Steven&Melissa
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Posts posted by Steven&Melissa
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Thanks guys for all your help. I'll look into your suggestions. Melissa, I'm originally from Memphis! I left in 1996 but go back often to see the fam. My parents are still there. Fun to meet someone on here from my hometown.
There are a ton of us on here! I was so surprised at what a large network of Abrazo families there are in Memphis, but you'll come to see quite a few of us. I can't advocate enough for finding people on the forum who live in the same town... it's already been invaluable to us in so many ways!
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Hello. First time forum poster here! I just got back from the post office where I mailed in our application to Abrazo!
I live in Austin and am looking for someone to do our home study. Any recommendations?
Thanks.
Hi, Leigh! Welcome to the forum! We're pretty new here as well, but have found so much useful information under all of the various different topics. We live in Memphis, TN and weren't sure what social worker to use, so I found the Memphis support group here on the forum (under United States of Adoption thread) and asked that group directly. They were able to give me lots of good suggestions. Not sure if there's one for Austin or that area, but you should check and get to know other families in your town!
Here's an old post that was made with a similar suggestion, plus a little more:
I would ask Abrazo if they knew of anyone in your area. Also, do you know anyone in your area that has adopted? You might could get a good idea of a great social worker in your area by asking around. Word of mouth is great for leading you to a great social worker or keeping you from hiring a sorry one. I would make sure that you know what Abrazo's standards are concerning soc. workers before hiring one.
Hope this helps. Keep us posted on your journey!
Elaine
Good luck!
Melissa
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Thank you all for your invitation to join in. I have wanted to post for some time but thought I would be sure Melissa and Steven were chosen for the oreintation first (didn't want to be presumptuous). I sometimes feel like I did as a child when I would ease drop on other people's conversations on my grandparents partyline (guess most of you don't even know what that is). I have learned so very much about open adoption from your incredible posts. I find myself going back to read your previous posts so I can know "the whole story". I have begun praying for many of you and for the birth families. I love to read the encouraging words you have for one another and feel so blessed to know that Melissa and Steven will have such a wonderful support system in place if they are chosen. Thank you all so much for allowing me to learn from you.
Mimi
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Come on mom!
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I'm happy to know this is here & lit a candle. Sometimes it's just nice to write a prayer out and take a second to reflect.
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Congratulations! Baby Luke is beautiful!
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Given that an original homestudy is valid in Texas for only six months from the date of the interviews... I would suggest that you hold off on doing any addendum(s) necessary to bring it into compliance with Texas standards until after attending orientation.
Thanks for your guidance, Elizabeth! I've contacted our social worker and asked if we can reschedule after orientation.
-Melissa
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We sent in our application on Friday, March 12! I went ahead and filled out the orientation paperwork and sent in payment with the application, just out of wishful thinking that we could possibly get in for the April 30-May 1 orientation!
I know adoption is a leap of faith in many ways, but we're trying to be as budget-conscious as possible. I wanted to have our currently approved TN home study updated for TX standards so that we were "good to go" when we went to orientation. We're working with a local social worker and she can squeeze us in on the afternoon of March 29 (my hubby's b'day!)... I'm just wondering if it's too presumptive for us to go forward with this - knowing we might not get into the April/May orientation - and knowing the home study has to be updated every 6 months.
Advice?
Thanks!
Melissa
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Bumping this up...
Thanks for bumping this up, Susan! It gives some great ideas about how to appropriately go about saving a little extra money to put toward the adoption costs.
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We made a lot of progress last week! Met with the wonderful suebee for dinner Thursday and then mailed off our completed application Friday. USPS.com shows that the package should arrive at the Abrazo offices today! I also contacted a local social worker to update our TN home study for TX standards and should hear back from her tomorrow about scheduling and cost. We worked on draft 1 of our profile over the weekend and it's coming together so well! Fingers crossed that an orientation invitation comes and that we'll have a chance to get feedback on this profile and use that TX-updated home study!
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Erin - I'm so glad you got your application, too! Hope your time at jury duty is passing quickly with essay questions to answer during downtime!
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Wahoo! We received our application in the mail today and are climbing this mountain of paperwork tonight. So excited to move on to the next step toward growing our family!
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Melissa,
I have both these books and many others that you are welcome to borrow. Don't think I could get them to you before your trip, but could certainly try to meet up with at some point later.
Susan
Thanks, Susan! I ended up zoning out for the 5-hour car trip, so I doubt I would have successfully read (and retained) anything anyway! My folks live in OB, too, so I'll PM you when I get back home and meet up with you whenever it's convenient for you. I REALLY appreciate you letting me borrow these books! Excited to meet you as well.
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We have a road trip coming up to celebrate my niece's 1st birthday and I want to make the most of my time in the car (and my time waiting to hear back about our inquiry!) by downloading a book about open adoptions to read.
Does anyone have any suggestions for what book helped them the most?
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Did anyone begin learning how to speak Spanish after choosing Hispanic or Hispanic/other racial/cultural backgrounds as one of your preferences? I spoke nearly fluent Spanish in high school and although I can still communicate somewhat, there's a lot of room for improvement. Now would be a good time to start learning, before the whirlwind of everything else starts.
I know this is a benefit in teaching a child as they're growing up, but has it also proven beneficial in speaking with expectant parents during the match phase and beyond?
Thanks for your insight!
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how you would respond if you gave birth to a child with the same ailment, and further explore whether your ability to "handle it" might differ-- and why?
This question is one of the reasons reading the forum is beneficial to me during the stage of our adoption journey that we're in right now. To be honest, my initial response is different than my response after thinking about this question. I knew there were things we were open to in terms of alcohol, drugs, and minor challenges, but when I think about this question, those things almost seem like I've been asked "what is your preference?" or "what is optimal?" in an adoptive situation, not what could we "handle."
It's a tough question all-around to know how anyone might handle the situation if presented with it... because most times in life, what we think we want most definitely isn't always what God urges our heart to do.
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Does anybody know if it is necessary to own your home vs. renting? My husband and I currently own our home in a suburb, but he got a new job in the city. We were thinking of putting our house on the market so we could move closer to his job and therefore he would get home earlier. I just have fears that renting wouldn't be accepted by the agency or the birth mothers? I have no idea???
Any advice would be very helpful!!
Everleigh - I'm definitely not an expert on this, but I can tell you that our church hosts classes for prospective foster families and I remember hearing that foster families are not required to be home owners - they are just expected to have sufficient space for a baby (when it comes to rent vs. own). I would have to assume this also applies to most (if not all) adoptions. I can also tell you many agencies allow families who rent to adopt, but I can't be sure Abrazo is on that list. You could definitely call the Abrazo offices and just ask - then you'd know for sure!
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Hi, everyone! My husband Steven and I live in Memphis, TN and mailed in our inquiry on 2/18, so we're just waiting patiently to see if we can move on to the next step! We're learning so much from the forum in the meantime and are so thankful that everyone is so open so that we have the opportunity to learn while we wait.
Celebrity Adoptions
in Looking to Adopt
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I think it's saddest that she initially agreed to adopt this girl's baby but says the only reason she initially agreed was so that the girl would stop "freaking out." I'm sure she was "freaking out" when she realized what was really going on. Hopefully she realizes what a blessing it was to be matched with an agency - hopefully a reputable one - that will take good care of her.
Also sad is that Tila has no time for an infant, but is in the midst of adopting a 2-year-old. I hate to think she doesn't realize what set of challenges that, too, will bring and that it will require a huge amount of understanding, attention, and dedication on her part - and time, too! All children require time!