Garden of Hope
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Congratulations to the newest Abrazo family. The baby is precious and her proud big sis and birthmom, too. Congratulations to everyone!
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I think that all adoptions should be on a level playing field to all. If there is one baby and 2 families interested, then the "star" couple should not be the one to automatically get that child. However, in this case how many families are waiting on a 4 year old child from Vietnam??? Or a seriously ill little girl from Ethiopia who could have died???? I happen to think Angelina Jolie is awesome and she does so much for children everywhere. IF there were other couple waiting for this little boy and she pushed her way past them....shame on her.....but thats probably not the case.
Here is a little more from the article I quoted yesterday.
"Personally I prefer to stay on the right side of the law. I would never take a child away from a place where adoption is illegal" --Part of an interview with a French magazine in response to the "Madonna scandal.
I was very glad to read this article which outlined that Angelina Jolie had done the paperwork and had followed all the procedures. If she chooses to donate money to the orphanage, that's wonderful, too. I hope she supports children's causes state side, too. I have no knowledge as to whether she does or not.
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Us magazine has an article about the adoption plan. What follows are quotes from the article.
"It's a Boy!"
Adoption officials confirm Brad and Angelina are bringing home a 4-year-old son from Vietnam.
"We would be very happy if a child here can be adopted," Nguyen Van Trung, director of the Tam Binh orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City, told a local Vietnamese newspaper.
"On March 1, Vu Duc Long, head of the Ministry of Justice for Vietnam, confirmed to Us that his agency received from Jolie-who just returned from a trip to the African nation of Chad to galvanize support for Sudanese refugees-an application via an American adoption agency to adopt a 4-year-old boy from the Tam Binh orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City. This is the second stage of a Vietnamese adoption. Jolie, as first reported by Us, filed the first set of paperwork to the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services during a January 18-19 trip to Vietnam, according to an insider close to the adoption. 'The kid is normal, healthy, and very good-looking,' says the Vietnamese source, adding that Jolie-who sub\mitted the requisite paperwork as a single parent because Vietnamese law mandates that an unmarried couple can't adopt a child together--and Pitt, 43, have asked that the name of the boy be kept confidential. (He is about one year younger than Maddox, 5, who was born in neighboring Cambodia)
"As for how long until the newest memeber of the Brangelina posse can move into the couple's #3.5 million New Orleans mansion, the adoption procedure takes no more than four months, says Nguyen Cong Khanh, the depty head of the country's International Adoption Department. And the A-list actress won't be given any preferential treatment. '[Jolie] will have to follow preocedure like any other American,' Long tells Us. 'No priority will be given to them. They will be treated equally as any other people'. There may an added incentive to rush things along, 'She promised to give #2 million to the Tam Binh orphanage on the very day she receives the child,' the Vietnamese insider rtess Us. Of note: The actual adoption fee is only about $125." (Jolie's rep didn't respond to a request for comment; Pitt's rep had no comment.)
"Jolie publicly hinted at an impending adoption in December, telling Diane Sawyer that the biggest challenge was determining what country to adopt from. 'You know, now the questions are more when you have a mixed-race family, do you balance the races so there's another African person in the house for Z?' she said, referring to Ehiopia-born Zahara, 2. 'So there's another Asian person in the house for Madd? Shiloh has Brad and me that she can look at.'"
"But Jolie may have actually first become acquainted with her future son back in November, when she and Pitt visited the Tam Binh orphanage during Thanksgiving. 'The couple passed out toys to the orphans, who were very happy and responsive,' anemployee at the orphanage, who shared a meal with the pair, tells Us. Did they pay special attention to anyone in particular? 'They played with all the kids,' says the orphanage worker, but speculates that the boy Jolie is adopting may have met with his new mom during her January trip, at an off-site location."
"There's no question that Pitt and Jolie, who have always taken a very hands-on approach to parenting, will expertly handle their fourth child. 'Brad and Angelina are very down-to-earth people,' Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, the director of the acclaimed drama Babel, in which Pitt starred, recently told Us. 'It is great they are adopting more kids....They are doing what they need to do.' And the A-list couple's work never gets in the way of their family. Case in point: Pitt recently brought Shiloh to the New Orleans set of his new fantasy drama, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and toted her around the neighborhood on his shoulders to meet other local children. 'He does on all of his kids,' an eye-witness tells Us. 'He's great with them-patient and calm. He was made to be a dad, that's for sure'.
I'm not going to "proof" this, so I apologize in advance for any typos.
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Congratulations to the newest Abrazo birthfamily, Abrazo Babe, and Adoptive Mom and Dad!
Miracles and blessings beyond our wildest dreams.
Praise God!
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I think she should have to abide by the same rules as everyone else. There are lots of other places that will consider singles as adoptive parent(s).
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Hi Jenny,
Abrazo is very practical about the invitations for orientation. They look at their pool of expectant birthmoms, their pool of adoptive parents, and their projections for both in the upcoming months. That is how how they determine the types of families they can reasonably expect to place within a 12 month period. The best way to get the most correct answers to your questions is to call and talk to Angela at Abrazo. She can give you all the most up to date information. Adoption is totally a case by case situation. One never knows where the journey will take you. (Fast track? Detours? Scenic route?) Just keep the faith and know that you have selected the best agency in the country.
Hugs,
Jean
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God was there last week when the test results came in.
He knew already what the doctors and patient couldn't predict, yet. So early Sunday morning, on His day of rest, He summoned that beloved grandpa Home.
"Well done, my good and faithful servant," God welcomed him, as heaven's golden gates swung open.
"Wait just one moment, if you don't mind," said His guest, looking back towards earth. "My boy comes by each Sunday, Father, and I didn't get the chance today to say how much I love him, before checking out."
God lovingly pondered this request. What message could He send, to truly depict the extent of this father's unending love for his son? A rainbow? A burning bush? A bright-shining star? He thought up something divine, then smiled gently. "Consider it done," God decided, as only God can.
And miraculously: that very morning in Texas, a beautiful baby boy was born. For mere mortals, the timing may have seemed unfortunate, but for this grandpa and the son he loved so, this was the perfect gift of love for his family; a holy message of assurance that life is not merely ending-- but beginning anew.
May they each rejoice in the promise of new life; glean comfort from precious memories; and find hope for the future in the fresh little face of their newborn son, who carries on not just his grandpa's name but his dreams, as well. Blessings, all!
Wow, Elizabeth. What a touching announcement. God has blessed this special family with a new baby boy and HE has blessed you with the gift of words.
CONGRATULATIONS DEBRA, MAURY AND BIG SISTER SAMANTHA. I am so happy for you. What a precious gift sent specifically to you from your heavenly fathers. PRAISE GOD!
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Welcome Jenny and Shawn!
Abrazo is the BEST! Stamp that envelope and send in that inquiry asap!!! Call the "girls" at Abrazo and talk to anyone and everyone. They're all great. Angela is the adoptive parent coordinator, though and Elizabeth is the number one diva/director. (All kidding aside--CALL) You'll be glad you did!
Jean
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Precious family. Congratulations!
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I agree Karen, Hooray for all the Dad's that make it so their kids KNOW that no matter what they have the support that they need.
And Jean, hugs girl! Thanks. I try to be level headed, but it is a struggle. I attribute that to having a sister who was the "bee knees" and who even after she passed when I was 10, I knew what she would have done & went with that. Amen for all those siblings who really do raise the younger ones.
Bless your heart, Lisa. You have a personal guardian angel who is the bee's knees. (Love that)
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Lisa,
How wonderful that you and your dad and his wife have a positive and ongoing relationship with your child's adoptive parents. I was struck by the loyality the AP feel toward you and the support they show through their approach to dealing with your mom's contact attempts. How sad she can't just "buck up" and approach it differently to have a positive relationship there and with her birth grandchild.
Somebody did something right as you have grown up pretty smart and level headed! Thanks for sharing that part of yourself.
Hugs,
Jean
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Congratulations on your precious little bundle of blue!!!
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You are SO SMART, Elizabeth!
