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Adoptive Children and Biological Children


smithgonefishin

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Hi, we are beginning the adoption process and I have been unable to find any suggested books on raising a biological and adopted child. Would you suggest any book to explain the adoption to a 6 year old? I guess we are looking for both adult adn children books. Thank you so much for the posts on the previous pages, I have a list of books to begin reading. Thank you for your help, Brandy

I'm sorry I thought I posted this under "suggested reading" somehow it has it's own topic. Does anyone know how to move it? I apologize for taking up the space area.

Edited by smithgonefishin
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Attachment in Adoption is a good book. Also anything by Dan Hughes.

Welcome! Are you adopting through Abrazo?

Heather :)

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Hi Brandy,

Welcome to the forum and the Abrazo Community. My Husband and I had our son biologically and then 5 years later adopted our daughter through Abrazo. I really don't know very many books about adoptive and biological children. We just read the usual books about adoption. Our son is very easy going and we really treated our daughters adoption as just another way to create a family. He was very involved with taking placement of Leyna and we kept him as informed as a five year old should be about our progress throughout the experience. He was the first one to meet Leyna (she was a B.O.G.) and actually carried her to my husband and I after we had finished signing all of our placement papers. Both of our kids are very proud of this moment and love to hear about the day they met each other. Our children our now 9 and 3 and they get along famously. We talk about Leyna's adoption all the time and also about how Gabe was born and became a part of our family too. We make each of their stories special and they enjoy listening to each of them. I don't know if this helped. Please feel free to PM me or ask any other questions here. I'd be happy to help with what we've learned.

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Hi Brandy, I'm actually on the of the other side of your situation. I placed with a family that had biological twin sons, Riley and Bailey. The boys were five when Colby came home with them. Their parents would tell them that Colby was growing in my belly because Mama's belly was broken. They also enrolled the boys in a class that had infant care principals for kids. Like they took a toilet paper roll and had a bunch of things to try and stick in it. They were told if anything fit in the toilet paper roll then it was too small for baby. They learned what things they could do to help out with Colby, like hold a bottle or give him his pacifier. They were so excited when Colby came, and although they weren't at the hospital and didn't come until after we signed papers, I gave them a call to tell them their little brother was born. I'm not sure the level of openness you're seeking in your adoption, but the boys also came on several visits with their parents to see me. They'd ask all kinds of questions about how Colby was doing, and rub my belly, and seemed completely satisfied that their brother was growing somewhere else. Close to Colby's birth they actually announced to everyone at daycare that they were adopting a baby brother. I have an open relationship with Colby and his family and to this day Riley, Bailey and Colby all know that Colby was adopted because he grew in Mama Kristal's tummy since Mama's tummy was broken. Their parents also had the judge incorporate the boys in the adoption finalization. Riley and Bailey swore in to take care of and love Colby just like Mom and Dad. Riley and Bailey of course don't cal me Mama Kristal, but we still see each other and talk. The way we all look at it is there is no harm in there being more people who love the kids!

I hope you can find the information you're looking for!!

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Oh and in the Parenting section, under Raising Kids Today there is a topic about this called For Blended Families, with Children both Adopted and Homegrown it doesn't have much in it (Yet!), but its there!

Edited by kristal
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Hi, we are beginning the adoption process and I have been unable to find any suggested books on raising a biological and adopted child. Would you suggest any book to explain the adoption to a 6 year old? I guess we are looking for both adult adn children books. Thank you so much for the posts on the previous pages, I have a list of books to begin reading. Thank you for your help, Brandy

I'm sorry I thought I posted this under "suggested reading" somehow it has it's own topic. Does anyone know how to move it? I apologize for taking up the space area.

I'm sorry I thought you were adopting a six year old. I will read better next time.

Heather :)

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  • 5 weeks later...

Hi, thank you so much for writing to us! We would love to have our daughter be a part and be able to meet our birthmom/parents. Your story is very inspiring! We are so exciting for all of this and want our daughter to be a part of every step and yet are unsure how much to tell her and how soon,etc. Thank you! I'm going to call and see if our local hospital has that class. Have a great day

Hi Brandy, I'm actually on the of the other side of your situation. I placed with a family that had biological twin sons, Riley and Bailey. The boys were five when Colby came home with them. Their parents would tell them that Colby was growing in my belly because Mama's belly was broken. They also enrolled the boys in a class that had infant care principals for kids. Like they took a toilet paper roll and had a bunch of things to try and stick in it. They were told if anything fit in the toilet paper roll then it was too small for baby. They learned what things they could do to help out with Colby, like hold a bottle or give him his pacifier. They were so excited when Colby came, and although they weren't at the hospital and didn't come until after we signed papers, I gave them a call to tell them their little brother was born. I'm not sure the level of openness you're seeking in your adoption, but the boys also came on several visits with their parents to see me. They'd ask all kinds of questions about how Colby was doing, and rub my belly, and seemed completely satisfied that their brother was growing somewhere else. Close to Colby's birth they actually announced to everyone at daycare that they were adopting a baby brother. I have an open relationship with Colby and his family and to this day Riley, Bailey and Colby all know that Colby was adopted because he grew in Mama Kristal's tummy since Mama's tummy was broken. Their parents also had the judge incorporate the boys in the adoption finalization. Riley and Bailey swore in to take care of and love Colby just like Mom and Dad. Riley and Bailey of course don't cal me Mama Kristal, but we still see each other and talk. The way we all look at it is there is no harm in there being more people who love the kids!

I hope you can find the information you're looking for!!

Thank you so much for writing to me, I guess we are nervous about everything right now:) Thank you for reminding me that our daughter will love the baby so much and one of the reason we want to adopt so much. