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karen&scott

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Posts posted by karen&scott

  1. Spiritual Enrichment

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    Sammy Sue is going to a great church that even has an adoption group for birthmoms and i plan on going with her on Sundays starting this week. :)

    This is a great way to start being active in the church again. All it takes is one day at a time, nothing extraordinary Mandi. You don't have to be someone you are not. You don't have to believe everything the church believes, there is still benefit to being in the Lord's house as often as you realistically can and want. It sometimes helps to be around other believers.

    However feeling close to God through prayer can be done anytime, anywhere.

    Peace be with you,

    Karen

  2. Family Opposition?

    in The Family Room

    Posted

    I predict your mother in law will do a 360 as soon as your baby is placed in your arms (at least I pray she does). All of this energy towards building your family to be replaced/recharged by a grandparents' unlimited love! Even some of the most stubborn can turn big corners. Another positive is how compassionate she will be towards the birthparent's of your child.

    Hang in there...family we love can and do surprise us (sometimes).

    Karen

  9. What's Your Ideal Situation In Open Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I know it's not bad per se, it's embarrassing, it's just where I was 16 years ago, completely niave about some of life's most important Blessings. I am not sure I would have ever posted this particular thought at the time, like I say it was more of a fantasy than a requirement. Unlike some of the demands and expectations by folks wanting to adopt, who are posting on public forums today.

    Likewise, thankfully our children's first parents did not expect us to be somebody we were not. Because if they were looking for perfect people, we would surely not fit that preference. :)

    Karen

  10. What's Your Ideal Situation In Open Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Ok, I am going to come clean. I fantasized just a bit, coming to adoption, before I became in tune with the real world, with needs much more intense than I ever allowed myself to think about.

    I thought our birthfamily might be this highschool cheerleader and her boyfriend, football player, first loves, who just accidentally got pregnant. Gosh, I can't believe I even thought this. Why would this situation even need me?

    Sorry for my thoughts, just had to be honest.

    But the reality of the situation of "who" needed us as parents was much more powerful than my so called ideal thoughts... thankfully. A clear understanding that adoption isn't about my needs.

    And so I am going to keep faith, that many parents in waiting can and do continue to grow their hearts, preferences and acceptances, while on their adoption journey.

    Karen

    • Upvote 3

  12. Selecting the right family for your baby

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    Monica,

    Great post! How nice to hear that even in the midst of your loss/pain, you are able to see a beautiful road ahead with your son's family.

    Your post is jam packed with helpful information for parents wanting to adopt and parents choosing to place and how important it is to honor open adoption promises and commitments. Also parents need to have a clear understanding of their expectations in open adoption, so communication can take place honestly before and after placement. Thanks for sharing what went into your adoption decision in terms of selecting the right family.

    The Segura's, I know them from Camp too. You picked a really great family, no worries there, but of course you already know that.

    Your son is precious. :)

    So glad you found Abrazo. And thanks for posting your feelings and experiences.

    Hugs again,

    Karen

  13. Resources for dealing with an unplanned pregnancy

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    Hi Monica,

    Sorry to jump in between you and Elizabeth...but I just wanted to say that I have a teenage daughter who takes meds for depression. It has not been an easy road, trying to find which meds work, during the ups and downs of her illness and so forth. But life continues onward so we make the best decisions we/she can at the time, depending on what's most critical and how's she's doing, coping etc. She has not experienced an unplanned pregnancy (which I know is way more critical) but nonetheless there have been decisions made in the past, which would or possibly could be different today (maybe).

    She and I were just discussing what a difference a year makes. Where she was a year ago is totally different than where she is today in terms of her recovery/treatment. She is doing great at this moment.

    Some of the differences I've observed has to do with how she copes with everyday life. Stress is a huge trigger, too much and she tends to withdraw or fall apart. So finding a good balance (for her) is something we continuously work through together.

    I feel your pain, we've had some pretty painful times too. But what I try to do for me and for my daughter is to not get stuck in those painful times. Everyday things change, thankfully. When she's down, I know there is a better day coming, that's just how God balances everything out (in my opinion).

    There is no magic, just one day at a time. There are better days ahead for you too. I am sorry you are experiencing deep grief right now, it won't be this intense forever, because God is seeing you through. You are not alone, ever.

    I wish I could do more than a cyber hug (((Monica))).

    Karen

  16. A Grandmas Story

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    Hello GMA Melanie!

    I love reading your post. How nice to know that even though your daughter's pregnancy was unexpected, she (and you) found a plan that brought peace and harmony to your lives.

    I know you are proud of your daughter for continuing her education during this emotional time.

    Thanks for posting.

    Hugs,

    Karen

  18. Choosing Domestic Adoption Vs. International?

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    What do you think of the proposal that all children placed for adoption should have DNA tests done, on file before placing? This way the child's identity/relations is known from the start, whether they ever want or need this information, later in life? Is this ethical, from an adoptees point of view? Would it help keep adoption's more ethical?

    It certainly would eliminate a Judge from allowing a child to make his/her own choice about undergoing DNA testing, as what happened in this case.

    Too bad these two families could not find middle ground. Both families are innocent, but are sadly affected from the illegal action of others.

    Karen

  19. Baby Announcements 2011

    in New Arrivals

    Posted

    Welcome, ALL, into the loving arms of the Abrazo community, where you'll find love and support plentiful, as you adjust to your new lives together (and apart).

    These two children are very loved by everyone here. We have been staying prayerful, asking God for hope and discernment for their first parents, as they've walked this road with their young Blessings... to their new family, even under the most difficult of circumstances.

    Sleep well tonight! God is with you all, as well as more love than you'll ever know.

    Karen

    • Upvote 2

  21. Selecting the right family for your baby

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    I find this topic so interesting. I hope others will post their experiences. How does one set out to find the right family?

    Do you start with a list of criteria?

    Do you follow your heart?

    Do you listen for comfort and sincerity in their voices?

    Do you look for things in common?

    Both of our Birthmoms have said, when they found us, they just instinctively knew we were right for their baby.

    But how did they really know?

    Karen

  24. Who Birthmoms Are

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    Renee,

    An extra special "thank you" for including Abrazo's adopted birthmom "D'Nola" in this montage. She was so very proud to be Grandpa Bruce's birthmom and her thankful heart shined through to those who knew her.

    Through this video, she will continue to stand proudly for everyone to see "who she is".

    All her life she was known as Aunt D, to her many nieces and nephews and her entire family but underneath it all she was someone's first mom too. Nobody talked about it, neither did she. It wasn't until she was reunited with the son she placed, when she was 87, that she became known as Mama D.

    Karen

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