Steven&Melissa
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Posts posted by Steven&Melissa
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And so thankful for the time you've had with his birth family during these first few days! Can't wait to see the photos that result from the the time you spend together.
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Big congrats to Jocelyn and Scott on the "meant to be" birth of baby girl Landon! Can't wait to see photos when you're able to put them up! Hope you're enjoying these first days and grabbing a little sleep here and there!
Not sure where "baby girl" came from, but let me correct myself!! Baby BOY Landon!! Looooove the new photo!!!
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Big congrats to Jocelyn and Scott on the "meant to be" birth of baby girl Landon! Can't wait to see photos when you're able to put them up! Hope you're enjoying these first days and grabbing a little sleep here and there!
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Hi everyone! I've been reading the forums but this is my first post. We completed our application a few weeks back and are hoping to attend the June/July orientation weekend. We're very excited to begin this journey and look forward to getting to know all of you!
Sue and Nate
Welcome Sue/Nate and Allie/Ross! It's exciting to see new families on the forum before orientation! You'll find so much information here and support, too. Can't wait to follow your journies and be sure to ask questions along the way!!
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That's fantastic, Melissa! Did you guys advertise in the paper or just put up signs? I'm aiming for a yard sale in two weeks and am trying to decide whether the newspaper ad is worth it.
I can see how a newspaper ad would have possibly brought people out from other parts of town, making an even bigger profit. It depends on the cost, but I bet the ROI is there. I'm going to look into it for our next one.
We did a Craigslist ad (only putting the intersection, not the address) and a Backpage ad (Memphis Flyer) as well, but they were only online ads - we didn't pay for print in the Flyer either. Lots of people said they saw our Craigslist ad. I made sure to make a short list of the types of things we'd have available.
We did have a posterboard up in the front yard w/ balloons on it that said "Adoption Fundraiser," which is what I think sparked so much conversation from people. People commented on 2 things: the bright signs that made them want to stop and the organization of the sale, which made it much easier for them to find things and buy more. We also haggled a lot, so people were coming back multiple times to buy more!!
Erin - good luck with your sale!! It's hard work, but such a great payoff.
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A few months ago, we wrote a note in our neighbhorhood newsletter and sent out a short email to some close friends letting them know that we'd be having a yard sale to help push fundraising efforts for our adoption and offered to pick up/haul off anything they might have after spring cleaning that they were going to donate. Instead of moving boxes, packing up the car, and unloading at the center, we offered to do all of that for them.
We had neighbors contact us who we'd never met before (a great way to meet your neighbors!!), tons of friends show an outpouring of support, and even people who passed along our note to friends-of-friends.
Everything we were given was immediately cleaned up, priced, and sorted. We filled up our guest room and garage until they were overflowing and finally made bright signs and posted them all over our neighborhood Friday night. Saturday morning, we woke up and started the sale at 7am. Our front yard, driveway, and entire back yard were FULL of organized sections of items for sale. We expected to close up shop at 1pm, but it was 3:45 before light rain started and we finally had to move the remaining items indoors.
It was a great opportunity to let our neighbors know there would soon be a new baby on the block AND a wonderful opportunity to talk about open adoption. It seems everyone knows someone who's been adopted. We were careful not to lead people to believe we were "saving" a baby, nor was this a "cause." This was just us - building a family through adoption and saving every penny we could to make it possible.
At the end of the day, we did the final $ count. We raised over $1,600 and still have enough items leftover - and enough people who gave us their info so that we could pick up their spring cleaning left-overs - that we can have yet another sale in a couple of weeks.
Consider the fundraising yard sale folks! It's a lot of work and your house will be a mess for a while, but if you make tons of colorful signs to bring in the biggest crowd and organize your sale well, you'll see the money roll in!! I couldn't be happier we buckled down and did this!!
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...and then Melissa had mentioned getting sample profiles at some point - which I really need because I feel creatively stumped.
That's right!
You'll get a few samples, but you'll also notice quite a few forum members are happy to help out an dshow you their full profiles so that you can see a big variety.The biggest take-away for us was: more/bigger photos, less writing. We came from an agency that stressed putting a lot of info in the profile because you wouldn't necessarily get a chance to meet with or talk to birthmoms. Here, they get a "feeling" about you, or an initial impression, from your profile, which sparks interest in wanting to actually speak to you and get to know you better. So, more visuals, less wording!
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Bruce and Andi - LOVE the new photo in the gallery! Your sweet girl is so beautiful and the two of you are just beaming! Can't wait to see more as she grows up.
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At the point we started our paperwork to adopt Azucena, I was so gung-ho about the prospect of adopting a baby that I would have actually been disappointed to find myself pregnant. I feel the same way now. If I were given the choice of “What would you rather have happen: a. You get a call from your doctor saying you are pregnant, or b. You get a call from your adoption agency saying you’ve been matched with a birth parent," I would absolutely choose B!
Erin - I feel exactly the same way. Steven and I had a talk about this just the other night. We're so in love with the miracle of adoption that now we can't imagine growing our family in any other way.
