suziandben
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Posts posted by suziandben
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LOL... go get em Mari!!!!! Call his parents... beautiful!
You have me walking down memory lane a bit between your blog and Lauranda's. At 15 a friend I'd know since we were born got pregnant. you talk about having random people leaving you messages when the rumor mill got going. i remember the moment I found out that my friend was pregnant. I remember who told me because the people who were talking about her were not her friends, they were barely acquaintances of hers. I was thinking why are these people talking about her? Why do THEY care that she is pregnant? What in the world does it have to do with THEM? Nothing of course. I think we just get so easily carried away in dramatic stories.
Which is why it's so awesome for you to be sharing your story becasue it gives us all an opportunity to learn. I'd love to see your story not just in an adoption publication but in something wider reaching like Readers Digest or People... wishful thinking anyway.
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I should have recognized your courage and strength right off in your posts as the the same courage and strength we saw in your granddaughter (through the forum).
PS thank you for continuing to share and to your daughter for endorsing your posts as well.
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I have a new calling (assignment) in church as of today... relief society secretary. this is my first non-teaching calling ever. But I always said that the only reason I was able to teach (sometimes 10 - 3 year olds at once by myself) was because I didn't have children at home and could CRASH when I got home from church. I've never been in relief society but I think it will be good at this time in life. I can still keep collin with me at church with this calling and as an accountant I can do roll!!!! LOL!
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This is one I would double check with the ladies on. You may just be able to send the original approved homestudy and get an update prior to placement, but I could be totally wrong on that!
That is all we had to do. We spoke to our son's birthmom in Jan. and our social worker came over about 30 days before Jack was due to be born.
Melissa do you mean to say that you didn't update your home study at all between the two kids just 30 days before placement. Your kids are 4? years apart? So all the components of your home study would have been out of date... fingerprinting, medical, financial info, etc.
Is there a time frame where that is no longer okay... like if it's been 10 years since the last update?
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We're excited to have you here Kristin!!
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Mari,
Thank you for continuing to tell your story. I'm gaining so much from your posts and from the posts that reply to you that help me continue to grow in understanding what my son's first family has gone through. I think you are an amazing mom and grandma (first or otherwise) and hope you have a wonderful mother's day today.
Suzi
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OK - I think I FINALLY figured out how to introduce myself! (I'm usually much more computer savvy). We're "baby Noah's" new family, Kristin, Steve & big sister, Piper. We are calling him Max (leaving his middle name 'Noah').
We are honored to be his forever family. He is the sweetest little guy. We instantly fell in love with him. We're from Utah, but are still in Texas waiting to clear ICPC. The Abrazo family has been so wonderful! I'm looking forward to getting to know more of you and sharing more of our miracle.
KristinI'm not an elite so I can't post comments on baby Max's (Noah) pictures in the gallery ... ooooooooo so so so CUTE. Melt my heart cute. Goodness. Welcome welcome it's so nice to see you on the forum.
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1 x Grandma... welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing. You are right most often people share the ups of life without sharing the downs. I am always excited to meet people willing to share either way. That to me is a true friend.
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I live in Texas and had a home study done about 4 years ago for adopting our son. We did not keep it "current". We also did not have five visits by the social worker. So do we need to do a whole new homestudy, or can we update our old one once matched/within 30 days of placement?
We had a prior homestudy before coming to abrazo as well... the line I heard over and over as I tried to relay between abrazo and our social worker was that your original home study is your original home study and everything after that are addendums/updates to it. I would assume that would be true of you as well. that you will get an addendum that covers the 25 points in the texas requirements, with how ever many visits. I think you have to have a current home study to be presented to birthparents/expectant parents for potential match so you would need to get your addendum/update and then have another update/addendum if necesary within 30 days of placement.
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How cool is this?
St. Joseph's in Spokane is honoring women who have placed children for adoption with a special Birthmother's Mass on Saturday!!
If more churches were doing this, more desperate moms might find the courage to consider adoption, no longer fearful that doing so would be a sin?!
What a minute... in some churches women who place children for adoption feel that is a sin? Like the adoption is a sin?
(sorry my question not related to catholic corner... way to go st josephs for honoring birthmothers!)
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Hurrah!!! What great news!
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Wow... I'm so sorry for this loss. God bless this family in this time of tragedy.
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This is an announcement we have longed for and prayed for.... Blessings on this sweet little boy, his amazing birthparents, and his adoring parents who took placement today. And our deepest appreciation to Abrazo whose staff dedicated themselves to finding the perfect union for everyone involved.
I continue to be so proud to be a part of this amazing community.
God Bless, Susan
I second that!!! We are such a community that I feel like MY prayers have been answered tonight.
wait a minute... wait a minute... I just saw his name!!!! I LOVE IT! My first baby, my cat's name is Maximus.