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Love the tears of joy. Awesome family photo!!! CONGRATULATIONS!
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....We found them out in Idaho, land of fish, game and trees,
....They couldn't make orientation, with all the paperwork they had to do,
....So, come meet them at Camp Abrazo.....
....."Congrats" to our newest family and the daughter they met, today.
Well, We're not from Idaho, we did attend Orientation, and we are not headed to Camp Abrazo.. All that factored with the fact that we haven't yet matched says "IT'S NOT US"
Congrats to whoever's family just grew in size today
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NEWEST ABRAZO FAMILY!!!!!!!!! SOME THINGS ARE JUST MEANT TO BE.
Now Adam, WHY AREN'T YOU COMING TO CAMP????
WE ALL WANT TO ENJOY YOUR HUMOR IN PERSON AND WE CERTAINLY WANT TO MEET THE NEWEST IDAHO ABRAZO FAMILY.
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I was having a random stream of thought this morning, about how the adoption process could almost be compared to a very strange version of "Deal or No Deal?" (Bear with me-- I don't mean to be irreverent--so please hear me out.)
It as if each couple comes to us already gripping a silver briefcase with unknown content, one they believe holds the specifications of their biological dreamchild, the one they never knew.
On the steps before them stand an array of beautiful women, all holding matching silver briefcases. Each woman is different, yet stunning in her own right. Each graciously allows others to scrutinize her without complaint; she then must reveal the entire content of her silver case upon demand.
Each of the womens' silver cases contains a different baby's case scenario, which the couple reviews upon selection; they consider the pros and cons, assessing each against the specs of what they think is described within their case.
Do they hit the button and shout "Deal!" on the very first one? Hold out to see what else may be out there? Wait until the very end, deciding "No Deal" on everything offered, banking on the odds that the case they already have holds the ideal? Do they find the baby of their dreams? Or end up going home with exactly what they came with?
From up in the booth overhead, the Agency can observe the scene arrayed below, but its ability to influence the outcome is limited to the adoptive parents' receptiveness to its offers. The Agency doesn't know the exact contents of any of the cases in advance, but it is aware that what is contained within the adopting parents' suitcase is not actually the profile of their biological dreamchild, like they think.
Instead, it is a prospectus analyzing that couple's actual parenting potential that is hidden from public view. The role of the Agency, as the authority (or "banker") in this matter, is to somehow negotiate a compatible match between the adopting couple's expectations, their unseen parenting potential, and whichever case they finally decide to accept.
Is it merely a game of chance? Or a matter of fate? Can savvy participants influence the odds somehow? To what extent should participants rely on the advice shouted from the audience? Which friends or family members will you opt to include in your round? Do the lovely ladies on the steps hold greater relevance than just being the vessel by which each offer is delivered? What factors will be most important to your decision-making process, when it's your turn to answer the question: "Deal? Or no deal?"
Great comparison/illustration, Elizabeth and so to the heart of things. Well said.
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Well, since no one has "stepped up to the plate" I guess I will be the first!
My BIG mistake was not getting Catherine on a "schedule." You know, like waking her up at the same time each day, feeding her at the same time, nap at the same time, bath and bed at the same time. Since I decided to quit work when she was 6 months old (and I was only working part-time anyway when we took placement, evenings and weekends) I just kind of "pooh pooh'ed" the whole schedule idea.
Of course for baby's first 4-6 months, they are going to eat and sleep based on their bodies' needs. I fully believe in "feeding on demand" for the first 4 months (not OVER feeding, but feeding when baby tells you they are hungry.) But at about the 5-6 month point, it is totally possible to put baby on a schedule. Catherine's pediatrician even wrote out a precise schedule for me at the 6 month check-up....what time SHE wanted her to wake up, how many ounces of juice SHE wanted her to have, when SHE wanted her to go down for a nap etc (at least that's how I saw it....I was OUT of the decision making loop. And I will add, this is not the pediatrician we have now....I love our Doctor we have now, and wish I had found this pediatrics practice sooner.)
