DoubleJofFL
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Posts posted by DoubleJofFL
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Elizabeth you outdid yourself yet again. That announcement has me crying! Congratulations to the newest family and prayers of healing and peace to the first family.
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Mari,
That was a beuatiful Christmas prayer. Thank you for all you have shared with us.
Jeannette
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In the past (when I was doing child abuse work), we did notice an increase in the number of cases of abuse reported during tough economic times.
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What a great way to start the new year! Congratulations to all involved!
Jeannette
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Wow! I love to learn new things like that. Thank you for putting it on here. I am going to have to ask my Mom if my Grandpa (who knows all things Catholic) knows these things!
J
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I agree Elizabeth and I remember reading in one of our adoption books that with adopted children you should only refer to aunts and uncles as such. (Ie don't refer to your friends as aunt and uncle to your child). Of course they gave a reason why and I don't remember it off the top of my head. I have kept that in my head since reading it.
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Finally the first 2008 baby! Congrats on the addition to your family.
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And sometimes birthparents ask vague questions... then tell you later what they were really asking. So I would ask the abrazo ladies to please speak to the adoptive parents of the siblings to find out what has really been asked/said to them. I am almost certain most adoptive parents would love to be able to parent a sibling of the child they had already adopted!!
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A few weeks ago Shane out of the blue asked "Where are my brothers and sisters?" I explained "You don't have any brothers or sisters here but you do have a birthbrother and a birthsister in Texas." He looked at me and said "Mom, They aren't my birthbrother and birthsister, they are my brother and sister." I said "You are right they are your brother and sister." What insight!!
Then I was talking to Shane's birthmother this weekend and she said her oldest had been really mad that Shane wasn't there with them. I didn't know what to tell her. It brought up all the sense of loss that everyone always speaks of. She said he seems to be doing better with it now though. I am sure there will be many more conversations like these in the future as the boys grow up.
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Congratulation Erika, Keith and Briton on the new pink bundle in the family.
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Wish I could answer any of your questions but since I am not dating at all.... I have no input!
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We had been with an agency in OK for 10 months. Then the person who took my place at my old job adopted from Abrazo in 2 months. When my old boss called me and told me I said find out who that agency is. We called Abrazo in Dec 2003, went to Orientation in Jan 2004 and Shane came home in April 2004.
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Beth, Paul, Matthew, and baby Elizabeth (as if Matthew isn't a baby still),
Congratulations!!!!!! I am so happy for you. I was just saying to Jay yesterday I wonder if Beth and Paul are one bigger yet! May you enjoy Elizabeth's every cry
We couldn't be happier for you.
JJ and of course BabyShane
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We had been working with an adoption agency in Tulsa (where we were living at the time). We signed on with them in March of 2003 knowing that we were moving in July of that year back to FL. We asked them multiple times before doing all the paperwork if they would still work with us when we moved. THey assured us that yes they would keep showing our profile etc. Well the job I was leaving was being filled by another lady who had asked me many questions about adoption. Lo and behold she went to Abrazo's orientation and was placed before our agency in Tulsa even showed our profile.
Jay and I were both nervous about open adoption at first but after talking to her about it and then talking with Abrazo about it I just kept getting more and more drawn towards Abrazo. So January of 2004 we went to Orientation and in April our beautiful son Shane was placed with us
(It was funny the agency in Tulsa said they hadn't shown our profile because the birthmothers they were working with were having biracial babies (I KNOW we said we would accept biracial babies!) and look at my beautiful caucasian-african american son
Not that I am a proud mom or anything) -
I think one thing is that some of the risks Elizabeth initially brought up are true of both biological children and adoptive children. (Will they grow up to be healthy and happy??) Life is a risk! I would not trade one minute of my time with Shane for even the hardest question he is bound to ask. Unfortunately, I can already hear some of his questions later in life. See, his BP is pregnant again and planning to parent this child. So he now will have a full birth brother who is 18 mo older than him and a 1/2 birth sibling (sister we think) who is supposed to be 14 months younger than him. This has the potential to be very difficult for him. I only hope that we help him be secure with who is, where he came from, and how he is loved by not just us but also his birth family. SO are there risks in adoption.. you betcha but would I opt to not take those risks? No way! The smile I get when I walk through that door after a long day of taking care of everyone else's sick kids is worth every risk I took to get where I am today!!