I also wanted to add that for us, despite problems with fertility, adoption wasn't anything second best. True - something in my biology craved being pregnant myself and carrying a child, but my family says I started talking about wanting to adopt at the age of 12. My mom says it was God preparing my heart for the infertility that laid ahead, but who's to know? Steven and I had always said that even if we had a biological child of our own some day, we'd still adopt. It's always been so strong in my heart.
To be honest, I'd be more disappointed if I found out we couldn't adopt vs. how disappointed I felt when we discovered I couldn't get pregnant!
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Rihanna Fears Childbirth, Is Contemplating Adopting
"Even if I have to adopt, I'll be a mom someday"...?!?!?!
Ugh. I feel more like :angry:.
I just hate to hear people describe adoption as a "last ditch" or "even if I have to..." situation.
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This flurry of matches and pending placements is so exciting!
Congrats to all of these new families and hopefully the June orientation will be filled with couples who fit the needs that Abrazo has been noticing so that every expectant family can match with a family that is everything they hope for.
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On the photos of your home I think it says it wants photos of your whole home - I sent one photo of every room and one shot of each outside angle as well. I think that is how another member of our orientation group interpreted it as well as I remember her talking about cleaning as she went.
Good luck!
That's right... we took a photo of every room in our house (just 1 photo - not every angle) and that included things like the bathroom and the breakfast nook. I think we also included a shot from the front (wide) and one of the back yard. I included (I think) 4 shots of us together and 1 photo of us individually.
And yes, there was an orientation sheet in the application that we filled out (it asked for your preference of dates) and also asked for your size T-shirt. We sent that in with payment all at once. Not sure if it was intentional that they left it out this go-around (still determining exact dates, maybe?) but like Suzi said, Angela always knows!
Congrats on accomplishing so much so fast! So many will attest that it's not "if," but "when!" and I know it's exciting to be on your way!!
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Sending warm thoughts and huge congratulations your way, Kenny and Michelle!! Can't wait to see photos of this newest addition and Sophia as a doting big sister. Hope you're enjoying these wonderful first days.
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Hi! We mailed our inquiry pre-app just yesterday! I am loving the forums...answers to so many questions...and questions I didn't even know I had if that makes any sense!
) Looking forward to finding out more. Good Luck to everyone!Hi, Allie & Ross!
So glad you're on the forum! There's so much to learn and I can completely understand about having questions answered that you didn't even know you had yet! I found myself thinking about issues I didn't even know existed when I first got on the forum a few months ago and it's been a tremendous help to us as we spend this pre-baby time educating ourselves and thinking about different scenarios.
Can't wait to follow your journey, so keep updates coming and let us know if you have questions!
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Have fun this weekend! You'll have to move on over to the application thread now instead of inquiry - you're past this step now!! That was FAST! 1 week? I think ours was almost 4 weeks to the day. What a great surprise!
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Melissa, did you use an on-line publishing site to do yours digitally? I know you can use Snapfish and Kodak.com too. But I also don't want to over-do it:)
Abrazo profiles are different than any other profiles we've seen at other adoption agencies. For our other agency, we used Shutterfly and that worked out great because we had to provide a hardcover/bound book for them to show to expectant parents at their office. At Abrazo, they'll want 10 color copies of your profile, not bound, just stapled. I am comfortable with PowerPoint, so that's what I used. I read that another couple on here used Word. I'm sure some others use Adobe Illustrator or some other multi-page layout program. Your call... but I say you use what you're good at laying things out in. If you love paper and glue and that feels good to you, I say you do what you love! I think it comes through in the final product.
Do reference letters need to address specific questions? And can they comment on both of us - since our friends know both of us. Or did you go with friends and then someone like your employer or co-worker too?
Concerning reference letters, Steven and I were just talking about what we did for these and he ran and grabbed the copies I made of what we submitted so that I was sure to tell you correctly! Okay... 3 non-related personal references who know you well as a couple/family - whomever that is who spends time with you both and can speak to that. They should be able to speak to both of you and refer you as suitable parents in an honest referral (no specific questions).
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Here are another couple of things that I found mentioned beforehand scattered around the forum, so I'll list them here all in one spot!: doctor's letter stating infertility in no uncertain terms, "blueprint"/floor plan of your home (drawn is fine), photo of each room + exterior of your home, proof of insurance for yourselves + an adopted child valid at time of birth, copy of your tax return for the previous year or financial statement.
The rest of it mostly involves copies of documents, signing paperwork, and answering questions. Reading on the forum/in books will mentally prepare you for the questions! I read tons on the forum and some in books - Steven didn't hang out on the forum much, but easily read twice the amount of books as me. All of that knowledge has become more and more important with every step of the journey!
Hope this helps!
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Melissa, you guys live in TN right? I grew up in Nashville - well Franklin area. My husband is from western KY - Henderson. So we drive through Memphis at least once a year. I enjoyed the pics you posted recently - those kids are adorable!
