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suebee

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Posts posted by suebee

  2. Honoring Birth Siblings

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    This week Joshua is at a Christian camp with a group from our church. One of the cool things is that in talking with his bio-sister a few months ago, he discovered that she was going to the same camp with her church...just during different weeks. They haven't met in person yet (hope to remedy that soon...long story, but she just found out about Joshua about 8 months ago), and I'm not sure at camp away from their parents would be the best way/time to meet, but I think it is great that they will have this experience in common and be able to relate when they tell each other about what they did at camp!

  6. The Adoption Tax Credit

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Not trying to be political either, but to me there is a difference in a tax credit (which I agree does result in lower tax revenues) and tax-payer funded.

    We as taxpayers collectively fund the government and all it's spending. So if we invest our tax dollars into the govt and the govt spends some of it in adoption credits. Then the adoption credit is taxpayer funded. Unless there are donations being made from outside parties or organizations to fund that credit, it's taxpayer money.

    Not to beat a dead horse, but if I buy an energy-efficient hot water heater and then take a tax credit for it, is my hot water heater tax-payer funded?

    The adoption tax credit is only up to a certain amount of adoption expenses, and (until this year, from what I understand) cannot exceed your tax liability but can be carried over for subsequent years, so it's not affecting anyone else's taxes but my own. The government is not spending part of someone else's money to give me a tax credit, they are simply returning some of my tax money to me. I understand this results in decreased revenue, but so does energy tax credits, child tax credits, and earned income tax credits.

    I "get" what you're saying Suzi, I just don't see it the same way. But you are the CPA and I'm not! :)

    Elizabeth, feel free to move this discussion since it has absolutely nothing to do with what's going on back at the ranch! ;)

    • Upvote 1

  7. The Adoption Tax Credit

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    (Also, I just love the comment from the dork who said that tax payers shouldn't have to fund our adoptions!! What?! I don't think a credit for expenses we paid is the same as tax-payer funded, or am I missing something?)

    It's actually true. Yes we pay adoption fees but we pay them to abrazo (or others). Then the federal govt gives us back about $10k in income tax credits. No special interest group is funding adoption credits for the government. Whatever amount income tax revenues would have been are lower because of the adoption credit.

    I don't take political stances on all of this just trying to clear up confusion.

    Let's also remember that the IRS did not cause the change in the adoption credit. Law makers made that change VERY late in year last year and the IRS is juggling as best it can given such late notice. I would encourage everyone to share their frustration with their lawmakers.

    I am happy to vent about IRS weaknesses anyday but in this case I believe it is not their fault.

    Not trying to be political either, but to me there is a difference in a tax credit (which I agree does result in lower tax revenues) and tax-payer funded.

    Good point about lawmakers vs. IRS being responsible for this mess.

  8. The Adoption Tax Credit

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    It is very frustrating! We are waiting to get the last of our credit from finalizing our daughter's adoption in 2008, and have never had problems until this year. I understand the IRS is being diligent, but why not request the information they need on the front end, so that these refunds are not delayed. Guess that would be too efficient for our FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!

    (Also, I just love the comment from the dork who said that tax payers shouldn't have to fund our adoptions!! What?! I don't think a credit for expenses we paid is the same as tax-payer funded, or am I missing something?)

  19. Who Birthmoms Are

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    I don't think this is a very good post about "Who Birthmothers Are" Yes this woman placed children for adoption but I don't think it'd be appropriate to have a section titled "Who Adoptive Parents Are" and put articles about adoptive parents abusing and killing their adopted children. In fact that kind of story under a title claiming to represent the people in it just serves to scare other people about the person in the topic. Its insinuating that all birthmothers are like this one, because this is WHO birthmothers ARE

    Excellent point Kristal.

  20. Celebrity Adoptions

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Just read that Neil Patrick Harris( Doogie Howser, How I Met Your Mother) and long time partner David Burtka are expected to adopt twins this fall!!!

    He's gay??????? Really? He was my childhood DREAM watching all those doogie howser episodes. I feel like I just learned about Santa.

