ElizabethAnn
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Posts posted by ElizabethAnn
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I would also want her to show responsibility toward her growing baby through healthy choices and following medical advice.
Hmmm... this presupposes, of course, that a mother shares your value system and has access to prenatal care, and the means to obtain it. Keep in mind that there are plenty of moms who place who do not ever see an ob-gyn in the course of a pregnancy, but are "responsible" enough to consider adoption and blessed enough to deliver loveable babies on their own. As we often remind adoptive parents at orientation weekends, open adoption is not a surrogacy arrangement, so adopting parents should not impose their own pregnancy care preferences on expectant moms considering placement. They can certainly opt to not match with someone whose lifestyle doesn't fit their expectations, but if we expect prospective birthmoms to be "responsible" enough to make good plans for their babies' futures, we need to credit them with being responsible enough to make their own best decisions for their bodies and their babies during pregnancy, too. (Just a gentle reminder...)
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So there's this new Disney movie out, and it seems to be one of those films that people either love or hate, no in-between.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV_i2yadQ0M
.I happened across this review today (http://io9.com/59348...-than-it-sounds) and it got me thinking...
On Abrazo's application, one of our essay questions asks prospective adoptive parents with infertility to consider how they have grieved the loss of their "biological dream child" and consider how the child they adopt may differ?
It's a question most folks seem to struggle with, and understandably so.
Having had homegrown children, I don't remember spending much time anticipating how I hoped my children would "be"... perhaps because I just assumed they'd be reasonably intelligent, with dark hair and dark eyes like their dad and I (originally) had. I hoped they'd be well-behaved. I hoped they'd be tidier than their mom. (But that was about it.) I spent a lot more time thinking about how I hoped my marriage would be, and we all know how that turned out!?!
Yet I wonder if parents who adopt (not having the benefit of being able to assume--right or wrong-- that their children will be "pretty much like them") might naturally spend more time wondering how their future kids will be (and maybe sometimes worrying about this, as well)?
I wonder if sometimes they might secretly wish that adopted children could just be grown in a garden according to their own specifications (ala Timothy Green)?
And I wonder if it the longing for biological control is what is giving rise to the numbers of Texas adoption agencies suddenly launching pricey surrogacy programs?
Share your thoughts on this, and if you go see "The Odd Life of Timothy Green", let us know what you think of it, as well!
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August orientation attendees-- we've launched your very own group thread under our Parents-in-Waiting section, so join us there, because that will eventually be a wonderful record of your respective adoption journeys from start to finish, just for you! (And it will be retitled with your very own special group name after this weekend, so come inspired!)
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The "Millionaire Matchmaker" is trying to find her birthparents, apparently:
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K&J, congratulations! Look for "Linlacor" on the Forum... they would never have found their adorable son had it not been for their involvement in the Designated program, since his birthmama was a go-getter who would never have dreamed of contacting an adoption agency had she not found a couple she adored online, first!
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Few things in life are more important or monumental than this. I think it deserves more focus and determination than anything and the forum is a wealth of information that can make you not only a better parent, but a better friend to the woman who brings your child into this world.
That was so unexpectedly beautiful it brought a lump to my throat.
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In my experience, Jocelyn, you are correct: celebrities do get preferable treatment with certain well-known adoption attorneys and yes, some agencies, too (all proteestations to the contrary.) I said this in an interview with People magazine some years ago, and it didn't go over well, but it is the truth.
One very famous actress who will remain unnamed adopted several times through a recently-closed adoption agency and the agency routinely flew staff to NY to secretly retrieve the babies she took home and then decided to quietly "change out" for others. (You can't tell me the average adoptive family could get away with that!?! But of even greater concern is how that affected the tiny newborns who were being swapped around in that fashion.)
Interesting piece in HuffPost about celebrities adopting black babies...
http://www.huffingto..._hp_ref=parents
Your thoughts?
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Deb, in private adoptions, anything goes, basically, because there is no agency to set higher standards in a child's best interests, unfortunately... and in celebrity adoptions, it seems the same standard sometimes applies.
This story was similarly troubling, I think... http://mom.me/fun/18.../3782-82567377/
How will the Kellys tell Addie "well, yes, we were so delighted to add you to our family, we let you sit with the nanny in coach just so the paparazzi didn't find out we'd adopted again until weeks later?"
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Welcome, Laurie! We're delighted to have you as part of our Abrazo family! I am so sorry your son's parents didn't keep their promises and were not supportive of your reunion, but "good things come to them that wait!" and we will all keep you and your boy in our prayers in the meantime. You might really find comfort in the stories of some other first moms who placed elsewhere and found support here on Abrazo's Forum while they waited out the years until their children were in a place where they were ready for reunion with or without their parents' blessing... look for posts by Lisa (Linlacor) and Paula, on the Birthparent Blogs. And feel free to launch one of your own, if you'd like. You have amazing wisdom and experience to share, and we all learn best from each other around here. Big hugs to you!
