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A Birth Grandmother's Role


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Thank you,

Hannah, Tracie, Leah, Monica, Tamara, Frannie, Mandy, Dyna, Helen and all on FB who also wished me a Happy Birthday. I am so blessed to have such beautiful people around me that I can call family and friends. Much love to you ALL! :wub:

Tamara,

Have added Nana Rachel’s name to my prayer book, will certainly keep her and ALL her family in my prayers. Please let me know how she is doing when you can get some information. Thank you so much for letting me know, I think of her often since you mentioned her seizure. This all hits close to home for my family, we are here if we can be of any service.

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Tamara,

Just checking to see if you heard how surgery went for Nana Rachel and how she is doing.. Continue to keep her and all who love her in my prayers.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hard to believe it’s just 22 DAYS to Christmas and 29 to a new year.. Where has this year gone? :o

Had a wonderful November, and it was made super special with two visits… The first, a weekend visit with my angel girl and her parents, we so enjoyed having her spend the night once more. So heartwarming for me to see my daughter and her daughter interact together, she is so animated, funny and serious at the same time. Love just watching her. :wub:Second special person was my oldest daughter who came in for a week and spent her first Thanksgiving in years with us.. Love that she is not working in retail anymore, which allowed her the time to hang out with her little sis and spend family time .. Don’t like to think about her living so far away for so many years, mainly because I miss her, and secondly because it reminds me how much older I’ve gotten since she moved :lol:(couldn't find one with tears). It’s always hard watching her leave; don’t think I will ever get used to it, actually I know I won’t ever get used to it, which actually allows me to understand how my youngest feels when she says till the next time to her little one. :(

Lauranda (LaLa) is doing well at UTSA, think she is now used to her small portion of the huge campus, but I think she is ready for her Christmas break, and from what she tells me, this year her break isn’t as long as it was when she was in community college.. I told her when she goes into the work force full time it will be even shorter so she should start getting used to it now. I know kinda harsh :D

I hope all in Abrazo land had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and with what seems to be quite a few Abrazo babes having birthdays, wonderful family times.. How time flies!

Wishing each of you and yours a GREAT December.. Happy shopping!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Sitting here pondering the past year, I find many many things that have brought smiles, laughter, peace, comfort, tears, insecurities, good and bad health, stress, worries, family time, wonderful friendships new and old, challenges, opportunities and most of all Love. These have all been blessings in their own right; have been the things that make us who we are. I think about my mom losing five cousins this year, four of which were siblings, and it makes me appreciate each day she is with us that much more. I think of my daughters who have celebrated beautiful milestones this year, are happy, thriving, intelligent and determined young women, my grand-babe who is thriving, healthy, and happy, my small but intimate family of siblings, nieces/nephews, my mom and extended family (both those in-laws and through adoption), who bless my life each and every day, and my prayers and hopes for all of them is to have many more blessings this coming year and in the future. The friendships I’ve had the opportunity to have throughout our Abrazo community, the honor to share in each of your celebrations, the gift to be able to offer some comfort, prayer, support and receive in return when needed. My prayer for each of you as we soon begin a new year is that each of you continues to feel blessed, enjoy your family & friends, celebrate joyous occasions, and feel comfort and love in times of uncertainties. .

I know I am one very lucky person, even though sometimes I may forget. I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, mainly because I am not disciplined enough to keep them, but for those of you who do, I wish you the best results and success with whatever goals you set for yourselves. And for those of you who are like me, I still wish each and every one of you a very blessed New Year !

To Start A New Year "A new year is unfolding—like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within. Lord, let this year be filled with the things that are truly good—with the comfort of warmth in our relationships, with the strength to help those who need our help and the humility and openness to accept help from others. As we make our resolutions for the year ahead, let us go forward with great hope that all things can be possible—with Your help and guidance." Anonymous

A New Year’s Prayer

May God make your year a happy one!

Not by shielding you from all sorrows and pain,

But by strengthening you to bear it, as it comes;

Not by making your path easy,

But by making you sturdy to travel any path;

Not by taking hardships from you,

But by taking fear from your heart;

Not by granting you unbroken sunshine,

But by keeping your face bright, even in the shadows;

Not by making your life always pleasant,

But by showing you when people and their causes need you most,

and by making you anxious to be there to help.

God’s love, peace, hope and joy to you for the year ahead.

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  • 4 weeks later...

It’s hard to believe my angel girl will be six Tuesday! Last night I sat and looked at pictures over the last almost 6 yrs. starting with the very first picture taken of her. Remembering how scary it was for my girl and I, the weeks and days leading up to Tuesday Jan. 27.. We thought (assumed) once the brain surgery was behind, though still a bit cautious, things with the pregnancy would progress much better. The first trip since before BT to the specialist on the 16 of Dec. thinking specialist was going to release my daughter since it had been determined the reason she had originally been sent there was just due to an error in calculation. Then finding out that at almost 27 weeks, babe weighed approx 1.9, much too small; complications of her mom’s BT and all that went with that, so instead of releasing my daughter, she was given yet another appointment for follow up in a few weeks.

