Jump to content

Jocelyn

Abrazo's Elite
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    2,296

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    42

 Content Type 

Posts posted by Jocelyn

  11. When Birthfamily Members Don't Support Adoption Choices

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    I meant to say that we would be ok with their families seeing him because he is a part of their family too. I worry for us and maybe I shouldn't and that is selfish cause N and M are the ones that are facing this every day.

    Jocelyn 1st-N-10 and BGE&s

    Thanks Melissa, glad you could post right away cause it does calm my nerves a bit. Too many emotions all around, this is tough.

    Jocelyn 1st-N-10 and BGE&s

  12. When Birthfamily Members Don't Support Adoption Choices

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    I have to say that I'm nervous about this. M and N have not told their families about the adoption and N's dad is insisting that he be able to see Micah. N and M told his parents that they cannot (their choice, we did not have anything to do with that decision) and would be ok with their families seeing him. I'm worried that I will have to face some confrontations here and don't want to. Maybe I'm letting my imagination run from me because I'm by myself the next few days. Anyone experience anything similar that can offer advice?

    Jocelyn 1st-N-10 and BGE&s

  14. The Adoption Tax Credit

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted · Edited by Jocelyn

    Scott - this was posted a little earlier in the thread:

    Thanks for all the great info. I am going to have to read through in depth. Per Melissa's post little confused if our first failed match would count as its own attempt, meaning two separate refunds since it was the same tax year and Colin's adoption won't be final until 2012.

    Guess I'll find out when we meet with accountant. Good thing I kept good records.

    Your accountant will be able to clarify this, but because some of your expenses were incurred in 2010, you can actually apply for your tax credit now (that is,if things haven't changed since we did this -- we were advised that we should go ahead and apply and not wait until the following year).

    Our situation was similar to yours - we went to orientation in 2008, took placement of Hugo in 2009, and finalized in 2010. But all of our expenses from 2008 (agency fees, orientation, travel expenses, escrow expenses, etc) added up to just shy of the credit amount, so we filed for the credit on our 2009 taxes (in 2010 - BEFORE we finalized) and got it, no problem. Then we filed for the remaining amount of the credit on our 2010 taxes, after we finalized.

    Just seemed like if we could get a chunk of the credit a year earlier, why wait? Anyway, hope this makes sense and hope your accountant is helpful!

    Given what I know about our accountant I think we should do some more research and see what we can find because last time she gave us bad info on what needed to be sent in for documentation of the credit. She's good with farm taxation but not adoption. :blink:

  20. A Birth Grandmother's Role

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    I'm sorry to hear that is happening but as Melissa and Hannah have said glad that you can be there for her.

    We found out last night that one of Scott's friends is most likely going to have chemo for testicular cancer. Kinda shocked to hear that...he's 39. You just never know what life is going to throw at you, so finding that inner strength is the best way to cope.

  21. Open Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Wow Tara, I'm glad that you found Abrazo after that experience! Yes, adoption costs money but that should never ever be a factor into whether you should place or not. Money is money, sometimes you lose some and sometimes you win some (if only any of us would be lucky enough to win the lottery). Regardless of your knowledge of adoption and the practices, I wish all agencies would have the moral code of Abrazo and be truthful with everyone involved in adoption.

  24. What is Open Adoption?

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    I agree with Melissa, too. Open adoption to me is family. Open adoption gives our son (and us) a bigger family and more people that love him. It means he gets to know all sides of his family and never question how much he is loved by each side. He gets to see who he looks like and where he gets his talents from. He gets to know his grandmas and his sisters. He gets to see his first family embrace all of us as family and us as his parents so he doesn't have to wonder if this is really what they thought was best. None of this would be possible without open adoption.

    Each open adoption relationship will be different, just as each other kind of relationship is different, but I think every open adoption will allow the child/ren to benefit from knowing all sides of their family.

    I agree with this as well. People ask us about our relationship with Landon's birthfamily and the best answer I have is that it feels like family. And by that I mean that I see them as the same way I see my sister or my in-laws or my cousins ans so on. They are just part of the family, it doesn't matter to me that they came into our lives a couple years ago and as a result of adoption.

    I also think that embracing open adoption does help open my eyes to be more accepting of others and their situations. I still fall into gossip and may make some comments about certain people or things, but I consciously know that this is happening less and less and that I'm trying to put myself in that person's situation before judging them on something. I think adoption had something to do with that...but I also think just raising a child and being forced to focus on someone other than myself has helped tremendously. When I look at Landon and he's being goofy or says something that just makes me smile, it makes me realize that the petty thing I was gossiping about or the irritation with a co-worker over a small issue really isn't that important. I think having a child now has helped me get past some of those things. I still have times when I need to vent or when I'm frustrated but I feel like I worry less about things I can't control and more about things that I can control.

    • Upvote 1

  25. Open Adoption

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    I responded with some more information, and she emailed me back "Can you just give me the name of the agency where you got your baby?" :o She made my skin crawl and I flat out told her that I would NOT give her the name of the agency we used because she was not an appropriate fit with them.

    Thank you for protecting your agency and its birthparents!!

    I agree! People talk to us often about adoption and ask for agency info because they are looking or know someone looking. We always let them know that Abrazo wants couples that want an open adoption and we can now add our personal experiences as an example. Open adoption is a hard concept in the beginning but I think it's just because of the unknown...but you have to be willing to learn more about it and open your minds and hearts to what it means. And people should be truthful with what they really want and find the right fit.

×
×
  • Create New...