Danette
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Posts posted by Danette
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Congratulations Sara and Andrew,
May God bless your new family and birth family and bless your little angel Gavin.
Danette
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Dawn and Ben,
Congratulations!! Chris and I are so happy for your family. What a great Christmas present. It is nice to see that the Gliders wrapped it up in a little less than a year. We wish you peace love and Happiness and enjoy every moment. Welcome home Ben.
Danette and Chris
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Congratulations Patti and Todd and God bless baby Alejandro and his birth family.
Danette
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Congratulations to Leah and Kevin and Patty and Todd.
Blessings on your expanded family and enjoy every minute.
Danette
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"Να φροντίζετε δύναμη του πνεύματος για να σας ασπίδας στην ξαφνική κακοτυχία. Αλλά μην διατρέχουν κίνδυνο τον εαυτό σας με σκούρα φαντασιώσεις. Πολλοί φόβοι γεννιούνται από την κούραση και τη μοναξιά. Πέρα από ένα υγιεινό πειθαρχία, να είναι ευγενής με τον εαυτό σας. Είσαι παιδί του Σύμπαντος, όχι λιγότερο από ό, τι τα δέντρα και τα αστέρια? Έχετε το δικαίωμα να είμαι εδώ. Και κατά πόσο ή όχι είναι σαφές σε σας, χωρίς αμφιβολία το σύμπαν εξελίσσεται όπως θα έπρεπε."
"Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
-- from the "Desiderata" by Max Ehrman
Undoubtedly, two very special angels named Sharon and Gus were watching from Heaven with joy, as her beloved daughter and son-in-law and as his favorite aunt and uncle finally met their long-awaited son this week.
The proud new parents hail from Abrazo's Griffin & the Gliders orientation weekend of 1/11, and it was because of their friendship with another Abrazo couple who took placement several years ago that they found their way here.
In the course of their adoption plan, they did sometimes have to choose not to be "distressed by dark imaginings," but they felt called to the arrangement to which they'd committed, and to the birthmom who saw so much potential in them, even when it required patience, gentle faith, and redoing the nursery just weeks before the due date.
And it's a good thing they did! Because clearly, the universe has unfolded as it should; their newborn son will forever enjoy a world full of trees and stars, and he will undoubtedly appreciate their willingness to save all that pink bedding for their next new family member.
Boys rule! Blessings, all!
Please excuse us of being new parents but we just saw this most beautiful post from home office. I just called Abrazo to thank them for the most beautiful message that we could every receive and thank God they were out to lunch because I don't think I can talk with out sobbing. It means so much to us for this post that words can't express our thanks to Abrazo and who ever wrote this and I know who did because she writes so beautiful on this forum. I noticed that the above message that is in Greek was from the Desiderata which is italian. My mother Sharon's maiden name is Desiderato and she has passed 18 years ago and how crazy that a saying that was used for us was from the Desiderata which I have a couple of books on being it is a family name. Gus which is Costa in Greek is our nephew who was 8 years old and died in a car accident. They definitely are our angels. We appreciate Abrazo for recognizing two people we love and miss.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for this. I have copied and pasted it and it will be displayed at our baby shower that our family is having for us. It will also be framed and put in Christo's room.
We look forward to camp Abrazo and I will hold on to all my baby girl things in which the theme was angels and look forward to when abrazo can make another dream come true.
Sincere thanks to Abrazo,
Chris , Danette and Christo Pontikis
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Melanie,
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. We met you, your daughter and her friend at orientation in January 2011. Chris and I were so moved on how beautiful an open adoption could be. We left that day saying to each other how lucky we were to be at the orientation to see how beautiful your relationship is with Amy and Craig. We were definitely inspired. We pray that our open relationship with our expectant family blossoms as yours has. We will pray for you and your adoptive family that your relationships strengthen even more than it has through the years and look forward to hearing more of your posts.