We can't control the risks really whether we get pregnant or whether we adopt. I was never able to get pregnant and I had to choose which risks I would take with infertility treatments and which risks I wouldn't. Needless to say I took much fewer infertility treatment risks than I did with adoption. Elizabeth is right there are no guarantees in adoption. But there are also no guarantees in life!
OK so hopefully this rambling post makes sense to people besides me!
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I just have to say that NO child (adopted or otherwise) should have to endure, what I gather from the posts here, that this child has had to endure. I don't care if the child was born to you or dropped out of the sky into your house, no child deserves to be abused, mentally, physically or sexually!!!
Sorry after reading a few of the posts I just had to mention that!
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Orientation weekend is a whirlwind of a weekend! It starts on Friday evening and runs late Friday night. Back up early on Saturday and a full day Saturday, then Sunday you are on your own. They fill you in on open adoptions, making them work, how the agency works, finances, and my personal favorite part was the panel of birth and adoptive parents. Just about any question you have will be covered. By the time you get home you don't even remember half of what they told you. You just leave knowing that you better start getting ready for that baby to come home.
We attended orientation in Jan 04 (the Fab 9) and our baby was home in April!! It can happen even faster or take longer depending on lots of factors... just know that you have to be prepared once you leave
They will tell you "Its not if but when"
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Here is what I did. I am a pediatrician and had been at my new job for only 4 months before we attended orientation. We had been with an agency in another state before moving back to FL and finding Abrazo. So my husband and I already knew we were involved in the adoption process with no idea of when a baby would be placed with us.
Not long after starting my job (within 2-3 months) I mentioned to my supervising physician that my husband and I were trying to adopt, and left it at that. Then when we went to orientation I told him that we were going to start working with a new agency and we had heard that many of the couples took placement rather quickly. I told him I did not know when we would match or take placement but that I would five him as much notice as I could. When we matched (both times) he was one of the first people we told (outside of family). When we unmatched he was also one of the first people I told. For me it worked out well to be up front with him (rescheduling patients can be rather difficult). When our BP went into preterm labor we told him, when she dilated to 5 cm we told him. So basically from orientation on he knew what was going on (not all the details mind you but enough for him to make decisions about call schedules etc). When our birthmom went into labor the 2nd time and we all thought our baby was being born I had to call him at midnight Sunday night to tell him I was flying out at 6am Monday morning. Our BP's preterm labor was stopped (again) by the time I got there but our son was born 2 days later. It was touch and go for Mon and Tues but keeping him informed was I think he greatly appreciated.
My practice survived my 5 weeks of leave and my patients all wanted to know what my "family emergency" was they couldn't be happier when I tell them.
I hope your boss is as understanding (of course in the beginning mine wasn't but when he saw my beautiful Shane how could he not be??!!) They even extended my leave from 4 to 5 weeks when I got back from Texas!!
Jeannette
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Congrats and welcome to little Jacob! We are so excited for you guys. Please let us know all the details (how big, birthday etc) soon we are dying to know. And yes I just counted 4 boys and 1 girl for the fab 9! When we all become againers together maybe it will reverse!
PS We want to know where the new daddy is going to become a dr!
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Jay and I read (well I read about 3/4) that book, and hated it from the very title! I think the author had her own issues she was trying to deal with and put them all in that book! I know I will not ever recommend reading it to anyone. Jay's mom also read it and hated it..... just our 2 cents
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Congrats to both Fab 9 couples on their placements (us being one of them
) Our baby is not quite in our hotel room yet but still in the NICU. The doctor thinks he will go 'home' Monday or Tuesday. He is gorgeous (looks just like his birthbrother!!
his birthparents are just as enchanted by him as we are and we are enjoying our time with them. We will send all the details later. Wishing all of you fab 9er's speedy placements.....
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CONGRATULATIONS fellow fab 9'ers!! I can only guess who it is based on the post but I think someone from the "Windy City" must be elated today
We are so happy for you both. Know that you and your new son (we want details) are in our thoughts and prayers! -
YEAH!!!! YEAH!!!!! YEAH!!!!! We have been watching and watching and waiting and waiting for this post ... finally. As long as it is who we think it is; if not then we need to know that too!! A little girl how exciting. We wish everyone the best and hope that she is only getting you up every 2 hours (instead of being up all night).
A Birth Grandmother's Role
in BirthGrandparents & Important Others
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You have such a way with words. What a beautiful and touching poem. May God continue to bless you and your entire family!