ElizabethAnn
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Posts posted by ElizabethAnn
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Hi, Sherrie, Paul & Michelle! Sherrie, I've been out the last couple of days so feel free to call the girls in the office and ask about the birthmom you're hoping to speak with. Paul & Michelle, as for the November 10 posting, I'm happy to report that we have matched the birthmom expecting the biracial baby girl in December and she's meeting her new adoptive family this weekend; the Anglo twin case is fixing to match any day now; and the toddler-and-baby case resulted in a happy homecoming just last week! Thanks for asking, y'all!
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Hi, David! At Abrazo, we do welcome single parents who meet our agency admissions criteria (as found on our website, these are generally stable, secure adults over the age of 25, with medically-documented infertility OR interest in special needs adoption.)
Single dads are admitted more rarely than single moms, partly because in open adoption, many birthmothers are seeking to place their children in a two-parent home, or to be assured that their infant will have a solid mother figure in their lives. However, we embrace your interest in parenthood and wish you the best of luck, wherever your journey might lead you.
To further explore whether Abrazo would be a good fit for you, please print out the downloadable inquiry form from the agency's website, complete and return it to us, and we'll be in touch. Welcome to the forum; may you find much valuable information here to aid you in your quest.
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Needed: more extended family members from birth and adoptive families, to join in this online dialogue and help round out our Forum population.
Compensation package: lifelong friendships, education, support, and camaraderie.
Benefits: adopted family members will enjoy improved communication and understanding across the lifespan and the entire clan will be respected and admired in your community.
To apply: POST HERE!
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It's not an adoption book, per se, but Marlo Thomas' new children's book, Thanks & Giving, is at the top of my Christmas gift-giving list this year, and all proceeds go to benefit St. Jude's Childrens' Hospital. It's an awesome collection of stories and poems for kids, and there's even a soundtrack available, as well. Check it out... it's a great complement to her first volumes, "Free to Be You & Me" (remember, way back when?) and "Free To Be a Family" (which did include the adoption topic.)
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Hi, Sherrie! Obviously, you would want to talk with doctors about the hep C factor, since none of us on staff can give medical advice, but for other information about this case or others posted here, please call Angela at the office and she can fill in the details for you.
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Oldest American Mom Births Twins
Any thoughts from the peanut gallery on this one?
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We are presently working with a birthmom out of town who does not have Internet access and is making adoption plans for a pregnancy that resulted from a violent sexual assault by a stranger. If any of our former birthmoms out there have had a similar experience and could offer her emotional support by letter or phone call, please call Pamela, our Maternity Services Coordinator at the office (1-800-454-5683) and let her know you're willing to help. Thank you!
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There are so many available adoption resources, and so many factors to consider, but what seems most important may change, depending on where you're at in the process...given what you know, what is most essential to you now?
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We have a precious little Latina B.O.G. in need of a loving home! Born this week, her birthfamily would like for her to go to a young, childless couple with connections to the Hispanic community. While there was no prenatal care, the birthfamily does have insurance coverage; the baby was cocaine exposed, but is doing just fine! and she's ready to go home. Interested and homestudy-ready parents-to-be may call Angela Martinez this week for more information. (210/342-5683) Thanks for helping us get this little angel where she belongs!
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We're tickled to announce that we've found a family for our twins! Thanks to all who responded.
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Thanks for asking! We do try to post all upcoming events on the Forum Calendar (see upper right hand link); November's orientation weekend is scheduled for the fifth and sixth, but may be subject to change depending on availability so please call Angela at Abrazo before booking travel!
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The agency is continuing to receive inquiries regarding the twin case, and hope to have them in a loving home prior to the next scheduled Parents-of-Tomorrow weekend (Oct. 15-16) so as to minimize their foster care stay. (Therefore, interested parties should fax completed and current homestudies to Angela Martinez at 210/342-6547 for further consideration. Thank you!)
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More and more adoption agencies are prohibiting adopting parents from stating a gender preference. Should parents who adopt be given the choice of a boy or girl, or simply be expected to accept whatever child is becomes available?