God Bless
Danette and Chris
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Now that Chris and I are matched with our Birthfamily and going through the emotions of this journey I look back and think of the conversations and decisions that were made just recently. I imagined for the birthfamily making such a brave and loving decision that they go through similar emotions that we do as Adoptive Parents. I have respect for the birthfamily selection process and feel honored to have been chosen and that it was a big loving decision.
Danette
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Hilarious!!! Chris will take a double scoop!!
Relevant to absolutely nothing:
Breast Milk Ice Cream Coming to London
And here's a Second Serving for anyone who might be interested.
I scream, you scream, we all... (well, okay, maybe not all of us!) LOL
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This defintely makes alot of sense. Clears things up for those who are interested in doing this.
Thank you for posting. I will say it again!!! Great information.
Danette
To learn more about how birthmothers feel about this topic, CLICK HERE.
For an adopting mother to essentially "wet nurse" or "cross-nurse" the baby she is in the process of adopting seems to be largely a matter of personal preference, and sometimes has more to do with an adopting parent's concerns about bonding than with infant nutritional needs. (Furthermore, most sources seem to consider the actual antibody/immune system benefits to a child not born to that mother to be rather negligible.)
This is certainly not something that Abrazo would permit our adopting parents to undertake at any point prior to placement, for perhaps-obvious reasons. (For a prospective mother to usurp a birthmother's feeding time with her new baby in the hospital in the interest of "adoptive breastfeeding from the start" is inappropriate, for example.)
Abrazo definitely encourages any families interested in this possibility to be sure they know how the parents of their intended child truly feel about the prospect, before making any such plans. It can be a very sensitive issue for birthfamilies, and that can add unnecessary strains in a process that is already oftentimes very stressful.
I find a lot of wisdom in the insight of Sierra, a mom-by-adoption, from the MOTHERING website:
In my public health days I wrote a grant for a program whose purpose it was to increase the rate of breastfeeding in teen moms. I've taught breastfeeding classes when I was active in a childbirth education network. I've helped women learn to breastfeed back when I worked in the maternity unit of a hospital. I've written lactivist letters to businesses that didn't support breastfeeding mothers. I've written to my legislators about the importance of laws that protect the breastfeeding relationship between mothers and babies.
I get it.
When we decided to foster adopt, I really wondered how I would handle the whole bottlefeeding thing. I was afraid that I would be ashamed to feed my child in public, that I would be uncomfortable doing something that would contribute to normalizing bottlefeeding for young women and future mothers.
But adoption is about what is best for children, and there are children out there who simply will not be breastfed. I believe those children deserve families who are committed to attachment and bonding .
So I swallowed my pride, played the part of the adult, and decided to lose the baggage.
I learned about bottlenursing. It's great. Look it up.
I learned about fish oil and other supplements that can help make up for at least some of the missing components of formula. Formula will never be as great as breastmilk, but that doesn't mean we can't give our children every other advantage possible.
I learned how to be creative in creating attachment and bonding opportunities with my children. And its a good thing I did because they each came with unique needs that called for creativity.
You can think all the things you want about the inferiority of formula and bottlefeeding, but if you are going to reason that this means you shouldn't foster-adopt, then don't even try to claim that what you are thinking of is the best interests of children. In any way, shape, or form. This is not about what is healthiest. Nope. Sorry. (If by "it's healthier" you mean: children who might have more ear infections, or are 8 IQ points lower than they'd otherwise be, or who get the flu a couple times as babies, or whatever, are not for you, then I suggest you take a look at doing something other than adopting a child.)
And one more reason to sort through this kind of baggage before you make your way into the experience of adoption: adoptive breastfeeding is *not* the same as breastfeeding a biological child. There are all kinds of really difficult complications that can arise, including having a grieving baby who can't tolerate body contact with you (I had one of those...so I know). There is a reasonable chance that despite your commitment, there will be other plans for the feeding of your future-child, and if you haven't processed some of your baggage here, you could damage both of you when things don't work the way you intend and your attachments to this notion of the only way to be a good mother to your child start to unravel.
