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Angie

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Posts posted by Angie

  3. INQUIRY

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Thanks to all of you who have commented. In my initial post, if I implied that we were looking for a specific child (race, health, etc.), then I apologize. We did not enter this process lightly. We carefully considered a number of different options that would allow us to become parents again. We both agreed that adoption was the right course of action for us and James, being adopted himself, was in a unique position to understand a number of concerns and issues a birth parent and, then subsequently, a child, would have. Based on a number of factors, including some of the issues James faced, he was honest enough to admit that he had some limitations. Our mistake was not being clear enough on what we were open for in a child. I think all of us understand that there is always a risk when a child is born; none of us (biological or adoptive parents) can predict the future or health of the child. We are willing to take that chance. However, the other hurdle James and I face is that we have one biological child and, to be frank, it surprised me how detrimental that can be in the adoption process. For many reasons and out of respect for the work Abrazo does, I will not comment further on this issue in the forum.

    What I will say is that I did call today and had a very candid conversation. While the comments I heard were definitely not what I wanted to hear, I appreciated that person's honesty based on her perceptions and experience. So, now we are starting back at the beginning. Even if we changed our preferences, which is what I wanted to do, we would still not be accepted at this point by Abrazo due in part because we have a biological child; also, there are only so many families they can help at one time, which I truly do understand. If I am honest, it is a bitter pill to swallow to acknowledge we are not one of those families. Please do not take these comments as me being negative about Abrazo. These ladies have a very tough job and I don't know if I could do it! Now, I have to reflect and determine our next steps.

    Erin and James,

    I am sorry that you did not get the answers that you wanted. I realize even though you understand where the agency is coming from it is still a hard to hear when you have your heart set on something. I know we started our adoption process 3 1/2 years ago we were looking into a local agency and even filled out the application but we were drawn to Abrazo. At the time I wasn't sure why but the feelings were very strong and I knew this was the direction we needed to. At the time we parenting twin biological boys and where worried that it would not work out for us. It just so happened that our "timing" was right because we were able to proceed with the adoption process. We were the last to place in our group but we were also matched for a long time. My son's birthmother liked the fact that we where parenting and it did not matter to her that they were biological. Now if we had started our process at any other time there would have been a good chance we would not have able to proceed. We feel strongly that this was God's plans for our family to add our son and his birthfamily. I know I have been disappointed so many times because I thought is was right time for us to have another child. Once I held my son for the first time it became clear that wasn't because the time was now. I am sure everything will work out for you when the is time is right. I hope your reflecting provides you the answers you need.

  12. Open Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Tina,

    I know that was a uncomfortable conversation to sit through but I think you did a wonderful job expressing how you and many of us on the forum feels. It may have not gotten through to everyone but at least you gave them something to think about.

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