious, excited, nervous, etc. about what God might bring into our lives through adoption. We have wanted to adopt since before even getting married, whether or not we had any biological children.
We have been blessed with two boys, close in age (6 and 4) but God has closed the door to any more biological children and we hope to add to our family any covenant blessings that we can through adoption.
I look forward to hearing/reading your stories.
Melanie
Melanie,
Welcome to the forum. There are a number of Abrazo families in the Jersey area so you should be able to establish some good local support links and meet some new friends too
Best wishes to you in your journey to bring child #3 home
-Adam
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God is good!
Amen to That!
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Hi - We're hoping to adopt again domestically and I was just wondering what made everyone choose Abrazo? It seems like a great agency!
......
I also appreciate your responses. I'm out of state too, so just curious about the out-of-staters.
thanks again,
Hi LoveFaithHope:
We too are out of staters and through Abrazo, were successfully placed with our beautiful son, Nathan. GOD IS GOOD!
We were using a great adoption agency locally, but they are a very young and small agency and advised that it could take quite some time before the right birthmother/baby were to come our way. (Surprisngly, a good situation occurred shortly after we started with Abrazo, but we felt we were on the right path to continue with the Abrazo program). Our agency advised they knew a number of people in the Memphis area that had successfully adopted through an Agency in San Antonion known as Abrazo Adoption Associates.
We looked into Abrazo to see what their program was like and spoke with a couple or two locally who had used their services. We did the inquiry, application and Orientation and Abrazo really opened our eyes to what Open Adoption is (and just as importantly, what it is not). Abrazo has a good program and it works. Our son Nathan is proof of that. Being out of state, I think it helps to have some local support resources as well and our local adoption agency has filled that role. At a minimum, make sure you are working with a good social worker who will be handling your case while you await finalization.
The Abrazo Orientation is excellent at helping you establish support resources within your adoption/Orientation group. Believe me, even after a mere 2 day orientation, you will form lifelong bonds with some if not all of your group. I can't tell you how supportive our friends in our group have been to us.
Through Abrazo, we met, matched, and formed a life-long bond with a wonderful birthmother. The things we learned about open adoption helped put to rest our fears and helped kindle a good open relationship with her. We are grateful for Abrazo's help in educating us about how beneficial an open adoption relationship can be for all parties.
Is Abrazo right for you?
Only you can decide that. Check them out. They are not for everyone and they'll be the first to tell you that. That is one of the first things they told us at Orientation. But if you do feel they are for you and they feel the same, it could be the start of a wonderful relationship
Is there a perfect adoption agency?
No, I don't think so (nor is their the perfect client probably
) but I do believe that some are agencies are a step above other agencies and I can tell you that, in my opinion, Abrazo's plan does work. Without us having taken a leap of faith to use them, we would not be placed with our beautiful son GOD IS GOOD! and I believe he guided us throughout our entire adoption journey. I am thankful that through him and through our local agency, we were directed to Abrazo. Whatever you decide, may God be with you on your journey and may your life be filled with blessings & joy.
Peace be with you,
Adam
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Cancer is so limited ...
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit.
A very nice poem indeed. Working at Children's Cancer hospital everyday lets you see that cancer does not descriminate based on one's age, but these young persons' strong will, and their glowing personalities sure let you know that their illness is not going to get the better of them (if they can help it).
It sure makes one grateful too to have one's health.
May God grant all those suffer from this serious illness much peace and healing.
Signed,
the son of a mother who is now 5+ years cancer-free
God is good! -
Just a reminder: as of January 1, 2008, the legal risks of Texas placements have changed along with the "new, improved" laws about alleged fathers not being entitled to notice if they fail to register with the Voluntary Paternity Registry during pregnancy or within 30 days after the birth.
Whereas before, agencies like Abrazo told prospective birthmoms we had to know the identity of every possible father in order to contact and notify him of his potential legal rights in advance, the Texas Legislature now says that only legal fathers (i.e., husbands or men who have already adjudicated themselves in court as fathers) have a right to notice of a woman's decision to place her child for adoption, unless men suspecting they've fathered a child have registered (or do so in the month after the baby was born.)
This means that essentially EVERY placement in Texas is now at legal risk for at least a month after birth, unless every baby being placed were to be held in foster care for that 30 day period during which any man could still register, which is not in any child's best interests. It's not clear how Texas courts will resolve inevitable conflicts in which contests arise over babies fathered by men other than a birthmom's spouse, should they happen to register and/or sue for custody?
Even experienced adoption attorneys in this state are scratching their heads trying to figure out how this change in our laws came about and how long it'll take for a landmark lawsuit to get filed challenging this confusing new mazes of regulations!?! The best any of us can do, unfortunately, is to warn our clients of the "new, improved" risks it creates and keep on dotting our "i"s and crossing our "t"s and hoping our cases are legally sound...
