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Posts posted by andy
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I just wanted to share my excitement. I recieved my application this weekend!! I am waiting for school to end and then I am going to dive into it!! One more reason to be excited for the school year to end!!
At first I thought I can finish this in one night and then I got to the end!! I want to go home and work on it now but I am at work!!
Best of luck to anyone else completely the application right now!! -
I think my only hesitation has been that I tend to get obsessive compulsive with these types of things and I get to worrying about maybe I didn't put them in THE right places, or who has gotten one, when are we going to get a call, or maybe I should take some here and there. (This sounds like a really stupid reason not to do this as I am writing it so I am just going to do it).
I completely identify with your concerns!! (So it's not stupid
) It is a leap of faith to put ourselves "out there" in a public way. Good for you for taking a risk! Best of luck! -
Holy Moly!!! Okay so I'm freaking out right now...I have to call my dh and make sure he can get off early Friday (just so happens I am off that day...coincidence or fate? LOL). I also have to make arrangements for Cooper, though with my parents I'm sure this won't be hard. OMG Should I overnight my application?
Okay...waiting extrememly unpatiently for a return call from the hubby. HELLO?? This is WAY more important than the extremely important huge job he has to have out in an hour. GEESH! LOL
Natalie
P.s. Thank you for your compliments!!
CONGRATS!! What a nice early birthday present!! Now relax, take a deep breath, and get that application in!!
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I agree Melissa, I think Donna's post is very very helpful to so many!!!
I think the more you talk about it, and not see it as this impossible dream, you will find "who" needs you most!
Karen
I agree Donna's post is very helpful. I decided to sent out an email to close family and especially my aunt who is a labor and delivery nurse. We are about to send in our inquiry form into Abrazo but I figured being proactive couldn't hurt. I think I am much more open this second time around. The first time it was a slow reveal to our family that we were adopting. (I come from a large Mexican family with tons of aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) Some of the relatives were hurt because they had no idea we were adopting (I hadn't gotten around to them I figured one of the more talkative relatives would of told them
). I was overwhelmed with how quickly they through together a shower and how they came to see Gabe the first day we brought him home. It was heart warming. Hopefully such a large family will provide more contacts! Best of luck to you Melissa! -
Congratulations to the newest forever family!!! Prayers go out to her birthmother.
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I also still wonder about Ethan and if he ever found a permanant home and family or is stuck in the system somewhere, he's in our prayers.
I was also thinking of him today. His picture remains etched in my head. I think because he reminded me of my son. I also pray he is not stuck in the system! I pray he quickly found a forever home. What a sweet little angel.
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I was kind of wondering the same thing as "H". How many inquiries does Abrazo average a month? On average how many of those families are invited to an orientation?? I realize each inquiry is judged on it's own "fit" for Abrazo so you may not have an average. I was just curious!
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CONGRATS to all!!
Boys are such a blesssing!
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Choosing your family based on "what you can afford" is irresponsible, and shouldn't be encouraged.
I have a feeling that you aren't quite saying what you mean, but if this is genuinely what you mean then I have to strongly disagree and say that NOT choosing a family based on what you can afford seems far more irresponsible to me. Ignoring the financial realities of one's situation when bringing a child into your family seems like the very definition of irresponsibility.
d
Some very good points. Thank you to everyone who gives us something to think about.
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That sterotype is one even I struggle with. Having been there.........But I understand there are.......it sometimes is hard for me to believe, maybe because I've never experienced that for myself, but only VERY alone through both the pregnacies, besides the AP's of course!
Loriahn,
I am glad you had the AP's support. I wish every birthmother had a family like in the movie who were supportive and quick witted! (you will agree once you see the infamous sonogram scene) I warn you though tissues are needed!
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I saw a movie on lifetime the other day with Stockard Channing, can't remember the name, that portrayed the mother as a married mother of four. I wish that I had taped it because I felt like it brilliantly dispelled some of the stereotypes (while of course reinforcing others). I suppose you can't ask for everything.
Bobbi,
I think the name of the movie is "the baby dance". It has one of the saddest endings I have ever seen. But it is a very good movie.
As far as people's assumptions that all birthmothers are single unwed mothers. I am always a little entertained when I tell people my son's birthparents were a married couple. They are always so shocked. I think it is hard for people to imagine the kind of love and sacrifice it took for them to place our little guy with us. But we can dispel myths one person at a time if we must.
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3) I thought Juno's parents were perfectly cast, and I loved the scene when her stepmother puts the judgemental sonogram tech in her place! Birthparents are too often subjected to cruel remarks from perjorative medical professionals without having anyone brave enough to come to their defense.
