TheEnglishes
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Elizabeth, I know this isn't the first time you've heard this but, I think it's time you wrote a book! With your talent for writing and your passion for and knowledge of open/domestic adoption you could have a HUGE effect on the future of adoption in our country. This "industry" (I hate that word, but it's early and I'm at a loss for a better one) needs more thought leaders who KNOW what they are talking about. The words on this forum alone should give you a good 5 or 6 chapters!!!
Come on, you can do it in your spare time!
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Hi guys!
I would like to introduce myself and ask if I may join your board? My dh and I are just starting the adoption process with Abrazo! In fact, I mailed my inquiry today! We were referred to Abrazo by our friends, Brooke and Claudia Duncan, formerly of Memphis! After reading over this site we never looked at another agency! We are very excited and have already started on our homestudy! Oh, we live in Collierville and this adoption will be our first child! I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you!
Donna English
That was my first post! June 2nd of this year! WOW, it seems like forever ago! We had just found out a couple of weeks before that our IVF ICSI was not successful and we were so ready to move on. Thanks for doing this Lisa, what a great idea! I swear it feel like a lifetime ago.....but only 5 months!
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Congratulations Grandma Sharron!!!!!!!! I AM SOOOO HAPPY FOR ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!
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Congratulations to BOTH families on their little pink bundles! God is good!
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I have been sick with all of this celebrity adoption business too. I have emailed NBC to complain about one of their reports about Madonna. They stated that "adopted children are the lastest celebrity accessory". :angry:
That is so insensitive to me, to Jonah , to his wonderful birthfamily and all of us. . It makes me really sad to hear the way ignorant people speak about adoption.
. Stick to singing bad songs and trying to be young Madonna. (P.S. you are from Detroit- lose the fake british accent
)Jenn
Amen sister!
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It's official-- here's research that proves that mamas over 50 are just as effective at parenting as women half their age: Yo, Mama-- You're The Bomb At Any Age! (Sorry, guys-- apparently the jury's still out on older dads.)
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sabrina, I think that's wonderful news!!!! And yes, HE did lead you there! It sounds like a great place for everyone in your family, too! I bet the boys will have a blast in basketball as well! Congratulations!
Donna -
That's wonderful Claudia! Thank you for sharing it! Kudos to her for "getting it"!
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Oprah is having Madonna on her show next Wednesday. She is going to give her side of the story concerning the recent adoption. Should be interesting...
So now she has time to fly to the U.S. to do publicity? But couldn't escort her new baby home? UGH!!!!! :angry: I wonder if he's staying behind with "her team" while she comes to the U.S. to defend herself????
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[Even worst, can you imagine even trying to explain to Elizabeth Ann and Angela what was so gosh darn important that you had to leave Texas early, leaving "your" baby behind in the care of someone else...and then wonder 6 months down the road why you're not yet cleared for finalization????????
I WOULD BE AFRAID TO EVEN ATTEMPT TO TELL EITHER ONE OF THOSE LADIES SUCH A THING!
HOLY SMOKES!!!!!!!!
NO, I CAN'T IMAGINE EVEN "THINKING" ABOUT THAT!!!!!!! I THINK WE NEED TO SIC THOSE GIRLS ON MADONNA! (And that's why we love our Abrazo chicks!)
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There is one scheduled for December!
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I have to say that I was trying to be open minded about the Madonna adoption until I read that she HAD to return to Europe early so she left staff to stay with little David and a nanny flew back with him once the courts cleared it!!!!!
She is ADOPTING A CHILD and couldn't even stay a week longer to take him home on the plane herself??????? I'd say NO, she isn't going to be a hands on parent! Ok, I better close now before this gets ugly..... :angry: 
Can you imagine leaving Texas a week early, then having a NANNY fly home with your child????????????
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Me too!!!!! It's NOT funny!
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Are You Ready To Adopt?
What You Can Learn From Your Motives
by Barbara Holtan
Reprinted with permission of the author
published in Adoptive Families, March/April 2000
You're thinking of adopting a child. You're learning as much as you can about the process and the issues. But, you keep coming back to the same question: How will I know I am ready to take this life-changing step? To answer this question, you need to think about why you want to adopt. Your motives can reveal a lot about your readiness. To help you assess them, I have assembled a variety of motives expressed over the years by families that I have worked with. None of these is made-up. Perhaps you will recognize yourself in one - or several. Beside each motive, I have offered my opinion or advice regarding the wisdom of such thinking.
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I Want to Adopt Because:
Reasons Barb's Advice
I want a playmate for my birthchild.
Hire a neighbor's child.
My religion tells me to reach out to those less fortunate than I am.
Put a big donation in the collection plate next Sunday.
My infertility is a constant sadness. It hurts terribly.
Infertility is devastating, but you must understand that adopting does not cure it.
We are quite well off and could give so many things to a child.
Write a check to your favorite children's charity.
Our marriage is shaky, and a child will bring us back together.
It will never happen.
Since we can't have birth children, I guess we might as well adopt.
It's a start, but you need to get past that notion of second best.