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Melinda,
Have you talked to the gals at abrazo yet? Next week call and talk to Angela if you haven't already. I don't know what will come of your opportunities with abrazo but i do believe like you that God is in adoption. I could re-tell our journey to collin but the baby is waking up so i need to hurry ... let me just say that we waited 4 years with the same adoption agency you were with, with nothing and we were childless. it always seemed crazy to me that we were getting lapped by families that adopted two and three children from the agency while we watied for one. Basically I saw the same thing you saw. I don't know if it's specific to that agency or our religion that birthmoms are more inclined to seek "families" as opposed to couples. whereas abrazo very rarely works with an lds birthmom and the birthmoms they work with most often ask for childless couples - I know that collin's birthmom wanted a childless couple. i do know that we were always meant to find collin... we had to chart a path we didn't expect to walk but we are surely a "match" as you were with danielle and Talmage. Whether through abrazo or however you find your next child, God will open the way again. i can't promise something i can't deliver... so when i responded to your pm i was upfront about abrazo limiting how many couples already parenting they accept into their program but i sure hope that you will be a part of our abrazo family one way or another. your open relationship with danielle and how upset your husband was about the baby born last year in montana where aps backed out because of complications at birth... you are just the kind of family that abrazo is all about.
Let me say it one more time ... i know the abrazo chicks have been very busy this week ... so in case they didn't hear the last one...
this is an awesome family.
I hope it helps... as a matter of fact, abrazo chicks feel free to call us if we can be a reference for Matt & Melinda.
Suzi
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I'm basically with Amanda. Who knows what the future holds but for right now...
on placement day collin's birthmom specifically stated she did not want her name or her picture on the internet. in honoring that request I have not blogged her name, posted it on this forum, or any other open medium. i did use her name in emails to family and friends. i have not emailed her photo to them. email is just too hard to control the distribution and our family and friends got to the point of reading our adoption updates like the daily enquirer. we got baby gifts from in-laws of in-laws ... because they forwarded our emails of our adoption journey. i did include a picture of her in our christmas letter/birth announcement because it's a lot easier to control the distribution of paper than email and it was a fairly safe way to honor her.... which was really important to us that we did honor her in that announcement.
i hold some level of a feeling of sacredness for collin's birthmom. i use her name in conversation here and there but most often it doesn't feel quite right to use her name. the thing that often happens if i bring her up in conversation is that the conversation then becomes about her... "well is she young" ... "did she have other children?" ... random prying questions. i don't think it's appropriate to blab about her life to people who don't know her or care about her - certainly i don't feel it right to blab about her love life and finances or any other circumstances that lead to collin's placement. if I refer to her as collin's birthmom ... i don't get as many questions.
as is the case in life, i don't see an issue with each of doing what we feel is right for our children. none of the responses listed above sounded "harmful" to me (i skimmed so if I missed anything horrifying oops) - i'm not a social worker or an expert but i think it's okay that we all show our love and respect for our children's birthfamilies in different ways.
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Good idea ... have van will multiply!!! ha ha ha I love it!
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You should see my BIG FAT CATHOLIC FAMILY!! Once you get into the tried and true Catholics you talk about some BIG families!!
Love the BMW!
That's one trophy Ben and I personally are very happy to let OTHER people win! LOL!!!! It was definitely a part of Ben and I's dating process... that both of us did not want a "big" family.... found out later we had a small difference in how # = big family to each of us but infertility solved that argument. hee hee hee
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Thanks Suzi! Yep, we're LDS too. Does a Denali (suburban) count as a BMW?
oh yeah baby! I'm impressed you've found your way around the forum in NO time. I had to have an in-person tutorial to figure out what is what around here. LOL!
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Is this "NEED FOR CHILDLESS COUPLES" a result of birthmother requests? Wow. I guess we're just surprised if that's the case. We just mailed our inquiry app to Abrazo this week-we have 3 boys under eight, one is adopted. Danielle (his birth mother) was really glad to find a family where he would have siblings. I guess we didn't anticipate that in the future, already being parents would become an issue for us in the adoption process. We certainly have the love, the financial security, and the desire to have another baby come into our home.
Yet we also understand that the birthparents need to be at complete ease with the adoptive family they choose.
Abrazo gals--if you are listening, we would still like the chance!
Matt and Melinda from MT
YEAH your first post!!!!! Let me just publically welcome our friends matt & melinda from Montana!!! We are so excited to have you join the abrazo forum. I am just so excited to introduce you to everyone here on the forum. Abrazo chicks if you are listening ... this is one awesome family!
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We've got tears of joy for you, our dear dear friends, David, Melanie, Joshua and EMMA GRACE. Such a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A big shout out to Matt & Melinda who just joined the forum... WELCOME WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Congratulations Jason & Jen and many prayers for "A". Before checking the forum I turned on my internet radio hearing ... the spirit of god like a firing is burning... surely blessing your new family.
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Well of course there are some GREAT families if you go WEST!!!!!!!
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The biggest family we have in our ward is 7 kids. They must be having fun in Oregon! haha
Oh it only takes 5 or 6 kids to need a BMW... mom and dad, their 5 or 6 plus 5 or 6 friends. OR responsibility in boy scouts! LOL
Ben drove my car today. I NEVER thought that would happen. He HATES vans. He actually loves the comfort of my car. Wow. Now back off that's my Collin-mobile.
Baby Announcements 2009
in New Arrivals
Posted
Congratulations Bill & Lori!!!!!! And blessing to "L".