1st x grandma

Thank you Monica,....she's a beauty just like my daughter ... I hope to be back on more regularly.. I've been pretty involved w/Brain Tumor groups and reconnecting with family from different parts of mexico, some I hadn't seen since I was four, others I never met until recently..and of course all the other things w/our "new normal" home front.. dd health/dr. app./labs/school , that I leave myself little time to get on here.. NEED TO MANAGE MY TIME..Keep reminding myself of that.. have a blessed day And speaking of beauty and growing.. All these little ones on here are just beautiful..so many new additions and those that I have seen since being on here are growing up so fast as well.. Beautiful families..

Thank you Melissa.. couldn't agree with you more on their smiles.. She is the beat of all our hearts..

THANK you Dee,, well there u go, guess will have to find a way to remedy that.. She is surrounded by love from all directions..

Heidi. find I am having to reply this way to your comment on pic of "my girls"..wouldn't let me on actual pic/comment, said didn't have permission, had to be logged in,which of course I was.. will have to find out what I am apparently doing wrong later.. BUT ANYWAY.. Thank you..Isn’t she (Sloane) just gorgeous, if I do say so myself ..She’s always had her GRAMA’s heart..Don’t think I will ever get it back. And my daughter is just as beautiful too... been gone too long from here.. need to make time to get back.. Hope all who are going to Camp Abrazo have a wonderful time.. I hope one day we will be able to make it and meet you all person to person.. You folks never far from my thoughts and heart.. blessed day all Mari

Hello forum family..long time since I have been on here.. Wanted to wish all the moms no matter what side of the triad a wonderful and blessed Mother's Day.. Mari

The bright side is that this is certainly testimony to what you (elizabeth) always tell us ... that birthparents feel protective of the adoptive parents they choose and the family they helped create (by placing a child with that family). I didn't read the article just noticed it was the birthmom who alerted police. Whew...thank goodness not all US BIRTHGRAMAS are nut cases…Some of us (birth grandparents) do support, understand, accept, acknowledge what is not only the best thing for our grandchildren, but our children and entrusted parents..

Thank you ladies...it was an amazing visit in more ways then one...she is a very loved little girl by ALL who surround her and are touched by her.. Wishing everyone a happy and blessed week ahead... Mari

Wishing my beautiful grandbaby a wonderful 2nd bday... my how time flies.. Heavenly Father, We praise You for all Your gifts to us. In a very special way, We thank You for our angel girl Sloane. Bless her today on her 2nd birthday Not only today as we celebrate her special day, but always, please keep her in Your love. Bless us too, Holy Father, bring blessings upon her parents who nurture her and keep her safe, to all her family who loves her and to whom she is so special.. Through Jesus Christ our lord. Love you my angel girl...

Hello all, Since in the Catholic faith, it is still officially Christmas until the Baptism of the Lord.. I thought I would share with all this beautiful prayer I was sent this weekend.. This may speak to many, of course to each of us in different ways I would imagine.. Enjoy May Christmas be a true celebration of Jesus Christ at work in your life May God grant you the light in Christmas, which is faith; The warmth of Christmas, which is love; The radiance of Christmas, which is purity; The righteousness of Christmas, which is justice; The belief in Christmas, which is truth; The all of Christmas, which is Christ. By: Mary Southerland Girlfriends in God

Wishing each of you and your families a wonderful Christmas, a safe and very blessed New Year.. Special prayers going out to all first families, especially to the first moms..May you find comfort surrounded by the love of Your families. We lift our voice to God above, As we try to forget all our troubles and woes; We pray, if just for a moment, we can be happy again, we will find our way a little easier to go. Though we may travel through our life, at times with heavy hearts. God knows the burdens we bear,He will hear all our prayers and our hearts deep desires. Even in our days that are the darkest and seem so dreary, He gives us hope that our days will become brighter and better. His love and compassion will embrace us, so we can stand tall and hold our heads high in the face of our pain. We must be strong in our faith and our hope, feel confident He will walk by our side, helping to heal our emptiness and lovingly teach us to be able to cope. One day we will awake and be able to say, Dear God, my shoulders feel lighter, this will be a beautiful day.

