suebee
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Posts posted by suebee
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I'm in!!
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I'm proud of you too!! Together you and I will educate all of North MS okay?!!
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Wow Bill and Tara...we are neighbors!! We live in OB and adopted our son through Abrazo nine years ago! We also have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who we adopted locally! Would love to meet you and journey with you through this amazing (and often difficult) process! I'll pm you my contact info if you want to get in touch!
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My niece, a college freshman, is writing a persuasive speech about open adoption for her speech class (Yes, I'm very proud she chose this topic!) She e-mailed and asked me to share some of my perspective, which I was very glad to do. I thought I would post it here as it gives a brief summary of why we chose open adoption for our family.
Both of our adoptions are open meaning that we have regular contact with their birth families through pictures, letters, e-mails, phone calls and visits. We believe that open adoption is beneficial for the child in that they can know the family they came from. That family is a part of them, and they can know who they look like, where they get certain characteristics, health history, etc. They can also ask questions directly to their birthparents (I'll abbreviate BPs) about their adoption decision. Most importantly they can know that their birth families love them. They do not have to feel like they weren't loved or wanted. They can know that their BPs were not able or ready to take care of them at that point in their life, but it's not because they didn't love them. We never wanted our children to have to wonder these things or to have their birthfamilies be a mystery. We didn't want them to have to go searching for their birth families one day. We wanted them to always know them and always have them be a part of their lives.
Open adoption is beneficial for the BPs in that they get to choose the adoptive family for their child. They also have ongoing contact to know that their child is happy, healthy, and doing well. BPs don't just forget their child and move on. This is a very painful and traumatic decision that requires great love and courage. While seeing their child with his/her new parents may open some wounds, most BPs share that it is helpful for them to have a relationship with their child and to see for themselves that their child is doing well.
As for the adoptive parents, open adoption helps us to raise our child as a whole person, knowing all aspects of their story and history. It helps us to understand and appreciate them and the unique characteristics they have because of the family they came from. We enjoy the friendship we have with their BPs, and are grateful to them for the choices they made. It does not make us feel any less of a parent to our child. Our kid's BPs don't tell us how to raise them, they don't correct or discipline our kids, they don't "interfere" in our lives. They chose us and entrusted us to be the parents. Knowing them takes away the mystery, the secrecy and sometimes fear that can accompany a closed adoption.
Our children are not confused about who their "real" parents are. (I don't even like the words "real" because in a sense, we--parents and BPs--are all real. We are not imaginary! And both sets of parents are important in who the child is and becomes) But as far as knowing who Mommy and Daddy are, they are not confused. As they grow, they are able understand the roles and relationships of lots of people in their lives....grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, and BPs...and no one relationship takes away from the other. Also, they are able to love and receive love from lots of people. No one can have too many people who love them, right?!
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Congratulations on the birth of your precious son! Sending loving thoughts and prayers to his first mom...may she find peace and may your relationship continue to bloom.
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Why didn't God allow her to finish her journey...don't ever tell me that life is fair....
I am so sad to hear this news, and my heart aches for you and Emily. You are so right...life is not fair. There are so many, many things that we will never understand in this life. While we may not understand why, we can trust God and cry out to Him in our pain. I'm praying that God will give you and Shelley's family peace and comfort as you mourn the loss of a special woman.
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Bumping this up...
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Can't wait to hear more!! The new family (including birthmom) are in my prayers.
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Patty,
My heart breaks for you. Reading your post really hits home (I am 43). Life is so fragile. I can only begin to imagine your and Rebecca's loss and grief. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Susan
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Melissa,
I have both these books and many others that you are welcome to borrow. Don't think I could get them to you before your trip, but could certainly try to meet up with at some point later.
Susan
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Thanks for the information, Elizabeth!
Andrea, I will email you - Maybe we could set up a time to talk on the phone so you don't have to type everything
Every time one of us gets on the laptop, this is what happens!Erin
Erin,
My two-and-half year old daughter does the same thing!!
Susan
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What an amazing Christmas blessing!! Congrats Brent and Lynn. Also, remembering in prayer your son's birthmother.
