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DPJ

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  21. In Memoriam

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    There've been foundations that I've laid, never to see the harvest because God wasn't in it. There have been plans (fully documented no doubt) that I've made that I'll never see become reality because God wasn't in it. There's been times when God has shut the door that I was running through at full pace!

    One in particular occurred some 22 years ago when John and I began trying to start a family. Well, we went through several months of trying to conceive and a couple of surgeries to help us conceive and then were told we needed to try in-vitro fertilization. So, I started the fertility drugs until one day when God spoke to me in a strong way.

    He took me to His word and the story of Isaac and Ishmael. If you are not familiar with this one, it is where Abraham decided to give up on having the promised child with his wife and basically found a surrogate that birthed Ishmael. Well Ishmael was trouble - still proving to be trouble years after his death! Oh that Abraham would have waited on God's plan instead of forging ahead with his own. And so is the story of my life -- so many times I find myself "leading" God (AS IF THAT CAN BE DONE) instead of following God.

    I listened and 10 years later, God brought us two birthmothers and two precious boys within two years of one another. This is almost unheard of in the adoption arena. As the boys get older we sometimes wonder why He thinks WE can parent them (parenting is by far the most difficult thing I've ever attempted - but that's another story for another day)!

    And so here I am again - at a door closed (at least temporarily) by God. What will I do with it? No doubt we have had a few wrestling matches and no doubt He's touched my hip:) - but in no way will I challenge His will or His way or make a deal with Him. I want to choose Isaac and not Ishmael. I want to be open to God's work in my life and I want to submit to His Lordship over me. This is the best place to be. And so I will sit at His feet and wait for my marching orders. He has a better plan than I could ever imagine.

    What an amazing testimony!!! God is shining down and leaving an angel for those blessed children --Cody & Ryan :)

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