RHSegura
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Posts posted by RHSegura
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Congratulations and welcome baby Jayden! So thankful that the brothers will be able to grow together with so much love from each part of their family. Thinking of all of you tonight!
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Congratulations to all of you on the arrival of a sweet baby boy! I hope that he grows strong and healthy and is ready to leave the hospital soon! Prayers of peace and comfort for the first family, and prayers for you as you adjust to being the parents of two!
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Wow! Congratulations! Welcome baby girl!
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Blessings to the entire new family on Christmas eve!
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Welcome baby Cecilia!! Can't wait to see a picture!
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Congratulations Grace, Nathan and Ariel! Blessings to all of you as you begin life with your new daughter and newly expanded family!
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A nice blog piece from a birthmother (guest post on Chocolate Hair/ Vanilla Care!)
Awesome post, although it left me a little sad as it sounds like she doesn't have contact with her child. Thanks for sharing, Hannah!
I know! I thought the same thing. But then I thought she wrote so well and offered a good perspective! Hopefully they will reunite some day!
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A nice blog piece from a birthmother (guest post on Chocolate Hair/ Vanilla Care!)
http://www.chocolatehairvanillacare.com/2012/11/guest-post-have-you-ever-wondered-about.html?m=1
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Congratulations to all of you on a new, healthy baby boy. Here's to a lifetime of connection and love as your families have been forever joined!! Meagan, we are thinking of you and pray that you find peace and comfort in the days ahead. Frannie and Mark, congratulations on a precious baby boy joining your family!
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Mari, it is wonderful that you are there for support for your coworker. I have often wondered why I've had to go through certain trials in my life, but it never ceases to amaze me how those very things enable me to reach people who need support and to be able to say "I've been there and know what you are going through." I;m not always happy for the hard times, but I can see how God uses it to connect us with others!
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Congratulations!!! Definitely a week to feel especially grateful!!! So glad that you found each other and are now forever connected!!
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Congratulations, Kim and Gip! I know this has been a bumpy road at times, but I am SO thankful you kept going!!! So happy you were just where you needed to be to welcome this sweet baby girl, and for her birthmom to know how loved and cherished they both will be by you! I am so thankful your arms are now filled!
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I would add to try to connect and meet as many families in person as possible that have adopted! It helps to hear different stories and perspectives! For us, meeting a sweet Abrazo boy at a picnic was what made us truly think "this could really happen!" Seeing a success story in person gives so much inspiration and hope!!!!
Also, I think meeting others (adoptees, birthparents, extended birthfamilies) and getting their view on things helps a lot too!
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Birthday wishes, to you Mari! Hope you have a beautiful day with your family!!!
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Just remember how new this all for you, Mandi and for E&J! You all care for each other so much and want to spare each other's feelings so it can all feel awkward especially at first. The great thing is the lines of communication are open and probably as your relationship grows you will look back and smile about the things that felt funny at first.
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I personally think it is something you just have to work out. I told our photographer ahead of time that we wanted an open adoption shoot so that was ok. When she came here and someone asked or whatever we usually just said it straightforward and no one seemed too shocked! If you are comfortable with the term "birthmom" or "birthmother" I do think it is the clearest term that everyone knows. But if you don't like it then maybe you guys can come up with something else! I think mentioning to people (like the photographer) that you are in an open adoption helps ease everyone and makes the person feel like they won't say the wrong thing. I like the answer that Judy mentioned!
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I agree with Melissa, too. Open adoption to me is family. Open adoption gives our son (and us) a bigger family and more people that love him. It means he gets to know all sides of his family and never question how much he is loved by each side. He gets to see who he looks like and where he gets his talents from. He gets to know his grandmas and his sisters. He gets to see his first family embrace all of us as family and us as his parents so he doesn't have to wonder if this is really what they thought was best. None of this would be possible without open adoption.
Each open adoption relationship will be different, just as each other kind of relationship is different, but I think every open adoption will allow the child/ren to benefit from knowing all sides of their family.
I love this response too
and it actually made me wonder if ya'll think that being in an open adoption and growing up looking at this big family brought together by love for love if it helps create adults that can see society as a community and not strangeers?If they have a greater sense of helping others and giving back and paying forward? i can see that happening in me already and i read how alot of ya'll are that way too so do you think that being in open adoption helps that or being in Abrazo does it? Just a random thought thanks for inspiring it Beth I agree with the above responses. I think that open adoption can mean many different things depending on the situation but at the heart of it is honesty and love. I do think that you do start to look out from yourself and see that your child can benefit not only from your family, but also from their other family! One thing that going through the adoption process has done for me is given me a lot of gratitude. I think that sense of gratitude is what makes me want to try to help others and "pay it forward." I think when the birthfamilies and adoptive families have gratitude for each other and the part we play in each other's lives then there is greater respect and committment to the child's well being. One of my biggest hopes for my boys is that they grow up never feeling competition or jealousy between families. I want them to be free to love both sides and not feel like they are going to hurt one person they love be loving another. Love definitely expands, and not divides so there is no reason for them to feel like they have to limit theirs. I think BOTH birthfamilies and adoptive families have to work hard to talk well of and respect the other family so the child feels this way.
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just a little add from the birthmom side...i have people all the time ask me how much my agency paid me/was paying me for my baby because they know someone who needs to place. I always tell them i didnt sell/am not selling my son and if your friend is planning to place because they need money they should seek counseling and prayer because it may not be the right decision for them. It's sad to think people truely believe you would only place out of money not love but that is society.It's like people asking me if i will have a baby for them because i placed that makes me mad and most of the time i honestly cant answer i just keep repeating in my head the bambie quote if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all. but boy is it hard hahaha
Mandi, it amazes me how both sides get the classless comments! I think it is smart of you to try and make them rethink if they are thinking of placing for "payment" or solely financial benefit. That is one reason we went with Abrazo - so many shady agencies wouldn't think twice before working with someone doing that and even encourage it. I couldn't live with a child coming to us that way!
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I think it is hard when people come demanding like that. We've had a few people (some who we don't even know but heard through someone that heard through someone that we adopted FAST) and want to know how to do what we did. We try to explain that it is a long process, and while our son came to us relatively quickly in terms of adoption that it was an exception and that it is not something that can be rushed or forced. I have had a few random people ask me where they can get "a little boy like Luke since he's so cute." We also had someone that asked me (their words not mine!) "where can we get a little Mexican baby like that, but we don't want to deal with birthparents?!?!" I also told them I didn't think Abrazo would be the right fit!
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I found the poem I had in mind. I had forgotten it was written by Corrie Ten Boom (not sure if you know of her, but she helped to hide Jews during the Holocaust). Here it is:
Life is But a Weaving
Corrie Ten Boom (The Tapestry Poem)
My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.
Oft' times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.
Not 'til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.
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But i dont know how to start and not feel fake.I dont know how to go from being so not faithful to being a good christian again.How do you incorporate something so fully into a life that it could never fit in?Or change your life so much for it to fit?I guess where do i start?Sammy Sue is going to a great church that even has an adoption group for birthmoms and i plan on going with her on Sundays starting this week.But i know it takes much more than just sunday.Any tips?O yeah and buying a study Bible might help hahahaha
Mandi, I can only speak for myself here (I realize there are many different faiths/religious ideals represented on the forum!). I don't see myself as good or able to "earn" any religious favor with God. I think that He freely gives that to us, and that He is perfect because we are not! Then I try to live according to what I see in the Bible. For me I try to read and learn what it says, and then how I can apply that in my every day life. That being said, I fail every day and often have to ask forgiveness from others or from God and I believe He freely gives it no matter what we've done or where we've been. I think one of the best thing Christians can do is to be genuine and not feel like we have to fake being someone we are not. I think it is ok to admit where we are weak or have struggles.
There are many things in my life that I can't understand why they happened. I have never had what happened to you, but we've had some sad things happen. The only thing I can put my hope in is that God is using those times to make me into the person He wants me to be and also to be able to help others who have gone through hard times. I heard someone once talk about our life being like a tapestry. Sometimes we can only see a thread here or there and it looks ugly and knotted, but at the end we'll be able to look back and see how all the bad and good was woven together to make a beautiful piece.
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Clearly I have been on Pinterest wayyyy too much with this rainy, cold weather... but I liked this!
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My mom texted me something this morning, saying that she'd read it during her bible study and it reminded her of the feelings I described after we un-matched with J, just days before we got that fateful call from Bianca that led us to her and our son.
Peaceful
"I know God is speaking to me when, in spite of my initial struggle, an undeniable release and peace follows when I have obeyed His voice. When I finally do the thing He has been nudging me to do, whether it's letting something or someone go, or taking a step toward the unknown, there is a deep calm in my soul. Where my heart and mind were once filled with terrible angst, I am now filled with a supernatural peace." - Kathy Troccoli
That is a great quote!
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Congratulations! I just found the pictures and he is perfect and precious!
Baby Announcements 2013
in New Arrivals
Posted
Keeping the new families in our thoughts and prayers.. so bittersweet as one life is new in the world and one has passed. I am sure Gary and Monica will bring her much comfort as they all welcome a precious baby girl!