Hello forum family, Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving with loved ones. So many beautiful pictures in the gallery and those beautiful babies that arrived around the same time as my grand baby are getting so big. Wow, can’t believe my angel girl is going to be two next month, and this is already her second Christmas. Watching her grow and being a part of her life and a part of her family’s life has been a blessing. Sorry I have neglected my postings..The last couple years have been a heck of a roller coaster ride and some months have hit harder then others. Although we are doing MUCH better with the adoption portion, some days can still be a little tough. My daughter’s health is what has taken us through some dark storms, still dealing with many of them, but at least with one of the worst ones it looks like FINALLY her doctors have found the right combination of medications to keep her seizures at bay and another two doctors have been added to her already long list of specialist. Her dad has mentioned on occasion he never would have thought that two years later (from her brain surgery) we/she would still be dealing with all we/she has been. We had to laugh the other day, she said she felt like a drug addict popping 14 pills a day..We have to make sure when we venture out, that we take whatever medication will be due while we are out, sometimes that means even including a snack and water we have to sneak in sometimes (oh well, we do what we gotta do) for her to take them with. The commercial of the credit card that they say, “don’t leave home with out it”, well for her the card is replaced by her pill box. Getting back to the gym is another goal this month, haven’t been in three months, were waiting on her doctors and physical therapist to give her the ok, which we now have. Even with all these obstacles she is doing well, and even though our calendar has been pretty full with doctor appointments/therapies, she has managed to stay current with school. Next week she will finish up her first semester of college and is already signed up for the spring semester. I couldn’t be prouder or ask for more, which helped us have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I have been keeping my mind occupied with my jewelry making, and I will actually take part in my first ever Christmas craft event this Saturday. Taking along my elf helpers (daughter and husband), so we will see how it goes.. Anyone in SA or surrounding area who likes to go to these.. The event will be held at St. John Neumann Catholic Church in Live Oak.. from 10am to 4pm,,,,I will be there til 1 or 2, but I am sure there are a lot more talented people with their crafts that will be there.. Well, time to get going..so I hope to be able to get back to the forum on a more regular base.. Wishing everyone a safe holiday season. Blessing to all Lov, Mari

Thank you so much ladies for all the bday wishes....I had a wonderful day, the only thing that would have made it even better would've (is this a word?)been seeing and hugging all my girls.. but I did get a chance to speak with my daughter in Vegas and my grandbaby, which was great.. Hope all of you are doing well, beautiful pictures in the gallery.... Gina, thanks for the heads up..I would hate to think someone was attacking me and force me to mace you.. jk I don't carry mace...I would love to meet you, would love to meet many of you in person..maybe one day I will get the chance.. May all of you have a wonderful and blessed weekend.. Much luv Mari

Amy, your right,,those jerks wake us up and make us appreciate life and loved ones.. they are also reminding me that I am getting too darn old.. roller-coasters were my favorite ride at amusement parks.. The thrill of the dips, the adrenaline pumping from the anticipation of the drop, the excitement, the feeling of freedom while at the very top, holding your breath and preparing yourself for what came next, yet the heart's fast palpitations with the sharp curves leaving you breathless..wow what a rush...front seat was the magic place.. Now I will gladly take a back seat and hang on, as I travel on the ride of this journey, patiently waiting for it to slow down enough to let me catch my breath once more and be able to say, wow what a ride, but let me plant my feet on solid ground..

Thank you Suzi, we have had one heck of a rollercoaster ride this past month.. but not letting the jerks throw us off the track, they are though making us hold on a tad bit tighter! Your little ones are getting so big..beautiful kiddos.. Hope you are all doing well... Blessings, Mari

Thank you Amy..have sent you an email..

Thank you ladies for your prayers... My daughter has had two seizures in less then a week..Even though she was put back on medication with her seizure at the end of June, on Friday it was doubled and yesterday it was increased some more.. She does go for a follow up today and they will be checking her medication level, hopefully they can find the right dosage or might have to change it all together.. All I know right now is that these episodes have been frightening,have her scared and nervous as they do her dad and I.. So the prayers are all we can ask for and for God to continue keeping her safe and guide her doctors in her road to healing. Once again thank you to all for being there for us during this time of nerve racking & heart racing uncertainty... Reflection of Pictures A sparkling diamond (Sloane) Being surrounded by just a few of natures wondrous elements Each with it's own beauty and uniqueness That will help shape her into the unique brilliant cut of a sparkling gem That she will always be to each one of us

Thank you ladies…love seeing our little angel girl and spoiling her when we can...but nothing warms my husband’s and my heart more then seeing our daughter light up when she spends time with her. We are truly blessed, my granddaughter certainly has her tribe that love her and whom she is the center of not only our world but her parents’ world. Would like to ask for continued prayers for my daughter..If you don’t mind, please throw one in there for me; it’s been a bit stressful for me due to my daughter having another little set back with her health this past week…. May you all have a wonderful and blessed week Mari

Wishing all grandparents a blessed grandparents day...To all bio/first grandparents, may you have peace in your heart and feel the embrace of God's love surrounding you on this special day. You are all in my thoughts and prayers..

