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Some friends of ours are adopting. It is a Open adoption. After they went to meet their Bmom they had her come to their house. They had a family dinner and asked her if it was ok to invite their parents too. She said ok. So now the baby's future Grandparents get to know the Bmom. Marilyn's mother even made a scrapbook for their Bmom to keep, to put the baby's birthday party pictures in. I wish we'd had our kin take part too when we went thru it. If the Bmom would have been comfortable with it that is. I know everyh case is different But even if you are too far to meet may be you could still send brownies or a letter or something if your a relative. If you want to be involved.

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My ap's included their families in their journey. I have even talked briefly on the phone to one of the ag's (adoptive grandparents) one day. We had a very nice chat and at the end she even had the kindness to thank me for being involved with my son and his family after placement. She was such a sweet lady, hopefully I will make it to Charlotte sometime soon so that I can meet the extended family and they can meet my husband of 4 months. Prayers to all who are trying to navigate this very stressful time. I hope your families are that supportive. And as for the birthmoms, I hope you will take advantage of any time you get with the ap's and their family, not just to cement your decision, but also to reassure yourself that they are as great as your childs' ap's and how loved your child will be.

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Both of our parents were able to meet our birthparents. My parents along with us were invited for dinner at our birthparent's house just a few days after Grace Ann was born. That was such a special dinner for all included. I have such sweet pictures of my family and Grace Ann with our birthparents.

I am so thankful for open adoption and the bonds that it creates with all members of the family!

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Just a little something else to add to my post above. After talking with our birthdad today, he told us that his parents really want to meet us. They are the only set of grandparents that we have not meet yet. Well anyway, our birthdad gave us his parent's email and he gave our email to them. Hopefully in the near future we will be able to meet them face-to-face. Isn't open adoption wonderful!!

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Melissa - you have such a wonderful thing!!!!! I can't tell you how much I would love to have a relationship with Kayleigh's birthfamily like you have with your daughter's birthfamily.

Something I was thinking of the other day is just how much I would love for Kayleigh to know her birth-grand-father(s)....and everyone else but I just think the grand-daughter/grand-father relationship is a special one. Both mine & Lance's fathers have passed away so Kayleigh will never know what it's like to have a grand-dad and I know that her birth-grand-father wouldn't exactly be like having a grand-dad that was mine or Lance's dad but I just think how cool it would be if she had him in her life.

Gosh - that's just so neat about the e-mail swap! And that they're on e-mail too! What techie grand-parents!

-Lisa

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Lisa,

I hope and pray that you, Lance and Kayleigh do meet Kayleigh's birthfamily one day soon. I believe it will happen for you guys. Remember as a very wise lady says, "it's not if but when." I think that saying can go for all families adoptive or birth that does not have contact with each other.

We are so blessed to have such a great birthfamily. Never in my wildest dreams did I think going into the whole adoption thing that I would come out with not only a child, but also a best friend and new family members

Melissa

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I am very close to Delaney's birthfather and his mom "T". I probably talk to T every other week or more and our calls last usually more than an hour. It has been great to build this relationship over the last year. We have such a strong bond. I can't wait to see her again, hopefully soon! She is always there for me and vise versa, we talk about anything and everything. I am just so lucky to have her in our lives! One of my favorite things she does is always end every call with "give both those babies a kiss from me". I love hearing that from her. Just wished we lived closer so we had another babysitting grandma laugh.gif

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We love the open relationship we have with Chloe's birthmom! She calls here at least once every three months and she sends pictures on a regular basis! For those who are unsure if open adoption is good...no it is not good... It is great! We have a new family member and are thrilled every time we hear from her!

P.s. Jenny and Doug, Miller and Delaney are soooooooo cute!! They are getting so big!

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Guest MotherGoose(not logged in)

2 ideas: if your relative is just starting the adoption process, offer to share photos you have of them for their Dear Birth Mother portfolio or else help take good pictures of the two of them. Almost all our pictures, one of us was behind the camera taking the shot of the other. Then we went to orientation and find out the ones we really needed would have been ones of both of us. Also, we didn't do this but I wish we had: if we had done a family portrait at Sears or Penneys or somewhere before we left with the baby, but with us and all the birthfamily. It would have been a great time to do it, since we were right there all together. I wish we had that for a keepsake for our children!

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Marilyn's mom died, at the funeral they read this poem the Bmom wrote for her. It gave me a lump in my throat. I wish you all could of heard it!!!

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Here's a nifty gift idea; if your loved ones are adopting and you'd like to help them out, send a check or money order made out to "Abrazo Trust" with their names on the memo line, and we'll post a credit to their escrow account, to be used towards their adoption expenses! (We'll even send them a note to let them know who to thank.)

Because while adoption is, truly, the investment of a lifetime, it's also the one gift that really does go on giving!!

Season's Greetings to all our grandparents-to-be (and aunts-to-be, and uncles-to-be, and cousins-to-be, and...) wink.gif

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