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GudJen

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Posts posted by GudJen

  2. Baby Announcements 2013

    in New Arrivals

    Posted

    What an amazing blessing to this baby girl to have so many that adore her! Our thoughts and prayers are with her whole first family as they work through their grief. And our hearts are so full for Steven, Melissa and Oliver as they welcome Amelia to their lovely family.

  4. How Long Did You Wait? Why Abrazo?

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Hello Katie and Matt,

    I know how agonizing it can be to make such a major leap of faith. It feels strange to step out of one line, not sure if the next one is any faster, better, etc. We are from Chicago and researched local agencies, but the fit was just not right for us. I am a person who asks a lot of questions and we were afraid in a larger agency, we would be a number on a sheet. We heard about Abrazo through our doctor, as she had a patient with two placements through Abrazo. We began to research Abrazo and went into orientation unsure of the decision to fly all the way to Texas. But we knew we were in the right place by the end of the weekend. The other couples were awesome and supportive and we just knew it was right. We hadn't completed our homestudy when we attended orientation February 2010, and it took seemingly forever. May 18th we got our homestudy approval and spoke to our first 2 expectant mothers. We matched the following week. This match did not result in placement, however, we still remain in contact with this family. Three weeks later, we talked to a lovely woman and a week later we were signing entrustment papers. Our wait time from orientation was less than 5 months.

    We came back to Abrazo for orientation in February 2013 to expand our family. We literally finished our homestudy today!

    We have such a sense of peace about working with Abrazo. This is a group that cares about all aspects of the adoption triad. This is one of the most emotionally charged experiences of my life and it was paramount in my mind to have someone with experience, with compassion, and with a sense of humor. Because it is a roller coaster!!!

    We wish you the best in your journey and look forward to cheering you on from the sidelines!

  6. Selecting the right family for your baby

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    Thanks for posting this Melissa. It's so heartbreaking, but loving to read this mother's journey. Before Drake came into our lives, I really contemplated what would make a mother choose us. But I came to the same conclusion as the author, God brought us together. It's hard to remember at the time, but I hope I carry it with me on this journey.

  11. Financing An Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Oh my goodness, the horror of those words, Elizabeth. Knowing your personality, I am sure you found a way to sweetly put that fella in the right frame of mine.

    Like Scott, I guess I don't feel strongly one way or the other with fundraising. The topic of the cost of adoption comes up so much more than I imagined it would when folks find out Drake is adopted. I firmly, but politely tell inquiring minds that it is simply none of their business. I had not even considered this could be a topic that is sensitive to adoptees, so I appreciate the conversation. I love Oliver's Mimi's response!

  12. Destiny, Divine Intervention Or Wishful Thinking?

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    I have been thinking about this thread often. The other point I was struggling with was the question of when a match feels predestined, or blessed through signs. In our failed placement, MammaJ, her sister and her mother and I were all on the phone at the same time, and her brother commented on how similar our voices all are to each other. We laughed, but I think we all felt it was a sign. Then we discovered that my grandfather was from the same city in Mexico as MammaJ's grandparents. Another sign. Then that I have a great aunt named Carolina that goes by Mary, which is the same as MammaJ's mother. Big sign. When the placement failed, I questioned my judgement, and then I questioned why these people had been introduced into our lives. Of course, everything came together for us, and the right child found us, but I wonder if I will be looking for signs when we speak to expectant birth parents this time around.

    These are things I think about as we begin this new journey.

  14. Destiny, Divine Intervention Or Wishful Thinking?

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    I read this topic thread when it was first posted, but really needed to sit with it before responding. This is a topic I struggle with, "Divine planning". Although I see beautiful swaths of what I call God's plan in my own life, I wonder about the lives of others. Why would God put Drake's birthmother through the pain of being separated from her child, and why would Divine Love put Drake through the separation of his first family and the pain that will cause him. Although i am eternally grateful to have him in my life, it seems like a heavy price for others to pay, for me to have my life's greatest joy. As we begin the adoption process again, I am still cognizant of the sacrifice of others, and feel almost an embarassment of riches. But I will continue to pray about it, and do the best I can to honor the sacrifices my little boy and his firstMamma made and continue to make. I may not be able to see the big picture all of the time, but I keep the faith. I wish I had more answers, but thanks for posing these questions.

    • Upvote 3

  22. Age of adoptive parents

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    This is something I have struggled with and went into my calculations for ending fertility treatments. We knew we wanted more than one child and then we started doing the math. We expected to face some adoption age discrimination, but Drake came to us 5 months after orientation. We were really blessed. We are planning to start the adoption process again next year and it will be the last for us, although we would love to have more. Haukur is 7 years younger than I am, so age is not such a concern. I still fear that birth families will be concerned about my age, but we are leaving it to God.

    Drake is only 2, so we haven't faced these math issues yet. Haukur and I are from families of longevity. Haukur's grandmother turned 95 last month and still lives alone. My grandmother will be 92 on Halloween. Honestly, I do wish I was younger for Drake's sake, and for my own. I don't want to miss a minute of his life. We have such a nice mix of friends, several older mommies like me, several older daddies, some adopted, some not, but younger parents, too. We keep up with them all, and we will address any issues as they arise. But yes, this is definitely in my mind. I need to finish dinner and think about this some more, organize my thoughts better. Thanks for posting this article.

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