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Oh Mari, my heart breaks for you and your family.....He has created so much history with each one of you. I have not had the fortune of having a pet since my parents and I moved and traveled a lot when I was growing up. I understood that it was not fair to them if we got a pet but I could not help but yearn to have them. I know that they really become a member of the family and that the worst part of having them is the moment to say "good-bye."

I hope that you, Lauranda and your family are finding peace with Teddy and Ginger being together in heaven. It sounds like Teddy gave a tremendous amount to your family and I have no doubt he will continue to make you smile and laugh with the memories he's created with you.

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Mari, I just wanted to tell you that you are such a blessing to this community. Your insight and wisdom are so valuable. You always have a level head and loving heart in the words you share, and I ap

Thank you Leah! I'm glad I was able to add to my photo gallery. I was trying to figure out how to post from my phone, since I can't get access to Abrazo website from home computer.. And to borrow

Beth Thank you Beth… I needed the hugs …. Not feeling sorry for myself or anything, it’s just part of the journey and process and those bitter sweet moments that creep up especially during SPECIAL/Me

Thank you Airi for your sweet words... , he was Lauranda's first baby bringing out her mothering instincts... We will always have him in our hearts...</p>

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Wow, I really admire people who can write emails and post from their cells... I struggled just to type what was right above... ugh... :blink:

So let me try on a LARGE KEY BOARD...

Her dolls were great, she loved them and kissed them and put them to bed all the things she associated with a mama.. but her first dog, well that was a different story, he was able to show her love right back.

I'm sorry you missed out on having one, I know they are a lot of work and committement so it's understandable your family situation. But maybe, little Ms Juliet will have the opportunity you didn't have.. ;) ;)

Right now I am in a quiet house with only Lauranda's other two doggies keeping me company, she's gone off for the day with one of her aunts for a girls day (which I llove for her) and her dad is at a soccer game... Hummm debating whether to go back to bed for a while or do house work... tough call....

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Mari, I'm just reading this and I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. Dogs pull some unique heart strings and really do become family members. It's so hard to let go bit even harder to see them suffer. I hope y'all are doing okay.

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May healing and laughter return to your family soon. Pets are a precious part of what fills a home with love. Hugs

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Thank you Ellie, Heidi, for your thoughts and sweet words..pets do pull those heart strings and certainly are precious parts of families and homes.

Today we rec'd the most beautiful condolence card from our Vet, along with some inspirational reading inserts and a packet of wild flower seeds with a beautiful poem to plant in his memory.. I tried to get through reading it all, but had a hard time, I will try again another time. Lauranda wasn't ready to look at any of it yet, I know it will take a bit longer for her.

Hope all have a wonderful Sunday..

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When we lost our cat a few years ago, out vet sent us a card and poem too. They also took his footprints in a plaster heart. It was so sweet that they thought of us.

If the poem is the one about the "Rainbow Bridge" it is very hard to get through.

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When we lost our cat a few years ago, out vet sent us a card and poem too. They also took his footprints in a plaster heart. It was so sweet that they thought of us.

If the poem is the one about the "Rainbow Bridge" it is very hard to get through.

We got that poem when our pet rabbit died a few years ago. Too funny!

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When we lost our cat a few years ago, out vet sent us a card and poem too. They also took his footprints in a plaster heart. It was so sweet that they thought of us.

If the poem is the one about the "Rainbow Bridge" it is very hard to get through.

Monica,

I think the poem name is Paws in Heaven, to be perfectly honest, I haven't tried to read it since we got it Sat. so I am not 100% sure that is what it is. Once I can go back and read I'll let you know.

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I think it's often hard for those who lose 4 legged family members that the grieving period by the outside world is expected to be shorter than if one loses a human family member. I haven't had the opportunity to have a dog but I did have a paraqueet growing up as a child and right before we moved to the States, he died. He was definitely a part of the family--he ate when we ate, I played with him when I got home from school, and he traveled with us everywhere....I had a very hard time getting over his passing. Teddy was such a special dog to Lauranda and your family and it will undoubtedly take a long time to heal and remember him without missing him to intensely....I send you, Lauranda and your family lots of love and prayers your way.

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I think it's often hard for those who lose 4 legged family members that the grieving period by the outside world is expected to be shorter than if one loses a human family member. I haven't had the opportunity to have a dog but I did have a paraqueet growing up as a child and right before we moved to the States, he died. He was definitely a part of the family--he ate when we ate, I played with him when I got home from school, and he traveled with us everywhere....I had a very hard time getting over his passing. Teddy was such a special dog to Lauranda and your family and it will undoubtedly take a long time to heal and remember him without missing him to intensely....I send you, Lauranda and your family lots of love and prayers your way.

