Revan's Mommy

Rachel, Welcome to the Abrazo Family. I placed my son, Jared, in 1998. I met the AP's only once before placement. I wish there had been more visits but I didn't place after birth. I raised my son until he was 10 months old. Things will seem very difficult but my best advice is to take one day at a time. Always take a deep breath when you start to feel overwhelmed. And if that doesn't work, contact anyone of us birthmom's to talk everything through or jump online with us! Going through this, you will meet alot of strong and wonderful women who have been in your shoes. We don't pass judgement so don't feel ashamed about anything that your thinking or feeling. We've all been there. Something that helped me go through the process without pulling out my hair was listening to music that would cause me to cry out my anger, frustration, guilt, and most of all, LOVE! Enya has a new CD out called "Aramantine". It's a great CD. I used to listen to Enya and look at my son's photos so that I could get my crying out at home and not bust out crying when seeing another baby. But keep in mind that you are doing this for your child. I placed my son because I wanted him to have everything that I never got. He deserved a whole lot more than what I could give him at that time. If it helps, write letters to your child and when that child is old enough to understand everything you can give him those letters. So that your child will understand what went through your mind during the whole process. And don't stop the letters after placement. Write down all of your feelings and thoughts. And if when your child is 18 or so, and you don't want him to have those letters, put them in a safe place and save them for later or burn them. Whatever you want to do with them! Anyways, didn't mean to start rambling but just know that we are all here for you if you need someone to talk with! It's kind of a sisterhood here! Love Always, Melissa