On Wednesday, January 7, we first stopped at Abrazo to drop off and pick up more profiles, sat for a while, meeting the entire staff and my daughter along with Audra finished up her paperwork. Then on to her follow up appointment and confident (once more) that this one was going to go much better. Little did we know that appointment was going to keep us on the rollercoaster of uncertainty, fear for two lives, and added stress at a time when we needed to keep my daughter’s stress level to a minimum, kinda like Murphy’s Law. At almost 30 weeks, babe had only gained .5 oz, she was now at approx 1.14, which continued to be alarming. Discussion was held on preparing baby’s lungs for early delivery, trying to keep pregnancy going for as long as possible, 37-38 weeks of course was the goal. Bed rest was ordered, now appointments were scheduled twice a week and from specialist office we were sent straight to hospital for steroid injections (two within 24 hrs) to help baby’s lungs. Specialist seemed to be optimistic, of course my daughter became a bit anxious, as did I, but I resolved once more to maintain or at least try to maintain a positive attitude and appearance for her benefit, but inside thinking “when are my baby and her baby going to get a respite from danger”, what choice did we have but continue in keeping our faith in God.

Morning of January 9, back to specialist for the next follow up, after monitoring and check up, we were given a form to start monitoring baby’s movements throughout the day at home and sent back to the hospital, this time for fetal monitoring the rest of day and as she was released from there that evening, we were advised to return on Sunday morning the 11th to be monitored again. The afternoon of the 12th , my daughter and I (her secretary) spoke with the first couple, well actually only the prospective Amom at the time, two other couples were planned for the next day and prospected Adad from first couple the following day.

Follow up with specialist on the morning of the 13th now brought more distressing news, doctor was now pretty sure babe would not make it to even 36/37 weeks much less full term, but needed to try and get baby as far along as possible without endangering mom, danger of babe dying in mom’s womb was a concern, going one week at a time became the goal and the daily prayer. We were told to prepare for babe to be in the NICU if delivery was successful (meaning babe survived birth), and of course there was the “OTHER” possibility. We were stunned and tried to wrap our heads and hearts around this news. As soon as we got home I called Elizabeth and advised of the latest news, also asked if the process with the adoption plan should be stopped. She advised that we should continue, to advise the PIWs of possibility of NICU stay. That afternoon we spoke with next two couples, first couple that day was extremely gracious and PAdad said they were very much open for consideration and had previously talked about the possibility (what ifs). Second couple that day (3rd in line) said they wanted to be considered, but we found them very hesitant at the same time, though they said they would discuss and get back to us. After those two phone calls, my daughter and I discussed third couple, and since they were from out of state we didn’t want them to feel pressure, we contacted Pamela and advised we didn’t want to put the third couple through any undue stress so we were removing them from further consideration. We asked Pamela to please contact them and advised them of my daughter’s decision concerning them. That alleviated one concern. We still needed to advise first couple, but we would be talking to PAdad the following day. Once we spoke with him, and relayed the information of an early delivery and NICU high possibility, we also found they were very receptive also, and had recently spoken of “the what ifs” and wanted to be considered. Now the next step, both couples from Texas as my daughter wanted, both very open, receptive and understanding. Pros/Cons not an issue, the choice was her’s and her’s alone. With her decision made, we again called Pamela to advice, this time we asked to contact couple and let them know my daughter had selected them, and we asked if she could please contact the other couple and inform. My daughter wanted me to make the call to the future parents of her daughter, which I did, but PAmom was still at work, I wanted to wait until they were both together, but my daughter was insistent that I tell PAdad, which I did, then promptly called PAmom to also give her the news.

Following day, Friday the 16 of January, again a morning appointment with Specialist, part of the time there was monitoring babe, but she was being a little stubborn and wouldn’t move, so they gave my daughter crackers, water, cold orange juice to see if that helped, that became the ritual, then when they had enough data (because she decided to cooperate), on to see the doc. Made it one more week, baby steps. Sunday the 18 of January exactly six years this past Sunday, we met my grand-babes future parents for the first time.

Following week next two appointments on the 20th and 23rd, nurses were already with the snacks and cold drinks, at one point we heard a loud gush noise like a rush of water sound, nurse hurried in and said they had heard babe down the hall, started getting good monitoring, by Friday’s appt. my daughter’s pregnancy had another week behind her, and another week to give her babe a better chance.