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Hi Jessica,
Good luck at orientation. It is alot of helpful information and the ladies there are amazing. A weekend to remember. I do have a friend who is a lactation nurse. She informed me that I could breast feed. I really did look at her like she has 3 heads. One thing to keep in mind and I do not know your journey to get to Abrazo. I did 9 rounds of fertility treatments with alot of hormones and one thing that always sticks in my mind is that I did not feel well. It was hard on my body. My answer to my friend was that I will not stick one more hormone in my body it has had enough. On the other side she said women do it and they seem to enjoy it and yes it does not always work for everyone. I admire you for checking into this and think you should do the research of what this all entails. One thing I think of is I do not have to feel hormonal when we are blessed with our baby and that will be nice. Good luck and I hope it works out for you.
Danette
Hi Abrazo Forum Network -
I just started to research adoptive breastfeeding. I was wondering if anyone has done it and is willing to share their experience. I have read about taking hormones and herbs to help milk production but I am not sure of side-effects, etc. I would love to be able to breastfeed our future baby (Lord willing!).
We are just starting our home study and have yet to attend the Abrazo Orientation. I want to make sure I get a schedule together for how long to set aside before we could get our baby to prepare to breastfeed if that is possible.
Thanks for any help!
Jessica
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Hi Merae and Scott,
Look forward to meeting you at the orientation. How exciting for the quick response. See you soon.
Danette and Chris Pontikis
YAY!!! Brianna called today and invited Scott and I to orientation! It was so exciting to tell Scott and we can't wait to head down to San Antonio!
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Thank you.
Yes I did get them and gave the requirments to my Social Worker who is handling our case.
Thank you again!!!
Danette
Danette, we've spoken since your last post, I believe? but if anyone else is still searching for the latest homestudy requirements, you should be able to find them here: Look for post #98!
Hi Amy,
Thank you. We are excited to get going. We figured we would start our home study so we can be ready for what ever comes next. I figured we would do all the homestudy work because I am sure there is post orientation work when we come back. Thank you for the encouragement.
Danette
Way to get things done Danette! The next orientation is just around the corner, and it sounds like you are already working hard on moving your journey forward. Keep us posted on your progress - or any questions.
Amy
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Chris and I had our first homestudy interview today!!! We like our Social worker and we have our work cut out for us. We look forward to all the knowledge we are going to gain after this. Lot's of great educational advice and learning tools for the adoption process. We are happy to begin this process.
Danette and Chris :
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Elizabeth,
I tried to locate the Home study guidelines to bring to my first Homestudy meeting December 13th and I could no locate them under professional corner if you could guide me to the guidelines that would be helpful or email them to me at danette7166@yahoo.com.
Thank you
Danette
Elizabeth,
Thank you for all that information. It has been helpful. I made sure the Homestudy included post placement fees and it does and it is 3,000 at the most so it seems to be right in line with what you found. I appreciate the time you spent on this.
Thank you
Danette
Danette, I am not advocating for any of the programs below, but here's a basic summary of the figures I found for IL homestudies, which are significantly higher than Abrazo's $1200 homestudy fee for couples in-state (still, not one of them is anywhere near that $7k mark someone quoted you!?!)
These folks don't post their fees online, but I know several Abrazo families have used them:
http://www.f-r-c.org/home_study_services.php
$2500 (appears to be for homestudy only):
http://www.stmaryservices.com/domestic_fees.cfm
$2580 for homestudy PLUS post-placement supervision:
http://www.adoptionark.org/public/pag13.aspx
$2725 for homestudy PLUS post-placement supervision:
http://www.centerforfamily.com/informationsheet.html
$2750 for homestudy PLUS post-placement supervision:
http://www.adoption-link.org/domestichomestudy.aspx
$2850 (appears to be for homestudy only?)
http://www.sunnyridge.org/adoption/domestic/cost.php
$4k (gulp!) for homestudy PLUS post-placement supervision:
$4,250 (double gulp-- this is a CHURCH-subsidized agency!?!) for homestudy plus postplacement:
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Elizabeth,
Thank you for all that information. It has been helpful. I made sure the Homestudy included post placement fees and it does and it is 3,000 at the most so it seems to be right in line with what you found. I appreciate the time you spent on this.
