Garden of Hope
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Like everyone else, I have been saddened and somewhat sobered by all the prayers requests for our extended Abrazo family that are written in another thread. We are earnestly lifting up those in need as the New Year begins ...
To put a small bright spot in the midst of all the darkness, I have my own special praise to lift up today as 2007 begins -- I rec'd the results of my labwork that show I am still in remission (6 years now!) with that nasty 'ole Hepatitis C virus!
Thank you, God, from whom ALL my blessings flow! AMEN!
AWESOME NEWS, KAREN!!
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Nichole,
Abrazo has a wonderful saying, "It's not if, but when". So, as soon as your inquiry is reviewed and accepted, don't waste any time in getting the packet filled out. You will need a letter from your physician confirming the diagnosis of infertility, a recent physical, letter from insurance confirming that they will cover an adopted child at time of placement, and of course, begin your homestudy. If you have those things in the works then whatever agency you go with , you'll be ahead of the "game". And remember, the faster you return all the required paperwork and documentation, the faster you'll be on your way to parenthood. If you are open to a variety of ethnicities, your wait could be much shorter as well.
Once again, welcome to the Abrazo Forum. We're glad you're here.
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Here's another Texas' mother's real-life tale of placing her daughter for adoption then reuniting with that child: Shar's Story.
Great link, thanks!
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Here's a treasure, for all our beloved single parents out there who have adopted: it's an award-winning radio documentary called Dear Birthmother. Give it a listen and share your thoughts!
I found it, but couldn't get it to play. I'll have to try later when I'm in more of a techno mode.
I loved the picture, though. What a precious little one and what a wonderful beginning for mom.
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Well, our check was cashed on Tuesday. I am taking that as sign that things are moving along in TX. I have spent the past week looking at pics and trying to "plan" our profile. Rich is upset, he thinks he looks "like a nerd" in the pictures. I think he look great! I have found him, at least twice, staring at the pictures. After asking him numerous times, why he keeps looking at them, he finally replied, "I am trying to pretend that I do not know us and figure out if I would like us." He's so cute! He's a lawyer, so he's very analytical and looks at everything from all sides. This is going to be a very interesting ride!!! Kristin
I chuckled when I read your post. It's a little known, or widely known, I'm not sure, fact that some Abrazo couples have actually "staged" their photos taking them in all in one day with many clothing changes and location changes. Maybe your hubby would like to go on a photo shoot and practice looking in a manner he would consider "non-nerdy"!!!!! Just a thought.
I think birthmoms will notice your sense of humor and think you are smart. (Lawyer, they have to be "smart," right?) Everyone worries about how birthparents will see their profiles, but it is true that if you create them to reflect the real essence of you as a couple and as individuals the "right" birthmom will be drawn to it and will begin a conversation with you. At that point it's up to the interactions to solidify the feelings and drive what comes next. Remember, the birthparents worry about what you will think of them, too. It's sort of like dating. Getting to know you................
We're all rooting for you.
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My extended family knew nothing about the adoption until May 2005 when my grandfather passed away. On his tombstone he wanted the names of all his grandkids and Nicholas and Grace's name went on it even though he never met them and lots of the extended family was wondering who they were . It was not a time to talk about it but I think that most of them now know.
I've always heard "the truth will set you free," and your story is proof. What a special man your grandfather was to have all of his grandchildren on his marker. What a bittersweet affirmation of his love for you as well. Thank you for sharing.
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Congratulations to the newest Abrazo family and the awesome birthmom that made it all possible. Blessings upon all of you for a continued perfect match that lasts a lifetime.
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and, for what it's worth..these are the numbers i was given to contact where i tracked down our resuts (let's just say, it isn't exactly a streamlined process)
i first contacted Identix via their 1 888 number, she referred me to DPS at 512-424-5079 and he was able to determine when they/he transmitted the results to DFPS...ideally, you need to give him a TCN# for him to look it up (I have no idea what that is or how you get one, I *think* Identix is supposed to give it to you). Anyway, he was able to locate it w/Lance's name. He then referred me to DFPS 512-99-6478 and I spoke to someone there who confirmed they had the results, just somehow hadn't sent them to Abrazo.
Not sure if these will always be the appropriate numbers to contact...but they're the ones I was given and they worked for me, today (may save you a call to Identix who I find to be truly quite rude
I would definitely start chasing it down if it's been more than a couple of weeks...my 2 cents.
Lisa
I'm thinking that the 512 numbers would work for Texas residents, but maybe not out of state folks.
Just my guess, though.
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So, we finally sent in our inquiry and are waiting to hear...SO excited to finally be starting this process!!!
Congratulations on your completion of your inquiry. You're one step closer to parenthood!
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Jean
I thought the same thing when I read it! Thank goodness times have changed!
Thank goodness ...
I can live......in house in West Virginia...with a dog ....and tons of power rangers... and two gorgeous boys call my own
!Yes you can!!! Praise the Lord!
