Garden of Hope
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Posts posted by Garden of Hope
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I am in the process of trying to find another child care situation for Nathan. As a single, working mom, childcare is not an option, it's a necessity. His current placement is great, except that the hours are from 7:30-5:00 and they really want you to pick up before five so that the workers can leave at 5. This forces me to leave faculty meetings early, arrive to work at the last minute, and to be always rushing to beat the clock leaving many things undone and me a frazzled mess. It also has me hauling lots of work home and since I have a no work while Nathan is awake policy, it has me working usually from 3 a.m. on. Not a good plan over time.
We visited three centers yesterday. I was amazed at Nathan's reaction. One center he observed very carefully, took a snack that was offered by a worker, ate it and wanted more. The second place, he immediately told me "Gotta Go". I had the same impression. The third place, he wanted to get down and explore. Very interesting. The third place I had some not so great preconceived ideas about, but it is set up very child friendly and enticing. The first place where Nathan acted relaxed and the staff included him immediately, has VERY small rooms and I didn't see many toys for the children to play with. I had wanted to make a decision and a change for Monday, but it's not going to happen. When I returned home from the visits and dinner with a friend, there was a message from his current day care teacher. She was calling to tell me that she has been offered a job at the first center I went to and she is seriously considering going there. Nathan is VERY attached to her and she would be there, not as his teacher, but as a set of eyes and second mom to watch over him. Is that not a sign from above that it is the place HE has chosen for Nathan? I tend to think it is.
Salt, Daycare, sleep issues, wow what a decision packed joy/job parenting is!
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Dear Melissa,
To update a homestudy in Texas, at least, you just contact your social worker and she comes to visit and "update" your information. Thus the term "update". But in Texas the update has to be within 6 months of placement, so if you update now and place in 7 months, you'll have to redo it.
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Dear Christina,
I remember not so long ago your first post full of anxious anticipation and questions. What a difference a year makes! Congratulations on the newest member of your family. What an awesome blessing. God has worked another miracle using the faithful to help carry it out. I am so very happy for you and your family. I look forward to the pictures to come!
Jean
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Superior service and networking; that's Abrazo all over. What a wonderful announcement and definitely engineered by God that this precious little girl went to the forever family He intended!
The post was reminiscent of my BOG. Hospital social worker with Abrazo connection, call from Kelly .................... and the rest is glorious memories! Praise God!
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Dear Kristy, Patrick, and Erin,
I love the name you have chosen for your son. It's beautiful. My son's birthmother also chooses not to have any contact. You are not alone, but I understand the longing to connect with your child's birthparent.
Congratulations!
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Orientation is a wonderful opportunity to meet and bond with other individuals that have the dream of parenthood, too. I have to admit I wondered if I'd feel like they were competition, but actually the opposite was true. You really do root for everyone in your group, help each other over rough spots, waits, disappointments, and celebrate the joys together. Some groups are closer than others, but all have a connection. You will walk away from the orientation with a whole new resolve and perspective that you may not have had prior to the weekend. You will hear this often, "It's not if, but when".......and with Abrazo, the when often comes very quickly. In my case, I got to be on the panel to speak to the orientation group I was supposed to attend because my precious son actually came home before my scheduled weekend!!!! A miracle like that can happen, too. Be excited! Be prepared to have a blast! Be prepared to think and examine your deepest fears and best case scenerios. Be prepared to laugh, smile, hug, cry, and absorb all that the Abrazo team has in store for you. Once you've attended, you'll never be the same! And that's a good thing!
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Dear Carmen,
Your thoughts are important for all to read. They bring improved understanding about the struggles birthparents face when they are in the process of deciding which path to follow. As an adoptive parent who experienced a disrupted adoption plan when the birthmother decided to parent her child, I can tell you that I never blamed her or had any anger toward her for the decision. I had a deep understanding and respect for her and knew that if the shoe had been on the other foot, I doubted that I would have the courage to place my child. If the adoptive family you spoke to is trusting God to fullfill their dream, they probably have a peace and understanding about your choice, too. God has a plan for you and your child. Perhaps your struggle initially was His way of helping you understand just what a blessing and miracle your child is. I appreciate your honest post. It brings light and understanding. How is your precious child? Blessed, I am sure.
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Awesome, thank you for sharing.
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Awesome! It never fails, that I get goosebumps when I read about another miracle family successful on its way. Congratulations to all the new parents!
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Dear Martha,
In my case, I am divorced and adopted as a single parent. I had unexplained infertility on my record dating back to my marriage and my OBGYN wrote a letter stating that I was infertile. I found Abrazo to be the only agency that warmly and encouragingly welcomed me into their fold. I never felt less or awkward because I was single. I will say that I think it helped that I was open to any healthy infant. I have encouraged several single professional women who have expressed interest to contact Abrazo. The general population thinks it's "hard" to adopt as a single, but if the desire is truely in your heart it will happen if you persue it with Abrazo. Like they say, it's not if it's when, and that goes for singles, too.
Jean
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Awesome! Set it to music and add it to the Parents of Tomorrow weekend line up!