So I didn't even try the schedule, I think I threw it away before I even left the building! I let Catherine set her own schedule....if she wanted to take a nap at 6pm and then stay up till 11pm, I let her. If she wanted to sleep until 10am the next morning, I let her. Sometimes she didn't get breakfast until 10:30am. I figured that since I was staying home with her anyway, she didn't need to be scheduled. And because I never put her in her crib while still awake and let her learn to "soothe" herself to sleep (ie cry it out!) I was still rocking her to sleep when she was 4 years old! And when she got too big to rock, I would sit with her in the rocking chair and watch the 24 hour PBS Kids station (Barney, Teletubbies, Clifford, etc) until she fell asleep.
Well....when Catherine was 4 and 5 years old, and still up and running around at 11pm....I realized my resistance to adopting a schedule early on was a BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It especially hit home when I discussed the bedtime issue with some other moms in my Mother's Enrichment Group. These were all stay-at-home moms. One mom was an elementary school teacher who choose to stay home with her 2 kids. Her children were ready for bed by 7:30pm....in fact if it got too much past 7:30 they were BEGGING to go to bed! I asked her how she did it. She said "I get them up by 6:30am every morning." Now, you have to understand this mom was a VERY organized, very scheduled type of person. She got up at 5am, was waiting at the Health Club when they opened the doors at 5:30, got in a good 45 minute workout, then made it home before her husband left for work. She was in bed herself asleep by 9pm each night. Her children ate breakfast at the same time each day, snack and lunch at the same time, had their play time, nap time, bath and bed at the same time each day. Her kids knew what to expect, and they were ready for it.
Well, believe me it's extremely difficult to put a 5 year old on a schedule, who has been allowed to set her own schedule for the past 5 years. And to be honest, it's because I did not want to be scheduled. I wanted to sleep in (or at least stay in bed) until 9am, I wanted to do things when I felt like doing them. So, I am reaping what I sowed. I have a child who does not want to go to bed at night, and who will only stay in bed if one of us lies down with her. I have a child who resists getting up in the morning for school (but who, on the weekends, will be wide awake at 8am insisting WE get up.) I have a child who only wants to snack and not eat properly at meal times, because I did not have her meals ready at the same time each and every day. Every evening it's a struggle to get her into bed by 8:30...which becomes 9 then 9:30pm. Every morning it's a struggle to get her out of bed at 6:30am, which becomes 6:45, which becomes 7:00, which becomes "Catherine, you're going to be late for school! COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I could have never in my wildest dreams imagined that my lack of focus, preparation and organization would continue to have repercussions 8 years later.
So, my advice....MAKE A SCHEDULE EARLY ON, AND STICK TO IT!!!! I didn't, and I regret it now, BIG TIME!
Martha,
Thank you for your honest and heartfelt post. I could substitute my name and Nathan's into your post with the except of rocking him to sleep. I loved to rock him when he was little, but he was put to sleep in the crib when he was still awake and he would go to sleep on his own.
You and I have to be the tag team support for each other here. Nathan is 4 and I have just now (Since Dec. 27) instituted a bedtime. Currently he has to be in bed by 9. I know that's late by most standards, but I had to start somewhere and being that we often don't even get home til 7, it was doable at this point. I have often said, "I have no sense of time." When I taught I would sometimes set a timer to keep myself on track. I don't eat at a scheduled time. I try to avoid eating, and try to eat when I am hungry. In the last couple of years, Nathan never seems to want to eat. He is a snacker, though. I am moving toward a better stance on this as well. SO, sister.......thanks for posting my biggest parenting mistake and together, we can turn it around. ARe you with me on this one?
I work from 9:30-5:30, basically because I'd rather sleep in the morning. (Sound familiar?) I keep thinking that if I can get both of us on a better schedule then I could go in early, get out early, and then Nathan and I would have time to play at home which would help him to feel more ready to go to bed. (He's forever saying, "I want to pway." I tell him, "You played all day." "No," he says, "I want to pway here.")
I've also noticed how drastically his mood is altered when he misses the 9:00 bedtime by very much. The earlier bedtime has seemed to improve his attitude toward eating as well.