Hi Amy, Yes, received PM,,you should have my reponse as I type this.. sorry on delay, having computer issues..need to take my lap top in for service..darn thing is slower then the pet turtle I had as a teen and keeps locking up on me.. but, finally was able to send. Keeping your little one in my prayers.. Have a wonderful weekend Blessings Mari

Amy, Thank you, my daughter is doing better, returns to her dr. in a few weeks for more lab work and follow up. I hope Hayden is also doing better. Do you have any wise insight for me, how do you handle it? What type of seizures are they? How do they affect Hayden prior/after? How often do they occur? I really don't know how parents of children w/epilepsy do it, I am thinking like anything else, one learns from them and how to deal with obstacles. It just really took a toll on my daughter for a few weeks afterwards,she was quiet, more pensive,scared,her emotions were a roller coaster, thinking her tumor had returned,she lost motivation for a while. It took her and us some time to get to a somewhat normal or new normal place..But I think we will always have that in the back of our mind or maybe more like in the forefront, especially with the results of her EEG. Example..Her dad was picking her up from school Monday and she was delayed due to her class running a little late, he had started to worry even though it was only a few minutes..he text her and left her a voice mail, but since she was still in class couldn't reply, as soon as she got out she called him and told him she was on her way.. He told me that as soon as she got in the car a fire truck (first responders besides the police for her at school when she had the latest seizure) drove by them and pulled into the school, he said he was so grateful a minute before she had gotten in the car, because had she not been sitting right there and had it been a few minutes earlier before he heard from her, he would have parked his car and gone looking for her thinking it might have been for her, his heart had been racing a little. I remember many a day waiting for her after school, sometimes 15 or 20 minutes, nothing crossing my mind other then her staying late in a class or socializing with her friends, now those thoughts have been replaced with : is she ok, did she get turned around.. I guess it is all part of the process, I can only imagine how we will feel once she starts to drive.. May have to get some tranquilizers for my husband and I. I am sure we will survive, it will just be a challenge for a few years or so. Any insight or tips you can give me, sure would be appreciated.. Blessings to you and yours, Mari

Heidi, LOL..Your always so sweet.. OMG,haha, that was my first thought when I awoke the morning of her bday.. Several years ago, when I thought about that day, year, time down the road, it was much different in my head, then it turned out to be.. But I am grateful that I don’t have other worries some parents of some kids we know have w/their kids going out of state (away) to college and being teen wild drivers. And when some hit that age they think “I am the boss of me” attitude.. I feel for those parents, but glad I am not there..at least not at the current time, won't say will never be Have a wonderful week, Mari

Tracey,thank you so much. Yes summer has been a busy one, filled with ups/a few downs but, they have all kept us going. Of course nothing compared to all folks who have had to deal w/all the storm issues and devastations around the country. I think here we see @ least a few times a wk reporting from one state or another trying to get back to some sense of normalcy. All are in my prayers daily. BTW, your son is absolutely gorgeous. Blessings, Mari

Just wanted to drop in and say hi to everyone.. Hope all had a good__ no, great summer, and those of you who went to the Abrazo Camp, I am sure you had a blast. Hopefully we can attend one down the road, would love to meet so many of you. Well school here is under way, vacation time for kiddos over and for some parents I guess it’s the beginning of much needed rest. May all students small and big, teachers and administrators, have a very prosperous and safe school year. Thank you to all who wished my daughter a happy Bday a couple weeks ago. Turning 18 was a biggie for her and she is still on cloud nine. It was a wonderful way to finish off her summer, especially after her seizure episode at the end of June that sent us for a loop. Sorry I haven’t been back to continue on our journey posting, it has been a busy summer with different dr. appts., therapies, summer school session, plus other eventful (could have done w/out) things going on. I do plan on continuing, just need to discipline myself and make the time to get back into it. Blessings, Mari

