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dbugsma

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Posts posted by dbugsma

  3. In Memoriam

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    Glenn, We have been thinking of you all night.

    There are no words that we can offer other than we are so sorry to learn of this loss.

    May you & your family relish in all the memories of your precious Priscilla.

    May you feel the warmth of God's loving arms around you.

    The Brown family

  4. La Promesa: Special Needs Adoptions

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I read this article early this morning after Hayden awoke us early as usual :).

    I found myself thinking that sounds so like us....

    When a child with special needs does eventually reach their milestones, it's so much more miraculous because you didn't know if they ever would reach those milestones,
    because we get so excited when Hayden reaches some of those milestones that he lags in.

    After a year of struggling with my own emotions of learning that Hayden has a wide spectrum of different/special needs I know these things are so very true:

    Shows how God finds the right parents for children with special needs And those found parents often turn out to be stronger than they thought they were.

    Again thanks Elizabeth for finding just the 'right' articles for those of us need them....you never cease to amaze me ;).

    xoxo, Amy

  5. INQUIRY

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Wow, so many inquiries lately....makes me remember our journey 2 1/2 yrs ago.

    Best wishes to you all.

    Going in w/ open eyes & hearts will lead to your child.....I know that our child found us that way ;).

    xoxo, Amy

  6. Home Study

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    So I have a question about the 5 visits, held over 3 distinct times --

    Does this mean that one visit could be 1) joint 2) Bill only and 3) Susan only and this counts as 3, and then there are two more separate visits?? How many visits are required by Texas to be in the home? In VA, only visit has to be in the home, but I have some memory that Texas requires more than one home visit...

    Finally, thanks so much Melissa and Adam for the traffic about full homestudies and updates. We are just starting our homestudy process again for #2 and I need to check again with our social worker. So much has changed in 3 years for us -- new home, new community, new jobs, Tasia is here, new agency doing our homestudy, etc... that we may need a whole new one. It would be nice if we only need an update!

    Susan

    Susan,

    Double check w/ your homestudy agency.

    You know Virginia & the wacko laws...

    xoxo, Amy

  7. INQUIRY

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Greetings.....

    We had one child also adopted when we sent our inquiry in---that was Feb.

    We were accepted & attended orientation in May.

    Our son was born in August!

    Hang in there snail mail is forever at times :). And I echo the others, your child will find you.

    xoxo, Amy

  11. Dealing with The Dad

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    A very scary place to be...

    Very real feelings felt....

    Remembering how we felt during our first adoption that was contested....

    Knowing how grateful we are to be a part of the Abrazo family now & that we didn't have to worry about those feelings this time.

    Thanks legal department!

  12. Preparing the Relatives

    in The Family Room

    Posted

    Someone (I think maybe it was Sugarfamily?) recommended a book elsewhere, called "Adoption Is a Family Affair", which they felt was a particularly read for all their relatives in the course of their adoption process... I don't know the author, offhand, but surely someone else out there does?

    Good luck sharing the good news with your relatives this weekend. There's no time like the present.

    I'm pretty sure that the author is Patricia I. Johnston.

  13. The Welcome Wagon!

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Welcome to Abrazo!

    We used Abrazo to adopt our son in Aug 2005- he just turned 2, our daughter is 7 & her adoption was a private independent one in 2000.

    We also live in Virginia.

    Please feel free to PM us for questions.

    We are having a Virginia regional gathering September 29 in Williamsburg area.

    PM Kathy, iNPink, for the details :) & watch the gatherings page.

    Again welcome!!

    ~Amy

  17. INQUIRY

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    We've made it past first base and are headed to second. We think we can complete all of the paperwork. . .Cathy

    If we have a question or two about the application, should we post them here? Or, call Angela? If we should post them here, I'll go ahead and list them. If we should call, I'll do that. Please just let me know. Okay, here I go. . .