So, if you're a parent and you hear people talk about getting the baby on a schedule, listen.
I am an educated person, I've worked with children all my life, and I know better, but I couldn't for the longest time get past my own personal habits/preferences. Well..............say good bye to the old and in with the new.
PS. The children who beg to go to bed. Sometimes it has more to do with their personal sleep needs than the schedule. I have a friend who had her kids in bed by 7, but she said it was just what they had to have. She wanted to keep them up and they just wouldn't stay awake. Sometimes they'd try to hide or sneek off to their beds to go to sleep before their bedtime!!!!
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I wrote a poem tonight when I was thinking about my boys and how blessed I am...
(not sure if this was the right place to post it)
Is'nt it beautiful?How was I to know how beautiful the painting was to be?
You see a masterpiece was being created for me...
with each stroke of his brush done lovingly
the artist used a rainbow of colors for my family.
Isn't it beautiful?
Van Gogh and Monet were some of the greats....
But, it was for the master I decided to wait...
A painting so divine...the colors so grand...
done according to the master's plan
Isn't it beautiful?
There are so many choices in this rainbow of life
How could he know which colors are right?
I did not choose the time or the day...
I sat back waited for the Father to say...
your masterpiece is complete now handle with care...
Isn't it beautiful?
As I look at this painting done for me with love
I give thanks to the Father from up above
This masterpiece was created for me...
It's a rainbow of love called my family...
Isn't it beautiful?
It is beautifully glorious!
Sorry I missed your call this evening. I'll catch up to you in a day or two.
Hugs,
Jean
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That's great news!!!!!!
My goodness do I wish I were ready for number 3!!! (no I am not thinking about it) but, I wish I could!
Right there with you, Sabrina!!
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Hello!
My name is Jen and I have been obsessed with this forum for 3 days now. My husband and I have decided to adopt. We are 26 and 27 and I am infertile. We are tired of hearing "wait till your older it will happen"! I am a teacher and I feel that I LOVE so many children from all kinds of families...I have always known I can open my heart to an adopted child who would be my very own. Well I really just wanted to say HI! and that we are planning to attend the March orientation if we get all our ducks in a row. We are sending our pre-app this week and hope to hear back soon. I also am contacting a social worker next week to get a homestudy done. Does anyone know how many visits or how soon this can be done?
Welcome Jen!
Why wait til March? You could be parents by then. See if you can get your paperwork and pen on the fast track and attend in January. Usually, the more open you are, the faster your dream comes true. Just wanted to say WELCOME and tell you that if you are open and meet the requirements, it's only a matter of when you become parents not if.
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I'm with you guys on this one. It's agonizing to have such wonderful homes as we do, ready and waiting for a baby to love... but not these babies. Not because they're not loveable, not because they're not healthy. It comes down to one thing, and one thing only. And we all know what that is.
Ask any one of Abrazo's waiting families and they'll tell you they would gladly accept any child, if only...
If their spouses were okay with it. If their relatives were more open. If their neighborhoods were more accepting. If their community was less prejudiced. If their first child were white. If their first child had been multiracial. The reasons they "can't" are (ironically) limitless.
And every one of them genuinely do want these infants to find good homes. (Somewhere.)
And every one of them will likely be hurt or angered or offended at my post because deep down, they wish they could say "yes" and the reason they can't shames them, too. (I'm sorry about that.) They're good people. They wish things were different. They wish we could all live in a colorblind world. But they're painfully aware that we don't, and most don't feel they're up to the challenge of raising a child 'of color. I understand this: I really do. And as an agency, we certainly respect the right of each adopting family to make their own best choices about what does or doesn't "fit." It just doesn't make things any better for these tiny babies, who so deserve to grow up in a lovely home with a family just as special as the ones we have currently waiting for 'other' children.
But maybe, just maybe, somebody out there will find the courage to open their heart and their home to a whole new realm of possibility. Maybe someone out there who's reading this will sit down and examine the reasons they checked off the boxes that they did, and realize that doing so just boxes in their family in a way that constricts them from growing. Maybe somebody out there will cast a vote towards changing their relatives, their neighborhood, their community... one transracial placement at a time. And maybe someone will call here and say "talk to me about what it would mean if we were to accept a child of African-American descent; how we could make it work, how we could help those around us embrace this little one?"
