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dbugsma

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Posts posted by dbugsma

  3. Profiles: Presenting... YOU!

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I used 8 1/2 x 11 paper as well. I picked good clear pictures & didn't use full pages of text.

    Page 1: 5x7 pic of Tim & myself & a box of text introducing us, a brief blip about our stuggle w/ infertility & knowledge of adoption since we already have a DD through adopdtion. I used very few stickers in our profile, mianly colored paper...the same 4 colors though out. I like the simple profile look. one that is almost professional. that is just my style.

    Pg 2: 3 pic of Tim & several boxes of text about him.

    Pg 3: same as above but about me

    Pg 4: one long vertical text box about our DD & 3 pic of her

    Pg 5: devoted to our families & 5 pictures little text box explaining that they understand adoption & excited about our ventures

    Pg 6: 4 pics of house, dog, us, &...(I'm drawing a blank) text box too

    Pg 7: some misc pic of us as a family & as a couple. Text box & we signed each letter.

    you will find what works for you. if you have questions call Abrazo. they proofed our text by fax & we had a couple of phone calls about the it before I was happy w/it.

    hope this helps.

  4. How do I make my mom understand?

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    Hi Alyssa,

    As the mom of 2 children through the blessing of adoption, I welcome you to this forum. I know w/out a doubt you will be give lots of support here.

    As for the desire to make an adoption plan, please contact Abrazo & talk w/ them. The ladies there can give you very sound advice about how to approach your mother. Does your mom know how open adoption works? And the beauty of it? The way Tim & I feel is that our children have more people love them & in todays world you can't have enough love for children. It takes work to make a plan work out & if you decide to make an adoption plan there are marvelous families at Abrazo who you can talk to & decide which family YOU want to raise your child.

    Hang in there & call Abrazo....they want the best for you & the child you are carrying.

    All my best to you. Keep us posted on your decisions & we are so glad you are out of harms way. Stay safe. God bless.

  5. ORIENTATION

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Suzy,

    I'll echo Toni & Laurie's response. But I'll throw my 2 cents in as well just because, I want to smile.gif

    Before orientation we had most of our money figured, but once we were matched w/ our first match we scrambled to secure the remaining funds, b/c like when you build a house you always run into unexpected expenses & need more money....so be realistic & aim higher than you think on your budget.

    Homestudy....We had all of our paper work turned in for our homestudy prior but had not had any of the visits prior to orientation. I would just advise you to stay on top of the homestudy, if I had not ours wouldn't have gotten done or taken a lot longer. There were some papers missing from our doctors & no one was letting us know that. Also learn all about your states requirements. We live in Virginia & our orientation group has heard our woes about Virginia's wacko laws.

    Profile...we took our letter w/ us. I wasn't comfortable putting the profile together until Abrazo approved the letter & pictures. We also took a bunch of photos w/ us for them to look at advise us on which pictures were best. I am picky, ok anal, about pictures so before orientation we, rather I took a pile of pictures to use in the profile. I also used some that were a year old. Just go for things that descibe you & what you do. Get as clear as possible pictures. If you scrapbook that helps, b/c you know how to go for clear/crisp pictures. Or recruit a friend who is good photo taker. Finally, before I put the profile to together, I faxed a 'final rough' draft of our letter to Abrazo to read for more feed back.

    Ok, I've said way more than I needed, but hopefully that helps. Good luck & just know that you are entering a ride that will change your life FOREVER! Welcome aboard, wink.gif

  14. What made you pick Abrazo?

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    When we were ready to start our 2nd adoption, I did an internet search & came up w/ a list of agency in the Texas area. We don't live in Texas, but liked what we read about Abrazo & the counseling they do for the birthparents.

    THat is pretty much it in a nut shell...an internet search.