WOW! This is very interesting to know. Thanks for the adoption eductation lesson today Elizabeth
Just for my personal clarification:
This means that essentially EVERY placement in Texas is now at legal risk for at least a month after birth,This would not be applicable though if waivers were signed by the spouse or potential fathers correct?
or incorrect? -A
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My wife and I wanted to say hello (from the Houston area) .... we ...hope to be one the many blessed couples that have experienced adoption through Abrazo!
Welcome Mr. & Mrs. "JALLWEIN"
edit: Make that WELCOME JESSICA & JEREMY!
We too hope that you will become one of the blessed couples (as we have recently become) who experience a successful adoption plan through Abrazo
Best wishes,
Adam
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(So be it! What's that old joke? "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans...")
Yep, we have two different sets of family friends that "kept trying for a girl" and both families have 5 boys under the age of eight!
My parents were never 'trying' for one over the other, though they hoped for a girl in the mix. They stopped when the 4th boy delivered was 10lbs 10 oz -
HAPPY HANUKKAH!
I was thinking about you two the other day and was wishing you both a Happy Hanukkah! Sorry I failed to email you that greeting.
I was talking with one of Lily's good friends (Gage - 6 years old) at a birthday dinner the other night as he is experiencing his second Hanukkah. His mother and father are not married and he has become closer with his dad, who is Jewish, over the past 2 years. Gage celebrates both Hanukkah (dad's side) and Christmas (mother's side). Gage gave us a nice Hebrew blessing before dinner.
So, to all those of the Jewish Faith, HAPPY HANUKKAH!
-Adam
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I have always thought there is a special connection between children and Godparents. I unfortunately never got to know my Godmother as it was a distant relative who is now deceased, but I am very close with my Godfather who is one of my uncles in Dallas
Peace,
-A
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Congrats to the Canteys...can't wait to meet you all some day in Memphis! Continued prayers for you guys and your courageous birthfamilies.
Ditto! Congrats to the greatly expanded new family. Lots of siblings, what a blessing
-A
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Two adorable children in the gallery...
Those kids are just TOO CUTE!
Praying they will find a good forever home soon.
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ALL children deserve all the time and attention they can get.
And some children will demand it more than others.
Each child is unique and each age has its own challenges. We've been blessed with helping raise a now 4 year old girl (niece) since birth and now we've been blessed with a newborn to raise every moment of every day
. I'd say on most days, Nathan is more work than our niece, but there have been many a day as well where raising a Toddler old who is 'testing boundaries' or simply "being a brat" 
has been more tiring than the lack of sleep we get raising Nathan. Ultimately, I'm grateful to have them both in my life. There are definitely days where I would change things (just my opinion of course), but they are both blessed gifts from God and I'm so grateful for the gift of being family to each of them.As always, be fair to yourself. Keep your mind open and evaluate all possiblities. Ultimately, only you know what is right for you and you will make the right decision for you.
I think knowing all your options helps you make your best decisions.Good luck. Every child deserves a good, loving family
Hoping the right child finds his/her way home to you soon -Adam
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Good / Comprehensive list Elizabeth and definitely lots of things to think about. Thanks for compiling that.
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If this is who I think it is, and I think it is ... CONGRATULATIONS on your precious bundle of boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I already went out looking for the picture but I imagine it'll be up in the next 24 hours or so provided Pamela, the non-stop,ever-going-go-go-placement gal is not headed to yet another placement tonight.
Not that that wouldn't be yet another great thing around here -A
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I'm trying real hard to decide between places right now. I have been attending a couple of churches, but don't want to rush joining because of the discount perk. Marc and I have struggled with this for a while, mainly becasue we are out of town so much on the weekends. We also come from different faith backgrounds aand are trying to compromise and find something that works for both of us. I am so glad for the pressure of making a decision, but I don't want to make the wrong one and regret it.
Oh the joy of future parenthood!
D
My husband and I were also of different faiths. It was time for us to finally choose when our girls were 2 and 3 yrs old. We definitely looked at how strong the children's programs were in our choices. We have been so blessed to have found one that has our girls so enthusiastic about Christian learning. Our church also has an awesome children's choir and they just love to sing about Jesus!
Hope
Beth and I are both of the Christian faith but of different denominations (me Catholic, her Methodist). It was a big step finding a place where we could both worship comfortably and most importantly, together, as a family. IMO, it takes some flexibility on both sides to find the right mix of where to call "home" in regards of a common church.
