Jump to content

A Birth Grandmother's Role


Recommended Posts

Getting frustrated already with this cold weather.. (not the weather's fault though)... these last two cold spells are making me HATE coats even more.. Two brand new blazers/short jackets.. a leather one and a wool one I bought two years ago do not fit...ugh... I think I will start looking for a nice pancho style winter cover up instead of replacing with more jackets.... <_<

I feel your pain. I bought a new winter coat this year and last. I finally like the one I found this year but it's a little snug in certain areas...ugh. At least your colder weather is not 3 degrees (which is the temp in MN right now).

Since there isn't an "it's colder than blankety blank blank" smiley face, I will use with one. :ph34r: haha!

Nice to see you posting again Mari!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah...AMEN!!! to the not THAT COLD WEATHER!!! I almost froze in Maryland last Christmas...burr too cold for me...

Posting has become a real challenge for me... can't access the site from any of my computers, tablet or phones from home.... (Steven and I couldn't figure out what happened) so I can only access from work (sshhh our secret) When I have time.. or my cell when away from home, but typing on that small screen gives me a headache (I'm too slow on it) ha ha...

Have a great weekend and stay warm...

hum, maybe I'll contact Paula to make me a poncho from one of her beautiful blankets, she just needs to add a hole where my head goes...Ok never mind... it's been a LONG week.. So ready for the weekend... :lol:

Edited by 1st x grandma
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I hope everyone has been having a GREAT month and excited for Christmas, especially moms & dads with children who will experience their first X-Mas...

I know I'm excitingly awaiting Christmas Eve and the arrival of my first born child.. she hasn't been home for x-mas in several years so I can't wait that even picking her up at the airport that night doesn't bother me.. Yay...can't wait...can't wait.....can't wait.... :D:wub:

On another note, my second (last born) finished her fall semester last week with her last finale last Thursday... Looks like she may end up with A's in her two classes :rolleyes:..whew!!.. So proud of my child!! :wub: Now I am ready for a much needed break from school for a little while :lol: I get stressed when she gets stressed so the combo is stressful mentally :blink:

Wishing each family a wonderful weekend and an even BETTER Christmas!!

Edited by 1st x grandma
Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's so awesome!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you all.. Had a wonderful time with my girls and family.. Though the time went too quickly, especially when we had to take my daughter to airport yesterday, but that's how it is if you work retail.. Just glad she was able to come home for a bit anyway..

Hope all had a great Christmas, love seeing many beautiful pictures on FB.. Wishing all of you a safe and wonderful start to the New Year..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Hope all had a wonderful New Year's....

So much going on around the forum... EXCITING!!!!

Can't wait to welcome the second ABRAZO babe for this new year that was kicked off by little Mr. Ryder.. :)

Thinking of all who are dealing with some of the nastiest weather out there... Ya'll stay warm and safe!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

WOW is all I can say... When I posted yesterday about waiting to welcome the SECOND Abrazo babe for 2014 to join Ryder, didn't realize it would happen so soon!! :o

This year may turn out to be as busy as last..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thinking of first moms and first families as some precious babes have celebrated their first year of life.. ALL surrounded by loving parents and family. Prayers for all who love these babes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's hard to believe it's been five years since my daughter and I started our journey with Abrazo.. It was December 22nd when we first made contact, Abrazo was the first on a list of three.. And we never made it to the next two, think this is where He wanted us.. Last week was five years that my daughter and I really started looking at SO many profiles (we had them for a few weeks just couldn't bring ourselves to look at them at first then it seemed too overwhelming). This week five years ago she made her calls and chose her daughter's beautiful family.. Tomorrow is the fifth anniversary of meeting them for the first time.. Little did we know then that they would be back in just a little over a week.. A week from Monday is my angel girl's fifth birthday, amazing how fast time goes by.. These weeks/days are a bit emotional for me, SO many things to thank God for, but first and foremost is the lives of my daughter and granddaughter, thankful for bringing us to Abrazo, for the wonderful family my grand baby has as well as we do., for being in her life and the ability to watch her grow. Thank you God for these gifts and so much more..

Sorry for any type 0s or not making sense, I can't type on a phone very well plus these stupid tears that are clouding my eyes doesn't help..

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hugs, Mari! I'm so thankful you share your heart with us. What a beautiful reminder of the emotions experienced leading up to our little ones birthdays and milestones.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for sharing Mari! It is so great to hear your perspective. I know that G leans on her mom a lot for advice and strength and we have a deep respect for the support she is giving G. We hope we get to meet her when we visit again. Grandmothers play such an important role in this journey and it is heart warming to read about your experience, and heart breaking to think about your struggles as well. Thank you for how you support everyone on the forum and we'll be thinking of you in the days ahead.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Beth

Thank you Beth… I needed the hugs ;)…. Not feeling sorry for myself or anything, it’s just part of the journey and process and those bitter sweet moments that creep up especially during SPECIAL/Meaningful events/milestones in life.