Just remember, this poem probably predated America's orphan trains... but the sad truth is that children were bought and sold throughout world history, more often than even the history books probably admit!
And sadly, I'm afraid, continues to this day even more than anyone probably wants to admit. Such a travesty in history and the black market continuing through current day.
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Very well said Nita.
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As the excitement remains, I personally feel an amazing calm, warmth, and peace.
Mandy,
You are absolutely glowing in your picture, with proud Daddy Dane by your side. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when Kaitlyn and Emma meet for the first time.
Your pming buddy,
Jean
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One of the things that makes adoption professionals roll our eyes is when well-meaning adoptive applicants try to justify their demand for a "perfectly-healthy newborn, only" by saying "of course we would've gladly consider a special needs child, if only..." IF we were not already raising other kids who need our attention too... IF we were experienced parents... IF this were our first adoption... IF we were not adopting for the first time... IF I were a single parent with fewer demands on our lives... IF I had a spouse to help me... IF we had more family living close by... IF our family didn't live so close by... IF we made more money... IF we didn't make so much money so we could qualify for more assistance programs... IF we had a larger home... IF we didn't work fulltime... IF my spouse and I both had fulltime jobs with benefits... IF our home were not so large and didn't have a pool a handicapped child could fall into... etc., etc., etc.)
Here's a touching news story about one blessed child who "broke the if barrier" and did get "picked," despite the fact that many adoptive parents would've passed her by and not "chosen" to provide her a loving home because of her infirmities: Rianna's Big Steps.
Kudos to the courageous family who had already suffered so great a loss yet opened their hearts to a tiny child who needed a good home, no matter what "ifs" her future may hold.
I think we all should acknowledge their courage and example by purchasing at least one calendar per family. What do ya'll think? Thanks for the link, Elizabeth. You have a great eye for fabulous and appropriate articles!
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The concept of single parenting is reflected throughout history, from the days of Moses being adopted by the Egyptian princess, through this nineteenth century children's poem:
If No One Ever Marries MeIf no one ever marries me -
And I don't see why they should,
For Nurse says I'm not pretty,
And I'm seldom very good -
If no one ever marries me
I shan't mind very much,
I shall buy a squirrel in a cage
And a little rabbit-hutch;
I shall have a cottage near a wood,
And a pony all my own
And a little lamb, quite clean and tame,
That I can take to town.
And when I'm getting really old,
(At twenty-eight or nine)
I shall buy a little orphan-girl
And bring her up as mine.
--Laurence Alma-Tadema
Interesting poem. I am glad we live in a day and time/country where it is possible to own a cottage near a wood and the squirrel in the cage, etc. However the out of date words, "buy a little orphan-girl" made me cringe.
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What a precious picture of the proud parents and gorgeous new little sister of Jordan. Let the fun begin!! Congratulations!
Elizabeth,
I love your announcement posts. Thanks for another perfect synopsis!.
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Sabrina,
That is fantastic! I cannot imagine returning a child nor thinking they are posessed!
You and your boys will be a blessing to the church community, too.
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Thanks for the link, Elizabeth. I found the article to ring true.
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Motherlove,
Welcome to the forum. We are an adoption community and really function more like family. I have only glowing things to say about Abrazo, but why not call them and see for yourself. They will listen, counsel, assist and help you sort through things to come to the decision that you can see is right for you. The Abrazo ladies are nonjudgemental, caring, and most important not going to push you in any one direction. They will be there for you and support you whatever decision you make. Let us know how you are doing. We all care.
Jean
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Hey, Grandma Sharron... I brought my boys up to visit Grandpa for the weekend, and I was showing him the photos of Abrazo's latest arrivals... when we came to the picture of your daughter and son-in-law, my dad (who's a rather traditional, stoic German, with not much to say unless he's got something worth saying) suddenly remarked, "my, that's a beautiful baby!"
So I think you have the official right to march through the airport this afternoon, singing "Yes, Sir, That's My Baby! (No, sir, I don't mean maybe...)"
Oh MY GOODNESS!!! Can I tell you the airport experience was amazing. People would come up to us and ask to take pictures of us with their camaras because they thought it was the coolest thing. We had a quiet riot of pink signsand balloons waiting for Abagail oh and Mommy and Daddy to. Then went to Abagails house for yet more people, she was passed around all day like a football and not a peep out of her, she is of course wonderful and did I mention beautiful? I'm sure Colleen will be posting soon. Take care,Sharron
I loved what you said about experiencing a love you never knew existed. That sums up parenting/adoption for me. What a lucky girl Abagail is to have such loving people all around her. Congrats to all the branches of Abagail's tree!
