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suziandben

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Posts posted by suziandben

  3. The Adoption Tax Credit

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Melissa - if you need to know what all we sent in, just let me know and I'll dig it up. I hope you will get your full refund SOON!

    Our CPA specializes in this! Both times the IRS has come back asking for things, it was something we'd already sent (and had copies of having sent in!) Our poor CPA is ready to bang his head on the wall, I think. I feel like we're always the exception to the rule in some way in our lives, so I can't say I'm surprised when things like this happen. I'm just trying to sit back and smile that maybe God is putting us on hold for a little while longer. :)

    You have the right to call the IRS taxpayer advocate service when the "normal" IRS channels cause you undue hardship. In other words the IRS taking way too long is affecting your ability to move forward with other plans. Google IRS taxpayer advocate and call. Your CPA does not need to call you can take care of it yourself.

    Actually I have it right here. IRS Taxpayer advocate 877-777-4778

  8. Open Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Sorry to hear your photographer was a bit tacky. Wish she had just asked what configurations of pictures you guys wanted. As I think about my answer to the question "what is our relationship" I don't know that it translates into exactly what pictures I want.

    But since you asked when friends ask me about our relationship with our kids birth parents I say it's roughly like how my brother calls me to say his daughter did this or that. He knows I love his kids immensely and will celebrate with him in his kids lives. I say that we simply have an extra big family like another niece of mine Zoe whose parents and grandparents are all divorced and remarried so she has 8 sets of everything... That is how our open adoption family circle is for our kids extra big with extra big love.

  10. Age of adoptive parents

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    To answer your post Elizabeth, I think that the thing you do have to do with older aps is demand greater financial strength and preparation. A 30 year old with few retirement savings is forgiveable because they have time to make up for it. If I were screening 50 year old aps I would be looking for certain levels of retirement funds, life insurance and lower levels of debt to equity.

  14. Just Because You're Adopting Doesn't Mean You're Not Expecting!

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I recently was reading on an open adoption discussion and the use of the phrase "paper pregnant" was being discussed. It was quite heated back and forth as some like the phrase and some were saying how horrible and disrespectful it is.

    It is not a phrase we used in our adoption journeys, but I also don't think that most people that use the phrase mean any harm at all. I think with all things adoption there are so many emotions and sensitivities that make some terms or phrases disliked depending what position you are in.

    Has anyone used this phrase and had someone have a bad reaction to it? Just curious.

    When we came home from orietation with abrazo we told our families "it's not if but when" therefore we are supposed to allow ourselves to be expecting and that it's either going to be a long pregnancy or a short pregnancy. When we matched with collin's birthmom someone said something using some words that were too owning for my comfort before his birth/relinquishment. I cannot even remember the words she used. I said to her oh we're not there yet - it's just a match at this point. She said well I thought the adoption agency told you to go home from orientation and allow yourselves to be "pregnant". I was like yeah I just don't know if we're pregnant with this baby or not ultimately.

    It's so confusing and emotionally charged. I don't think there's one right answer.

  15. The Adoption Tax Credit

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    We filed our 2010 tax return with 2 adoptions on it (expenses from collin's and parker's adoptions) and we had ZERO issues getting our full refund in like 4 weeks after paper mailing our tax return (we actually got our refund faster than the IRS said we would). I am sure it didn't hurt that I am a tax CPA and am meticulous about all the details on my tax return (if there are any small issues on your return the IRS will question whether there are big issues as well and review your return with greater scrutiny) but either way I did not have to mail in receipts or copies of checks or any explanations with our intial filing (though I certainly have all of it on hand if the IRS asked for it at any point). I did include copies of final adoption decrees for both kids (official copies with original stamps - these were not our originals but extra official copies we had on hand) as per the IRS instructions.

    As always anything you mail to the IRS send using some kind of trackable mail or package service so you have proof of mailing and delivery confirmation.

    When in doubt seek the advice of a CPA.

  25. Picking & Choosing

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    For prospective adoptive parents who are seeking to adopt only a full-Anglo infant...

    THE WHITE MINORITY

    Not only are there fewer full Anglo-Caucasian infants being placed for adoption in America, there are fewer white babies being born, nationwide.

    Adoptive parents will always come to the process with their own subset of preferences, just as birthparents do.

    But think about it: if you didn't go into courtship seeking only a spouse who looked just like you, then why should a child have to look like you, in order to get adopted by you?

    (Just a thought...)

    I am actually starting to wonder if my kids are going to think there is someting "wrong" with them because they are adopted yet look like their parents (or at least everyone on the planet tells we look like each other). I chaulk it up to our kids birthparents being attracted to familiarity and therefore somehow choosing people (before the kid was born) who would look like their kid. Several times a week the kids and I are reading some kind of childrens book or another about adoption and they all talk about how families don't always look alike. Instead of having (biological) kids who grow up and rebel yelling at me: I had to have been adopted there's no way i'm related to you!!! My kids are going to grow up thinking we lied to them all these years, well how could i have been adopted, when we look alike!!!

    LOL :lol:

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