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KatieTenn

How Long Did You Wait? Why Abrazo?

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Hello everyone!

We are in the process of completing Abrazo's application, and hoping to attend the July Orientation if we can get everything in on time. The forum about why people chose Abrazo hasn't been updated in a while, so I thought I would give people the opportunity to share their stories again. Why did you choose Abrazo, and how long was your wait? Have there been many failed matches in your experiences?

We completed our Homestudy in 2/2012 and tried to adopt independently at first. We matched quickly, but it fell through last summer. Then we signed up with an agency in NM that we like, but they do not have many expectant moms that they are working with now. We like Abrazo and what they stand for, but it is a big decision to sign up for another agency after we have been waiting a while already, and then also have to pay more fees. Adoption-related decisions are tough!!

I hope no one minds us asking these questions. We are leaning towards Abrazo, but would just love to hear more feedback from the experiences of others. I love the sense of community that is built here!

Thanks!

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Hi Matt and Katie,

Welcome to the forum! Your questions are always welcome here! It sounds like my husband and I went through a similar process as y'all are. We tried to adopt independently first, then with a local agency (we were in TN at the time...now we are just across the state line in north MS). That particular agency also does not do very many placements. After about a year total we found our way to Abrazo (through the recommendation of our social worker and one of my husband's co-workers at the time) and eventually to our son! We went to orientation the last weekend in September, talked with his birthmom the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, matched, and he was born the day after Valentine's Day...4 1/2 months! (They say typically 6-12 months from when your file is active...that is homestudy completed and profile done.) That was more than 12 years ago, and I guess it says a lot about Abrazo, that I have stuck around!

Abrazo is a great agency and community. I've never heard or experienced any other agency like it. We did adopt our daughter locally almost six years ago...mainly for two reasons. One of course was the finances involved with travel and an out of state adoption, and the other was that we truly believe in open adoption and wanted to be closer to our next birthmom/family. We waited a year with the other agency, and were making plans to "head home" and attend the August 2007 orientation with Abrazo, when we got a call in June that a birthmom with the local agency wanted to meet us, and then our daughter was born in July.

With both of our adoptions we never had a match that did not end in placement. That is rare I think, and we are blessed. There are lots of families that have had matches that do not result in placement, and while that is heartbreaking, they go on to meet the child that was "meant to be" theirs. I think it's good that Abrazo and Abrazo's families empower the expectant moms to make the best choice for them and their child...even if it means reconsidering their decision to place.

I could go on and on. The staff at Abrazo are very knowledgeable and experienced. You would be in very good hands. One difference I think many of us have noticed is that they do not necessarily cater to the adoptive families. They treat each person equally (expectant parents and adoptive parents) and are always concerned first and foremost about what is best for the child involved. They do not "work" for you because you pay their fees. They tend to tell it like it is, and that may not be pleasant to hear sometimes. But I know family after family who are glad they listened and followed the wisdom of these women. Another plus and difference I have seen with Abrazo is that they only "sign up" as many families that they think they can place with in a reasonable amount of time. The two other agencies we worked with will sign up as many families as come to them, which can definitely make the wait time longer.

Hope this helps! I know many others will chime in. This weekend is the annual Camp Abrazo, so many of our forum faithful are still in Texas or traveling home.

I wish you the best on your journey!

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It is late for me...but I will come back to give the short version of our long story later this week.

Amy

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I will come back and answer too after we get home from camp (one special event that makes us glad we found Abrazo! )

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We fly home Tuesday so I will come back that night or Wednesday and answer. Camp Abrazo is just one of the things we love about Abrazo and truly shows what a loving family/community it has created.

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Matt and Katie,

Just uploaded pictures from our annual Camp Abrazo weekend. You can view all of the photos in the gallery under Camp Abrazo 2013, to get a glimpse of what this agency is about...Family.

Best of luck as you try to decide which way to go!

My Abrazo Babes are 17 and 12. Our wait was under a year both times, with 1 failed placement in between. Our family is exactly the way it's meant to be. Adoption is a complete leap of faith, follow your heart, educate yourself on the risks and gain strength in knowing you will find "who" is looking for you, at exactly the right time. I know you'll get feedback from more recent families who have gone through the program.

Karen

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Hi Matt & Katie - way to get the ball rolling with this! We have two boys adopted through Abrazo. We attended orientation in Feb 2010 and took placement of our first child in July 2010. For our second we attended orientation in April 2012 and took placement in January 2013, we had one failed placement this time around. The journey to our two kids was very different from each other as no two are alike. But Abrazo was there to help us along the way and taught us how important open adoption is. We are in regular contact with both of our kids' birthfamilies and love it. It feels completely natural and, as others have said, I wouldn't want it any other way!

I also like the support that they provide for the expectants mothers that come to them. One of the things that drew us to Abrazo was the personal attention we felt we'd get from going with a smaller agency and we have felt supported when we needed it, and I know they provide the same to the birthfamilies. As I've gotten deeper in this forum, it also provides a wealth of info on any topic and there are a number of birthmoms that post here as well. I've learned so much from them and it helps me navigate the ever growing/changing relationships with our kids' birthfamilies. We only looked at larger agencies in MN where we are from but something drew us to Abrazo and I recommend this agency to anyone I know that is adopting.

In adoption, as Karen mentioned, it's a leap of faith. Follow your gut instinct and go from there. Good luck and ask away for ANY questions you have!

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We completed our initial application and signed up for the forum the end of April 2009. We went to orientation in June and then matched soon after that. Mitchell was born the end of November so our total process took about 8 months. We are going to the July orientation and are looking forward to this next step. What I like most about Abrazo is in their belief in openness and the support that is given to the birth families both before placement and after. They made us believers and now I wouldn't want it to be any other way. We had no failed matches so I think we were lucky there.

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We researched several agencies before coming to Abrazo. One reason we initially came to them was that we met a couple (a neighbor!) that had adopted through them and had good things to say. Just seeing someone with a successful adoption was very helpful to us as we were contemplating what path to take.

We liked that Abrazo had an orientation. We not only learned but built friendships and a support system with the other couples. That has been invaluable in my mind. Those friendships (and what we learned about open adoption) is what just motivated us to drive 3,000 plus miles for Camp Abrazo - a yearly reunion (you'll see lots of photos being posted!). I've never heard of another agency that helps couples find common ground with other couples and encourages those friendships.

We liked that Abrazo taught us about open adoption and how it could benefit the child. We weren't opposed to the idea, but we didn't know very much about how it could work.

Top priority for us was to find an ethical agency that would not use coercive practices with vulnerable, newly delivered mothers. We desperately wanted to be parents, but in our hearts we wanted to do it the right way and according to the law... but also with ethical compassion. We believe we found that with Abrazo. Will some moms choose to parent instead of place? Yes. But you will have confidence that a child that needs you will come to you.

Our first time around we attended orientation in February 2010 and were placed with a beautiful baby boy the following month in March. This is UNUSUAL! But it goes to show that once you jump in you just need to be ready! We do not have an open adoption with his birthparents by their choice, but we have a friendship with the family that adopted his full biological sister. Our second time around a sweet boy came to us just before we were set to attend our second orientation. Again, that is pretty unusual but it is just the way it happened. Right now our first son is 3, and our second son will be 2 in July. We have a fully open adoption with his birthmother and her family. They attended camp with us this year. Both adoptions are totally different but we are so grateful for our sons.

Hope that helps! Each of our experiences are different, but it is good to see the many different ways things can unfold. It is definitely a roller coaster ride, but well worth it.

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Thanks everyone for your input. We mailed our application today!! We are still nervous about making the switch, but also feel good about it. I have a lot of family in Texas, and it has a special place in my heart, so we would love to adopt from there for that reason as well. It is really nice to hear other stories and experiences. Hopefully we will get to attend the Orientation in July!

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Hi Matt and Katie,

Congrats on getting your application sent in. I remember what a big weight that was to get done! The first time my husband and I did a homestudy it took us about 4 months to get all our questionnaires and paperwork done, it took weeks when we sent in our abrazo application and when we did our application for our 2nd son it took me about 4 hours. lol

Anyway my husband I spent 5 years waiting with an agency in Oregon before we came to Abrazo so it was a fairly easy decision for us. We really liked coming to orientation because we were coming from all the way across the country and wanted to get to know this agency and the people we were putting our trust in. We had two adoption heart breaks before abrazo of different magnitudes. When we came to orientation at abrazo, a couple at orientation shared their failed match story (that was part of their journey to eventually their oldest daughter) and it was sooooo reassuring... we were not alone! Whereas back in oregon we had felt alone in our failed match experiences. We did not have any failed matches with abrazo. Our son was placed with us about 6 months after we attended orientation. We went to orientation with something like 9 families - one couple took placement over orientation weekend and the last of the couples to place in our group placed 13 months after orientation. Some of the longest waits I have seen in Abrazo are like 18 months maybe... not 5 years. One thing that was very unique about our abrazo journey was that the time between birth and placement of our son very stressful. i remember those conversations with the abrazo chicks and asking them "is this normal? is this the typical placement experience to have so much uncertainly?" The answer was no it's not typical to have so much placement uncertainly. The chicks were there for us through those tough 3 days. In the end I realize what was really going on was that our son's birthmom felt very very comfortable being very very open with us about her feelings whereas sometimes other new moms experience the same doubts but are not open about it and then seem to "suddenly" choose to parent. The other unique piece of our abrazo journey is that our ICPC was over thanksgiving and was 3 weeks long. We drew the long stick of that year for sure. I'm grateful for it because we just can't get back to texas as often as others who live closer.

Immediately after our 1st son's adoption was finalized (he was 7 months old) we began researching adopting again. We were in the process of moving to Washington state and realized it would be very difficult to go back to texas a 2nd time around with a baby in tow this time and Ben did not have the time off from work saved back up that quickly. I would very likely be stuck in a hotel by myself with two babies waiting out icpc. we researched agencies in our new location and found an agency in washington. we went to orientation 2 weeks after our oldest boy turned 1 year old. we met our 2nd son's birthmom at orientation and he was born 3 weeks later. Highly unusual.

I appreciated the structure in abrazo. It's always very clear what the expectations are. I loved orientation. I went to orientation hoping to know the agency. I came home with a huge support group of new friends that carried us through our adoption journey (and through our journey for our 2nd son as well as it got quite rough between birth and placement as well). I have never seen another adoption agency that gives families the opportunity to know each other like abrazo (waiting families, placing families). I am the kind of person that likes to watch 15 people jump off the diving board before I can do it myself. It helped me tremendously to watch families through the forum before our time came.

Good luck!!

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Hello Katie and Matt,

I know how agonizing it can be to make such a major leap of faith. It feels strange to step out of one line, not sure if the next one is any faster, better, etc. We are from Chicago and researched local agencies, but the fit was just not right for us. I am a person who asks a lot of questions and we were afraid in a larger agency, we would be a number on a sheet. We heard about Abrazo through our doctor, as she had a patient with two placements through Abrazo. We began to research Abrazo and went into orientation unsure of the decision to fly all the way to Texas. But we knew we were in the right place by the end of the weekend. The other couples were awesome and supportive and we just knew it was right. We hadn't completed our homestudy when we attended orientation February 2010, and it took seemingly forever. May 18th we got our homestudy approval and spoke to our first 2 expectant mothers. We matched the following week. This match did not result in placement, however, we still remain in contact with this family. Three weeks later, we talked to a lovely woman and a week later we were signing entrustment papers. Our wait time from orientation was less than 5 months.

We came back to Abrazo for orientation in February 2013 to expand our family. We literally finished our homestudy today!

We have such a sense of peace about working with Abrazo. This is a group that cares about all aspects of the adoption triad. This is one of the most emotionally charged experiences of my life and it was paramount in my mind to have someone with experience, with compassion, and with a sense of humor. Because it is a roller coaster!!!

We wish you the best in your journey and look forward to cheering you on from the sidelines!

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Hi Katie and Matt,

Welcome to the forum! You will find this place a wealth of information. We first found Abrazo in May 2002 when we attended their orientation. We were matched in August and took placement in November. We came back "home" in November 2007 and were matched in January. Our son was born in June 2008.

We wanted to work with Abrazo because they were the only agencies we talked to that did open adoptions. Some of the agencies skirted around the idea but after attending our first orientation we knew that Abrazo really did it. Abrazo also felt like family from day one.

After our first placement, we looked elsewhere but in the end we knew Abrazo was were we most comfortable.

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Hi Katie and Matt, it is great to see you already asking questions on the forum, which also happens to be a big reason we signed on with them. I loved having so much information at my finger tips!

We found them and sent in our Inquiry in March 2009, we went to Orientation in June 2009, matched in October 2009 and our son was born at the end of November 2009. Our second journey was very different. We sent in our Application in July 2012, attended Orientation in August 2012 and our Daughter was born in February 2013. She was what the agency refers to as a BOG ( Baby on the ground) meaning that her birth mom had not made an adoption plan prior to her birth. We received THE call on Saturday morning and we met our beautiful daughter that night, she was two days old.

Each of the stories you will hear will be completely different, some with more bumps along the way but everyone will now tell you it was worth the ride!!

We never had a failed match.

We have open adoptions with both of our children.

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Hi, Katie and Matt! Welcome to the forum. Glad to see you're already on here. :)

With our first journey, we signed on officially with Abrazo at the beginning of May, 2010 and went through a couple of failed situations before getting "the" call on September 23 (4 months in) about a birthmom due to be induced the following Monday. We talked to her Thursday, she chose us Friday, we started our drive to Texas on Saturday and we met her first thing Monday morning in the hospital, where our son was born at 2pm.

This time around we went to orientation 4 months ago in February, 2013 and have not been matched yet.

All situations are so different. I remember our first time around wanting to understand everyone's situations because it made me feel hopeful that anything could happen. You could come into Abrazo and have a baby a day later or you could wait a year or more. There is just no way to know. No two stories or situations are the same!

We signed on with Abrazo the first time around because I felt comfortable all the way around. The reason we came back the second time is because of the sense of family that's built by this community and that's something I really wanted for our second child as well.

Good luck to you!

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I also wanted to add the reasons why we chose Abrazo:

1. The Forum

2. The Orientation - We have made life long friendships from both of our orientation groups

3. Camp Abrazo - We have attended the last four years

4. What Abrazo stands for

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hi katie and matt! welcome to the abrazo community!

i was struck by your original post, as andrew and i were in a very similar situation two years ago. we completed a homestudy and began working with a local agency (in the washington, d.c., area) in october 2009... we ended up matching with an expectant couple in december 2010 (which was, believe it or not, a short wait for this particular agency), then took placement of their daughter in february 2011. unfortunately, that particular placement wasn't destined to end in a successful adoption, as the parents revoked their consent for adoption later in the month (something they were legally entitled to do in the state of maryland). when we were prepared to start the process again, in june 2011, we weren't certain that we wanted to sign on with a second agency. we had been very impressed by how our local agency treated their expectant / birth parents... and we wanted to be absolutely certain that any agency that we worked with would be as committed to providing counseling and other support services to expectant / birth parents. like you, however, we ended up submitting our inquiry and application to abrazo...

we attended orientation in august 2011, we were matched with an expectant mother in october 2011, and we took placement of gavin in january 2012. exactly one year and ten days later, we took placement of his brother, jayden.

over the past two years, we have become members of the extensive abrazo community... formed through orientation weekends, the online forum, regional get-toethers, and the annual camp abrazo. as others have said elsewhere on the forum, it has been enormously helpful to reach out to others who understand the roller coaster of adoption first-hand. but, as important as this community has been for me and andrew, it has been even more important for our sons' birthparents, and particularly their birthmother. she attends weekly birthparent support group meetings, as well as special events, such as camp abrazo, the annual thanksgiving dinner, and a birthmother homecoming event. she truly considers the women of abrazo to be her family... their support and friendship have been enormously important to her over the past couple of years. i *know* that the women of abrazo will always be there for her... at any time of the day, any day of the year... today, tomorrow, and twenty years from now. that is, more than anything else, the reason that i would recommend abrazo to any prospective adoptive parent..

fingers crossed that you can attend the upcoming orientation!

sara

Edited by Sara
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To be completely honest with you, my adoption with Abrazo was a total right place, right time, right baby ---AKA hand of God thing. I sent an email on a Thursday night after a social worker in Idaho told me about them. The following Friday I met my two day old son! I had no idea who they were or what I was doing in Texas BUT I have learned tons about the life long process called adoption, made life-long friends, and have a community to lean on. I consider myself - one very very lucky Mom

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Your story sounds somewhat familiar to me as well. We signed on with a local agency (the same one as Sara and Andrew in the DC area) in July 2009, were homestudy ready in October 2009, and settled in for what we figured would be around a 1-2 year wait. The wait times for this particular agency were getting longer and longer and their program was dealing with a lot of staff turnover as well. We started looking at what they called "out of area agencies" in the summer of 2010 at their recommendation. I did a ton of research and looked at each of the agencies on their list of those that Barker families had been successful with. The only agency I was at all comfortable with was Abrazo - the forum sold me truly as I learned so much and gained confidence in the agency through seeing and watching other families go through the process. It was a tough decision, as you've mentioned, to enlist another agency and start our wait all over again. In August/September 2010, we were considered for a special needs child (a 14 month old baby girl born at 24 weeks) who was in TX foster care. Her foster parents ended up deciding to adopt her (a very good thing!) and so we looked back at all the research we'd done and knew what our next step should be - Abrazo. We sent in our inquiry in October, quickly filled out the application and attended the November 2010 orientation. We had a few calls and thought we'd had "the" call in May 2010. Unfortunately, in August of that year, that match ended abruptly. We headed home to DC and less than 2 weeks later, we did get "the" call that brought us back to Texas that same day and signing entrustment papers the next morning before meeting our beautiful boy at 1 week old. Ours was a bumpy ride but SO worth it. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Joseph and his first family were meant to join ours.

Our second journey with Abrazo has been even bumpier but having Joseph gives me faith that the right match will come along again. We jumped back in for our second round a little earlier than we had expected to when I called Brianna after seeing a nursery note here on the forum in September 2012. I immediately felt a connection with a family whose needs were not met by anyone in the program at that time. We matched the next week, attended orientation in October and quickly got ready to welcome a baby girl to the family in December of 2012. This match ended without placement when her circumstances changed in the days before the baby was born. We have had a few more calls since that match ended, one resulting in a very short match just last month. Luckily, the wonderful Abrazo chicks did their thing and found out very quickly that it was a scam. So, now we are back to waiting for the right match to find us.

I think our experience is probably one of the bumpier ones but we are still so glad we have put our faith in Abrazo. They are truly family to us and I don't honestly know if I could trust anyone else with our hearts and the hearts of our child's first family.

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So, I'm back.....

I started researching an agency for our second adoption in 2003. But we were not really ready (emotionally, financially...etc) until 2004. I started seriously researching agencies. We live in Virginia...& to be frank, the adoption laws of Virginia are pretty stinky. I knew from the experiences of our first adoption in 2000, that we needed an agency that provided:

  • birthparent support
  • a full service agency
  • be located in a state that had shorter parental termination...more on that shortly
  • had supportive staff & adoptive families.

I spent many nights on the computer reading through agency, after agency...I KEPT coming back to ABRAZO. I read the forum from beginning to end...there wasn't as much traffic at that time nor members. I knew all the stories...knew what to expect as far as the process with ABRAZO...& knew that we belonged with ABRAZO.

Background...our first adoption was extremely rocky with more twist & turns than we bargained for. We learned SO MUCH during the adoption of our daughter & that made us know that for our next adoption what we could & could not stand/tolerate during a second adoption. Virginia has basically a 25 day termination law. We did an independent adoption & those laws had to be followed during our daughter's adoption...hence, the search for a state with a shorter termination phase.

We signed on with ABRAZO in March 2005. Attended orientation in May 2005. We had one match early on that didn't pan out. But 2 short weeks later we matched with our son's birthparents...Hayden was born August 14, 2005. We were there when he was born, spent time with his birthparents before & after birth.

Hayden is now 7, almost 8! WOW, it really doesn't seem possible that Hayden is almost 8.

The community within Abrazo is very special...these are friends that have carried us through some of Hayden's medical issues valleys while cheering us on through the peaks. I can't image a better place to be involved with.

Feel free to message me for personal questions.

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Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. It is really helpful to hear about your experiences, and nice to see that most are very positive. I can see that the sense of community built here is really valuable and that you all seem to really trust the agency staff. That they emphasize open adoptions is also really great. I have thought of a few other questions...

How far along is the expectant mom when you are "matched"? We get nervous about long matches, so it would be nice to see what the average is with Abrazo.

Quite a few of you have had failed matches... is that fairly common? I know it can't really be predicted, but that is a rough thing to go through, especially multiple times.

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I think the abrazo chicks famous saying is that they are social workers not so much statisticians at abrazo. So they have very few statistics. Though one of the newer abrazo "chicks" did some math recently on wait times. (Sidenote: it sounds awful to call them "chicks" if you are unfamiliar - I swear I'm not a jerk - the ladies at Abrazo call themselves the Abrazo chicks so it's a name used with playful affection.) I don't know how many have failed matches with abrazo versus those that don't. I do know the journey of infertility and adoption is one that is froth with heartaches/breaks of varying magnitudes and that no one goes through that journey without heartbreak of some form or another. While some might not have had an official failed "match", perhaps they had hopes dashed, rejections upon rejections (we had many of those and they hurt dang it! lol). Parents in waiting at abrazo have documented infertility so they carry that wound as well.

So why do it if you know you might (probably will) get hurt? When we came to abrazo I came with so many of these same questions that you have. I very much wanted some guarantees that we were going to be okay. I wanted to be protected from another heart break. I had to do some soul searching and realized that our (failed) match in Oregon before abrazo was "a chance". That's what every match is... a chance. I came to realize that if I could go back and have a "redo", I would still choose to match with the gal in oregon for the chance to be a mom. With a heap load of patience all those chances came through. We came home with Collin and then Parker. I leaned heavily on those that went before us that told us the journey would be worth it. And I was grateful to know that the abrazo chicks were going to be there for us. They were. And the journeys were worth my boys!

In terms of long matches that is another one that you just have to let go and be willing to come in on faith. There are some very very long matches (7 months? I can't remember the maximum match time with abrazo) and some very very short matches (same day match and placement) and lots of in between. The baby/child meant for your family will find your family - short/long/medium match. I came with the SAME fears that you are expressing. I left our adoption journeys with two boys. My cup literally runneth over. :) I was able to snuggle with my boys tonight because in 2008, I moved forward despite my fears, uncertainties and wounds. I am so very sorry to hear of the passing of your grandparent by the way. Oddly it seems like a parent or grandparent passing during the adoption journey IS a very very common happening. Ben's grandma passed while we were parents in waiting with abrazo. I don't know if you are a religious person. I can't help but wonder if there is some significant link in that coincidence like grandma/grandpa are going off to help bring baby to your family. It's a nice thought anyway.

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Very well said Suzi!

Adoption is not for the faint of heart. It is definitely a leap of faith. It sounds like you've already taken some leaps and experienced some heartbreak. While all of us who have become parents through adoption are different and have different stories, I think the thing we all agree on is that when your child is in your arms, it doesn't matter what you went through before that point. They are worth it, and you would do it all over again!

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Suzi said it perfectly. I can remember all those same questions, too. I read the forum from cover to cover, somehow trying to predict would would happen on our journey based on the stories of those who came before us. But I can testify that our first journey was unique and I'm sure our second one will be, too. No two stories are ever the same and there's just no safeguarding against the pain that inevitably comes along with adoption. What I can tell you, though, is that you become stronger than you ever thought possible and that's a trait that will serve you very well when you become parents. And as the Abrazochicks say, it's not "if" you become parents, but "when." So just keep trying to look on the bright side of "bad" situations... there is always a silver lining at Abrazo.

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Looking back at these same questions I had after coming through a successful adoption is really interesting. I remember calling and running through about 20 questions with Abrazo staff (Angela) and looking back now I sort of cringe at how much learning still lay before me :) And I'm so thankful that the Abrazochicks and friends here take the time to "tenderize" and educate along the way.

When I was asking those 20 questions I just really wanted to say "will I come through this in one piece?" - emotionally, financially?

But I think it's a HUGE testament to this agency that shortly after orientation I was adding to that question "will my child's first parents - whoever they may be - come through this in one piece?" And how can I help with that?

And 3 years later I'm typing this message after a weekend with my son's birthfamily and still caring VERY MUCH that they are still doing well and are in one piece - as emotionally and financially secure as they can be and feeling our emotional support. Happy to report that they are doing well too!

The pains of disappointment in waiting, the grief you feel for the birthparents even in a successful adoption, and the emotions/empathies you feel for your child-once-adopted are all a part of the complete picture of adoption. Abrazo doesn't guarantee that it will be easy but they are so awesome at reassuring you that if you are dedicated to becoming a parent then it WILL happen.

As for estimates, I believe they told me back in 2010 they are on par with national averages for failed matches - around 20%, so about 1 in 5. And the times for matches - seems like long ones are around 5-6 months - but that number isn't the complete picture because you will have extra information about the situation (like need for maternal support) before you commit to a match. There is a thread on the forum about the benefits of long matches, and another thread about the stress of very short matches. These are excellent reads!

Sorry for the recent loss of your grandmother. Take care,

Amy

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