Pets can drive you crazy or warm your hearts (just like some family members).. But they are always there to give unconditional love.. Well most of them.. My oldest daughter got a poodle when she was in the second grade, she had been wanting a dog, so we made a deal if grades were good she could have one, will grades were good so I took her to the humane society and she found a female poodle that many years later could have been teddy’s twin.. We had her for a few years, but one morning as we were getting ready for school/work, she went outside and a thunderstorm suddenly came out of nowhere with loud thunder, I think her dog got spooked and somehow managed to get out of the fenced yard. She cried for weeks, we put up signs, called the radio stations, drove around for days on end, each time she saw one that looked like hers we would stop to check it out. (Hadn’t realized how many poodles had the exact same coloring and size).. She finally gave up I think to give her heart a break.. Then came a canary, who loved to fly in his cage and sing to his little hearts delight.. Had him for many years before he passed.. She wanted no more pets after that.. Now though she has two dogs that she’s had for several years.

Lauranda has had her dogs, Theodor, Teddy for short, her toy poodle born in 96, Ginger Bread a cocker spaniel born in 99 (she was supposed to be my mom’s dog, bought it for her bday, but my step-dad got diagnosed w/cancer and she couldn’t take care of them both so we took her) Jose Blade Christmas an apple head chihuahua born in 04 and most recent Chiquita a deer head chihuahua born in 11, (she came from my mom also, who decided to get the dog for my nephew without asking his mom who said no dogs, so Lauranda took her).. And in 2004 she also got a hamster named LD, short for Little Devil.. He was mean, got him for a science project, and had him for a little over three years, I hadn’t realized that they don’t have long life span.. Then Ginger passed in Dec of 10...Both of these losses were rough for Lauranda, but nothing compared to Teddy..

“Mari, I hope that the reduction of work hours is a good thing for you as you probably have other projects in the works. You do seem like someone who is juggling a lot of things and doing very well at each thing!”

No not really a good thing, I love to work, have worked since I was 14.. I did take a few months off when I left a time consuming and demanding job after almost 28 yrs in 05, but found I was driving myself crazy..You can only clean so much and I wasn’t about to get hooked on daytime soaps.. I then worked at a church, mother’s day out program a couple of days a week, which actually worked out great because it was Laurandas 8th grd year and the last of 10 years at the same school. (Catholic School) where I was asked to be a head room parent, one of only two responsible for planning and executing all the year’s activities/fundraisers for their last year there, which was no easy task with 70 plus students and their parents.. But when she started high school, I needed something more, so I found another part-time job that allowed me the flexibility to make all her VB games and tournaments. Been at this job since 06.. Although I missed working 12/14 hour days, even weekends and traveling a bunch at first, I did enjoy part-time after a while. I have to say though that before Lauranda’s BT, I had planned on getting two part-time jobs or maaayyyy be finding something fulltime when she started college, those plans are not in the cards for me right now, but that’s ok.. I like to stay busy, feel productive and the BEST part is that I also like to have my OWN $$, and buying what I want/need when I want/need to without having to ask or be at the mercy of my spouse.. Just the independent side of me.. :D

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Ok, well I see this posting was from 2009, however, it touched me today, and I just wanted to say thank you to 1x Grandma. Your thoughts brought tears to my eyes and I sincerely thank you for posting. Your comment about the patchwork quilt really hit my heart. One of the cards we sent to our birthmother said exactly that message...about God's wonderful weaving together to make all come together for good through love. We are in contact with our child's birth-grandmother and it has been very special and a way for us to continue contact now that our birthmother has decided to receive communications only through her mother vs. directly because of her current living situation. Anyway, having the special connection back to the birthfamily of our almost 3 month old had been good for all of us and I am thankful that she wants to be a part of her grandaughter's life.

Thank you again for the gift of your post. Even years later now, it has reached out again and touched another family.

Sincerely,

Sherry, Michael & Maribella

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Thank you so much Sherry,. Good to know that others feel/see family the same as me, each person entwined with all the other members within their family/extended family. The best analogy I could connect with was the quilt, I love quilts even if I don’t own one myself (yet), I love to admire them where ever I see them and see how all the pieces fit so perfectly together, but most importantly to me is to appreciate the creator of such beauty, how much time, love, and care was invested in weaving these master pieces.

