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A Birth Grandmother's Role


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Three years ago today, my daughter, her dad and I welcomed a beautiful little (much too little and much too early) angel girl into this world. Soon after, we were joined by her future parents and our new extended family, who also welcomed her with loving arms. It's amazing how much this little angel has impacted our lives, the love we have for our sweet girl is immeasurable. Not long after my daughter and I became a part of another extended family, this forum. The love and support shown by many of you were/is a source of strength. Thank you.

Happy 3rd Birthday beautiful Sloane, may God bless you with many, many more.

For all You have given us, Thank You God.

For all You have permitted, Thank You God.

For all You have prevented, Thank You God.

For all You have prepared us for, Thank You God.

For the precious little girl who has a tight loving grip on our hearts, Thank You God.

For having created us to love You for eternity, Thank You God.

Happy 3rd birthday to a very loved and treasured little girl!

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For all You have given us, Thank You God.

For all You have permitted, Thank You God.

For all You have prevented, Thank You God.

For all You have prepared us for, Thank You God.

For the precious little girl who has a tight loving grip on our hearts, Thank You God.

For having created us to love You for eternity, Thank You God.

I love the above!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Sloane.

Edited by TexasFamily
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  • 3 months later...

For all You have given us, Thank You God.

For all You have permitted, Thank You God.

For all You have prevented, Thank You God.

For all You have prepared us for, Thank You God.

For the precious little girl who has a tight loving grip on our hearts, Thank You God.

For having created us to love You for eternity, Thank You God.

I love the above!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Sloane.

These are just a few lines of my daily/nightly prayers. They speak volumes in so many different ways.

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For all You have given us, Thank You God.

For all You have permitted, Thank You God.

For all You have prevented, Thank You God.

For all You have prepared us for, Thank You God.

For the precious little girl who has a tight loving grip on our hearts, Thank You God.

For having created us to love You for eternity, Thank You God.

I love the above!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Sloane.

These are just a few lines of my daily/nightly prayers. They speak volumes in so many different ways.

I think the prayers are beautiful.

Edited by TexasFamily
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  • 3 weeks later...

“Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third.”

- Marge Piercy

Thought this fit here so perfectly…. Thinking of all blended families today…Especially those birth families whose hearts are heavy with sadness and/or pain. Days do get better when we take one step at a time..

Edited by 1st x grandma
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Thanks for sharing. You have been on my mind - so great to hear from you!

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Thanks for sharing. You have been on my mind - so great to hear from you!

Hey sweetie,

you are all always in my thoughts.. Sorry I have been MIA, something happened to my organizational skills… somewhere along the line in the last couple years they went out the darn window, so sometimes I spend…no more like waste time chasing my own back side (to put it nicely)… :lol:

Sometimes biting off more than I can chew if you will… :wacko:

Trying to make it back slowly but surely..

Hope you’re doing well; your kiddos are getting so big…

Mari

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  • 1 month later...

I sat here this evening reading numerous posts, birth parent blogs. Many broke my heart and brought me to tears, though I am not a birthmom I am the mom of one of whom I consider the most courageous forms of mothers I know. It saddens me to no end to read about the level of pain some have experienced, though placement is not easy and just navigating through the process sometimes seems to take all the strength a birthparent can muster, having added stress and pain seems to be so unfair and unfortunate. So grateful that there are many aparents who are cheering on, and offering their support in these unfortunate situations. I hope and pray each birthparent/mom has a support team of some form, whether family, friends or group. Thinking of each birthparent/mom tonight and keeping all close to my heart and in my prayers.

When I think of birthparents, birthmoms especially (prejudice in that way).. I think of these songs, I picture each birthmom in every lyric.

You’ll Never Walk Alone- many artists sing this; I like it best by Barbra Streisand or Elvis Presley (guess these artists show my age, so for you younguns, Kelly Clarkson also sings as part of a trio)

Journey- by Aiza Seguerra

When I think of supportive family, whether immediate, extended or forum, these are the songs I love and have shared with my daughter. I always pray that I can share my strength and she can lean on me when she has a rough day. Though I nor anything can ever fill that empty place in her heart, I pray that by sharing her load, it can ease it somewhat.

All I’ll Ever Ask – Freddie Jackson and Najee

I’ll be there for You – Aiza Seguerra

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Hugs to you sweet lady! Give you daughter some love form the forum family as well

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Mari - I wanted to comment on every last one of those photos! Your story in particular makes me emotional... just the fact that Sloane is surrounded by so much love is so amazing. The support your daughter has from you guys and the involvement you have in Sloane's life makes me feel so proud of open adoption if that makes sense? You guys are a really amazing family.

Lots of love to you. And thank you for sharing the pictures!!

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The newest pictures are so awesome! I love to hear updates on your daughter and grandaughter. You all made such an impact on us during our orientation in June 2009.

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Love seeing the new pictures! What beautiful family photos! Priceless!

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Thank you for all the nice comments.. My angel girl is a beauty, if I do say so myself. :D It’s hard to imagine this little active 3 year old only weighed a mere 2.5 lbs @ birth, though I don’t really need to go back and see those pictures to remember, I have it imprinted in my mind from the second she was born. It is an amazing God given grace to see her grow, be active and healthy from those rough beginnings.

I’m at times concerned with posting pictures of our visits, because I know there are several firtmoms/families that do not have this opportunity with their child/loved one. And there are aparents who want and wish for this, but their child's first family may not be at that point. Maybe these pictures of our blended family will help other aparents who may be struggling with accepting a true open adoption know that these interactions with their child’s first families are not a bad thing. Or for those first moms/families that may not be sure of spending time with their child and his/her parents, may they be given a ray of hope that it is very rewarding. The memories, bond and interactions created are forever imprinted footsteps in not only your memory and heart, but in your child’s. We are truly blessed and grateful to be where/and whom we are, to have the extended family we have is a great gift from God whose value, acceptance of us and generosity with their child is immeasurable.