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Everyone has different understandings and needs when it comes to openness in adoption, but for our visitors who are just exploring this option, what do you think would suit you best? Why?
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Just wondered if we have any birthgrandparents out there who originally became parents by adoption and wanted to share their story?
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Been There... There Again?
Lately, we've gotten several calls from birthmoms who placed babies for adoption in the past, and found themselves facing the same decision again, but waited until the last minute to contact an agency, due to embarassment or shame.
Please!! if you are trying to gather the courage to call for help after having already been through the adoption process before, know that you are so welcome here! We know that lightning can and does strike twice (or more) so don't be afraid to reach out.
You're not alone (and you've got nothing to be ashamed about, because sometimes, fertility can be as big of a problem as infertility. Let us help you through this, again. We're (still) here for you, and as they say--old friends are the best of friends!
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Just a quick survey question!!
The very first time you picked up the phone and called for information on adoption, what made you dial that number? How did you find the courage to talk to someone, or did you have to hang up and try again a few times?
What was your first "adoption call" like (whether it was to Abrazo or someplace else)??
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Here are this year's orientation dates (and thanks for asking!)
March 5-6, 2004
May 14-15, 2004
July 16-17, 2004
September 17-18, 2004
November 5-6, 2004
Remember, participation is by invitation only, and space is limited, so do have your completed inquiry, application and supporting documents on file as soon as possible, in order to be considered for inclusion in the weekend of your choice.
While Abrazo has occasionally offered regional orientations in other areas of the country in accordance with demand, the above-weekends are all scheduled to occur in San Antonio, at a variety of select hotels offering generous discounts to our attendees. (Note: some orientation weekends are limited to specific kinds of families, so consult with Abrazo's Family Services Coordinator in advance.)
Without "giving away" what happens on Friday night and/or Saturday, is there any "pre-orientation advice" that some of our "been-there-done-that" crowd can offer the newbies, on how to get the most out of the weekend?
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Letters of recommendation are required in the homestudy process and by T.D.P.R.S. (Licensing), to provide confirmation of prospective parents' readiness/suitability, from the perspective of those nonrelatives who know them best. Without suggesting that these all sound alike, remember that there are only soooo many positive adjectives in the dictionary, and the best letters are the most candid ones.
The letters that tend to hold more meaning are the ones that acknowledge applicants' limitations, yet provide realistic insight as to how they have managed/overcome adversity in the past and how they will likely incorporate such skills or use such experience/s to benefit in their day-to-day parenting duties. Agencies know no one's perfect; what we need to know is, who's really ready, and why?
True story: Abrazo once received a peculiar letter of reference, recounting humorous college hijinks and goofy character quirks, questioning whether the couple in question could be entrusted with a puppy, never mind a child! Curious, we contacted the letter writer--and the mortified applicants--only to learn that he was, in fact, fully supportive of his friends' efforts to adopt! He'd written two reference letters, a glowing recommendation meant for Abrazo, and a silly one, to be sent to them in fun. Obviously, the letters accidently got switched, but being an agency that enjoys a good joke, the family was accepted by Abrazo (upon receipt of the right letter) and soon took placement of a child whose new home is filled with laughter and supported by good friends.
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Good news! All of Abrazo's extra-wonderful clients are mere mortals!, great as they are, so most adopting parents with medical proof of a "normal" life expectancy do qualify (pending appropriate expectations and qualifications in the areas of child placement and openness.) The majority of our successful clients are likewise survivors of some life challenge or the other, so get that inquiry or application in and let's see what we can do to help! Know also that some of our dearest Forum members have also conquered cancer, so you're among friends, here! Welcome... Make yourselves at home!
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You make such a good point, Jenny N! Someone (I forget who) launched a similar subject discussing the horribly ignorant things well-meaning strangers say about adopted siblings. Perhaps one of our more-talented Forum sleuths can recall where that is, as it may provide you with some ideas about dealing with the labelling issue?