If I might share a little of our faith journey......First, it Sounds like you are already on the right track. Just take your time and most importantly, be open and honest with one another about your feelings for any place you choose to worship. Express your likes and your dislikes. It helps to know where your partner is coming from in his/her faith journey. While I've always considered myself to have a very strong faith, Beth's faith was stronger or more directed in some areas that mine was not. And some of my key "likes" of the church were different from hers or even ones that may were "dislikes" of hers. To me, finding the right church home took more soul examination mores than actual church shopping. Finding churches was easy. In the Catholic church, they often rotate or assign new priests every 5-7 years. So, it can very easily go from having a priest you connect with to one you don't think so highly of. Same goes for our current church where a minister may be there as short as 1 years and typically not much more than about 5 years. We are attending a United Methodist Church, St. Lukes.
We tried only a couple of different places and I really didn't think we would end up where we are now. Looking back, we should have tried a few more places, but honestly, I am happy where we are now. I'm glad we gave it a chance. It took some extra pushes from Beth to give it just a bit more of a chance though. We were much younger (24 yrs old) than the average person in our congregation when we first started going to church at St. Lukes together. It took me a year before I started to feel comfortable there. Is that too long? I don't know, it was just 'right' for us. Getting to know these others in my class who were going through similar things in their lives (like coming from different backgrounds and trying to find a mutual church home) was very helpful.
If it had not been for a brand new "Young Adults" sunday school class which was was composed primarily of young professionals and newly weds in our age demographic, we would not have stayed on. Since then, there have been more people are age and we've made invaluable friendships. We got involved in a number of programs the church offered and eventually Beth even left her job to go work there full time as the Youth Director. We love it, but it took some work on our part. 10 years of marriage later, we are not the "young adults" any more, but it's good to see new people going through the motions we once did and knowing they're on their way to establishing their church home. The children's director is a dear friend of ours as is the choir and children's choir director. So, we see good times ahead for Nathan as he grows up here.
Good luck on finding the right place for the two of you and for your future family. We found a good church home and I'm sure you will too
-Adam
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Welcome Baby Lauren Isabel and Congratulations to your new parents.
Peace be with you and your birthfamily.
-A
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Okay Brett & Traci, ...
What is Baby Girl Adam's Name?????
Or can you give us any teasers like length, weight, time of birth?.....We know it's a girl and as you can tell, you've got a lot of people here who are excited for you!
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Okay Brett & Traci, I have to ask as I'm eager to know....
What is Baby Girl Adam's Name????? -
Wow, I have been away from the forum for a week and look what happens. Congratulations to our newest Abrazo families.
That's how I felt too. Isn't it great!
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CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE NEW FAMILIES!
-Adam, Beth & Nathan
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Adam,
Thanks for always being such a wealth of knowledge. This info might even get my stubborn husband to check out the forum. He is ALL about the money issue!
D
Thanks. It's good to know someone finds some of my info helpful. Sometimes I'm full of useless knowledge
Really though, Happy to help
I too am very in touch with the financial side of things. While adoption process is worth the expense (knowing that our beautiful Son has come home to us ), it is nonetheless a Very expensive process IMO.
Any avenues to help alleviate some of that financial burden are of great interest to me.
I feel very blessed that the necessary resources came together in time for us to pursue adoption and that everything has worked out.
Signed,
A very blessed Dad
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A friend of mine who adopted from Guatemala also told me that this tax credit wouldn't apply for adopting a full Anglo child. Does anyone else have any insight into this scenario?
Ah, good ol' IRS form 8839.
I've been back and forth to that thing many many times. The instructions of it should help answer questions you might have and there are some good websites out there too to help. What helped me most was pulling out my copy of TurboTax Deluxe and going through the tutorial on the form.I am no expert on the subject, but do have experience with it. Always best to talk to a tax attorney / accountant for clarification. TURBOTAX did a very good job of processing the credit and providing all the information we needed. It was very helpful because it clarified what could and could not be processed including a Failed Adoption.
It is my understanding that the adoption tax credit has NO stipulations regarding sex/gender/race etc. There are exclusions regarding international adoption (not to mention all kinds of other exclusions or offsets such as employer assistance). If I remember correctly, you cannot claim the credit for a failed international adoption attempt but you can for a failed Domestic adoption. The web quote below confirms that.
Our failed placement in 2005-2006 was a full Anglo female. The credit was applied to our taxes.
Though the only "official" site is the IRS.Gov site, there are some good websites on the topic. For instance, Check out http://tax-credit.adoption.com/
The tax credit applies to domestic and international adoptions, but the procedure is not the same. Credit for expenses for international adoptions can be claimed only after finalization; for domestic adoptions, the credit can be applied even if the adoption does not go through.
Managing Adoption Expenses
in Looking to Adopt
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Okie-Dokie