[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

I found out that a jeep liberty is not very user friendly (rental in Vegas).. you would think it be a rooming SUV..no not that back doors when you have a boot on.. Family had to stand around a bit while I would untangle myself trying to get through the door (in or out).. I heard comments about them/someone recording me and sending to Americas funniest videos..couple times did get frustrated though when I got stuck…

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Airi,

You certainly did hit a jackpot!! Have been catching up on your blog in bits and pieces.. What an amazing start to and with your forever family. These are always my prayers for adoption triad..Wonderful blessings for a very lucky little girl all around.

Lauranda's exams went well, she was ready for vacation and we had a great one.. Now she is getting ready to start school again next week, so she is enjoying a few more days of doing no school work and relaxing..

LOL..my boot certainly did not put a damper on vacation..was a little of a hassel @ airport, but otherwise no problem..

best news is as of yesterday’s doc follow up, I am now in tennis for the next three weeks until my next follow up.. That darn painful steroid shot he gave me before vacation sure did help.. Can't beat that..

Maybe one day Lauranda and Amber will meet, Lauranda's never attended group..mainly due to school/school work that she pushes herself on, and unfortunately she missed the first reunion..but I am hoping she will make it next year God willing. First moms are a group of courages women, that no matter how much others (me included) try to support and understand, we can never fully do so unless we’ve been there, (won't ever stop me from being there when she needs me though, even if it's just a shoulder I can provide) so it’s wonderful that they can share with each other and understand each other’s emotions (good and bad)..

Have a blessed day

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

relax and enjoy the HEAT....and rock that boot...

LOL… I will!!!! Had a wedding this past weekend, my dress had been selected, my jewelry had been made and the boot was not part of my attire.. so I had some fun with it and blinged it up for occasion..What other better place to Rock it but in VEGAS...

Getting through airport security will be fun though …

Thank you all for good wishes to my baby girl with her final..

We’ll definitely have fun and I won’t let this boot slow me down, been waiting too long for this trip.. What’s that old Nancy Sinatra song… “These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do”.. Of course ya’ll are probably too young to remember it, but it was one of my favas as a teen.. Ah, memories…

Anyway…you all have an awesome weekend…

Mari

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Thank you ladies…

Jocelyn, we are headed to Las Vegas, my oldest daughter lives there (9 years now).. We haven’t been since 09, she’s made it home a few times since, (yes we all still say SA is still her home) ..So we knew it was time to go back to visit her.

Hannah, Moncia, Leah, thank you, balance is needed, I learned the hard way… I am a recovering WORKAHOLIC and think I have done great the last six years… went from easily working 70 plus hours a week to my current 25 @ week, though it took me a long time to get used to it, thought I would loose my mind for a while and now I can’t imagine going back to even 40 a week….

I am only bummed that I am in a soft cast (boot), bought some new sandals for trip a week ago Sat and then last Monday got put in the boot.. Stuck in this thing for 4 to 6 weeks.. yuk..doc gave me a steroid shot yesterday @ my follow up, (which hurt like heck), I’m hoping the swelling goes down enough to allow me to be more comfortable and maybe sneak a few hours without the boot.. shush, our secret .. but other than that we are so ready..

Lauranda has her final tomorrow afternoon (thurs.).. Please send good thoughts her way..

Appreciate you all… have a blessed week..

Mari

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Counting the days to a much needed get away vacation.. So looking forward to see my two girls spend time with each other. Lauranda has worked extremely hard in school and is ready for some time away, balance is essential.

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Oh, I can't wait to hear how they turn out! I love pickled jalapenos... I'm hoping Ollie loves spicy food as much as we do because I swear I could eat anything if it had a jalapeno on top!

Your camp donations were BEAUTIFUL, Mari! Monica looked like a very happy lady when she won them! They were gorgeous! Sure would love to meet you and Lauranda at camp one year!!

I will have to let Lauranda know to report the outcome..For her the hotter the better, I like to taste my food so do not care for peppers or food that is too spicy now in my older age..

Thank you, it was my pleasure to make and donate.. I’m thrilled that Monica liked them. Hope all are getting some rest.

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Lauranda and I pickled three jars of jalapenos.. well she did most of the work , I cleaned up ...we'll have to wait a few weeks to see how they come out...I'll let her taste them though keeping fingers crossed...