For our Family Room newbies who may not have yet found their way around the Forum yet, here's a reprint of a link posted elsewhere, offering a list of "talking about adoption" do's and don'ts: Things NOT to say to Adoption Persons NOR Birthparents NOR Parents Who Adopt, from the Adoption Crossroads website by adoption expert Joe Soll.
Confused about some of the statements included on that list and why they're considered offensive?
Feel free to ask on this Forum by posting those questions here. (There's no such thing as "stupid questions," after all, and understanding why such sayings are hurtful may help you better understand the whole adoption concept... the first and most special gift you can give that new or coming grandchild, niece/nephew or cousin of yours!)
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Welcome, new grandparents-to-be! What an exciting time for you and your family. We know that adoption has changed alot over the years, and it's so important that you and your extended family learn all you can, so that you can support your son and/or daughter better as they move closer to parenthood.
We have a special way of talking about adoption these days, called "positive adoption language," which we encourage you to learn and use now, so that your future grandchild grows up in a family that helps him or her feel good about who they are and how they came to be part of your family tree. (Ask your son or daughter about this lingo--our Forum members will be happy to offer some gentle pointers, as well.)
We realize that many folks start with lots of questions and concerns about what their loved ones are "getting into," about open adoption and how it works, about the legalities and the costs and the process and all. We know that some of your relatives may have mixed emotions about adoption issues, and maybe you do, too. Perhaps you have witnessed the pain that infertility has caused your child and you worry about wanting to protect them from more disappointment. Or maybe you've been through the adoption process before and have some wisdom and insight to share.
Whatever your thoughts, whichever stage of the process your son or daughter are in, we encourage you to visit here as much as you'd like, post questions and offer insights. Helping you learn about adoption is the first step you can take in helping welcome home a precious new grandchild and let us be the first to offer you our best wishes on this special quest.
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Hi, Angel! In order to adopt stepchildren, their biological mother would have to consent to terminate all of her parental rights first. (And in some states, the children may have to reside with you for a certain period of time before you could even file to adopt.) You would probably want to check with their mom first as to how she feels about this plan, then if she's in agreement, get some good counseling for the children involved and contact a certified family law attorney to go from there.
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Just wondering how all our friends in the "if they don't ask, I won't tell" category are doing...?
This is such a tough dilemma, balancing secrecy-for-survival with the need-to-know-they-know urge. I'm guessing most parents on our forum, if asked how they would feel if their kids were in this position, would hope to be the kind of parents who could offer their sons and daughters unconditional love (if not unfailing support) regardless. Yet they would be entitled to their own emotional reactions, positive or negative, and the longer the secrets have been held, the harder they may be to hear from those kept in the dark.
Your parents and other relatives don't have to approve of the choices you make... and they may not... and it may take time for them to come to terms with your decision and their feelings about it... But hopefully, ultimately, you do have the kind of relationship that could weather their disapproval until such time as they come to accept that you made your own best decisions, given the circumstances at the time. (That is easier said than done, of course, and the risks of the unknown response can be pretty terrifying for birthparents already vulnerable to society's general disapproval.)
For those of you out there who have taken the risks and walked the gangplank, so to speak, what are your thoughts? For those parents of birthparents out there, what is your advice? And for those of you still trying to get up the courage to spill the beans, where are you at with this challenge and how can we support you as you face the unknown?
Nursery Notes
in Looking to Adopt
Posted
Here's the latest on those November postings... the baby girl due in December went home with a loving family of Abrazo againers as noted in our Baby Announcements (congrats, Starfish!)... the twins were born healthy last week but had unfortunately not matched with an Abrazo family so the birthmom relinquished to an attorney's office instead... the birthmom due in January did not hear from interested parents so made other plans... the toddler is thriving in his new home and they are eagerly anticipating his baby brother, due in a couple of months... the male twins are still with their birthmom awaiting a response... and the birthmom expecting the baby boy in March just began talking with a couple who's coming into Abrazo's program this month. Thanks for asking!