Because in the time that I've been typing this post, we've just had another call from a hospital out of town, where there's a newborn baby girl in need of a good home. And I've just got to believe we can find one even within our own loving community... can't we?
When I filled out the application for Abrazo, I have to admit that I checked off every ethnicity with the exception of African American. I believe it was done out of ignorance. When Kelly and I talked prior to orientation, I had left a message about whether I was good to go for the weekend, she said she had been looking at my application and noticed that I hadn't checked that option. At that moment, I said, "Talk to me about it." She proceeded to tell me, "We have a perfectly healthy little boy in Houston who's ready to go home." I told her to give me a little time to think and pray about it. After I hung up the phone, I called a very dear friend of mine who said, "HOW COULD YOU SAY NO?" And the realities were that I could not. I wanted to be a mom. I wanted a child to love and raise. I wanted to adopt a baby. Here was a healthy, beautiful baby boy who needed a family. I called Kelly back probably sooner than she expected and told her to send me the case paper work. That afternoon I met with my social worker and updated my home study. A few days later, Nathan came home forever. It would have been sooner, but I had to meet obligations at work. (I learned about Nathan on a Friday morning and brought him home on Tuesday.) I cannot imagine being mom to any other child. Do I worry? Absolutely. What parent doesn't? Do I stand by my decision. No doubt. Do I have regrets. NO. Was I open to an African American child when I started the adoption journey? Not really. It was so easy just to leave that box unchecked. Out of sight, out of mind--don't want to think that hard or that deep. I shudder to think of what I would have missed out on if I had held fast to my ignorance and fear. I ache to think of the growth my immediate family and friends close to me would have missed out on. I think about the new relationships and perspectives I've gained as a result of my decision. Nathan has blazed some trails that would never have been given a glance let alone now become a favorite place to be. Do I think everyone should adopt a child regardless of ethnicity? When a person says, "I just want a baby to love," does it make me angry to know there are newborn babies waiting in limbo that these same people turn their backs on due to the pigment of their skin and the culture they do not understand? Do I secretly thank God that those before me chose not to risk when asked about parenting Nathan? The answer to these questions are a resounding "YES". Do I understand the fear and ignorance? Absolutely. Am I an expert on the subject? Absolutely not. But when it came down to brass tacks, I had to look at my most basic desire. The bottom line was that I wanted to be a mom. I wanted to have a child. It didn't matter that he didn't look like me. It didn't matter that I didn't know much about the African American culture. What did matter was that I was willing to love him, do my best for him, and learn what I didn't know. I learn every day. I worry every day. I love him every day and thank God for opening my heart and mind every day.
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Putting up a praise today for a wonderful man named George, who made his wedding vows to me 25 years ago today and faithfully has kept them ever since.
He has given ... and continues to give ... me a million reasons every day to be FeelingBlessed!
Aw, that's SO sweet. Congratulations, kids!!!
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What a happy surprise to log into the gallery and see the Singh's with a new baby girl! I stared at the picture marveling at the joy and thinking, WOW! Then I read her name and said it again, WOW--beautiful! Next I had to hit the baby announcements to see just what was up and sure enough, it is true. I'm so very happy for you Kathy and Tom. Maya and Ariana are going to be such close and blessed sisters. YEE HAH! I'm shouting and singing over here in New Braunfels!
Come on, Pamela, when you catch up on your sleep, please post a picture or two of Maya and Ariana or the whole family!
I still can't get over what a cool surprise. And welcome to the TWEENERS, Singh family! There's room for many a' more!
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Congratulations to Brian and Gail and their birthfamily. You've only just begun and what a blessed way to start the new year! Congratulations!!
Baby Announcements 2007
in New Arrivals
Posted
Congratulations, Scott and Char!!!! What a brave and loving birthmom you have! Congratulations on the the triad that was meant to be. Divinely so.