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P.S. I enjoyed Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother, too. I found it humorous and reassuring when I was trying to decided whether to live a childless life or pursue adoption. Humor is wonderful medicine and relieves stress amazingly.
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Rick,
Your post was awesome. Intelligent, honest, candid and true. Those qualities will not affect your chances to become adoptive parents. Your birthparents will choose you because they value those things in you.
As far as the the titles that are being discussed in the previous posts. I've read them all and all I can say is maybe these authors opinions are preparing your for some of the thoughts you will encounter in society. Society as a whole and maybe even society closer to home. I take everything I read with a grain of salt, but that doesn't mean it doesn't infuriate me sometimes. It does. But what also infuriates me is that there are still attitudes about adoption that should have gone the way of the cave man. Have faith. You guys are right on the money.
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Your post brough chills to me. God bless all of those mentioned in your post and know that all of us out here in forum land are very moved and elated by your journey.
Hugs,
Jean and Nathan
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Congratulations Linda!
Get as much done as you can before the orientation. Sometimes the stork visits before you can even participate in the amazing weekend. That was the case with me and I think some others too. May is just around the corner and so is parenthood!!
Jean
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Congratulations Sugarfamily! I'm very excited for you as well! You're in for an amazing experience that will change you and your lives forever. Please keep us posted on your progress.
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Welcome to the Forum! Keep reading and posting. It will help the time pass more quickly and will provide you with a wonderful support system of caring and intelligent people with lots of varied experiences. I wish you the best and assure you that you have selected the best agency in the entire country! Good luck and keep us posted!
Jean
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Get ready to be parents because at Abrazo things move along very quickly!! Congratulations on choosing them. Of course, the more open you are to race, gender, etc, the faster your match usually occurs. Look at some of the previous posts and you might want to check out some of the posts on Rainbow Families. Abrazo is very good about looking at their needs in relation to the babies that will be born and needing placement and the needs of the adoptive families. I wouldn't be surprised if you heard from Angela or one of the other ladies in the office just any day. Good luck future mommy and daddy and welcome to The Forum! Keep us posted!
Jean
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opps got the initials reversed. sorry!
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WELCOME drn to the parents of tomorrow and Abrazo Forum. You are among friends and surrounded by many who have been exactly where you are now. I am so very excited for you and your husband. You have made the wisest choice to enlist the help of the Abrazo Angels to help you realize your dream of becoming parents. Kelly is the beautiful individual that I worked with and she is the very person who brought my son and I together. My son was a baby on the ground and from start to finish, my process took only a little over four months. My son and I attended a portion of the orientation weekend together, which was really special. You are in for the journey of a lifetime and you will meet and grow to love so many special people both at the agency and within your orientation group. Please keep us posted and may your wait and experience be as joyous and fast as mine was! God Bless you on your journey!
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Your pain comes through in your honest post. Perhaps if you expressed exactly what you said in your post to your daughter she would understand. Your post expressed the acceptance of a "mistake" made, the pride you take in the decision to give this child life, and the recognition of the choice of good adoptive parents. You have a need to keep the events private. It is your need to maintain comfort in your community and workplace. Your need for privacy should be respected just as you respect your daughter's need for continued contact with her birthchild and the adoptive family. The connection they have is real and does make them family. Is it your wish that you not have contact, not have any information, never see photos or hear of milestones? Perhaps you could reach a compromise. Maybe you could agree to view pictures and listen to your daughter's proud rendition of her birthchild's latest accomplishments at predetermined intervals. This will be as difficult for her as losing your privacy would be for you. I hope that you and your daughter can come to an understanding so that both of your needs are met. Believers in open adoption feel that a child's needs are best met when they know their history with full disclosure. The fact remains that you do have a grandchild. You do have a choice to be a part of that child's life or not. Your daughter is now a mother and she has a choice to be a part of that child's life, too. It is in the child's best interest to be loved and cared for by as many people as possible and for them to know how their life came to be as it is. It isn't as you had hoped and dreamed it would be, but sometimes the best things come from what seems to be the worst at first. Thank you for being so open and honest with your feelings. I hope that you and your daughter can continue the open honest communication and that you reach a compromise that benefits everyone involved. God bless you and your family.
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Dear Lisa and Steve,
Congratulations again. I just wanted to say, I love the name you selected. It's very pretty. May God continue to bless your family and bring the newest Abrazo daddy home quickly and safely.
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I have goose bumps! What an awesome blessing Abrazo is to everyone associated with it. Two placements in 10 days. Miraculous and the fast matching, amazing. May God bless these new families and birthfamilies as they begin their lives together. And may God continue to guide and bless the beautiful ladies at Abrazo that facilitate the miracles. Ahhhh, what a joy to be a part of these joyous beginnings.
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Very cool link. THhanks for sharing! Happy New Year to all and may each day be filled with recognized blessings!
Baby Announcements 2004
in New Arrivals
Posted
Now that's what I call quick! What a wonderful whirlwind it must have been and still is for the lucky first couple to match and place all in a matter of days!! Congratulations! From the Parents of Tomorrow to the Parents of TODAY in a matter of hours. Amazing!
Way to go, Abrazo!