marthaj
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Posts posted by marthaj
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I just read where Tom and Nicole's son, Connor, has a part in an upcoming Will Smith movie (Will and Tom are reported to be good friends.)
But the reporters just can't leave the fact alone that Connor is the adopted son of Tom and Nicole. (As if there is someone alive on the planet who doesn't already know!!!) It was mentioned several times that he was adopted, and they also had to add that Tom and Nicole had an adopted daughter.
However, I don't see it mentioned constantly that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's daughter is illegitimate (born out of wedlock).
or that Melissa Ethridge's daughter was conceived by the donated sperm of rocker (and former drug addict) David Crosby (of the 70's group Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young for those of you too young to remember).
Or that in fact, Tom and Katie's daughter was also illegitmate, having been born prior to their marriage.
So why, oh why, do we keep having to be reminded that Connor and Isabella are adopted?
(and before anyone posts an angry response....I only use as an example the term "illegitimate" to ask why the media is so biased toward one and not the other?? A son is a son, and a daughter is a daughter...no matter HOW they joined your family! And that is how it should be reported.....period!!)
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What amazes me is.......that people are not cognizent of a region's demographics before they make such calls and reveal their....for lack of a better word....ignorance. Hello.............San Antonio's population is over 50% Hispanic.......include Del Rio and El Paso to the West and Brownsville and Corpus Christi to the South and........ hello.........what does that tell you?????????? Even the city names San Antonio, Del Rio, El Paso and Corpus Christi are Spanish!! Get a clue!!!
Sign us: Anglo parents to a beautiful 100% El Paso born Hispanic/Mexican-American gal!! And proud of it!!!
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I just read the latest baby announcement.........and I am just wondering how a baby born in Colorado could be placed here in Texas? I thought the mother had to give birth in Texas, to be considered a Texas adoption. Does Colorado and Texas have some sort of reciprical agreement? How does this work??
I'm sure this could impact other couples...who are working with Abrazo but have a situation come up where they "find" their birthmother in their home state. (Don't know if I'm using the correct terminology here.)
I wouldn't be asking but the story of the newest arrival piqued my interest....and I'm sure other PIW might be curious too how this could work if they find themselves in the same situation?
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Please take a moment to watch this movie about a grocery store bagger named Johnny, who has transformed an entire community through a simple act of kindness.
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sidenote: Angel being a foster child became ours with virtually no fees (minus the attorney we hired trying to expedite the process). If "price" in the minds of some is directly related to the child's value....then what would that say to our precious Angel?
If you wanted to carry the analogy further....the same could be said for children born through expensive fertility and IVF treatments...many not covered by insurance...with costs upward of $50,000 or more....versus babies conceived without medical intervention?
A friend of mine conceived through multiple fertility treatments and IVF with her first child....then once she had carried a pregnancy to term, was able to conceive "naturally" about 14 months later with her second child. Would she say that one child was more valuable than the other, and had more worth just because a medical procedure was carried out by a doctor who specialized in fertility treatments, who used advanced medical technology to "mix" egg and sperm in a dish, then implant the fertilized egg in her womb....while the other was conceived through "plain 'ole" marital relations?? The first child's conception definitely carried a much higher price tag. Does that mean the first child will be expected to contribute more to society because of the elaborate means which were employed to create her?
We don't intrude upon someone's personal privacy by asking "how much did it cost" of people who visit fertility clinics, why should we ask those same questions of those who choose to adopt?
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Tina, as I see it.....it will take Mackenzie and all of our other Abrazo tots who are benefiting from openness to grow into adult hood and be able to say "See, look at me! I was once adopted...and I had a wonderful relationship with my first family...and I'm OKAY! See, I wasn't scarred for life, and I wasn't kidnapped, and nothing bad happened to me....and I wasn't confused about who my mom and dad were! And there is absolutely no need to live in fear!"
(Sounds like you could use Grace Ann and Kayleigh's mommies there beside you....I know it would feel like a hurricane swept through that Sunday School class after they got done disspelling so many myths about open adoption!!!)
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I often find that parents who have nothing else (no career, no education, no home, no security) seem to view their offspring as their "only" asset and therefore cannot fathom why anyone would "give away" the only "thing" in life that truly "belongs" to them.
This statement is very, very true.
I grew up in rural West Virginia (in the 50's and 60's), and in my county, at that time, I would estimate that probably 40% of the residents were on some form of welfare assistance.
My best friend in high school was the oldest of 14 children. Her parents and growing family subsisted on welfare and food stamps. When the Dept of Welfare offered to pay for her father to have a vasectomy (after child #7 or 8?) his response was basically the same....I don't have much, but I'm going to keep what I do have! And that was his ability to father children.
There were entire generations of families at that time drawing welfare, and it was a full circle effect. Entire generations of the same family would be on welfare, constantly having "one more child" in order to increase their benefits. I know with the welfare reforms of the 80's and 90's, that some of those programs are no longer in existence. And I realize that some people were truly in need of a helping hand, and received that help in the form of government assistance. But there were people who just manipulated "the system," and part of the way they did it was by having more children.
Agree with me or not........that's just the way it was.
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If there's a homestudy-ready family out there in Forumland who might be willing to open their hearts to a Caucasian sibling set (boy/girl) of a three-year-old and a one-and-a-half year old, please contact Angela Martinez, MSW at Abrazo, as we have a potential placement for which we are seeking appropriate options, this week. Thank you!
Just bumping up the Nursery Notes that accompany the picture now posted in the Gallery under "Team Abrazo."
(Especially for those PIW or potential PIW who have specified "Anglo" as one of their criteria, please prayerfully consider this opportunity.)
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Lighting candles for Brian and his parents, and Hayden and his parents, that the Lord may grant them wisdom and bless them with the peace that surpasses all understanding.
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I discovered this prayer today and wanted to share it with you...
A PRAYER FOR CHILDREN IN ADOPTION AND FOSTER CARE
O God, we ask Your blessing...
For children in foster care,
may they adjust to the loss of their birth parents. Comfort them as they become aware that their mothers and fathers have difficult struggles to overcome. May the children feel the warmth of Your healing embrace as they begin to realize that going home may never be a possibility.
Strengthen them as they live in a present that waits for an outcome beyond their control, beyond the "why's" of childhood understanding, and threatens to take away all that is known to them, even if the known may have been painful and lonely. Help them to move into their future, whether it be rejoining a birth family -- renewed in skills and spirit -- or becoming a part of a new family in adoption.
For children in adoption,
may they come to know that families are created in many ways.
As a newborn grows into an understanding of the struggles, gifts and strengths of his/her birth heritage, may Your divine peace fill him/her in abundance. As a toddler, fifth grader or a teen transitions into his/her adoptive family, and as sisters and brothers meet their new siblings, we ask Your divine care over the bonds that form and the new roots that take hold.
Let us remember that these children have been adopted into their families, as we have all been adopted by You, into one family.
....Catholic Charities' Prayer for Children in Adoption and Foster Care
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This from Rosie O-Donnell.........
Rosie Blogs About On-Air Spat
ABC News
(May 29) - Rosie O'Donnell felt like "the foster kid" on "The View" and admits her chief writer vandalized a photo of co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck after their on-air shouting match Wednesday, which led to O'Donnell's departure from the show, according to a video posted on her blog Saturday.
"I was really just like the foster kid for a year," she said about her stint on the ABC talk show. "I came and we considered adoption, but I really didn't fit into the family, and then it was time for the foster kid to go back home." O'Donnell said in the Saturday night video that she tried to get along with Hasselbeck but suggested they weren't compatible.
Source: rosie.com
ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY did Rosie compare herself to a Foster Child...as a Mom via adoption and with a "bad match" foster child situation ( if that was really the case) WHY would she make such a dopey comment? What if that little girl reads that? Just another stab in her heart too...what happended to positive adoption language? Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :angry:
Just catching up with this thread....and had to comment....
When Rosie had her own show, she was talking about her son Parker's adoption, and how she explained it to him. She explained to Parker that "God made a mistake" and put Parker in the "WRONG MOMMY'S" tummy, and that SHE (Rose) was really supposed to be Parker's mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm definitely assuming hers was a closed adoption, because WHAT A STAB IN THE HEART those comments would be to ANY birth/first mother! Not only was that statement insensitive to birthparents, but adoptees as well have enough loss issues without having adoption simply explained away by being told it all happened because they were simply placed in the wrong woman's body (as a baby)!!
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Going back to the topic title, "Is Parenthood A Human Right?" it would appear so from a human rights perspective. From protesting China's one-child policy to ending the forced sterilizations of the mentally retarded, the mentally ill and targeted racial groups (which occurred in the earlier part of the 20th century), it would appear that human rights organizations across the spectrum have said that, yes, parenthood is a right.
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How about the comment "Why do you want to have (adopt) a baby anyway? You've got such a great life as it is, why do you want to mess it up?" usually said by stressed out relatives/friends, who are up to their own necks in diaper duty, or teenage rebellion, or homework hassles, or financial debt, or marital problems, or illness, and they just assume their lives would be more stress-free without the added responsibilities of parenthood (a little of the "grass is always greener on the other side" way of thinking!)
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What a living doll! She is so gorgeous! And, to still be able to smile after all of the upheaval and uncertainly she has encountered in her young life. I really hope you can find that family within the Abrazo community, so that we can follow her journey to a forever home!
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May God richly bless all of you!
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Sometimes I wonder if our PIWs are dealt a small injustice when we so strongly encourage them to come home from orientation and prepare their "nursery" (READ: "baby" room) ... rather than thoroughly search and prepare their hearts.... perhaps we unintentionally set up our PIWs to "expect" infants rather than "embrace" a child.
Sign me,
One who adopted a 31-month-old and wouldn't change a thing
I agree with you! We were all sent home with the thought that we were now "expecting" (at least in our hearts if not in our wombs.) I believe the term used was "psychological pregnancy"??
Perhaps those who adopt internationally are actually showing a healthier response to becoming parents. After all, international adoption involves children already born. Many of the children being adopted thru international agencies are already toddlers/preschool age (or older!) by the times they reach their new homes.
Perhaps when everyone is sent home with the advice to get the nursery prepared, they should be advised to buy the crib that changes into a toddler bed....just in case.
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Only if your husband is young enough to have dated one of your daughters while you were married to someone old enough to be his father...
I'll have to think about that one for awhile....sounds too much like one of Catherine's homework math problems!!!!!!!!!!
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meaning the baby will be young enough to have been a grandchild... confusing enough for you?!
Not really. I am older than Catherine's birthgrandmother.
Should I be confused??
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Well, I guess you should at least be allowed to adopt them as close together as Mother Nature would allow you to reproduce them (which could biologically speaking be about every 10-11 months, right??? Nine months for the pregnancy, a month off to restart your cycle, then another 9 months of pregnancy....)
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There are just so many more aspects involved to parenting than one's physical size and appearance alone. I hope that is not the only criteria they used to evaluate her suitability.
What does her personal physician, or physical evaluation, state? What are her blood pressure readings, resting heart rate, risk factors for stroke and heart attack, blood sugar levels etc? Just having trouble getting out of a chair is certainly not an objective evaluation!
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How can two movie actors that film on location for extended periods of time have the time to devote to all those kids????
Time, no.
Money, yes, to hire a nanny, baby nurse, maids, chauffeur, housekeeper, cook, etc etc ETC.
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Hey-- I have a question for our Jewish friends. I've noticed that on the Jewish websites, they use "g-d" to refer to the Almighty, why is it that they do this? Is that a tradition we non-Jews should apply when posting on this thread, out of respect for those of you who are of this faith?
I believe it has something to do with His name being so sacred, it was not to be uttered outside of the Temple, and then only by the High Priest. I may be wrong, but I seem to remember reading something along those lines.
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I couldn't think of a nicer family to receive such a blessing! Congratulations!
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The children who beg to go to bed. Sometimes it has more to do with their personal sleep needs than the schedule. I have a friend who had her kids in bed by 7, but she said it was just what they had to have. She wanted to keep them up and they just wouldn't stay awake. Sometimes they'd try to hide or sneek off to their beds to go to sleep before their bedtime!!!!
Sounds like those kids were Morning Larks (as compared to us Night Owls). In some ways I think Catherine was born a Night Owl. As an infant, she slept most of the day, and then would be wide awake for several hours at night. Unfortunately, Jeff and I are both Night Owls too (although my days of being able to stay up past midnight are pretty much done...I just feel too crappy the next day if I'm not in bed asleep by at least 11pm!)
Celebrity Adoptions
in Looking to Adopt
Posted
John, I read it on Yahoo! Entertainment news. They had a picture of Connor Cruise, with the caption, "Connor Cruise, the adopted son of Tom Cruise, to have part in movie..." It was again stated in the accompanying article.
Why not just say...."Connor Cruise, son of Tom Cruise...."
I guess no one ever "outgrows" being adopted as far as the press is concerned. I remember when Carroll O'Connor's (best known as "Archie Bunker" in All in the Family) son died of a drug overdose, they kept reiterating that he was the adopted son of Carroll O'Connor. (As if that made the tragedy any less heart rending....Carroll O'Connor was devastated and heart broken. And I don't know he would have been any less devastated had this been his biological son.)
Now if the media kept reporting..."Tom Cruise and his third wife Katie Holmes" over and over and over....