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Excellent post, Lisa. I am not able to watch Oprah (schedule, no Tivo, etc) but through your words I feel as though I have gained a bit of insight into a frightened expectant mother's world. Thank you for being brave enough to post this. I know it takes much courage to "put yourself out there" and I appreciate it. I think you are probably correct in your conclusion as well. It is very difficult not to feel sorry for her and at the same time to feel anger about the path she chose to take as well. I'm glad Lance is such a supportive mate and will be there for you. I thought it was such a sweet and powerful statement of your love and trust for each other that you asked him to watch with you and that he gladly complied. Give that hubby a gold star! Once again, thank you Lisa for putting an issue in a new light and helping us to better understand what might have been going on in this case.
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Hi,
My name is Jean. I am a 42 year old divorced professional woman. I have been through ten years of trying to conceive and unsuccessful infertility treatments. My ex-husband and I made an adoption plan with two birthmothers that did not culminate in a successful placement (with another agency). A myriad of things lead me to become a single woman, but in all that time, the one thing that never wavered is my desire to parent. After much soul searching, prayer, and discussion with family and friends, I have decided to follow my dream of becoming a mom. I have submitted my inquiry, application, and preference for orientation weekend to Abrazo. I am gathering photographs and mentally planning my Dear Birthmother Profile. Yes, I am a miracle seeker and a believer that dreams do come true. I was wondering if there are any other singles who are working to build their families through adoption. I welcome any responses. (single or not)
May God Bless you in your search,
Jean
And there you have it. That was my first post. I remember being nervous that adoptive couples might resent me and see me as undeserving competition. Just shows you how little I understood about the "family" bond between PIW. The thing that strikes me about this post is its very close proximity to Nathan's birthdate (9-9-02). Here I was posting about my dreams and plans to become a mom and M. was close to delivery of a son she loved but could not raise. A coincidence? I don't think so. And now as I watch him playing across the room from me with a fresh Mommy haircut and snuggles to boot, I think nothing here is left to chance. Perhaps M. and I are never to meet, but I feel such gratitude and love toward her for the choices she made and the beautiful little boy she nurtured and carried until he was able to survive outside of her body. Then the loving social workers of Abrazo took over and placed him in the capable and prayful hands/home of Gloria and Hugo. I'll never forget Gloria telling me that she and Hugo prayed over Nathan and asked God to guide him to the home that HE had selected. Nathan was to go to Dallas as the son of a physician, but for some unknown reason, he did not. Gloria and Hugo were uneasy when they learned that the baby boy they'd nurtured and loved was going to a single caucasian woman. She continued on and told me that as soon as she saw me, she knew that I was Nathan's mom. I still get goose bumps when I think of that. We are so insignificant, but when we listen to God, we have such a powerful impact on those we come into contact with. I believe that my son was destined to be mine. I believe that God is caring for M. and giving her comfort. And that He is watching over my little one and me. Shaking his head, sometimes as He observes Nathan pretending to be a puppy dog or kitty cat, chuckling as he gives me a run for my money, and sighing a loving all knowing sigh as I cradle Nathan in my arms and tell him I the love that I feel for him. You're right Lisa, it's really cool to look back and recall the thoughts and feelings at the time of the post. Thanks for the great look back into history, the history of the making of the Henry family, that is!!
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I agree with Martha. I get really sick of hearing this when I know differently. Sometimes I think people are going to believe what they want to believe. It is frustrating to try and combat misinformation especially when it is carried far and wide by a supposedly reliable source (AP) I sincerely want to see you, Elizabeth, on Oprah dispelling the myths and ignorace related to domestic and open adoption. I never see Oprah, but she seems to have a mighty wide audience. A response to the article would also be gratifying, but that's a lot of letters to cover all the places that article appeared.
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"Him?" (Stork Central)
I think Stork Central may be attending an adoption related conference absorbing information and networking with others to assure continued current, cutting edge service to the adoption community at large.
Of course, I could be wrong...............
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We received a letter from Abrazo letting us know that we were not accepted into the full service program but would be accepted into the "Designated" program. Has anyone had success with the Designated program? What does the fee cover? Are there advantages to use this vs. doing your own advertising?
Any information would be helpful as we are very surpised and confused by this news.
Thanks
Hi Jean and Kevin,
My suggestion would be to call and talk with Angela or Elizabeth. Have her/them explain the program and outline the reasons that the agency determined this was the best way for them to serve you. It has been my experience and my understanding that Abrazo accepts families into their various programs based on the family's needs and Abrazo's expected needs. They are very careful to only accept the number of families that they can reasonably expect to place in twelve months. For example, if you are a family with children already, they may feel that their pool of waiting families that fit that description is at the maximum to place within 12 months. Like I said, your fastest and easiest way to understanding is to contact the agency and ask the questions. It has been my experience that they will shoot from the hip and tell you like it is! Best of luck in your adoption journey!!
INQUIRY
in Looking to Adopt
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Congratulations on being ahead of the game and on top of things. Remember, if you have everything in, sometimes the angels smile on you and you place BEFORE you attend orientation. We call that group "tweeners" and I am a tweener from 2002. So, full steam ahead and don't look back!