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Matthew and Betsy

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Posts posted by Matthew and Betsy

  2. Positive Adoption Language

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I too have never liked the term "gotcha." That word, like the article said, just makes me think of a possession. I too liken it to the word snatch. I guess to me using the word gotcha sounds more like it is about the adoptive parents and not child.

    We also celebrate Family Day on the day Avery's adoption was finalized. We do special things together as a family. Nothing fancy...this year we made blueberry pancakes, played in the backyard, danced, and went out for ice cream. Avery still talks about our Family Day even though these are things we might do on any day. For us, it's a day to celebrate our family and the love we have for each other. It's kind of like a day of Thanksgiving in a way. If we are blessed to have more children in our family, we will celebrate more family days each year. :)

  14. Positive Adoption Language

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I agree Elizabeth and I remember reading in one of our adoption books that with adopted children you should only refer to aunts and uncles as such. (Ie don't refer to your friends as aunt and uncle to your child). Of course they gave a reason why and I don't remember it off the top of my head. I have kept that in my head since reading it.

    I would like to know the reason why...we refer to my best friend as uncle Jeremy. The kids love uncle Jeremy and I am not sure why them being adopted and refering to a family friend as uncle a bad thing. Jeremy and I are like brother and sister, I am even his best chick (man) for his wedding next week. Jeremy has told us on many occasions that he would do ANYTHING for our children, that's more than my brother in law would do and they call him uncle? I guess I am confused why that with adopted children you should only refer to aunts and uncles as such. (Ie don't refer to your friends as aunt and uncle to your child

    Jennifer

    We too read this in one of the books about open adoption. I can't remember exactly what it said, but it had to do with how children who were adopted in an open adoption will have lots of family and it would help them in keeping track with the relatives in their lives. I wish I could remember the exact wording, but I think that's what it said.

  18. Open Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Wow! I just did some catching up, and there was lots of catch up on! First of all, Tina you did a great job! Way to go on standing up for what you believe in. As others have said, if even one person goes away having a different perspective on open adoption, then it was totally worth it. I feel so sad for the adoptive family at your church, their child's birthfamily, and the sweet child who will never know his or her roots. :( Ugh! And the agency??? What the heck??? Telling the birthmother to get over it!!! :angry:

    And yet again, I am so completely thankful for Abrazo!!!

    Melissa, your letter is wonderful. I hope your friend finds her way to the forum.

    After our most recent trip to see Avery's birthfamily, we received a comment from someone..."Oh, so you're still doing that?" It made me so mad! :angry: Still doing that??? I am pretty sure we have made it perfectly clear to EVERYONE that we hope to always have contact and visits and chats on the phone, share big news with each other, etc, etc, etc!!! It just seems that no matter how much we say and share about open adoption, some people just choose not to understand. :(

    All we can do is keep sharing.

  19. The Bounty Curse

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    This is such an important topic. Our society as a whole is in a very "it's all about me and what I can get" state of mind. We have to be dilligent about teaching children to be thankful for everything when they are getting so many messages for more, more.

    I think it is important for our children to see service to others as just part of life. Just what you are supposed to do. There are so many things we can do even when they are young like visiting a retirement home or Alzheimer's center. The faces of the residents light up with joy just seeing a little one smile and wave at them. Reading children's books with them, singing, or just visiting for awhile is so appreciated and teaches our children that it is important to take time for others. Something easy to do that can be done at any time. :)

    I have already learned from you all, and I look forward to hearing more!

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