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NEW PARENTS NEEDED!


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You'd think we would have realized by now that by having children in the home, it might take longer. And yet, even with two children already in our home, we didn't experience that with Talmage's adoption. May I share?

My husband is a general dentist, but has chosen to to treat only children and the developmentally disabled (regardless of age). Occasionally, he takes call for the oral surgeon in town. Well (disclaimer here: I have permission to share that she was a patient), a girl came to our office over the weekend for pain resulting from dental surgery earlier in the week. She was 15 and her mom brought her in. The older two boys and I were in the car with Matt since we had been running errands, so we went to the office as well. Matt took care of her, and off we went.

Fast forward about a year. We had been discussing adoption off and on for about 6 months. May came. We felt a "push" to start the paperwork process. We ignored it. Two weeks passed. It became a constant feeling that wouldn't leave. So we decided we had better get it done. Oh yeah--at this time, we were getting a well drilled on our property in anticipation of fully breaking ground to build our house. And I was the general contractor.

End of June, we're told over the phone we've been approved. We get the written letter the first week of July. Our online profile is put together. And we wait.

August progresses. We know that there are a few BF's who are making initial contact with the agency, but have not really gone any further. A week later, I call and a girl has come in, but has not initiated any further contact with them. They are trying to reach her to see how she is doing. They say her name is Danielle and give a quick description of her. I drive to the clinic to tell Matt what I've just been told. When he hears her name, he just gives me this startled look and says, "I think it's the girl that I treated last year. Remember? Her mom brought her?" Whoa. Where did that come from? But somehow, I knew he was right.

Danielle had looked through all the profiles online, but hadn't really decided anything. Her mom encouraged her to look again one night, even though she didn't feel like it. Our web profile had been signed on by the agency that morning. So when Danielle looked again, we popped up. She tells us that she looked at her mom and said, "That's the family". She immediately knew who we were when she saw our photo.

We got a call to meet each other. We did so the next day. It was now September. We stayed in contact. Danielle told us that she would like us to be her adoptive family.

Talmage McKay was born November 9, 2006 and came to our home on the 11th.

We have the most amazing relationship with Danielle! She actually works for us now! We maintain contact with Talmage's birth grandparents, and continue to build relationships with them as well. His BF came to his 1st birthday, but has found it too hard to see Talmage in person since. We still maintain contact with the BF by sending pictures via his parents, and he has expressed thanks for us doing so.

So it was a unique situation. We didn't end up going through a longer wait (At least once we did the paperwork, and been approved, anyways. Like most AP's here, there is more to our journey-to-adoption story.) even though we had two children already in our home.

I guess we're hoping for another unique situation. But we will wait. When it's right, it's right. For everyone. :D

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Melinda,

Have you talked to the gals at abrazo yet? Next week call and talk to Angela if you haven't already. I don't know what will come of your opportunities with abrazo but i do believe like you that God is in adoption. I could re-tell our journey to collin but the baby is waking up so i need to hurry ... let me just say that we waited 4 years with the same adoption agency you were with, with nothing and we were childless. it always seemed crazy to me that we were getting lapped by families that adopted two and three children from the agency while we watied for one. Basically I saw the same thing you saw. I don't know if it's specific to that agency or our religion that birthmoms are more inclined to seek "families" as opposed to couples. whereas abrazo very rarely works with an lds birthmom and the birthmoms they work with most often ask for childless couples - I know that collin's birthmom wanted a childless couple. i do know that we were always meant to find collin... we had to chart a path we didn't expect to walk but we are surely a "match" as you were with danielle and Talmage. Whether through abrazo or however you find your next child, God will open the way again. i can't promise something i can't deliver... so when i responded to your pm i was upfront about abrazo limiting how many couples already parenting they accept into their program but i sure hope that you will be a part of our abrazo family one way or another. your open relationship with danielle and how upset your husband was about the baby born last year in montana where aps backed out because of complications at birth... you are just the kind of family that abrazo is all about.

Let me say it one more time ... i know the abrazo chicks have been very busy this week ... so in case they didn't hear the last one...

this is an awesome family.

I hope it helps... as a matter of fact, abrazo chicks feel free to call us if we can be a reference for Matt & Melinda.

Suzi

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Good luck Matt and Melinda in finding the child that is meant to be!

Heather :D

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Matt and Melinda,

Thank you for sharing your wonderful and devine journey to your son. There are no hard and fast rules about the adoption journey with the exception of the one that says it happens in God's time. Somtimes the devine engineering is clearly visible and other times it's subtle and under it all. Each story has God's signature on it and each moves at the rate of perfection.

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Thanks everyone. I think my mind has been flooded with memories and emotions more so than usual as we gear up to start another adoption journey. I remember thinking, wondering, and being a bit worried how I would ever be able to have the capacity to love another child as much as I did our first. But that quickly dissipated the moment our second was born. Then, I will admit, there was a worry that I would bond as quickly to Talmage as I had the other two. That thought was blown out of the water the moment I held him. I don't have those concerns now. Now the concern is "Will I have that opportunity again?" I/we don't know. I guess we need to remember as Garden of Hope said:

"Each story has God's signature on it and each moves at the rate of perfection."

Suzi, as always, thanks for the continued insight with your experiences with your original agency.

Thanks everyone!

Melinda

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Many factors are considered when Abrazo is contemplating the addition of new families to our program. The agency necessarily makes its admissions decisions based on the kinds of children being placed, the kinds of profiles being requested by the birthparents with whom we work, and the kinds of families being placed most recently.

Abrazo seeks to maintain an ample supply of families who are financially able to meet the average costs of Abrazo's cases (as posted on our website), who are open to children of full Hispanic descent (given that we are an agency in South Texas) as well as other ethnicities, and the agency also seeks out applicants who are geographically-able to comply with open adoption expectations for post-adoption visits (or who demonstrate a commitment to doing so despite geographical limitations.)

The majority of Abrazo's birthparents do prefer for the baby they place to be the first in a family (whether or not others will follow), because they want to know the attention their child receives will not be limited by the needs of other children already in a home. Abrazo does occasionally succeed in counseling prospective birthparents to also consider those with children, but our agency also understands the desires of birthparents who want their babies to be the "firstborn" and strives to respect this.

While Abrazo does still allow adopting families to express a gender preference, the agency is rarely able to accomodate inflexible gender requirements because the majority of Abrazo's birthparents do complete the matching process in advance of having sonogram identification of a baby's gender, and sonogram results are never guaranteed.

At present, the greatest birthparent demand seems to be for childless couples living in Texas. Those who are considering Abrazo and meet this description are encouraged to submit their inquiries (the "preapplication" form that can be downloaded from Abrazo's website here) promptly!

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Okay, I am officially panicking. :unsure::(:o

I was up late last night, slept lousy, and woke up around 5am. Why? Because I don't think that we filled out the inquiry app in a way that really expresses our adoption preferences. Like in special needs and other circumstances. Matt and I had a long talk last night about our feelings, concerns, hopes, etc.

If anyone out there is listening, we are more open than what we did/didn't fill out! Abrazo chicks-call/PM/whatever if you have any questions, please!

Thanks!

Melinda and Matt

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I was disheartened to hear that Abrazo is mostly seeking childless couples, but we are completely open on race and will take an older child as well (younger than our 32-month old son, who was also adopted). We have a very open relationship with his birth family in Kansas, and we live in Houston. So I'm hoping with all those factors that we'll still be admitted into the program. I've sent in the pre-inquiry form and I'm just waiting to hear back.

Mel =)

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Hi Mel,

Keep the faith! You've listed some important factors, openness to race and age being the biggest, which Abrazo will take into account.

In the meantime, cast your worries aside, celebrate and pray for your journey because it's already begun.

Hugs to you and your family!

Karen

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Hi Melinda and Matt,

Don't panic, this is a time of self discovery, Abrazo understands that.

However, do voice any and all preferences you will embrace, it can make a difference.

Being upfront allows Abrazo to do what they do best. :)

Hugs to you both!

Karen

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Hi Melinda and Matt,

Don't panic, this is a time of self discovery, Abrazo understands that.

However, do voice any and all preferences you will embrace, it can make a difference.

Being upfront allows Abrazo to do what they do best. :)

Hugs to you both!

Karen

Karen, thanks for the reassurance. I think I will be able to sleep better tonight. We are leaving (just the two of us!) for Hawaii on the 15th, so I hope we will have some news before then, but that's just over two weeks from sending it in.

Who knows? This might be our only romantic trip we get for awhile...I can live with that. :)

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Hi Mel,

Keep the faith! You've listed some important factors, openness to race and age being the biggest, which Abrazo will take into account.

In the meantime, cast your worries aside, celebrate and pray for your journey because it's already begun.

Hugs to you and your family!

Karen

Thanks for the reassurance! I hope we hear something soon.

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There are a few of us on here that can certainly attest to the need for more open special needs and racial preferences. This is not to slam those that have decided that they really can't work through placement of a full African American child or one that has special needs, but if your heart is so inclined, don't hesitate to let Abrazo know. We have two African American daughters (one placed through Abrazo) and think it is a wonderful thing. Not that we have it easy, we live in a racially charged area and people don't hesitate to share their opinion on our family!

Nichole was a "Nursery Note" as they did not have a waiting family that was open to full AA. The Stork posted a need, we responded and the rest is history!!

If anyone has any questions, please feel free to PM me or ask on the open forum if you would prefer!

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  • 4 months later...

Just an update... lately, the expectant moms who are calling our agency with specific requests in adopting parents are asking to see only profiles on childless couples living in Texas. (And given that the Texas families who are in Abrazo's program at present either all lack approved homestudies or finished profiles or both, that's a bit of a challenge!) So our upcoming orientation in October, we hope to bring in some more childless Texas couples.. y'all come on down, now, y'hear?

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Just an update... lately, the expectant moms who are calling our agency with specific requests in adopting parents are asking to see only profiles on childless couples living in Texas. (And given that the Texas families who are in Abrazo's program at present either all lack approved homestudies or finished profiles or both, that's a bit of a challenge!) So our upcoming orientation in October, we hope to bring in some more childless Texas couples.. y'all come on down, now, y'hear?

HI!!!! Home Study will be overnighted as soon as I receive it (they said they they sent it out ti us)! Any day now :)

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  • 2 months later...

These things go in cycles, of course! but lately, it seems that nearly every birthparent intake we've gotten is requesting only "Hispanic couples, living in Texas."

So that's good news, if you're a Hispanic couple, living in Texas, and hoping to adopt!

Start with the "AP Inquiry" (preapplication) form that you download here.

(And we'll take it from there.) ;)

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  • 5 months later...

cute_babies.jpg

A recent flurry of matches and pending placements has left our agency badly in need of childless couples for an upcoming orientation weekend being eyed for late June... recently, we've had an influx of expectant parents hoping to match with adopting families from Texas and would-be parents open to children of Hispanic and/or African-American descent. If you know of couples without kids who long to adopt, who seem to be a good fit for Abrazo's program(s), please send 'em our way! Muchas gracias!

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I love these kinds of posts, Stork Central!

It was one of these, back in feb 2008, that was our 'sign' and helped push us to send in our inquiry. I'm hopeful that this will catch the eyes of lots of couples, ready and just right for Abrazo and for some very special expectant parents! :)

ps - if you find yourselves in need of some tx againers one day, I might be able to send some your way... ;)

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This must be an answer to prayers!!! What an exciting post!!!

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This flurry of matches and pending placements is so exciting!

Congrats to all of these new families and hopefully the June orientation will be filled with couples who fit the needs that Abrazo has been noticing so that every expectant family can match with a family that is everything they hope for.

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  • 3 months later...

We LOVE that five of the eight couples who joined us for February orientation group this year are already home with their new sons or daughters, that the last couple from last year's orientation is matched and "expecting" this year, and that our newest orientation group (from July) and our latest tweeners are already well on their way, but we need more parents-in-waiting to fully meet the demands of prospective birthparents considering placement between now and next year! Our greatest need is for childless couples (especially Texans) and couples already parenting who are open to children of full Hispanic descent, as well as Anglo-Hispanic and Anglo/African-American and Hispanic/African-American or full African-American babies. So spread the word, if you know prospective adoptive applicants with documented infertility, who are over the age of 25, married more than a year, who are financially-sound, emotionally-stable, comfortable with open adoption and ready for parenthood! Send 'em our way, and maybe you'll see them at Camp Abrazo next July, with their new sons or daughters!

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