Katie,

You don't know how glad I am that G has her mom to lean on, many, much too many don't have that support system. As mom’s of first moms we still can’t identify exactly with how they feel, the depth of their emotional pain and hurt, but we do have (or should have) an insight, an idea and we can certainly help some by offering an ear, a shoulder, a hug or just to let them cry and even cry with them, if we as their moms are willing to show them not only our strength but our vulnerability (which is also a sign of strength and courage) and be open minded along with an open heart, they will know that the emotions they are having are ok to feel.

It's never just the first parent(s) that go through and experience the loss, their families are also impacted in some form or fashion, and we have to be willing to share our hearts as well, but I will never tell my daughter that I understand what she's going through, simply because I don't.. I know how I feel, but it's never going to be even close to the level of her loss and pain, I will never put my pain above nor think it even equal to hers.

I love your view of a Grandmother's role (Important), I think many if not the majority of Abrazo parents have the same sentiment as you, and I certainly agree, we do have an important role, I like to think of it as a SPECIAL role and certainly one that is not unique to only first-grandparents, it's a role of HONOR held by all grandparents no matter how we became grandparents and I have certainly been accepted and acknowledged by my granddaughter's family in that role of honor as well as acknowledged and accepted by her other grandparents. The love we all share for OUR little gem makes it easy to love and respect each other, we can't take this role lightly, even as grandparents, to me we have to be good examples for our grandchildren, we want to make them proud of us, proud to call us their grandparents. We need to not only make the time to love and hug on them, we need to make the time to play and laugh with them, as well as support and respect the roles of their parents. And for me speaking as a/ the first-grandmother (Nana) of my angel girl, it's also very important that I always put my daughter's relationship with her daughter ahead of mine, certainly way before I would put my relationship first. For me That's the relationship that will be vital to how my angel girl will feel about herself and the decision her first mom made for her (her daughter's) future.

I am not only glad but honored to be a part of and accepted by this community. We certainly all have something in common, different roles maybe but we have all been touched by adoption. I always wish there were more of us first-grandparents here, but I do understand why there is not. If I can offer someone no matter if placing or on adopting side a word of encouragement now and then, cheer them along, celebrate with them, or cry with them, it's a small drop of water in a huge ocean of life and all the small drops eventually make a difference and bring us together.

Thank you, thank you for keeping me in your thought..


wow, this came out huge and I don't know why :o tried to make smaller but couldn't <_<

Edited by 1st x grandma
  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mari,

I never came back and posted on your original post, although, I was very moved when reading it and got teary along with you. You are a gem to this community and I (probably along with many others) just want to give you a big giant hug and "adopt" you as a friend. I love reading and learning of the support you give your daughter and the honesty you have shared with us all about how tough it was/is but how your love for your family overcomes and makes it all worthwhile. I look forward to meeting you one day and giving you that hug in person, you have a special place in this community and in my heart.

Lauranda, Sloane and her parents are very blessed to have you in their lives and to enjoy your love and family. Happy (early) birthday to one beautiful and beloved little angel, Sloane!

Merae

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Merae,

Thank you so much, I so appreciate your lovely words. I too would like nothing better than to meet you and so many more in person.. May be I can bribe Elizabeth in letting Lauranda and I swing by camp on that Saturday just to say hello.. But she's a tough cookie (as she should be) so I won't be holding my breath. ;-)

Hugs right back at ya..

I don't like typing on my phone.. Ugh too many errors darn thing thinks it knows better than I do as to what I'm trying to type.

Edited by 1st x grandma
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mari, our family makes a trip to San Antonio every March to teach Jordan about her birth story and to make attempts at reuniting with her birth family. It's looking like it will be March 14-16 this year and we would love to meet you then if you are available. I'll message you and see if we can't set up a date. :-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Merae,

Sounds great... As of right now our plans are to go visit my daughter in Vegas when Lauranda is out for spring break, but we are returning the 13. Looking forward to meeting up with you and family.. Just let me know.. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mari, our family makes a trip to San Antonio every March to teach Jordan about her birth story and to make attempts at reuniting with her birth family. It's looking like it will be March 14-16 this year and we would love to meet you then if you are available. I'll message you and see if we can't set up a date. :-)

Merae,

I love that y'all do that. Kevin, Alexander and I do the same. When we were placed with Alexander in October 2011, we said we would always try to bring him to his birth place at least once year.

In 2012 we did it in May. In 2013 we did it in December.

That is a great idea to do it the same time every year. I will chat with Kevin about that.

Mari,

It would be wonderful if we could meet you in San Antonio one year, too!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Leah, would love the opportunity to meet you also.. Give me a holler when heading to SA..

Merae, Leah,

So I have to ask, only because I'm just curious.. Coming here once a year, does this mean your babes first mamas are not in the picture (thir life)?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...