[Things Infertile Folk Hate to Hear]

Ok..I am one of the forum friends that get on daily and never write anything. But the last few times I have gotten on this topic I can just feel my blood pressure going up. As I too have heard many of these DUMB things people say. One that broke my heart that hasn't been mentioned that was said to me was.... when God is ready for you to be a mom he will bless you with a baby.

Now don't get me wrong I know that God's timing is PERFECT but that statement made me feel like I was a bad person and when I GOT IT TOGETHER he would bless me!! Man, that one hurt. Some people!!!

[Infertility Qualification]

Elaine,

I'm excited for you and your husband!! I can remember orientation weekend like yesterday!! It was an awesome experience!! Plus we had a blast!! Have a wonderful trip in march!!

Tera

Good evening and welcome to the forum!  My husband and I just mailed off our application a week ago, so the infertility letter is still fresh in my mind. 

I called my gynecologist's office and asked to speak to one of her nurses.  I told her that my husband and I were adopting, and we needed a letter from my doctor. 

My doctor typed up a nice note stating that she has been my gyn. since 2001.  She also stated that she was the one that diagnosed me as being infertile.  I had the Dr. office mail me the letter ASAP.  That was easier then driving approx. 45 minutes (one way to her office) to pick it up.  As we all know most doctors are very busy and occassionally they may "drop the ball".  I knew taking the time to type up a letter for me was not at the top of their priority list, but it was at the top of mine!      I figured "the squeaky wheel gets the oil" and called them every other day until I had the letter in hand.  I also told them from the first call (concerning the infertility letter) that my adoption paperwork could not be mailed off until I had that letter in hand.  That seemed to prompt them to do it a little faster as well.

I made a copy of the letter from my doctor (as well as all of my other documents) before mailing my application off.  I just wanted to make sure if anything ever happened (in the mail) that I had a back up copy of everything.

Hope this helps.  Again, welcome to the forum!  I have found it so helpful in chatting with others that are/have been in my shoes.  I look forward everyday to logging on and seeing what is new! 

Keep us posted on how things are going.  Are you all coming to the March orientation?  My husband and I are attending that one.

Sincerely,

Elaine

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[APPLICATION]

Greatly Put!! Once you are home safe and sound it truely does just melt away!!

Hi Angie, we adopted our son through Abrazo in March of 2004. He is 10 months old and a blessing greater than any we could have ever imagined.

We understand the process and accept that it has no specific timeline but instead is a journey to match the right BP's with the right AP's. Could we have a one year old and a newborn? yes, but it could also take significantly longer. Either way we are ready to go - when the time is right it will all come together and we will again be blessed with yet another wonderful birth family and a new child to love.

The waiting is the hard part. I heard something this week - "begin with the end in mind"  Focus on the end result and the time will pass. From our perspective we hardly remember the waiting and the paperwork - the day Matthew came home it all just melted away - it just was not important any more.

Hang in there!

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[Dr. Phil]

Those stories sound just like what happened to my friends the Gurneys. They too had a private adoption and their lawyer didn't have a clue to what was going on and because of that they had to return their baby girl at age 2 1/2!! It is horrible on the child!!! The Gurney's had a female that got a hold of them to tell them her story. She was adopted and was returned at age 4 to her birthparents. Yes, a little longer than Sierra. BUT it has had horrible effects on her. She always was waiting for her mom to come and get her. Now as an adult she has problems trusting people. When she was old enough she sought out her adoptive parents. And they now get to have the relationship that was taken away. Anyway, stories like these are just awful!!! How blessed I am!!