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TeyandTy's Mom

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Posts posted by TeyandTy's Mom

  2. Open Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I could'nt agree with you all more.

    Donna,

    You made a good point...respecting the boundaries until either party is ready is great.

    I hope my post hasn't gotten confused. I totally and completly respect my sons birthparents. I never want to "invade" their life or bring stress. I just want them to know our sons. I checked with Abrazo on several occassions to help me proceed in contacting them. Because I did not want to upset them. I wanted to repect their boundaries. I know that time changes things. I just want to always make sure I live up to my word and that is to be open. Both of my sons birthparents are wonderful people...who have been dealt a tough hand. I hope that they are able to know that we love them and want them to be in our lives.....when they are ready.

    Sabrina

  3. Open Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted · Edited by TeyandTy's Mom

    Karen,

    You are so right!

    Absolutely! I definately think that having an open heart is where it all starts. I was just saying that I am "confused" as to why birthparents or adoptive parents who go through an agency known for their openess...would choose not to be so open.

    I ABSOLUTELY imagined the day when my boys would be able to hold their birthparents hands and reunite. I just have'nt alowed myself to think that it would'nt happen. I was'nt prepared for the time it would take...and it still taking.

    I am willing to wait and when the time comes...I'm ready!

    I guess I compare it to my remarrying somday.."If you are going to marry me...you have to marry my boys...or no marriage"...The same thing goes for when I adopted my guys....I embraced the birthfamilies immediate and exteneded!

    I don't see how it would work any other way!

    Sabrina

  4. Open Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    You can't marry your spouse without becoming related to his family, whether or not you want them coming for dinner every Sunday. Don't adopt any child whose birthfamily you cannot also embrace-- in spirit if not in practice.

    To reject your child's kinfolk is to deny your child's beginnings, and how can any happy ending come of  that?

    48039[/snapback]

    Elizabeth,

    I could'nt agree more. I think when you come to adopt through Abrazo you have to have some understanding of what open adoption is. I can't imagine turning away from either of my sons birthparents. Were it not for them I would not be a mother.

    I do however, have a little different twist on this. I went into adoption with the hopes of building a relationship with the birthparents of my boys. I have tried to stay connected ...but, it is not always easy. We do live a great distance apart. I would like to stay in touch and build an open relationship. It seems that the birthparents of my boys who went with an open adoption agency...are not very open. I am not saying that they are wrong or bad in any way. I am just confused as to why they are choosing to not stay open.

    My location has not changed since placement...so, hopefully they will contact us when they are ready. I did meet with Tysons BP before camp..which is wonderful! I am anxiously waiting for more.

    Sabrina

  13. Nursery Notes

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted · Edited by TeyandTy's Mom

    How sad sad.gif . I hate the thought of kids needing a family but, there are none to be found. Yet, there are so many people who want children huh.gif . That is really confusing to me. I DON'T get it!

    Sabrina

  18. Soul / Sole Support

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Thanks ladies!

    I had a great evening. I actually went down the street and had Mexican for dinner. It was amazing how enjoyable a dinner can be without interruptions. I had to take my book there because it started raining. I loved it! I came home and listened to Micheal Buble and Chris Bodi while I continued reading....ahhhhhh ! I hate to admit it but, I almost did'nt know what to do with myself without my guys here. I am not good with alone time..albeit short. I do however, think I might be able to get used to a little more of it!

    Sign me relaxed,

    Sabrina

  19. Soul / Sole Support

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I am sooooo excited ! I found a guy to paint my house (very reasonable) and he is almost finished. I have been on Spring Break this week. So, I haven'nt really taken a "break" ...I have been a painting machine. I painted my kitichen cabinets that were white and needed a facelift and replaced all the handles. I painted a bay window trim that was installed...two years ago but, never painted (I know..slow). I painted my front door RED and I love it! I even painted my mailbox! I also install new exterior porch lights on the front and back...and yes they work! Go figure!

    My kids are both off to the circus with a friend. She and her mom are going to take them. I am gonna sit on my deck light a few candles and read a book!

    Things are looking up!

    Sabrina

  21. Soul / Sole Support

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Jean,

    I am flattered first of all. But, I think that we all try to do everything to make our kids happy, healthy, and overall good people. I don't want to ever portray that I am the perfect mom....just a good mom is fine by me.My boys think more highly of me than I do myself. In my own way I think that is validation that I am doing o.k. biggrin.gif I am so very proud of my guys. I think that single or not we all get overwhelmed. I think that it often hard to express that.

    To everyone who responded to my post THANK YOU!

    Teyler is with grandma this morning so, Tyson and I have been busy little bees. we got the back deck cleaned and ready to enjoy! I have gotten to the point in my life that I allow myself only a short time to be "down". I am ready to get back on the horse and get things done. tongue.gif The pitty party was yesterday and the"let's enjoy spring break party is today for me and my boys.

    I am so glad to have friends on the forum. This is truly my place to come no matter what the emotions..happy, sad, frustrated, elated, curious...you name it.

    Thank you Thank you Thank you

    Sabrina

  22. Soul / Sole Support

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I am sitting here on a Thursday evening....drained. I, as a teacher, should be thrilled. We started our spring break today! I cannot stop thinking of the things I have to get done before I go back to school the 24th. I get sooooo overwhelmed by what needs to be done. I was at a friends house after school for a yeah it's spring break little get together. I had to leave because of the sitter situation. I find myself getting a little jealous of my friends who have husbands, older children, or even ex-husbands for that matter( the kids at least get to go there on alternate weekends.) I am soo limited as to what I get to do. I often feel guilty even saying those things. I just think that people will look at me and say "you asked for it!" and I did. I guess you can say that 99% of the time I am perfectly happy with how my life has turned out. Today must be that 1% that is getting me down. Often it's the little things that get me down... for example...I went to mow my grass...the lawnmower was broken, I need to hang a rack in my garage to put bikes on ...but, I can't figure out how...I need the exterior of my house painted....but, I can 't do that(the women in the neighborhood have their husbands to do that). I know it sounds like I am whinning.....I guess I am. I am just tired and completely overwhelmed today. It is tough being a single mom. OK I said it.....but, do I have the right to complain? I choose to be a single mom. I love my boys more than you know.....I am just saying that I am overwhelmed a little these days.

    Sabrina

  24. Soul / Sole Support

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Last night as I was driving toward home, the four year old passenger riding in the backseat piped up and made this statement/question.  "Nathan doesn't have a dad.?"  Now, it really caught me off guard.  This little guy has known Nathan and I since Nathan was 8 months old.  Nathan has been to his house many times and spends the night there occassionally.  This was the first time Keith was coming to spend the night with Nathan and I at our house.  This is the first time anyone has asked anything about Nathan.  Up to this point I thought I had great answers and thought I was prepared.  However, when it happened, I felt like I didn't handle it very well.  How do the rest of you handle this question, or have you not heard it?

    36804[/snapback]

    Jean,

    That is a tough one that I have heard a few times. I never know exactly how to respond. My guys have taken it upon themselves to tell others that their daddy is in heaven. They have seen the wedding picture of Danny and I and just asume he's daddy.I have tried to explain to them that he is not their dad....but, they won't buy it. I guess when they get a little bit older then it will be easier to explain.

    Sabrina

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