All I can say is AMEN! and bless this grama's tender heart

Continuation….Part 39 Now after her surgery, with both my daughter and her daughter coming through at least that piece, I had thought we were past the worst, but our short sense of relaxation (if you could even call it that) was tested the previous day with the type of day she had. It was as if I knew in my head that things were still very critical, but my heart wanted to feel like the road to recovery would be uneventful and typical, as if I could just kiss it, put a bandage on it and make it all better. Of course, that couldn’t have been further from the true reality. The wait we had begun, for not only test results of the tumor, but also the medications she was taking, were certainly on the forefront of our minds. No one knew the effects if any all this would have on the baby either and if the pregnancy would even continue. Both her ob & neuro told us that we were going to need to keep my daughter’s stress level to a minimum. Her ob advised not to bring up the pregnancy and especially not to bring up or discuss adoption with or in front of my daughter, until she first brought it up. With her memory being impacted, no one knew for sure how much she would remember, what impact that would have on her and they didn’t want any progress she made in her recovery to regress by a traumatic situation (memory). Without knowing what type of tumor it was, it was hard to know what the next step would be until the results of the pathology report came back from the Mayo Clinic. There was the possibility of her needing to get radiation or chemo treatments, again how that would affect both her and the baby, was anybody’s guess, but they would continue to do everything to minimize as much as possible harming the baby, yet making sure my daughter received the medical care and treatments she needed to beat this, but we knew there was a huge risk there for them both. Even though she was having daily CTS, and lab work, we/she was just beginning on another leg on the road of the unknown. As the doctor told me, once she was able to go home, we would have to take over giving her whatever medications she needed to take as well as her prenatal vitamins. It was almost as if she was back in her early elementary years, as far as not being able to take responsibility for what had been previously simple task, because she didn’t have the memory and ability she had prior to that fateful Thursday, at least not at this time. In this area also, no one really knew how long this would take, how this all would play out, even though I had tried to envision it as the doctor talked to me, I just couldn’t. My daughter had asked daily and in some cases, several times a day if she was still pregnant, even though the ob nurses were coming up to the intensive care unit to monitor the baby’s heart beat, she didn’t remember from a few minutes to the next, though it had only been three days since her surgery, I was unsure if she was in denial, like she had been earlier about the tumor or not. My questions kept piling up in my mind, but the answers were slow to come and the questions outweighed the answers. After our conversation, I found myself walking to a quiet out of the way corner, just to be able to take in what I had just been told. I knew God had plans for us all, no need in questioning what they were, they would reveal themselves in time, or rather he would allow them to be revealed. There was potential good news everywhere I looked, after all she was still with us and her child was still with her, by his grace we had come this far. On the other hand, I knew there might not be a direct path or answer to any of the questions swimming or more like colliding in my head. I didn’t want to be in a situation where I could only sustain my optimism on hope for so long, I knew sooner or later I would need to summon up more courage, more strength __ to help my daughter get through the days, weeks and possibly even long months ahead. Therefore, I figured in the meantime, I would have to conserve my internal resources the best I could, had no idea if I could accomplish this, but I had to try. It seemed like a tall order, but there was no question that I had to figure it out, this was my daughter, this was my responsibility, and I would do all I needed to for her, for her child, and I had to keep my faith in God to help continue to guide me and our family on this path. When her sister finally arrived, I went out to meet her; I needed to prepare her for what she would see. My oldest is a lot like me, we struggle to hide our feelings, our facial expression sometimes give away how we are feeling at the time. I say I am sentimental, my youngest says I am emotional, yeah, well that’s a debatable point, bottom line for me, if I see a sad movie or hear a sad song, it stirs my emotions and I get SENTIMENTAL. I tell her it beats having a cold heart and not having empathy and compassion. I don’t know that I will ever win that area though, it’s ok, and it is what it is. I updated my daughter and my sister on the most current and showed her into her sister’s room. I could see my daughter’s face light up at the site of her big sis. I watched my oldest carefully, I wanted to make sure she was ok, she had been worried about her little sister since we had talked the evening of her sister’s surgery, and I knew she couldn’t wait to get into town and see that she was ok for herself. After I gave my daughter a few instructions, my husband and I stepped out to the waiting room with my sister, giving them sometime alone. That was the first time in a week that neither one of us had been in there with her, but it felt good to just step away for a little while and feel comfortable about it. It also gave me the opportunity to update him on what her ob had told me. I could tell by his face and his body language that he was very confused in not understanding what all this meant, join the club I thought. My daughter text me that physical therapist where in her sister’s room, so we made our way back in. After answering their list of questions and them telling us what they would be working on, they proceeded to strap her to this harness contraption to allow her both the freedom to walk but also a safety net to allow them to hold on to her. This was going to be the first time in a week that she was going to walk as much as she was, even though it would only be around the nurse’s station. As they started with her, holding her up and each therapist taking her from each arm to help her start getting her balance and guide her several steps before they slowly started to release her, we held our breath. I knew it wasn’t only me that was feeling nervous, my oldest grabbed my hand and held it tight, squeezing it with each step her sister took, it was tough watching her in this situation, trying to get her balance, having to stop to catch her breath. When she made it back to her room, she was tired, but had done well; they would be back later that day to work with her again. The day was uneventful in the sense that she had no medical emergencies, which was wonderful. My daughter had several visitors, mostly family, but a couple of friends came by. Both my girls laughed and talked a lot. It was good to see them that way. She had done much better the second time physical therapy worked with her, I would like to say it was because she knew what to expect, but she didn’t remember them being there the first time, even though she was going through the motions. My oldest talked about how strange it was to find herself having to repeat things to her sister, and even though I had told her, she realized hearing it and experiencing it were very different. Yeap, I knew that, and I had been living it for days and it still caught me off guard now and then. When her doctor made his evening rounds, he advised that he would be on vacation starting that Saturday, (tish, talk about me being nervous), but he brought with him his partner who would be the one covering his patients. To be continued…….