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AlexnMomma

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Posts posted by AlexnMomma

  1. Explaining to Birth-grandparents.. HELP!

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    I've tried 2 different ways.

    With the triplets, I just flat out told them about a week after I found out I was pregnant. My dad straight up told me, " You will not come home while pregnant or with a baby" and that is pretty much his same attitude towards them today. It drives me nuts that they wont acknowledge the triplets (my mom will when my Dad isn't around) I understand I didn't make the best choices when I was younger, however, I know I did the best option with what to choose from in the end.

    With Fiona being so close behind the triplets, I opted not to tell my parents. and I didn't tell them until she was 3 years old. I did it because I didn't want to hurt them, but in the end it ended up hurting my mom just because I didn't tell her and she felt bad she couldn't be there to support me.

    I would say it depends on the relationship between you and your parents. Coming from an adoptive friendly home myself I knew/know that they would accept that decision even though they weren't happy I had to make it.

  2. Selecting the right family for your baby

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    Alrighty, well I looked for something along these lines and didn't find it, so I figured I'd start this new topic.

    For all the propective birthparents out there I want to share something with you that I now know and learned the hard way.

    When you are trying to find the "Right" Match and if you start calling the Birthmother Lines that propective AP's have set up. Please remember this. You are NOT obligated by any means to match with them just because you called them, or even if you meet with them and decide that something just doesn't fit.

    I myself in my mind, felt like I was almost committing fraud after I had called 3 different couples about the triplets adoption (even though I didn't know I was having triplets at thta point) the first 2 I called they just didn't sit right with me. But when I called Gabe and Lisa everything seemed just right. But for the same reason that I didn't call any prospective AP's except for the AP's of FIona. and I probably should have, there were a lot of little "signals" that I should have seen but I choose to ignore. Now I see that, but to little too late.

    On the AP side, I know everytime that phone rings their heart jumps, but I also know that a lot of them wont even starting being hopeful until the 2nd-3rd call.

    Other BP's and AP's please post your feelings on this too. I really wish I would have had someone to tell me this when I was pregnant! and choosing AP's!

    Thanks

  3. INQUIRY

    in Looking to Adopt

    Posted

    Im not the most crafty but I love decorating so Im up for it, its gonna be fun. My husband is the one with the creative mind so between the two of us Im sure we ill come up with something clever. But Im lost as to colors, is it okay to use different colors as far as the pages and text or should it be more serious? Any help is appreciated. Thanks!!

    I think everyone questions what this is supposed to look like. The chicks will send you some samples at some point. The colors are as you wish, the seriousness is as you wish, make it personal. The person who picks yours out of the pile will love it because of your touch.

    good luck and welcome!

    Lori

    I agree. Use what says "YOU" dont think about it too much :D Just be you and do what YOU like! I have found thats the best place to start!

  4. "I Can't Raise Her Kids For Her!"

    in BirthGrandparents & Important Others

    Posted

    This story has bothered me from the get go. At first when I heard "octuplets" I thought , "oh cool a family that has obviously been trying to have kids finally got 8!!" Then I heard the rest of the story.

    I have tried to watch interview with the BGP's and the mom on TV but honestly it makes me SICK!! I dont even know what to think! I know that if they did decide to use an adoption plan. That those babies would more than likely have to be split up. Im mean honestly how many AP's out there are ready to or could even adopt 8 kids. The reason I say this is being a BP of triplets, I remember how angry I was when I found out another TX Agency (not Abrazo) that I had spoken to was going to spilt up the triplets. I dont think thats right. Multiples thrive off of each other. So to seperate them could be detrimental in the long run.

    Anyway, like I said, this story really frustrates me because its just a HUGE mess to begin with!! And I think it is TOTALLY irresponisble of the Mom who is already living with her parents to go and get IVF AGAIN~!!!! What was she thinking??? Sheesh!

    Ok thats my 2 cents

  6. JUNO- The Movie

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    I FINALLY got to watch this movie the other day. To me, it felt right. As far as her keeping her decision to place with Vanessa even after the split. When you feel the "match" it would be devestating (to me) at that point in the game to have to decide. I probably would have made the same choice she did.

  8. Compulsory Adoption

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    Im not sure what to think here. I think some laws are rediculous. I can see the removal of the child in the first place however, the law that doesn't allow any recourse in the state of the parent being wrongly accused is what I don't like.

    Im glad however, she was able to keep her daughter, but I thought the whole supervisory visits was a little bit of any over kill. And for 11 months!! Thats Crazy!!

  12. Putting up a Praise!!!

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    I wanted to give an update and a praise. I just got word that our pilot that was shot the other day made it to DC had the operation, and he is doing well!! (besides the bullet hole in his leg) He is now the first purple heart recipient in our squadron for this tour!! however, he will not be rejoining us out here!! Thank you everyone for your prayers!!

  16. LIGHT A CANDLE

    in Abrazo's Chapel Potluck

    Posted

    I have and will keep the mini candle for my birthmom! on my desktop!! As a constant reminder of the loving yet difficult decision she choose to make!!

    I have and will keep the mini candle for my birthmom! on my desktop!! As a constant reminder of the loving yet difficult decision she choose to make!!

    We also went from 3 to 34 candles in less than 24 hrs!! !-) Very encouraging!!

  20. Compulsory Adoption

    in Considering Adoption?

    Posted

    Here's another perspective on compulsory adoption, by one of the "girls that went away": NOT BY CHOICE. I do think that there are similarities and contrasts between the adoptions of children born to women who were compelled by society to place years ago, and those who are currently forced to do so due to governmental influence (be it law enforcement or child protective services) but this does provide a valuable overview of the dynamics of the experience for either.

    I read this article, however, Im not quite sure how I feel about it. Parts of it made me angry, parts made me sad, I can only imagine what the author felt as she wrote this!! It was a great story!! Im glad she was able to realize this and wasn't "Paralyzed" by sterotypes of birthmothers from back in the day!

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