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Thinking of all new families celebrating and all families grieving, as each goes hand in hand with the other.

“It is this belief in a power larger than myself and other than myself, which allows me to venture into the unknown and even the unknowable.” Maya Angelou, poet, educator

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

I have read and listened to some very interesting books in the last year…some bring smiles, some bring tears, but all bring added awareness in some form or another…. All have something written that have made me stop to ponder…Note to self - Where/how/what/why-

I read this piece barely into the second chapter of a book I just started last night.. Left me thinking of some special hearts I’ve recently read about.. Hugs to each one of you...

“Presumptuous promises-If our promise to others is birthed out of pride or arrogance, it is sin, and will only bring a harvest of pain. Any promise we make and do not fulfill can stumble one of God’s precious ones, bringing reproach to Jesus’ name. Forgiveness and restitution must be asked and made. The choice is ours to make, choose wisely.”

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Mari, John and I so much appreciate your warm and encouraging words! When we first found out about open adoption at an early juncture in the process, we were not sure if this was the right situation for us. We were already feeling like we had no control over things (through fertility treatments) and we were scared of the unknown. By the time we had shown up at the Abrazo orientation months later, we were convinced that open adoption is exactly what we wanted as we had educated ourselves more. Being on the forum and witnessing how beautifully it can work, we so yearn for that.

Your family has been such an inspiration! Your relationship with Lauranda and Sloan, Lauranda's relationship with Sloan and the adoptive parents, all just so beautiful....As you say, I'm sure it takes nurturing but I see that everyone committed to being there for each other and most importantly for Sloan.

Doing the math, you do not AT ALL look your age!! Wow, what is the secret?!

Airi,

With all my heart I wish nothing but the best for everyone involved in adoption. In a perfect world there would be no need for it, but we don’t live in a perfect world, and thank goodness adoption does exist for both first parents and adoptive parents. Nothing about adoption is easy I think, and it isn’t perfect from the get go, but open adoption can work and it can get easier. The key players, if you will, must go through a process, an emotional process that I think no one can really know or identify with and fully understand at the beginning, not until you are in the midst of it, but isn't that the case with many things, part of the process of growing/learning and adjusting with much of lifes journey. There are bumps in the road, my thoughts are mainly because everyone needs and well find their place for lack of better words, where they belong, and get comfortable with their new roles, which ever roles those may be. But as you mention, if the commitment is there, everyone will win, especially the child at the center of everyone’s heart. The unknown can be scary, but you’re not alone, for most/many first parents, it is also a journey through the unknown and scared. The beauty is that you can figure it out together and the possibilities’ are endless. What a blessing you and John can/will be to your future family.

I’m sure your math is correct, can't believe in a little more than a month from now, it will be 20 yrs since then, but this time instead of celebrating my daughter’s birth, we will celebrate her 20 birthday (thanks to God).. We are really excited, we'll be spending her bday with my oldest daughter who lives in Las Vegas, so Lauranda will be able to spend with her big sister.. Secret, don’t really have one, wish I did though, have aged I’m sure quite a bit the last almost four years, mainly due to my daughter’s health.. Thank you though for sweet compliment..

Have a blessed day...

Mari

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Thank you for those beautiful pictures! John and I looked at them together last night and we did indeed say, "wouldn't it be wonderful if we could have this kind of relationship with the first family?" We can only hope and pray.... I have so much appreciated the warmth and the generous spirit that comes through in all your posts and how you uplift everyone in the community. Thank you! (On a whole other note, as we started looking at the picture, John thought that you were the b-mother to Sloan since you look so young.)

Airi, what a beautiful name..

I am sure or I hope at least that there are many families out there with a wonderful relationship, I always pray for this. Any type of relationship takes work, nurturing, respect, friendship and love, the rewards are immeasurable and in these situations the gift to one’s child/children and each other is irreplaceable. It really breaks my heart to read about those first-moms/families that do not have this, as well as those families whose child doesn’t know their first family.

And on the side note.. Tell John thank you for the compliment..

Though I am no spring chicken, but as a grandmother, I think I am on the young (errr) side, I am sure due to being in my early 30s when I had my daughter__ wait does 33 almost 34 count as early 30s still, um, yeah I think so, though probably closer to mid-30s, I like the first one better.. As well as being made a grandmother by my teenage daughter.. Though even at my age and much less at her age would I have had the guts or courage as she did, my daughter is a much stronger person them I.