Any advice on things I can be doing while I wait to hear back about the inquiry? We haven't contacted anyone about the home study - is this something I should wait on until I get a referral from Abrazo (if and when, fingers crossed).
Hi, Amy! You're right - we're in Memphis. There's a huge group of us here, who I found under "United States of Adoption" on the forum when I first joined. It quickly got me connected with the families in my area and is a huge help during the journey!
We were just recently in the same spot as you - trying to figure out how to be proactive while we waited to hear back from the inquiry and then the application. I wanted to go ahead and schedule my home study (ours was an update, though), too, but Elizabeth suggested we hold off since a home study is only good in TX for 6 months. By getting it completed too soon, you'll cut down on the time when it's valid and potentially spend un-needed money. We scheduled our home study (an update in our case) for 2 days after we'd return from orientation. That way, if something changed, we could just cancel and there was no harm. The ladies at Abrazo can most defintely give you the most sound advice for your particular situation, though.
One thing I'd really suggest is getting started on your profile. I worked for over 2 months on ours and (with your orienation invitation), you'll receive samples from other couples. Photos are important and you can see other couple's 1st page on the gallery. Our total profile was 6 pages with a focus on photos more than text. We did ours digitally, but I know many families handmake theirs, too. Our 1st page should go up in the gallery sometime soon, hopefully!
You can go ahead and ask for reference letters from friends, too. I believe 2 non-family references were required for both of us.
This is the time to do lots of reading, too. We were lucky enough to borrow books from another family here in Memphis, but I know there are threads on the forum that give suggested reading. You can often find them on Amazon.com for low prices when they're used.
And learn as much from the forum as you can, assess what you're comfortable with, and mentally prepare for your journey, too! Let me know if you have other questions and I'm happy to help!
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Welcome, Amy and Craig!! You're right - the forum is a wonderful place and you'll find so much support AND learn so much before you reach orientation. There are so many people with so many different experiences to learn from, so it's awesome that you've jumped in! Good luck on every upcoming step! Can't wait to read your journey!!
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It gives me chills to hear how touching this family's story is and what tremendous grief and happiness they'd experienced together. My heart goes out to this wife and children left behind after the death of their incredible father. They are certainly in my prayers.
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I was chatting with my mom on the phone the other day and she was telling me about how friends and family keep asking for updates on how our adoption journey is going. So, just like we all do, she explains a little about what's happening.
I think we're all shocked (why, though?) when we talk about adoption and someone says something baffling in their response. Typically, we either get defensive or hurt or angry... it's a range of some emotion like that. Well, I was especially proud of my mama because she said "So, I just took it as a chance to educate them. I mean, I remember when I didn't know nearly as much as I do now about adoption - especially open adoption - and my feelings have changed so much now that I'm more educated."
I was so proud!
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Hello Everyone,
We are completing the adoption application, and are feeling excited and hopeful. We are looking forward to orientation, and the next steps in our journey to become parents. We welcome any information and/or support.
God Bless,
Bill & Tara
Olive Branch, MS
Welcome Bill and Tara! You'll find so much support here on the forum - and a bunch of other Memphis-area folks! My husband and I live in Memphis and there are a bunch of other families here from the area who have provided a ton of support.
We just recently completed the application as well and just received an invitation to the orientation at the end of this month. We're happy to provide support to you as you jump each hurdle! This is such an exciting process and you'll meet some great friends here.
Take a look around the forum and find the Homesteads section. Then look under United States of Adoption and locate the "MAMS" thread. That's where you'll find the other Memphis families!
So glad you're here!
Melissa
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My sister and I are 9 years apart, so when she had her first child I was 12. My niece, Maddie, grew up more like a little sister to me than anything else and so my comfort level was always with raising a little girl. At this point in life, so many of our friends are having babies and everyone's having little boys and they're all so amazing! We've been blessed with extremely close friends-of-the-family who have 7 children - 4 boys, 3 girls. These boys have absolutely 100% stolen my heart. These days, when we get asked what we "prefer" - boy or girl - I can honestly say BOTH. Not one more than the other. They're both so special in their own ways that I hope we don't miss out on either!!!
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Well, Mama (GrandMimi!), you can feel free to post away on the forum now that there's a little assurance! We'll be at the April 30-May 1 orientation, so I hope you get on here and lend your perspective (along with Sue now, too!) with an open heart every step of the way! I'm so happy that we BOTH have the support and resources here to work through the anxious times, gain empathy through personal experiences, and celebrate together during the exciting times!
Steven and I both love you dearly!!
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Karen - you, Evan, Emily, and Jessica are most definitely in my continued prayers. Although God's plan most certainly doesn't make sense sometimes, I hope that all of Shelley's loved ones feel peace and reassurance that she'll be looking over her dear friends and family from above. (((Hugs))) to you as you grieve for this tremendous loss.
Baby Announcements 2010
in New Arrivals
Posted
Congratulations!!! Welcome to the family, Baby Drake. We can't wait to see your photo and see you grow up!!