By following weeks appointments, felt a little more relaxed, deciding to take overnight bag out of my car (had been riding there for a while now). We had breakfast, had planned our day, would go by my mom’s and have lunch with her before going to another appointment that afternoon with her regular OB. Monitoring took much longer, ultra sound took much longer, sitting there waiting for doctor to come in, was taking much longer. Finally she arrived, right away I noticed a concerned look on her face as she continued to look at screen, she pointed out that the amniotic fluid was much too low, the blood pressure in the umbilical cord going from mom to babe was too low, not enough pressure to push the blood to babe more often than not as shown on the screen and monitors, babe’s heart beat was going too low, which we had already noticed in the monitoring room. Doc asked if my daughter had breakfast, answer yes, was told not to eat anything else, she needed to deliver that day by C Section, couldn’t risk my daughter having labor induced, felt the baby would not be able to tolerate and was concerned for my daughter as well. Doc would notify OB, she had already contacted hospital and they would be waiting for us, she wasn’t quite at 33 weeks yet, but couldn’t wait any longer. We left, made a detour home to pick up bag, headed to hospital, I stupidly thought we would get there they would put her in a room and start monitoring, but as soon as we got to the delivery area and gave her name, they came and wheeled her off to prep her for surgery, I waited in waiting room, sometime between leaving doctors office and heading to hospital, I notified my husband, adopting parents , my daughter in Vegas and my sister in law, forgetting to call my mom. As I sat in the waiting room with no one around, I PRAYED for both my girls. A nasty northern blew in changing the day from a beautiful, comfortable day with blue skies to grey, windy and cold one, all this within less than 3 hours, this was not how I saw it all unfold. My husband arrived then a nurse came to get us so we could wait with my daughter while her doctor arrived and they had me put on scrubs. They allowed her to get up twice to go to bathroom, and then kept her from moving anymore, each time she got up baby’s heart beats would apparently drop dramatically. I kept thinking “thank God she had her doctor’s appointment today”, all along kept trying to keep my wits about me for my daughter’s sake as much as mine, the concern of losing them both became very real once more. As I sat with my daughter in the operating room listening to doctors, nurses, monitors, we both anxiously awaited her child to be brought into the world. The doctor called for me to stand and I watched my grand-babe emerge, that first cry was what my daughter waited for, a cry we will always remember and as she heard it a tear traveled down her own cheek. She says that’s when she knew her baby girl was going to be alright, mother’s intuition I attribute it to. She was so right, thank God.

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What a beautiful journey with many lows & yet highs....PTL for Sloane :wub:

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Thank you so much for sharing your family's story. You are such a good teacher. There is tons we can all learn from your daughters story. The love your family (both by blood and adoption) has is a true testament to the power of openness.

Our prayer is always that Caden will be able to have a relationship with his birth mom and sister.

Again, thanks for sharing.

Edited by Hcrouse
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Mari,

Thanks for sharing. I knew bits and pieces of all your story but reading it today brought tears to my eyes. Prayer is so important and faith. I am so happy for all of you that everything turned out alright and that Sloane is healthy and happy and turning 6 tomorrow!

Frannie

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Awww Mari, the wonder and miracle of it ALL. I am sure it seems like only yesterday, the memory of her special birth day (and days leading up to it) still perfect in your mind!

It all worked out, against so many odds. God is good. Everything went according to His plan, special people were in your life as they needed to be, for your daughter, as well as your grand daughter.

Thank you for sharing your miracle(s)!!

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Mari Thank You for sharing! God definitely has his plans, which are not always our plans. Your family is beautiful! Your writing is always wonderful to read! :wub:

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Thank you ladies,,

So right! God is good and his plans are perfect, even though sometimes our thoughts or plans are different.. My grand-babe had a wonderful b-day, we so enjoyed talking to her on her special day. :wub:

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Not sure where I could have put this, but in case any one is interested...

Nominate A Young Volunteer Ages 6-18 for up to $10,000 in Scholarships.

http://www.kohlscorporation.com/CommunityRelations/scholarship/

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  • 3 weeks later...

Glad last week is behind me and it's a new week.. Ended up in the emergency room last Wednesday night with sever hip area spasms. Given a powerful narcotic injection plus muscle relaxant that caused me to see walls moving and my daughter and husband looked pretty blurred and two of each in less than 10 min after injection.. Told them I wouldn't be a good druggie.. Then laid up for the following couple of days and taking flexeril and Tylenol with codine several times a day.. And to make it tougher, my baby girl had a seizure while taking a shower, that scared the heck out of me.. She's doing well now, we both are, but her seizures, that had slowed down for a while have reared their ugly head again.. Just keep praying they are not as frequent anymore.. I know there are others who deal with this daily and l pray they find relief from theirs. No matter what we go through though, thankful to God for his care and LOVE always..

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