linlacor 23 Posted November 15, 2002 Report Share Posted November 15, 2002 Big thumbs up to Abrazo for not pressuring birthparents toward a decision to place. After speaking with a birthmother last night, we talked about this decision and how the only people who can possibly know what is the right decision are the birthparents..... not an Adoption Agency, not Adoptive Parents, not Birth Grand-parents, etc. Ultimately, the birthparents are the only ones who know if placement is the right choice for them and their baby. She told me about her conversations with Abrazo and how they've been very supportive of whatever decision she makes - even providing her with information on programs available to her and her baby should she decide to parent. Kudos Abrazo!!! As a birthparent, I find this to be just one more reason why Lance & I made the right decision in choosing Abrazo as the adoption agency we want to work with to help us adopt our baby. I could not bear the thought of adopting our baby from birthparents who were pressured into thinking that adoption was their only choice and their best choice. Unfortunately, I believe it may be the case that there are STILL (argh!!! ) agencies/attorneys out there with this type of philosophy. Thank you, thank you Abrazo for offering your unbiased support to these people who have a HUGE decision to make and for helping to empower them to look inside themselves to find the choice that is best for them and their baby. You have our deepest respect - Lisa & Lance P.S. I hope I won't be tarred & feathered for saying this also but I just wanted to comment on this as well. I've spoken with more than one birthmother who has said something to the effect of, once they make their decision and decide to place and match with their Adoptive Parents, they feel something of an obligation to place their baby with that family because if they changed their mind, they're concerned for how that will make the Adoptive Parents feel. This saddens me to hear this. If you make a decision to place & match with a family and later re-evaluate your decision to place and decide that parenting the baby yourself is actually the right decision for you & your baby or that you'd rather place with a different family...That's Ok. Yes, we will be heart-broken. Yes, we will be disappointed but we can pick ourselves up and try again - our babies are out there and when it is the "right" baby, they will find us. Abrazo has a great motto for us prospective Adoptive Parents..."it's not if, but when". I steadfastly agree with this and I hope all other APs do as well. When it is the right time and the right baby, all will fall into place and we will become the parents of the child that is meant for us to parent. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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