There's no difference anyway. Adoptive parenting and birth parenting are really the same. Aren't they?
No. Neither is better or worse, but they ARE different.
I really want to adopt but my husband is ambivalent. He'll come around once the child is ours.
What if he doesn't?
I feel so empty inside. A child will fill up that emptiness.
Find a friend.
I just want to cry when I think about all those poor homeless children. I think I'll take one in.
No child needs pity. Donate to the missions.
There's absolutely no child I couldn't love.
Ouch! I could show you a few.
I am a teacher (or mental health professional or social worker or doctor), and I am a "pro" at dealing with children.
Being a child professional is a lot different than being someone's parent.
All these children really need is a lot of love.
I used to think that too. Now I know better.
I/We just really like kids and want to add one (or more) to our family. I want to be someone's parent. I know I have a lot to learn but I want to begin.
Yes! Go for it, you're on the right road.
Barbara Holtan is Executive Direction of the The Adoption Exchange Association in Baltimore, Maryland
Back to Becoming an Adoptive Parent
Back to NYSCCC home page
NYS Citizens' Coalition for Children, Inc.
410 East Upland Road • Ithaca, NY 14850
607-272-0034 • fax 607-272-0035
office@nysccc.org
12/31/02
Thanks for sharing this! I love her answers! (And I'm so glad I passed the test!
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This is a tragic news story that illustrates (drastically!) the other side of this question: what happens if some applicants aren't declined for services but should be: The Sad Tale of Jerry's Short Life & the Mom Who Killed Him.
Nobody's perfect, and while most homestudies steer clear of highlighting imperfections, most adoption workers have a pretty realistic perspective yet strive to see good in everyone, not wanting to unfairly deprive someone of the parenting experience just because of past problems. However, it's stories like these that send chills down the spine of adoption professionals like us.
So please, know that we know: not every applicant we decline has the capacity to injure (or kill) a child. We sometimes miss out on the chance to work with (and learn from) some amazing folks, who've been through some very trying times and come out on top and have plenty of love to give! And some of these folks we must turn down simply because what they need and what we can offer just don't quite fit, for reasons even we can't articulate.
But for as invasive or as insulting as the application process may be, those of us who work in adoptions just can't be too careful.
Kids like Jerry and stories like his are the reason why.
Unbelievable!!!!!!!!
I am speechless. 
Thank you Abrazo chicks for being so diligent in what you do. And for looking out for the children. -
Welcome to the forum Kristen & Rich! Best of luck to you!
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I hope you have a GREAT second date tonight! Now you have to fill us all in tomorrow!!!!
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Ahhhh Sharron! If only you could fly here and give my mother and MIL computer lessons! Neither of them will TOUCH a computer! Can you imagine that?
We have two lovely southern belles that REFUSE to even learn! UGH!!!!!!!!! I myself, would love for them to be on the forum so I don't have to keep repeating myself to them, but noooooooooooo, computers are very scary things! Hi Donna, I must admit until I HAD to learn for work I wanted no part of the comp. but now I can't stay off and more so now that I have joined the forum. Well I guess it looks like you will have to keep informing and repeating, but isn't it nice that they do try to keep up? I was affraid of invading Colleen's space so it took me a while to actually put my two cents in.
Keep trying and have a good day, I've been praying for you.
Sharron
Thank you Sharron! Ya'll are in my prayers, too! Oh, and I loved the shower pics! Colleen looked so happy!
Donna
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Congratulations to the newest Abrazo families! Baby Olivia, both families and the birthfather leaving to serve his country are all in our prayers. What a beautiful photo of a family meant to be!
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I just received this in an email and although I've seen it before it really made more sense to me today than ever before. Amazing how these messages happen!
DANCING WITH GOD
When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing "dance at the
end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
The movement doesn't flow with the music,
and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,
both bodies begin to flow with the music.
One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back
or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another.
It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.
The dance takes surrender, willingness,
and attentiveness from one person
and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.
When I saw "G: I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i".
"God, "u" and "i" dance."
God, you, and I dance.
As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust
that I would get guidance about my life.
Once again, I became willing to let God lead.
My prayer for you today is that God's blessings
and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday.
May you abide in God as God abides in you.
Dance together with God, trusting God to lead
and to guide you through each season of your life.
This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached.
If God has done anything for you in your life,
please share this message with someone else,
for prayer is one of the best gifts we can receive.
There is no cost but a lots of rewards;
so let's continue to pray for one another.
And I Hope You Dance
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Ahhhh Sharron! If only you could fly here and give my mother and MIL computer lessons! Neither of them will TOUCH a computer! Can you imagine that?
We have two lovely southern belles that REFUSE to even learn! UGH!!!!!!!!! I myself, would love for them to be on the forum so I don't have to keep repeating myself to them, but noooooooooooo, computers are very scary things! -
Congratulations to the newest family! Everyone looks soooo happy!
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Congratulations to the newest family and baby girl!!!!!!!!!!!!
Domestic Adoption Is Alive & Well!
in Looking to Adopt
Posted
Can I get an AMEN???????