My husband and I watched the movie when it first came out. I LOVED it! My husband did not. His concerns were the same as Elizabeth's (but not as eloquently stated). He wanted the child to go to a more stable home. "In reality" as he stated there would be concerns about the emotional stress of a new baby and additional stress of a divorce and the adoptive parent's finacial stability now there was changed circumstances. He was also very bothered by "Vanessa's" selfishness in her lack of empathy for "Juno" and her discomfort with "Juno's" relationship with "Mark".
I personally loved the portrayal of a strong and smart birthmother. I loved that they showed how painful it was for her after the delivery without saying a word. But I especially wish that every birthmother had the support system Juno had. I LOVE the stepmother's response to the sonogram technician!!!! I think maybe I saw a bit of myself in "Vanessa" detattachment (which my husband swears I never demonstrated). It is a very hard process to attatch to an unborn child and mother knowing you may get your heart broken again (after surviving loss of infertility and in our case 2 miscarriages). However, I am an eternal optimist and think by "Vanessa" placing "Juno's" note in the space reserved for the "family picture" she would keep in touch with Juno and did feel more love for her than she demonstrated (if there was a sequel)!
If anything I am just glad it may get more people talking about open adoption and help demystify the whole process. -
How blessed you are this Christmas season!! I know this is exactly what you hoped Santa would bring! Congrats Julie and Jon!
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My response was, "Yes, we were afraid of what could happen and that is why we chose open adoption. We were afraid our children were going to ask, "Where did I get my eyes from? What did my birthmother like to do? Why did she/they make the choice they did?" And I knew that if I chose closed adoption, I could never answer those questions."
I LOVE that response! It is honest and to the point! Now if I can only remember to say it when people make uninformed comments! I tend to freeze when I am shocked by some people's questions.
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She kept saying "I just couldn't love one that didn't come from me. I'm sure you will be fine, but I can't love someone that isn't blood."
My son's birthfather asked us this same question shortly after our son was born. He asked if we thought we could love someone who was not born to us. Then in the middle of his question he trailed off as he looked at his stepson. He laughed before we could respond and said at times he forgets his stepson isn't his biological son.
Thank goodness for open hearts and minds! I hope your relative's heart is able to continue to grow! Open adoption is a family by choice!
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I was wondering if Abrazo is accepting inquiry application from "againers" yet?? I just read a staff post mentioning speaking with an "againer" inquiring about adoption. Can I send mine in yet??
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Just wanted to add my CONGRATS to all of the happy new families. What an answer to your prayers! What a blessed holiday season you will have! Thank you for sharing your journeys.After such an exciting week I think the Abrazo ladies deserve a rest!
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Hopefully, God will enable us to bring all the threads of this case together, to weave a beautiful new tapestry of a future for this brother and sister
Adding our prayers for this entire family. May as Elizabeth says "a beautiful new tapestry" of a family emerge for this heartbreaking situation. I pray for strength for all of the adults involved. And I hope the children feel the obvious love thier mother must have for them.
My son has a new book which attempts to describe God's love. One part describes his love as a "hug". I hope everyone involved feels that love right now.
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Oh, my word! They are SO ADORABLE....SO PRECIOUS!!!! Praying they find their forever family soon!!!! I wish, I wish, I wish.........................
Are there any interested families at this time, Elizabeth?
I know how hard it is to struggle with changing what you envisioned your family will look like however; I hope someone is able to make that couragous decision! They are beautiful children! I pray they find their forever family soon!
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CONGRATS to the newest families!
Our prayers for peace and comfort for the loving birth families who made this courageous decision.
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As always THANK YOU for your help! I am sending a prayer and hope any family dealing with this situation finds a solution!
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But if you are determined to adopt only a newborn/infant, then you must budget for at least $7-10k (or more) in medical bills-- just in case.
Elizabeth or those in the "know",
Is the estimated cost of $14,000 to $20,000 include the $7-10k for medical bills??
THANKS!
the eager to be prepared!
Andrea
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Welcome Ashleigh! As a hopeful againer also I look forward to hearing about your journey! Best of luck!
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Wow I hope that the new committee will think of the best interest of the child. I think the child should stay where he is. Just my opinion.
Char
Wow is right. I agree with Char in hoping the new committee weighs all of the evidence. It sounds clear to me the safest choice for the child is to remain in foster care. I pray for the poor foster parents. To know you may lose the child you had hoped to adopt and raised for so long is hard enough. But to realize what a dangerous situation it would place him, living with a child predator. How very sad. Hopefully little Gabriel is able to stay in his home.
Celebrity Adoptions
in Looking to Adopt
Posted
This article was posted for Mother's Day. It is an essay by Nia Vardalos' experience of adoption overnight.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20277865,00.html