  16. Preparing the Relatives

    in The Family Room

    Posted

    Ok, here's a query for the been-there, done-that crowd... for those of you who had a placement plan that fell through, what advice can you give the relatives of others who experience the same disappointment? What did your family members say or do for you that was particularly empathic or helpful in that time of loss? How can relatives of other "expectant parents" know how best to help, when to ask questions or when to sit back and just be quietly supportive? And when the next match is made, how can relatives check on how things are going without seeming nosy or invasive or superstitious?

    For relatives...just be there w/ your kiddos, let them cry & cry w/ them b/c this is your dream lost to some extent too, hug them, don't ask a zillion & one questions about what happened or why. We had taken a roll of pictures & for me part of closure was getting them developed & just seeing how truly happy Tim & I were... pure bliss! Sharing those pictures w/ our family was helpful as well, it let them see & know that even though our family was being built through adoption it didn't matter....see how happy we are.

    If you are able to help your family member recover financially, that would be one huge blessing. Our families weren't able to do that...but were helpful through other means.

    Especially helpfully, we returned home to open arms & hugs. Our failed placement took place in California & that summer my sister just happened to be working near by. She was able to come & get the 'baby' things & shipped them to my parents house b/c we just couldn't deal w/ it at the time. Also our moms took down some of the baby things around the house & stored them at my parents house.

    About 1 week after returning home, we knew that we had to go do something! We were pretty broke from spending close to 2 weeks in California awaiting the birth of the child we had prayed for, but we took off on a trip away from town anyhow. We had a blast at a water park for 2 days, b/c our parents gave us some money to do that & knew that we just needed a change even for a weekend.

    When we matched w/ our DD's birthmom, we told only our parents. We were scared! They were scared! But we all relied on our faith. Faith that the Lord who knows the end results before we do, would guide us along this faith walk. Our parents prayed, asked questions after we volunteered information & prayed some more. Of course our DD's adoption had it's fair share of different bumps along the road & tested our faith even more, but life is about learning to trust God & His everlasting faith b/c He never gives more than we can handle.

    Hope that these words are helpful.

  17. Preparing the Relatives

    in The Family Room

    Posted

    Good questions Elizabeth! Let me sleep on them & I'll get y'all an answer. Tim & I had a placement fail prior to our daughters placement in 2000 so we've been there done that! And now we are doing it again, biggrin.gif .

    Give me a day or two & I'll answer the questions hoping to help a few others or at least words of wisdom to some readers.

  19. ORIENTATION

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    [Have you started this whole profile process? I have tried to gather some pictures up but haven't gotten farther than that. I read about all those who have already gone to orientation and I begin to feel behind. I am creatively challenged so my Mom is going to help me. She is great at stuff like scrapbooking and it is a great project for us to work on together, but we need to be in the same country to work on this. Are we supose to come to orientation with the profile prepared to some degree?]

    HI!

    As one of the couples who just returned from the May orientation, known as the PeaBiscuits, this is what we did for the profile.

    We took our letter & had selected pictures to take w/ us. We wanted some approval from the Abrazo chicks prior to actually doing our profile. Others arrived w/ a profile already put together. Don't let the process overwhelm you...find some style that is YOU! When the time comes for the profile talk Abrazo has lots of examples to look at & get a better ideas. We know have a better idea of how Abrazo likes their profiles put together & right after we do our after orientation paper work, the profiles will get done.

    Hope that helps & July is right around the corner!

    Safe travels to you.

  20. ORIENTATION

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    As I am moving clothes around, ya know moving winter & summer things, I was wondering what the dress code is like for the orientation weekend. Since we will be flying in & only in San Antonio for the orientation, Tim & I have decided to each pack a carry on only. So our clothing will be limited.

    Any hints??? I would think casual for Saturdays day long orientation. But just wondering..........

    Thanks for any hints.

  21. APPLICATION

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I mailed our formal application this morning. Now I am hoping that our reference folks have mailed their letters or send them this week.

    It is a good feeling to have that part done. We'll wait to see if we are invited to the May orientation session.

    Now, off to a busy week....work, prep for a trip see grandma in Texas (College Station area), registar DD for kindergarden, & pack too!

    Gotta scoot....

    Have a great week! biggrin.gif

  22. The Welcome Wagon!

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted · Edited by dbugsma

    We are Tim & Amy in Va. We are in our mid-30's We are in the process of completing our application to send into Abrazo for their domestic adoption prgram. We have one DD through the miracle of adoption. DD's adoption was a rough road & trying at times as her birthfather contested the adoption. But through the grace of God & the strenght of her birthmother's unconditional love she stayed w/us. We survived an 11 month legal ordeal before we knew if she would be 'ours'. But prior to that we had a fall through were the birthparents changed their minds ~24 hours after the birth. Looking back there were lots of things that just were not right about that first situation, but we wanted to have a baby so bad that we put our hearts out on the line for that adoption.

    DD is now 5 & ALL girl. She loves Polly pockets, dress up, dance, preschool, hanging w/ Grammy or her other grandparents. She starts kindergarten in the fall. Where has the time gone?! blink.gifhuh.gifunsure.gif

    What do I do: I am a registared nurse working in the outpatient surgery department of our local hospital. I work between 28 & 32 hours a week w/ varying hours of 6 am to 11 pm (yes, I work anything in bewteen there). My department is one of the busiest & last year we had over 15000 patients come through our doors.

    What do I like to do: exercise (when I can), do things w/ DD, scrapbook, read, hang out w/ friends from church/work& family

    DH is a production worker at a local plant. He works swing shift which can be a challenge at times but we have always lived working around our schedules. Dh likes to bowl & is active at our church. He does so much to help w/ DD on his days off & things around the house.

    Why Abrazo? We have primary IF. For 5 years before DD, we did all sorts of IF treatments from low tech to high tech w/o any sort of success. Ends up that our cause of IF stems from my ruptured appendix at age 13. I eventually had to have a hysterectomy due to pelvic pain.

    For DD's adoption we used a faciliator which was fine, but this time we know more & want the birthparents to have counseling & more of a personal touch. Not to mention VA has very OLD adoption laws & we would rather work with an child placing agency where the adoption laws are a little better this time around.

    Why Texas? Well, I have roots in Texas. My parents are from Texas. I have tons of relatives there & we figure this is as close to living there as we'll ever get, tongue.gif . DH is an only child, too.

    So that is us in a nut shell! We are planning to attend the May orientation session if the invitation is extended from Abrazo.

    Have a great weekend from snowy VA! wink.gif

  23. APPLICATION

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    We got our application in the mail today.....phew, it is involved. Of course our first adoption probably had that much too but we were just wanting to be parents & after all of our IF heartbreak it didn't really matter. Oh, well.....we'll start with first page & move forward.

    Our plan is to be at the May orientation session, we've got a lot to do in the next few weeks aside from completing the application. That includes a trip to visit my grandma in the College Station, TX area at Easter time. Wrap up DD's pre-school year, annual year sale, painting & house repairs already planned.

    We haven't told our families yet of our plans to start this next adoption, won't they be in for a surprise?! smile.gif Humm, maybe a baby gift is in order for them very soon!

    Off to look throught the paper work & start making list of things to do......

    ...pray for guidance, patience & strenght

    ...homestudy

    ...profile pictures

    ...rough copy of letter for birthparents

    ...letters of recommendation & physicals & letter from my GYN

    ...work, eat, sleep, clean house, entertain & prepare a 5 year old to become a big sister

    ...have fun, relax, scrapbook & enjoy life

    Have a good week! tongue.gif

    "Do not fret---it only causes harm" Psalm 37:8

  24. INQUIRY

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    How exciting!

    I was excited with our first adopiton & just as excited dropping the inquiry for #2 in the mail. Now we are waiting on the formal application to arrive. Hang on tight for a roller coaster that will bring you joy!

    Best wishes!!

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