Wishing you all a very safe and happy 4th

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I love seeing the photos of your big, beautiful family. I think you offer a perspective that is so valuable!

Our second son's birthmom is traveling to our home on Monday to stay for a few days and I hope I will see the same joy in her eyes that I see in your daughter's eyes with Sloane.

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I love seeing the photos of your big, beautiful family. I think you offer a perspective that is so valuable!

Our second son's birthmom is traveling to our home on Monday to stay for a few days and I hope I will see the same joy in her eyes that I see in your daughter's eyes with Sloane.

That’s wonderful… I am sure she will have the joy in her eyes, which I translate to joy of a mother’s heart shinning through her eyes, I would think it be impossible not to see in any first-mom. I’ll be thinking of you guys next week sending positive prayers and thoughts your way. Excited to hear how it goes for all.

Love to all

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I love seeing the photos of your big, beautiful family. I think you offer a perspective that is so valuable!

Our second son's birthmom is traveling to our home on Monday to stay for a few days and I hope I will see the same joy in her eyes that I see in your daughter's eyes with Sloane.

That’s wonderful… I am sure she will have the joy in her eyes, which I translate to joy of a mother’s heart shinning through her eyes, I would think it be impossible not to see in any first-mom. I’ll be thinking of you guys next week sending positive prayers and thoughts your way. Excited to hear how it goes for all.

Love to all

Thank you! I truly hope it will be a special time for her. We had a trip planned to Texas for Andrew's first birthday (on the 21st) and are looking forward to that. His older sisters are especially excited. Monica was given a buddy pass for a plane ticket so she is planning to come up this Monday - Friday. It will be a busy but good two weeks! We appreciate your prayers and thoughts! This year has been so tough on her so I am hopeful she will enjoy the time getting to know him better and feel more connected. Also, she'll be able to see him in his home environment and then celebrate that first special birthday in their home when we travel down the following week. We've stayed in close touch through the year but nothing can beat a real face to face visit!

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Thank you for all the nice comments.. My angel girl is a beauty, if I do say so myself. :D It’s hard to imagine this little active 3 year old only weighed a mere 2.5 lbs @ birth, though I don’t really need to go back and see those pictures to remember, I have it imprinted in my mind from the second she was born. It is an amazing God given grace to see her grow, be active and healthy from those rough beginnings.

I’m at times concerned with posting pictures of our visits, because I know there are several firtmoms/families that do not have this opportunity with their child/loved one. And there are aparents who want and wish for this, but their child's first family may not be at that point. Maybe these pictures of our blended family will help other aparents who may be struggling with accepting a true open adoption know that these interactions with their child’s first families are not a bad thing. Or for those first moms/families that may not be sure of spending time with their child and his/her parents, may they be given a ray of hope that it is very rewarding. The memories, bond and interactions created are forever imprinted footsteps in not only your memory and heart, but in your child’s. We are truly blessed and grateful to be where/and whom we are, to have the extended family we have is a great gift from God whose value, acceptance of us and generosity with their child is immeasurable.

Wishing you all a very safe and happy 4th

Thank you so much for your wise insight. Happy 4th!

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Hannah,

Does sound like some busy weeks, but how rewarding this investment of time will definitely be for all, especially your little ones. It will also do their first moms hearts some good, I truly believe this. Seeing her precious treasure first hand in their home environment, how happy and loved he is will no doubt bring her comfort. Safe travels to her, also wishing a wonderful time with Andrew’s family, how exciting for his big sisters. Safe travels as well to you and family when you come to Texas.. Very hot here, come prepared..

Beth,

Thank you

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Thank you for those beautiful pictures! John and I looked at them together last night and we did indeed say, "wouldn't it be wonderful if we could have this kind of relationship with the first family?" We can only hope and pray.... I have so much appreciated the warmth and the generous spirit that comes through in all your posts and how you uplift everyone in the community. Thank you!

(On a whole other note, as we started looking at the picture, John thought that you were the b-mother to Sloan since you look so young.)

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Thank you for those beautiful pictures! John and I looked at them together last night and we did indeed say, "wouldn't it be wonderful if we could have this kind of relationship with the first family?" We can only hope and pray.... I have so much appreciated the warmth and the generous spirit that comes through in all your posts and how you uplift everyone in the community. Thank you! (On a whole other note, as we started looking at the picture, John thought that you were the b-mother to Sloan since you look so young.)

Airi, what a beautiful name..

I am sure or I hope at least that there are many families out there with a wonderful relationship, I always pray for this. Any type of relationship takes work, nurturing, respect, friendship and love, the rewards are immeasurable and in these situations the gift to one’s child/children and each other is irreplaceable. It really breaks my heart to read about those first-moms/families that do not have this, as well as those families whose child doesn’t know their first family.

And on the side note.. Tell John thank you for the compliment.. :rolleyes:

Though I am no spring chicken, but as a grandmother, I think I am on the young (errr) side, I am sure due to being in my early 30s when I had my daughter__ wait does 33 almost 34 count as early 30s still, um, yeah I think so, though probably closer to mid-30s, I like the first one better.. :D As well as being made a grandmother by my teenage daughter.. Though even at my age and much less at her age would I have had the guts or courage as she did, my daughter is a much stronger person them I.

I will also keep you both in my prayers for your perfect match and many blessings,

Respectfully,

Mari

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