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vanfam

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Posts posted by vanfam

  5. Medical Insurance Coverage & Requirements

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Just putting in my two cents...I worked as an insurance agent for 14 years and just left the industry in April, so this info should be fairly accurate.

    The first thing to remember is that all of this info is general - the laws and the coverage will differ from state to state and company to company. As an adoptive parent, the laws of your state (noth the birth state) will be the ones that come in to play. Very few companies will provide coverage at birth since you have not legally become responsible for the child. Prior to actual placement, you have no legal tie to that child, it's a good-faith contract that the birthmother will place her child with you, or for that matter, that you will accept the child. (Let's be honest, placement may not happen for any number of reasons on either side.) Once placement occurs, a company MAY agree to provide retro-active coverage back to the date of birth - again, this will vary from company to company and it's always best to call your hotline to find out. As for the social security number, if you explain the situation to you company they will be able to make an exception. Adoptions do not need to be finalized for coverage to occur - that really should be nationwide. Also, if there are pre-existing health issues (preemie, jaundice, etc) your company should be covering those costs from the time of placement, again, if you KNOW that there will be health issues, double check with your company. But, it shouldn't be a problem since most companies look at placement date just as they would a birth date.

    Hope this helps.

  6. Positive Adoption Language Primer

    in The Family Room

    Posted

    the part that hit home is that as an infertile woman, there is a lot of guilt in taking a perfect child from a woman and causing her pain....even if she feels it "is best" as she puts it. these writings re-lit the feelings of terror that i am profiting at someones loss....which I am....but because I was asked too. although I prayed for it...

    Lori - I think that the guilt is normal, and in a way, healthy. There are days when I'm horror-stricken about how Rosa must have felt knowing that some complete stranger was going to be raising her daughter. On those same days, I feel guilty and also incredibly grateful. I will never be able to clearly express those feelings to anyone that hasn't been through a similar experience - which is why it's nice for all of us to have each other. The worst days, for me and I would imagine for Rosa too, are Elena's birthday and the day we brought her home. It's a very odd situation to have the happiest of days also bring on guilt. My guess is, if we didn't have the love and respect for these amazing women, then we wouldn't feel the guilt...guess I'm ok with feeling it when you look at it that way. I don't know if this is helpful, but I wanted you to know that you're not alone.

    faith

  10. NEW PARENTS NEEDED!

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Is this "NEED FOR CHILDLESS COUPLES" a result of birthmother requests?

    Matt and Melinda from MT

    I can only offer what I understand...as a general "rule" birthmoms tend to favor families that don't already have children. It's not because they want they're child to be an only child, just possibly the first child. We are one of the waiting families that already have a child - and we haven't had many phone calls from interested birthmoms. (I really hope that it's not because our profile stinks!) Elizabeth did tell us that "It will happen" but for most families that are already raising children it tends to take longer to be matched. There was a post in the "New parents needed" thread that talked a little more about the reasoning.

    Faith

  13. NEW PARENTS NEEDED!

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted · Edited by vanfam

    I wasn't closed to the idea of a childless couple, but I realized I wanted a family that had "been there" once I started looking at the profiles. It helped me to see how Angie and Wade parented their older boys, and to know that they already had kids that were turning out fine. I know that not all parents considering placing feel that way, it always seemed to me like most of the other women wanted to give someone the chance to be a first time parent or wanted the exclusive attention of being an only child (however temporary) for their baby. I always assumed it was just one of those preferences that people have, but it would be really neat to know if that does link to something. I wonder if there are any kind of polls or studies about this.

    Thanks Kristal! As the mother to a 4 year old daughter and an Abrazo "PIW , it's encouraging to know we will be the "right" family for someone!

    Faith

  17. Celebrity Adoptions

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    The media takes every opportunity to drive home their point that children adopted by you and born to you are not the same.

    I've noticed this, too - and it always bothers me. I have noticed though that certain media outlets (like People magazine) have stopped pointing this out and now just identifies the kids as so-and-so's children. Hopefully they will start a new trend.

  19. Paper work

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Our time frame was about 3 weeks for a response. We sent in our paperwork in October and we're attending the November orientation! Good luck with whenever you choose to get things going. You'll know when the time feels right.

    Faith

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