So wonderful grandma is able to be the bridge for your families while FM is unable to be there. I love being in my grand-daughter's life, but it's more important and wonderful to me that my daughter is part of her life. I am sure grandma feels the same way, in the mean time thank goodness she is able to step in allowing you to build that bond and relationship. Praying your daughter's FM will one day be able to have that connection with her/your daughter.

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The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people

is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or

sane enough to deal with.

To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves,

we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes.

- Pema Chodron

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I am so sorry to read about your and Lauranda's loss.

My parents lost our family dog of 18 years last year. My Parents still miss Fudge a great deal. I think he was like their child after we all left for college.

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Thank you Leah..

My condolences to your parents.. They do become like children.. These were the first grandchildren I had according to my daughter (s).

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This is one of our tough weeks… Four years ago tomorrow we almost lost my daughter; it was the first of several other close calls (too close) that put her and her daughter’s life in danger. Halloween was always a fun time; looked forward to it. But for the last three years it has had a totally different feel and we have spent these days keeping busy, working hard at doing something to reduce those dark memories that still seem to hover over my daughter, her dad and I during this time. Part of our ritual (no pun intended) has been to first and foremost give thanks to God for the blessings he bestows on a daily bases, although done daily, on these particular days we each know that this is the conversation we have with HIM more intensely because of the two miracles we still have. ONE DAY AT A TIME SWEET JESUS ONE DAY AT A TIME!!

Some Days are good. Some Days are bad. No matter the day. Always be glad for what you have.

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Some Days are good. Some Days are bad. No matter the day. Always be glad for what you have.

Mari, you are inspirational as always, even in a time that is difficult for you. Hoping these next few days go by fast so you can get through those memories.

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Oh Mari, I can only imagine what you went through 4 years ago. Now that I am a parent, I have a different understanding of what it means to have health and how grateful and blessed we are that Juliet has been healthy so far. I can now understand when people said, they would give up their own lives for their child. Your family has been through so much but your grace, compassion and wisdom have carried you through and through your generosity, you help others going through tough times. Lauranda has turned the traumatic experience to embrace life and to live it fully. That has been so inspiring.

I am sending you and your family lots of love and prayers your way during this time period as well as for passing of Teddy. You must still be grieving.... I also pray that everything works out with your job.

Lots of love, Airi

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Thank you Jocelyn, Airi....

I know one day we will not have such heavy memories...so looking forward to that time, but in a sense these memories keep us grounded, appreciating life, each other and so much more ...if that makes sense!!

Airi, yes still tough on loss of Teddy, we received a condolence card on Fri from some employees at the vets.. Once more Lauranda is still not ready to read this either, so I have put all these things in a safe place for when she is ready.. I still can't seem to put away his things, I think it took me a little over a month with our other doggie Ginger.. Thank you so much for your prayers..

Hugs to all....Happy Halloween...wishing all a safe trick r treating night.. We will be having a Special dinner @ Chilli's

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Thanks Airi...

We work hard at replacing or at least trying to replace sad/hard memories by making new good ones..

I am sure there is an area on raising kids that would fit this topic..but I must confess was being a little lazy to try and find it so I put it on my thread instead.. It was interesting reading for me, thought I would share.

Families Who Adopt Should Use Extra Health Services, School Support: Experts

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_129707.html

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Thanks for posting this link.

At our adoption support group at Church we had a excellent Speaker in September who discussed this topic and we learned so much!

Also, when we were looking for a pediatrician we specifically sought one out that worked with families that adopted. Not just for ensuring that they understood we would need more time during our well-baby check-ups for paperwork, etc. but for any emotional support we needed.

I'm so grateful for our pediatricain as she not only adores Alexander but she always ask us how we are doing.

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Thanks for posting this link.

At our adoption support group at Church we had a excellent Speaker in September who discussed this topic and we learned so much!

Also, when we were looking for a pediatrician we specifically sought one out that worked with families that adopted. Not just for ensuring that they understood we would need more time during our well-baby check-ups for paperwork, etc. but for any emotional support we needed.

I'm so grateful for our pediatricain as she not only adores Alexander but she always ask us how we are doing.

Leah, it sounds like your church has a great program for adoption.. do they offer this as well for placement side?

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Ok..so this week at work we start closing for a lunch hour and staying an hour longer which I don’t care for (staying longer :( ) but on the plus side I get to pick up my daughter from school another 2 days :) and the other 2 days that she gets out earlier (my first try yesterday) I am going to a nearby library to continue to work on my journal “our story”.. Looking forward to this quiet time to think without it being midnight :P … And just maybe I can also use some of this time to catch up on reading some of the many posts in other treads. :blink:

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