I will also keep you both in my prayers for your perfect match and many blessings,

Respectfully,

Mari

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Hannah,

Does sound like some busy weeks, but how rewarding this investment of time will definitely be for all, especially your little ones. It will also do their first moms hearts some good, I truly believe this. Seeing her precious treasure first hand in their home environment, how happy and loved he is will no doubt bring her comfort. Safe travels to her, also wishing a wonderful time with Andrew’s family, how exciting for his big sisters. Safe travels as well to you and family when you come to Texas.. Very hot here, come prepared..

Beth,

Thank you

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

I love seeing the photos of your big, beautiful family. I think you offer a perspective that is so valuable!

Our second son's birthmom is traveling to our home on Monday to stay for a few days and I hope I will see the same joy in her eyes that I see in your daughter's eyes with Sloane.

That’s wonderful… I am sure she will have the joy in her eyes, which I translate to joy of a mother’s heart shinning through her eyes, I would think it be impossible not to see in any first-mom. I’ll be thinking of you guys next week sending positive prayers and thoughts your way. Excited to hear how it goes for all.

Love to all

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Thank you for all the nice comments.. My angel girl is a beauty, if I do say so myself. It’s hard to imagine this little active 3 year old only weighed a mere 2.5 lbs @ birth, though I don’t really need to go back and see those pictures to remember, I have it imprinted in my mind from the second she was born. It is an amazing God given grace to see her grow, be active and healthy from those rough beginnings.

I’m at times concerned with posting pictures of our visits, because I know there are several firtmoms/families that do not have this opportunity with their child/loved one. And there are aparents who want and wish for this, but their child's first family may not be at that point. Maybe these pictures of our blended family will help other aparents who may be struggling with accepting a true open adoption know that these interactions with their child’s first families are not a bad thing. Or for those first moms/families that may not be sure of spending time with their child and his/her parents, may they be given a ray of hope that it is very rewarding. The memories, bond and interactions created are forever imprinted footsteps in not only your memory and heart, but in your child’s. We are truly blessed and grateful to be where/and whom we are, to have the extended family we have is a great gift from God whose value, acceptance of us and generosity with their child is immeasurable.

Wishing you all a very safe and happy 4^th…

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

I sat here this evening reading numerous posts, birth parent blogs. Many broke my heart and brought me to tears, though I am not a birthmom I am the mom of one of whom I consider the most courageous forms of mothers I know. It saddens me to no end to read about the level of pain some have experienced, though placement is not easy and just navigating through the process sometimes seems to take all the strength a birthparent can muster, having added stress and pain seems to be so unfair and unfortunate. So grateful that there are many aparents who are cheering on, and offering their support in these unfortunate situations. I hope and pray each birthparent/mom has a support team of some form, whether family, friends or group. Thinking of each birthparent/mom tonight and keeping all close to my heart and in my prayers.

When I think of birthparents, birthmoms especially (prejudice in that way).. I think of these songs, I picture each birthmom in every lyric.

You’ll Never Walk Alone- many artists sing this; I like it best by Barbra Streisand or Elvis Presley (guess these artists show my age, so for you younguns, Kelly Clarkson also sings as part of a trio)

Journey- by Aiza Seguerra

When I think of supportive family, whether immediate, extended or forum, these are the songs I love and have shared with my daughter. I always pray that I can share my strength and she can lean on me when she has a rough day. Though I nor anything can ever fill that empty place in her heart, I pray that by sharing her load, it can ease it somewhat.

All I’ll Ever Ask – Freddie Jackson and Najee

I’ll be there for You – Aiza Seguerra

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Thanks for sharing. You have been on my mind - so great to hear from you!

Hey sweetie,

you are all always in my thoughts.. Sorry I have been MIA, something happened to my organizational skills… somewhere along the line in the last couple years they went out the darn window, so sometimes I spend…no more like waste time chasing my own back side (to put it nicely)…

Sometimes biting off more than I can chew if you will…

Trying to make it back slowly but surely..

Hope you’re doing well; your kiddos are getting so big…

Mari

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

“Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third.”

- Marge Piercy

Thought this fit here so perfectly…. Thinking of all blended families today…Especially those birth families whose hearts are heavy with sadness and/or pain. Days do get better when we take one step at a time..

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

For all You have given us, Thank You God.

For all You have permitted, Thank You God.