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That's a beautiful testimony, Tina... thank you. And please welcome your friend from church to join Abrazo's Forum, if she needs support from a whole bunch of people who truly do "get it." Let her become Makenzie's "fairy godbirthmother" if appropriate... adoption is always about those with big hearts standing in for each other when someone else can't be there, after all. Big hugs to you both (and to Makenzie, too.)
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Abrazo has had more boy placements than girls for a few years, now:
http://www.startribu.../144102936.html
But we concur with Rochon's concerns about families "limiting themselves", although our concern is more about families limiting the future children, solely on the basis of gender...
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Who knew that Mac Powell of the awesome group Third Day is himself a parent-by-adoption?
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Yes, Melissa, single applicants must also provide proof of infertility, too, unless they're interested in the special needs or designated programs... thanks for asking!
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So sad... Abrazo was working with a mom with several other children last fall who decided not to place... we just got word that she is presently in jail for the death of that baby, who would have been less than a week old, now. Our hearts go out to the child whose life was snuffed out, the siblings who will grow up with the loss, and the mother who was so ill-prepared for what she thought she wanted most.
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From another site...
The extension of the Bush Tax cuts extended the credit until December 31, 2012, but with the following modifications:A. The amount for 2012 will be $12,170/child.
B. The tax credit will not be refundable. This means to get the full refund, you must owe at least $12,170 in taxes.
Hope this is helpful.
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I've been thinking today of the grandparents of Gavin and Grace, knowing Andrea's mother has been battling cancer, but when I went to Andrea's Facebook page today to post a message, I was saddened to learn that her mother, Barbara, passed away on December 27, 2011.
Roger and Barb Smallwood and the Steadmans have been such beloved members of our Camp Abrazo community each summer! Grandma Barb was ill this year, yet still showed up for Camp, bless her heart. I know we'll be remembering and missing her come July. She was so proud of her family, and it was always beautifully apparent to everyone.
Our hearts go out to Roger and his both his daughters and their families... please pray for all of them as they mourn the loss of this wife and mother and grandmother who was so special to all of us, as well.
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Just wanted to add this story to this thread: A Story of Cancer, Adoption & Hope.
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This makes a lot of sense to me... whether one is adopting from China or Texas or Ethiopia or Haiti or wherever: don't take a child from a culture or environment without some investment in maintaining a connection and/or returning there.
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Update: Abrazo asks all families to send an initial supply of ten color copies to the agency, and thereafter, we simply call the closest QuikCopy to make us additional copies if we run out of profiles. Somedays, we send out multiple copies of your profile, other weeks, it may be none, just depending on the demand, so we cannot predict how soon each family may need more copies, nor do we have time to call each family to have them send reprints when the supply runs low, which is why the pickup and delivery service at QuikCopy is useful. However, for those who have access to a professional grade color copier and wish to send a larger initial supply of color copies in hopes of saving on the color copying costs on our end, feel free. (But remember, we need professional quality copies, and on heavier paper stock, please.) All copies are stamped with Abrazo's agency name and contact information, before distribution.
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Seems like it took awhile, but Angelina Jolie recently took her son Pax back to Vietnam for a visit with his birthgrandma:
(Now, if she'll make good on promises to help daughter Zahara reconnect with her birthrelatives...?)
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can't wait to see the newest picture of this beautiful family (hint hint)
Great idea... one with all three beaming faces showing, please!!!!
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"You is kind... you is smart... you is..." A MOM BY ADOPTION!
How soon did you decide adoption?
in Considering Adoption?
Posted
Sometimes, I think, adoption planning is a knee-jerk reaction when it starts too early in pregnancy. That's not to say there aren't some moms who know from the beginning that adoption is going to be their best choice on behalf of their child, but it is to say that all expectant parents need to take time to consider all possible options so they feel secure in whatever decision they do ultimately make.
Lots of things can change in the course of the 40 weeks that a pregnancy transpires. Abrazo generally advises mothers to wait until their fourth or fifth month to initiate adoption planning and consider matching, but there are other circumstances in which some parents do rightfully need to begin adoption plans in advance of that (one of those being cases in which a parent already knows that Child Protective Services will not allow them the option of parenting, for example.)
Planning adoption during pregnancy is not easy because it does force expectant parents to deal with anticipatory grief, but this can ultimately be a blessing, in that longer matches do enable birthparents to feel more secure in their decisions and with their chosen adoptive families.
That said, there are plenty of expectant parents who make no plans in advance because they can't deal with the psychic pain of doing so, and they just wait to call agencies like Abrazo from the hospital after the birth. That's not optimal, because it requires the planning of a child's entire future to be completed at the last minute, but Abrazo is happy to help in any circumstance, in whatever way best meets the needs of the parent/s and child involved.