AlexnMomma
-
Posts
1,105 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
2
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Events
Posts posted by AlexnMomma
-
-
WELCOME Lovefaithandhope!! Welcome to the forum Family!!
-
There are so many good thoughts here. A few ones I want to add...
-Question for those with more knowledge...When BP do not want contact, what are some of the reasons? I wonder if it is like the journey AP take in learning about the benefits of open adoption.... Like Heidi I wonder what can be done to help BP on this.
My reasoning was this (when I was thinking I might want no contact) It is a VERY painful ordeal for a birthparent to go through the whole adoption process. ANd I at the time didn't want the constant reminder of all that pain. But then of course, I decided open adoption was for the best and I decided to keep the open agreement!
-
Just an idea, When Fiona's parents were thinking about adopting from China (they have since changed their minds) I was going to be a surrogate BP to the new little girl!! I know quite a few people have done this when one childs BP isn't involved, and the other's BP steps in. Just an idea??
-
For those of you who have watched the Hallmark special. When I was in the room talking to Barbara, about "changing my mind" I wasn't changing my mind about placing the triplets. I was thinking a closed adoption would be better! In fact I remember being so Angry at one point I called Elizabeth, told her I wanted to sign relinquishment RIGHT THen so I could just leave.
Well that didn't happen. And as we all know I'm VERY involved in all of my BK's lifes. Im sure it's harder for some birthmothers thna it is for me, especially those who have never been involved with anything adoption wise. There is no "set reaction" or "set standard" with how birthparents should act, or even be involved at a later point.
One of my BP friends is only in contact with their BK by email currently, because the BP feels they don't understand what the "role" of a BP is. I told them that that is between the BP and the AP's no one else. And it's in the best interest of the child!
-
CONGRATS!! ANd Welcome Baby Henry!!
-
Oh, no!! I didn't think Elizabeth would actually put the ending behind that black stripe!! I just wanted to see how it works!! I don't mind spoilers, this movie is definitely on my must-see list.
Don't put anything past Elizabeth!! She puts tortillas in people's purses!! And Chips in Camera Bags!!
(but we SURe LOVE her!!) -
Hi. My name is Loriahn (lori-en like Delorian the car without the D). Im a recovering birthmother, I've been unpregnant for 3 years now. ;-) (For those of you who know my history you know this is a pretty amazing feat for me!) (for those of you who don't, I was pregnant at least PART of every year from 1997-2005, between miscarriages, babies, and adoptions!) Oh yeah, and Im adopted!
I figured I would Reintroduce myself for all the newbies!! Im still finding out who I am. :-) So maybe you canjoin me on the journey!! I've come a long way, but I have a lot further to go!!I look forward to getting to know you as well!!
Welcome to the Abrazo Family!
HUGS!!!
-Loriahn (without the D)
-
-
As I got to school this morning, I opened up my purse. Inside, was a heart shaped brownie with a note attached. It read, "I love you, mom. Love, Cecilia" I love my girls!
Jill
THAT IS SO SWEET!!!
-
Which probably means I'll bawl my eyes out if I watch it alone!!
-
I just love our neighbors. Tonight while Delaney was getting in the shower she fell and busted open her chin. Doug wrapped her in a towel and ran next door. Dr. Doe (surgeon) cleaned her wound and called his nurse, who happened to be less thsn 5 minutes away. She came over with all his stuff, and they (Dr. and nurse) gave Delaney stitches right there on the breakfast table. She is feeling great and was an even better patient, since she trusted the doctor. The hospital is only 10 minutes away but then factor in the wait, we were back at our home in less than an hour and we even visited a little when she was all done.
I just wanted everyone to know I have the best neighbor
He is even going to remove the stitches for us. I just hope that her pictures on wednesday don't show the stitches.
That is great!! Thats why I remember sometimes I am glad my Dad was a doctor!! Between me and my brother most of the time one of us was in stiches!!
-
As a birthmother, I wouldn't count them out for sure. I have a friend with MS so I totally understand. I guess it just depends on the birthmother.............But I guess Im kinda EO.
-
1) This is why I needed to make adoption plans when I did... Because I was young, and parenting at the current time was NOT an option for me. Im adopted so I couldn't think of doing anything else but adoption2) This is how I found Abrazo & why I chose this agency... I was referred to Abrazo by an agency in California. From day one, they were there!! Bringing me Taco Bell while I was in the hospital weekly visits while I was in the hospital and lending an ear to many hours on the telephone.3) This is how my decisions have benefitted my child... I look back to 5-6 years ago, and I see that NOW I made a great choice. My Birthkids are happy, healthy and they know who I am. They know where they came from and they know I love them!! Thats whats important to me!!4) This is the encouragement I'd offer others in my shoes...It may seem like a very hard journey, I for one am not goign to sugar coat it, IT IS!! However, you grow more beatuiful, stronger and become a much better person during the process. It's like a catapiller that goes from just an ugly thing to a beautiful butterfly!!! :-)1) This is why I needed to make adoption plans when I did... Because I was young, and parenting at the current time was NOT an option for me. Im adopted so I couldn't think of doing anything else but adoption2) This is how I found Abrazo & why I chose this agency... I was referred to Abrazo by an agency in California. From day one, they were there!! Bringing me Taco Bell while I was in the hospital weekly visits while I was in the hospital and lending an ear to many hours on the telephone.3) This is how my decisions have benefitted my child... I look back to 5-6 years ago, and I see that NOW I made a great choice. My Birthkids are happy, healthy and they know who I am. They know where they came from and they know I love them!! Thats whats important to me!!4) This is the encouragement I'd offer others in my shoes...It may seem like a very hard journey, I for one am not goign to sugar coat it, IT IS!! However, you grow more beatuiful, stronger and become a much better person during the process. It's like a catapiller that goes from just an ugly thing to a beautiful butterfly!!! :-)If you want to talk more to me about my decision feel free to PM me!!