Thank you
Danette
Danette, I am not advocating for any of the programs below, but here's a basic summary of the figures I found for IL homestudies, which are significantly higher than Abrazo's $1200 homestudy fee for couples in-state (still, not one of them is anywhere near that $7k mark someone quoted you!?!)
These folks don't post their fees online, but I know several Abrazo families have used them:
http://www.f-r-c.org/home_study_services.php
$2500 (appears to be for homestudy only):
http://www.stmaryservices.com/domestic_fees.cfm
$2580 for homestudy PLUS post-placement supervision:
http://www.adoptionark.org/public/pag13.aspx
$2725 for homestudy PLUS post-placement supervision:
http://www.centerforfamily.com/informationsheet.html
$2750 for homestudy PLUS post-placement supervision:
http://www.adoption-link.org/domestichomestudy.aspx
$2850 (appears to be for homestudy only?)
http://www.sunnyridge.org/adoption/domestic/cost.php
$4k (gulp!) for homestudy PLUS post-placement supervision:
$4,250 (double gulp-- this is a CHURCH-subsidized agency!?!) for homestudy plus postplacement:
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Thank you for the welcomes. The Home Study we decided to go with is at the most $3,000 and this includes post placement. When we heard $7,000 we did our research and were recommended to a Luthern Charities. So the numbers I see that have been posted are about right for a Home Study and post placement. Thank you for the responeses. We have our first meeting December 13th. We are looking forward to getting started.
Thank you
Danette
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Hello Everyone,
Chris and I are so excited to get started with abrazo. Reading all the subjects on the forum we sure have alot to learn. Our application is in and we are waiting for the invitation for January 2011. We have our first meeting for our homestudy December 13th 2010. If there is anyone on this forum who has done a homestudy in Illinois it would be great to get some information from you. We picked a agency to do the homestudy and I have been told that the fee may be too high. Would love to talk to anyone about there homestudy to see if we are in the right ball park. Look forward to being on this forum and getting started in this exciting process.
Danette
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Hello everyone my name is Danette. I was on the forum 2 months ago we were planning on shooting for the July orientation but we are in the middle of being relocated. When is the best time to turn all paperwork in if we plan on getting settled first and aiming for a late spring early summer orientation. Also should we wait for the home study until we know our exact orientation information.
Thank you
Danette
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Welcome Danette and Chris -
You will really enjoy the forum and all the people. You can get so many questions answered to help you through the process.
Home Study - no you don't have to have completed. But, I will say, the sooner it is completed the better, you never know if you will get a call or tapped on the shoulder that same weekend as orientation. I have seen families come down for Camp Abrazo and go home 1 or 2 members larger and that weekend isn't even orientation.
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Thank you to all of you who responded to us with all the helpful information. I talked to Abrazo and they suggested I wait to do my home study because we are moving to Chicago in the next 2 months so we are going to shoot for the September orientation when we are settled and do our home study there. If anyone has done their homestudy in Chicago and know of a Home study in Chicago please let me know. We are looking forward to finishing our paperwork and awaiting for the invitation to the orientation. Thank you again for all the encouraging words and links to get us motivated.
Danette and Chris
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Hi Everyone,
My name is Danette and I was referred to Abrazo by former Abrazo Adoptive Parents. We are so excited to start this process. We received our application to see if we qualify for the July orientation. Our application is almost complete waiting on a few details. My question is do we need to have a home study done before we send in our application? Also do we need a homestudy done before orientation? I have read through several questions and answers on this forum and this has been very helpful. Any information that any of you can share would be much appreciated. I look forward to being apart of this forum and getting involved in this wonderful process.
Thank you,
Danette and Chris
Baby Announcements 2012
in New Arrivals
Posted
Congratulations James and Christy Blessings to you and your Birthfamily.
Danette