karen&scott
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Posts posted by karen&scott
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Rejoicing with this newly joined family and the arrival of one very loved baby girl, made possible through Him.
Karen
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So, for example, if you are matched with an expectant mother prior to the birth and are paying for expenses, you could argue that you are financially responsible. Most health insurance companies, in my experience, do not know the detailed reading of the law this way, so you are probably safe planning for coverage at placement. If any of your companies say they will cover at legal adoption (finalization) they are not following stated law.
Susan
Susan,
Even if the adopting family tried to argue, why would an insurance company ever consider agreeing to cover an infant before it is born, in the case of an adoption/placement which may or may not happen? I would think agreeing to be financially responsible is at the hope-to-adopting parents risk for the time period prior to relinguishment, not earlier than 48 hours after birth, since matching is all based on promises and hope. After relinguishment and signing of the entrustment papers which allows for placement, a legal responsibility
is now created with this child.
I guess one could argue that if placement happens, why wouldn't the insurance company go back and make coverage retro-active to the birth? Probably because they don't have to. Melissa, wow, glad to know they covered Jack.
Interesting discussion.
Karen
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Thank you Mari, for sharing these important thoughts that you and your daughter had to wrestle with in making a placement decision, finding and trusting a family to raise your grandbaby AND keeping placement promises for a lifetime.
It's alot to grasp, and all any of us have is faith, at the time.
Coming from the adopting parent side, I have said before I did not feel worthy of our Blessing, this baby to call our own. Yes, I know we signed up for it and did all the required steps and so forth. But when I first saw our daughter at the hospital with her first Mom...it was a life changing moment. My daughter's birthmom asked me, "do you like her?" I was speechless, my knees went weak. She was the most beautiful baby I'd ever laid eyes on.
What did our child's birthfamily see in us that we did not see in ourselves yet? She believed in us before we even knew how to change a diaper. How did she know we'd be good parents and honor our commitment to open adoption? She believed in her heart we would...
And we have, to the best of our ability.
Thank you Abrazo for continuing to educate us beyond placement about the importance of openness and keeping our promises.
Love to you all,
Karen
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Thank you Elizabeth, for this reminder of the depth of a birthmother's grief, pain and loss.
I think I better understand why many hearts continues to weep (including mine), even this many years after placement.
Karen
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Only a year...
For this Blessing in the making...
A baby boy (and his birthmother) needing to find his forever family...
Congratulations to both families, who are now joined by the love they share with Hugo Sebastian!
How precious...and timely.
And a great First picture in the gallery! Looking at this picture, was there really ever a doubt?
So beautiful!
Karen
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It's announcements like this, that keep me BELIEVING in Adoption, no matter the number of perceived set backs.
Congratulations ALL...and how wonderful for Tracey and Denver for not giving up...because their son and his birthmom needed them, exactly where they are today.
Hugs,
Karen
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Following your journey all the way, every word and every emotion!
Hugs,
Karen
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Hugs to you Mari and Lauranda! I know journaling your daughter's pregnancy and the placement of your granddaughter is not easy, nor should it be.
Please take all the time you need.
I respect your thoughts, your parenting and your signs.
Love,
Karen
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Mari, thanks for journaling this time in your, and your daughter's, life. I read every word. I have a daughter about to be 14, so you know my worries and concerns.
My hope is that the heartache of this pregnancy will fade away (in time) and lead you and your daughter to peace and acceptance of the actions and choices which resulted in this pregnancy, and the beautiful life who is here... for all the right reasons.
I say this because, as much as we try to use positive adoption language in our home, our child's Birthmom is not as tuned in to the sensitivities of her child and her adoption. She has said in front of our child, her pregnancy at such a young age was a mistake. My daughter interprets this as, I am a mistake. As much as I try to neutralize and explain what her Birthmom really means, I can't seem to totally make the doubt disappear in my child's mind.
And so, I guess all of this to say, I appreciate your candidness and willingness to keep on learning on behalf of your daughter and your granddaughter.
Thanks for helping me to keep on learning too.
Karen
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Dear First Grandma,
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for posting.
One of the hardest part of adoption discussions is communicating the pain and loss, when everyone seemingly wants to acknowledge the joy of the family that's been created.
I hope you and your daughter find some peace and comfort in your placement decision as you watch your child/grandchild grow and thrive through open adoption.