-
1) This is why I needed to make adoption plans when I did... Because I was young, and parenting at the current time was NOT an option for me. Im adopted so I couldn't think of doing anything else but adoption
2) This is how I found Abrazo & why I chose this agency... I was referred to Abrazo by an agency in California. From day one, they were there!! Bringing me Taco Bell while I was in the hospital weekly visits while I was in the hospital and lending an ear to many hours on the telephone.
3) This is how my decisions have benefitted my child... I look back to 5-6 years ago, and I see that NOW I made a great choice. My Birthkids are happy, healthy and they know who I am. They know where they came from and they know I love them!! Thats whats important to me!!
4) This is the encouragement I'd offer others in my shoes...
It may seem like a very hard journey, I for one am not goign to sugar coat it, IT IS!! However, you grow more beatuiful, stronger and become a much better person during the process. It's like a catapiller that goes from just an ugly thing to a beautiful butterfly!!! :-)
-
Thanks Bobbi!! But for the record I AM trying to get a copy of it to watch!! (BTW is it a tear jerker?)
-
You know?? I know I wouldn't be embarrassed to call Abrazo again. And I find it strange, but however I understand that we all are different when it comes to adoption. Because the first people I called when I found out I was pregnant with Fiona was the Triplets AP's to see if they had friends that would want to adopt so that my birthkids could know each other!! But like I said, we are all different!!
HOpe it all worked out for the best!!
-Loriahn
-
I saw a movie on lifetime the other day with Stockard Channing, can't remember the name, that portrayed the mother as a married mother of four. I wish that I had taped it because I felt like it brilliantly dispelled some of the stereotypes (while of course reinforcing others). I suppose you can't ask for everything.
Bobbi,
I think the name of the movie is "the baby dance". It has one of the saddest endings I have ever seen. But it is a very good movie.
As far as people's assumptions that all birthmothers are single unwed mothers. I am always a little entertained when I tell people my son's birthparents were a married couple. They are always so shocked. I think it is hard for people to imagine the kind of love and sacrifice it took for them to place our little guy with us. But we can dispel myths one person at a time if we must.
That sterotype is one even I struggle with. Having been there.........But I understand there are.......it sometimes is hard for me to believe, maybe because I've never experienced that for myself, but only VERY alone through both the pregnacies, besides the AP's of course!
-
I am honestly glad to hear that! See the biggest problem I think with some not to be named agencies is that they have SO MANY PIW that they will take ANY baby from ANY Birthmother just so that they can get their hands on that baby!! Even when its not the best for the AP's or the BP's. Very Sad!!
-
Just wondering Elizabeth........does Abrazo turn birthparents away as well?? Ones they don't see fitting in the Abrazo Program?? If it does, then I have a few more ??'s for you!! :-)
Im glad that Abrazo doesn't just readily accept everyone. And it also explains why you at Abrazo have such a great success through the forum and at the Camp Abrazo!! Because everyone shares a like goals in their adoption journeys!! :-)
-
I had to read it!! Even with the spoilers, I don't get any of it still however, probably because I've never even seen a commercial for it. So does that count?? Remember Im "Out of Country, Out of Touch, Out of this World!" :-)
-
I really need to see this movie!! Then I'll tell you how I feel. One of the guys I work with says he got a copy of it, so Im going to have to get it from him!! Will Post back on this topic soon!!
I cna't wait!!
-
Wow, I had never read this forum!! it's really encouraging. And Elizabeth that quote from very long ago, about THy will be done. That really meant a lot to me right now. Ive been struggeling with this court martial stuff alot like what if he doesn't get convicted etc etc etc. But I just need to let go and let God!! Thanks again!!
-
Sorry I guess I came off not like I meant. All I meant was, that this is what I know so far. :-) I know she hasn't forgotten. That is why I'm looking for her. Sorry again. I was really tired when I wrote it, still am very tired. The commute kills me. But oh well only for a few more days.
-
My birthmom hid me, she showed up one night in the middle of the night to her life family doctor to deliver me, dropped me off. She drank while pregnant and not once was seen for prenatal care. I guess you could say, is that God was watching over me, because he had a plan for me.
-
Well, here are the three things I was kind of looking for when I was pregnant (didn't know it was triplets yet)
1.) Friendly and wanted to be my friend not just "get my baby". And wanted me as a part of the childs (childrens) life forever. Openess was a big thing!
2.) Didn't want the child in daycare so a stay at home parent or parenting plan at least.
3.) That "just right" feeling, I can't explain it, but you kinda know when you found the right one.
Compulsory Adoption
in Considering Adoption?
Posted
This subject makes me really upset. I don't feel a mother should be "coerced" into making the choice to place like they are. That is mean!! Im glad at least Abrazo does their part to let the birthmother know and help her heal, however, Im sure there are A LOT of agencies who don't care about their birthmothers who don't go to the extent they do! Why can't we change the law, so that if a mother is incarcerated she can choose the AP's before she gives birth!! That way at least she made part of the choice, I think that would be easier to heal from if she had choosen the parents!
I mean come on, I got arrested for Hot Checks (not my fault, they were stolen from me while I was prego with the trips in the hospital, so It was easy to prove it wasn't me) But still. Just because a woman makes a mistake doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings or shouldn't be able to choose anything at all!! :angry: