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Hello all. My husband and I are so excited to begin the process of adoption, as it has been in our plan since the beginning.

We are a San Antonio-based couple but currently my husband is in the Caribbean for medical school while I travel between there and home. I will be permanently settled, hopefully beginning the home-study process in November, and he will be back in December. Then, permanently in April-May.

When I was a foster/adopt mom before we were married, I had two beautiful boys. They moved on from my home, I got married to my amazing husband, and now we hope to continue our family plan through adoption. Before we discovered my difficulties with conceiving, adoption was in our family plan - now we are even more sure that it is the right path for us and feel excited and blessed to have the opportunity to proceed with a birth-mother matching (before, we were going to go through DFPS again - which can be really hard in many ways). Our hope is to adopt an child of African American race and we do have a gender preference for a boy. I have worked with kids for over 15 years and I have always hoped our first kids would be boys. We are open to expanding our family with children of both genders, of course. We have our own authentic reasons for hoping for a boy first, and I will spare you of the explanations and save it for the case workers and home study folks! (Unless anyone else wants to discuss this issue of having a gender preference?)

Anyhow, through this beginning stage in the process, I would love any advice.

Practical stuff: What paper work do I need to get in order?

Emotional stuff: How do you deal with the swells of excitement and blessing, which can be followed by swells of fear of disappointment of failed placements?...I know we can handle this - my husband is a strong, supportive source of strength for me - but I would love to hear other people's experiences so I can get a clear picture of the reality of this possibility.

I have enjoyed reading these posts and look forward to interacting with all of you. I don't know if my husband will be posting on the forum much, but I'm sure we will investigate different topics together and we thank you for all of your sharing.

Warmly,

NSH

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NSH,

I'd say the forum is a great place to start. Poke around, read posts here and there, it's a great basis to get familiar with agency adoption, matching, the emotional roller coaster, etc. Make yourself at home. I can't to your specific questions. I had some strong feelings that our baby would be a boy but we did not state a gender preference and he was a boy! I felt like it was all things working out as they were supposed to.

Suzi

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Hello, welcome! We are SA AP and love Abrazo. Let us know how we can help!

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Hmm, my post disappeared! Maybe it was because I'd included a link? (though it was just to Abrazo's inquiry form page)

In any case, welcome! The first step in terms of paperwork would be to fill out Abrazo's inquiry form and send that in, if you haven't already done so.

It can be tricky specifying gender, since ultrasounds can be wrong (happened to my second cousin this year). But if you are willing to wait for a situation to come up in which a child has already been born - or for an older child - than you could request that.

The forums are full of different people's experiences - Have fun reading!

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