    1. Would it be taken negatively if we stated "unknown" for the question regarding a parents' attitude towards adoption?

    2. For the health statement/question, should we put something like "good/fair" or if there is a health issue list it?

    3. For the description of retirement plans, should we list the specific type, amount, account number? Or, just the type?

    4. Savings and investments, would this also include any life insurance policies with a cash value?

    Thank you to whoever can assist us with these questions. We want to do everything we can to get past second base :rolleyes:

    Cathy and Brian

    Personally, the more honest you are with questions 1 & 2 the better. I feel like you need to know up front how your family is ging to relate, welcome & love the child you are hoping to welcoming into your home. Does that make sense? I needed to know w/ all of my heart that my parents would love my children just the same as my sisters (biological). I can see in my dad's eye the twinkle of love he has for EACH of his grandchildren...it makes no difference how they arrived.

    As far as your health.....the more you can exprain a problem (in my eyes & I work in health care) the better you are & the more you understand what it takes to care for yourself. I'm trying to remember but I think that I listed all my surgeries & other health issues. Tim did the same.

    I don't remember what we put for answers to 3 & 4. I would defer you a more recent PIW graduate or the Abrazo staff for those answers.

    Hope that helps :).

    best wishes.

  18. Who Birthmoms Are

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    We want our children's birthmothers to know how special they are to us!

    While they each have their reasons for the types of relationships we have w/ them......we want them to each know the graditude of the gift that we call our children.

    Each year we send a small token of our appreciation that arrives on birthmother day along w/ pictures.

    I agree that birthmother day is way under looked by society. Trying to find a card that is good for each of our children's birthmothers is challenging as well......but so far I've been successful.

    I hope that as we educate those around us they will the importance of Bithmom Day.

  20. Research: No contrast in grandparenting of bio-offspring vs. adopted kids

    in The Family Room

    Posted

    When Shayla arrived in our lives, we had waited for 4 years to become parents. Our parents could hardly stand the fact that we were in California with her & they were in Virginia. As soon as we got off of the airplane (prior to 9/11 & the tightened security), our parents met us at the gate...biting their nails with anticipation for us to get off the plane. Once we saw my dad, he almost grabbed Shayla out of my arms......it was so sweet. I can still see his face, it was the sweetest look. It was like he had been waiting all his life for that one moment.

    With Hayden, it was a very long day of travel that he & I had before we arrived home. But our parents were there at our house awaiting their first looks, holds & kisses.......it was like a long labor, hours of pacing & then the glorious entrance, :).

    There is no difference in our children & my sister's children (bio). Our parents ask about the kids birthparents & how they are & what is new for them. Our families really care about the birthfamilies.

  22. Home Study

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I was talking with a social worker today and she told me that if my homestudy was five years or older I couldn't just do an update, I would have to have a brand new homestudy done. Does anyone know if this is correct?

    Melissa,

    We had to do a new homestudy for Hayden's adoption.

    Virginia has wacky homestudy/adoption/ICPC rules so we had to start over again.......thankfully, we had saved, ok rather I had saved all the paper work from the first homestudy & was able to reference all of it for the homestudy we did for Hayden's adoption.

    It stinks don't it?! :rolleyes:

  23. Bi-racial/Transracial Adoption: Fears, Prejudice & Praise

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    But maybe, just maybe, somebody out there will find the courage to open their heart and their home to a whole new realm of possibility. Maybe someone out there who's reading this will sit down and examine the reasons they checked off the boxes that they did, and realize that doing so just boxes in their family in a way that constricts them from growing. Maybe somebody out there will cast a vote towards changing their relatives, their neighborhood, their community... one transracial placement at a time. And maybe someone will call here and say "talk to me about what it would mean if we were to accept a child of African-American descent; how we could make it work, how we could help those around us embrace this little one?"

    We are proof that taking the courage to open your eyes & hearts to other is just what is needed. Today as I walked in from work I thanked God for the courage to take that step when our Hayden came running into my arms.

    Thanks Abrazo for planting the seeds then quietly watering them.

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