Welcome to the forum family.
Karen
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Limbo is a good time to spend educating yourselves about "open adoption", even when it's not your first (open) adoption. I think you're wise to be here, on this forum. There is alot of really good information, no matter which agency you ultimately sign on with.
Best of luck to you!
Karen
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Hi Melinda and Matt,
Don't panic, this is a time of self discovery, Abrazo understands that.
However, do voice any and all preferences you will embrace, it can make a difference.
Being upfront allows Abrazo to do what they do best.
Hugs to you both!
Karen
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Hi Mel,
Keep the faith! You've listed some important factors, openness to race and age being the biggest, which Abrazo will take into account.
In the meantime, cast your worries aside, celebrate and pray for your journey because it's already begun.
Hugs to you and your family!
Karen
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So so happy for Bill, Susan, Tasia, and Elektra! Hugs to you all.
Adding a special prayer for the first families who made this union possible.
Karen
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I would love to be more educated about the mormon faith. Unfortunately I only hear and know of generalizations, sorry for being so ignorant.
I will check here often.
Thanks Suzi.
Karen
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Welcome Erin!!
I am not aware of specific income requirements, as long as a family is able to demonstrate they have the means to take care of another child, including covering the costs associated with adopting.
Check with Abrazo if you're not certain.
Good Luck, I hope you find this forum helpful to your next journey.
Karen
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Elizabeth, I feel for this Grandma too...because I've heard she feels like her daughter is having all these children to make up for being an "only" child.
Karen
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...finding out that you can't procreate is a pretty massive blow, and the greif and depression related to that diagnosis are right next to being diagnosed with a terminal illness or losing a close loved one. The process of dealing with that comes in stages...and I thought I had successfully staged, or at least walked through them all. When she told me she felt the baby kick, there was a moment of clarity-my eyes welled up but not with greif. They welled with happiness but not really just becuase there is a posibility that I will someday touch those little feet that are kicking her, but that it is ok that I am not feeling them from the inside out, and I thank L for letting me in.
I think this is a good description of how wounded, less than complete, we come to the adoption process, when the reality of infertility has left us doubting everything in our lives.
Thank you Lori (and L.).
Karen
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The photo says it ALL!!!!
Congratulations to the newest family, made possible by their strength and faith and a birthcouple's desire to want "all that's good in the world" for their baby son.
Karen
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Rebecca, I lit a candle in honor of your good news and your good health!
Karen
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We have marked the day Kate's adoption was finalized, for each of the past 2 years, in a way that celebrates the family we've become. We do something all together and remember the day and its importance as a step in the wonderful journey we took.
Sounds like a wonderful way to remember the importance of this day. I like hearing what other families do.
Karen
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I was not comfortable with the term "gotcha day", which I guess is why we have never used it. I have friends who celebrate this day every year with their children. I kinda wondered what was wrong with me, that I did not "get it". I feel better knowing others would rather drop the catch phase altogether (too).
I also admit we have never celebrated our children's finalization day or adoption day either, except on that actual day so many years ago. I can't remember which month or day it was, now. To me, it feels like we would be celebrating (or emphasizing) the wrong day with our children.
Their Birthday is our big celebration, even though I was not there. God was.
So what about placement day? A day filled with lots of emotion, loss and joy. I can't call it a celebration, more like a Blessing from God. So I will continue to quietly say a special prayer in honor of our children's birthparents on that second and third day after their birthdays.
Karen
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May Peace be with you today, Elizabeth and Paul.
May Peace be with you today, Jon and Julie.
Karen
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I feel sad today...learning about the passing of two wonderful people from our Abrazo family.
My prayers go out to their families...during this time of immense grieving.
A special prayer is being lifted for the grandchildren of Grandpa Vanderwerf, who surely know how much they are loved by him, from Heaven above.
A special prayer is being lifted for twin babies, placed lovingly by their first Momma Tracy, who will surely know how much they are loved by her, from Heaven above.
Hugs to you all,
Karen
A Birth Grandmother's Role
in BirthGrandparents & Important Others
Posted
Mari, I hope one day you and your daughter DO come to Camp Abrazo. I would love to meet you!
I know what you mean about getting back into a routine, looking forward to school starting too.
Sounds like things have been okay for you and Lauranda lately. I am glad.
Hugs,
Karen