    *deep exhale*

    Too funny! How I Met Your Mother is totally misleading (or ironic) too because he plays a huge womanizer. Believe it or not someone had to tell me that Elton John was gay - and George Michael for that matter - and I was twenty-something!

    Okay Elton John and George Michael I knew...but Doogie! Had no idea.

    That's funny!! I just assumed everybody knew he was gay. Sorry for the shock!! And I may need to clear up something,I don't actually know if they are adopting. After re reading the article it just says they are "expecting" twins. So maybe somebody they know has been artificially inseminated or something of that nature. Not sure. Either way, congrats to them.

    The article I just read said "via surrogate."

  21. Age of adoptive parents

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    This weekend, my boys and I were having one of those "heavy, deep and real" car conversations... I don't know what got them on the topic, but somehow, the fact that their parents' cumulative age is 102 led them to ask what they should do if they're ever at one parent's house or the other and they can't wake the respective parent up in the morning?! It got me thinking... while we had the "if anything ever happens to Mommy or Daddy, you call 911 and tell them your name and age and address and they'll make sure help gets to you" talk... I started wondering if there are certain life lessons that more "mature" parents need to focus on, since there's a reasonable likelihood that our kids could be parent-less by the time they reach our age?

    Wow, Elizabeth, I didn't realize your ex was 73! I mean...if you're just 29! ;)

    Not trying to make light of a very important topic...thanks for bringing this up as I have never thought about teaching Joshua what to do if something were to be wrong with one of us and the other parent isn't around.

  22. Positive Adoption Language

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I could really use some help from my forum family here. Our lead elder just returned this past week from China with the daughter they have been waiting for. He keeps making posts on fb referrng to her as his adopted daughter and my blood pressure rises every time and it grates on my last nerve.

    How can I best approach him online about this? They are working on bonding with her right now, so they are at home and we won't be seeing them for a few more weeks. I spoke to the church last weekend and printed up a pamphlet of positive adoption language with definitions for common terms.

    Maybe once they bond, he will drop the "adopted" part. I would probably give them some time and then if he still says it, I would say something.

    Just curious, do they have other children?

  23. Celebrity Adoptions

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I guess I am missing something here. For most of us, whether we verbalize it or not, adoption was our last option to become parents. Trying naturally, using fertility treatments, and then following the adoption path, they are all avenues to have children. Isn't that clearly what our hearts desire? It does sound a bit crude to put it so bluntly, but that seems to be it in a nutshell.

    Well, yes and no. We did try to achieve a pregnancy on our own and then did some fertility treatments, but once IUI, one surgery, and medication didn’t result in a pregnancy, we started looking at adoption. I got so excited about adoption that it was not difficult at all to realize that adoption was what we wanted to pursue. Not more IUIs, not IVF, not additional surgeries, not surrogacy. At the point we started our paperwork to adopt Azucena, I was so gung-ho about the prospect of adopting a baby that I would have actually been disappointed to find myself pregnant. I feel the same way now. If I were given the choice of “What would you rather have happen: a. You get a call from your doctor saying you are pregnant, or b. You get a call from your adoption agency saying you’ve been matched with a birth parent," I would absolutely choose B!

    Well said, Erin, I agree!!

  24. Baby Announcements 2010

    in New Arrivals

    Posted

    Good thing I haven't put my mascara on yet this morning! This announcement and then Kenny's touching words on his blog...not to mention the photos that capture the joy and awe of Carter's new parents...have me wiping tears of joy and gratitude from my eyes! I am remembering the hopeful couple who drove many miles to meet new friends in Memphis this past August, heard reassurance of "this time next year," and then dared to believe! I am so happy for you guys and so grateful to God who does all things well! I'll be among the Abrazo aunties standing in line to meet Carter at this year's picnic! :wub: :wub:

  25. Celebrity Adoptions

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I wonder if Sandra has an open adoption? I think the birthparents should decide if the adoption should be finalized.

    If their rights are already terminated, then legally they have no grounds to protest the finalization. If an exception were made, it could set a precedence and open a can of worms!

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