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Me too! In spite of her setbacks, Rebecca has always been an encouragement to others on their journey to parenthood. I'm praying that her journey is smooth sailing these days.
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Opps...apparently I wasn't supposed to use the letters BP for birthmom. Sorry about that. I can't find the edit option, so I'll just put it out there. Really hadn't thought of that one before.
Its a little ironic that a mistake like that would happen on this thread. Oh, keeps me humble.
It's okay Jill...we're all still learning!
I actually had an older lady I've known for years through church ask me that same question in front of my son one day when I ran into her at Costco!!
:o It's been several years ago, and I don't think he heard her, but I said pretty much what you said, and then I lowered my voice and asked her to please think before she asked a question like that in front of my son again. -
Amanda,
That is awesome. I'm very excited for you and will pray that a relationship develops.
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How great is our God, and how faithful in the answering of our prayers! Bless all who wait on Him and trust in His plan for their lives.
So true! Congratulations Andy and Jill! Rejoicing with you that your faith is now sight!
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My heart is soaring!! Congratulations Ric and Teresa! I am so excited and praising God for the wonderful miracle in your life! Praying also for his first family.
Warning: I can not wait until the Memphis reunion to hold your little one. He may not want to snuggle by then!
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Congratulations Mark and Erin!! Thankful for many answered prayers. Continued prayers for your daughter as she grows and for her first family.
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In talking with some forum buddies, I was reminded of instances where Abrazo has gone the extra mile. We all know adoption is not a 9 to 5 job, but the Abrazo chicks seem to work round the clock. And once you adopt or place with Abrazo, you are not just a client, you are family.
Are they perfect? no. Will you experience frustration in your journey? yes. But they are experienced, and they know what they are doing. They have a wealth of compassion for moms (and dads) who make the choice to place. And, though it may not be welcome at the time, they have a great deal of wisdom and experience to offer those who are hoping to adopt.
Here is a place to "toot their horn" and share your experiences of when Abrazo has gone the extra mile with you in your journey.
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My heart breaks for this family and the little boy they shared. I'm so sad for them. May the God of comfort and peace be near to them in their devastating grief.
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From the book "The Shack" by William Young... a quote attributed to that novel's version of God, which may help soothe the souls of those struggling with various adoption losses:
"Just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn’t mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don’t ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I needed it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn’t depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."
That was one of my favorite quotes out of The Shack as well.
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The Yetties are on a roll!! Congratulations to the newest family and special prayers for this little girl's first momma.
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Welcome home Grace Ellen.
Arrival: 10:25pm on Thursday, July 23, 2009
Weight: 5 pounds 7 ounces
Length: 18 inches
"Faith is the evidence of things unseen..." reads Hebrew 11:1. Here's to those who have the faith to wait on God's plan and the grace to know God's plan is always best.How ironic that you would post this. Once Grace was finally released from the hospital today (after some delays) we were driving to the hotel and we passed a Luthern Church...the sign out front read "God's timing is perfect." That it is...that it is.
Be still my heart...Grace and Lydia share the same birthday! Just two years apart. What an awesome day! I love reading your story on the 3 X 5 thread and can "hear" you sharing it.
Also, congrats to Nicole, Raj, and Rocco!
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I got chills reading this particular birth announcement. I know all Abrazo families are deserving of this kind of blessing, but it does my heart oh so good to know that the incredible and wonderful Steadman family has grown to include a precious baby girl. I know she will be doted on by her big sisters and big brother Gavin...not to mention mom, dad, and grandparents. Special prayers for the loving momma who chose one of the best of the best families for her daughter and herself! I can not wait to meet this little darling in person!!
Celebrity Adoptions
in Looking to Adopt
Posted
From the article... Bullock tells People in the exclusive interview -- hitting newsstands on Friday, April 30 (we got an advance copy) -- that she hasn't had two full nights of sleep since the baby was born.
"You wake up, you feed, you burp, you play, you do laundry," she says in the interview.
I took this to mean that she was very involved in raising her new son. Of course, that is assuming I believe everything I read.