For all You have prevented, Thank You God.

For all You have prepared us for, Thank You God.

For the precious little girl who has a tight loving grip on our hearts, Thank You God.

For having created us to love You for eternity, Thank You God.

I love the above!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Sloane.

These are just a few lines of my daily/nightly prayers. They speak volumes in so many different ways.

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Three years ago today, my daughter, her dad and I welcomed a beautiful little (much too little and much too early) angel girl into this world. Soon after, we were joined by her future parents and our new extended family, who also welcomed her with loving arms. It's amazing how much this little angel has impacted our lives, the love we have for our sweet girl is immeasurable. Not long after my daughter and I became a part of another extended family, this forum. The love and support shown by many of you were/is a source of strength. Thank you.

Happy 3^rd Birthday beautiful Sloane, may God bless you with many, many more.

For all You have given us, Thank You God.

For all You have permitted, Thank You God.

For all You have prevented, Thank You God.

For all You have prepared us for, Thank You God.

For the precious little girl who has a tight loving grip on our hearts, Thank You God.

For having created us to love You for eternity, Thank You God.

[Baby Announcements 2011]

Congratulations to all the new parents and your families.. Beautiful babes to nurture and love. Looks like God has been hard at work with each one of you.

Best wishes to all..

The Soul of a Child

The soul of a child is the loveliest flower that grows in the Garden of God.

Its climb is from weakness to knowledge and power, to the sky from the clay to the clod.

To beauty and sweetness it grows under care, neglected, tis ragged and wild.

Tis a plant that is tender, But wondrously rare, the sweet wistful soul of a child.

Be tender, O Gardner, and give it its share of moisture, of warmth and of light,

and let it not lack for the painstaking care to protect it from frost and from blight.

A glad day will come when its bloom shall unfold, it will seem that an Angel has smiled, reflecting a beauty and sweetness untold in the sensitive soul of a child.

Author unknown

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Mari, your new pictures are just beautiful!! Sloane is growing up to be so beautiful, but we see where she gets her stunning looks from

Glad to see you back on the forum!! We missed you around here.

Thank you Monica,....she's a beauty just like my daughter ...

I hope to be back on more regularly.. I've been pretty involved w/Brain Tumor groups and reconnecting with family from different parts of mexico, some I hadn't seen since I was four, others I never met until recently..and of course all the other things w/our "new normal" home front.. dd health/dr. app./labs/school , that I leave myself little time to get on here.. NEED TO MANAGE MY TIME..Keep reminding myself of that..

have a blessed day

And speaking of beauty and growing.. All these little ones on here are just beautiful..so many new additions and those that I have seen since being on here are growing up so fast as well.. Beautiful families..

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Mari - WOW... Sloane and your entire family are BEAUTIFUL. There is so much love in those pictures. It really warms my heart to see so many people come together for the love of one child. Seeing your daughter holding her with the same smile on their faces is an incredible sight. Everyone is so blessed to have Sloane in their lives!

Thank you so much for sharing the pictures with us!

Thank you Melissa.. couldn't agree with you more on their smiles.. She is the beat of all our hearts..

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Mari,

Your pictures of Sloane are beautiful! You can tell how loved she is by looking at the pictures with her surrounded by family!! You did not do anything wrong when trying to comment under a picture. That feature has restricted access depending upon how many chili peppers you have (posts). I think you have to have elite standing to do this, so keep posting!!

THANK you Dee,, well there u go, guess will have to find a way to remedy that.. She is surrounded by love from all directions..

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Heidi. find I am having to reply this way to your comment on pic of "my girls"..wouldn't let me on actual pic/comment, said didn't have permission, had to be logged in,which of course I was.. will have to find out what I am apparently doing wrong later.. BUT ANYWAY..

Thank you..Isn’t she (Sloane) just gorgeous, if I do say so myself ..She’s always had her GRAMA’s heart..Don’t think I will ever get it back. And my daughter is just as beautiful too...

been gone too long from here.. need to make time to get back.. Hope all who are going to Camp Abrazo have a wonderful time.. I hope one day we will be able to make it and meet you all person to person..

You folks never far from my thoughts and heart..

blessed day all

Mari

[A Birth Grandmother's Role]

Hello forum family..long time since I have been on here..

Wanted to wish all the moms no matter what side of the triad a wonderful and blessed Mother's Day..

Mari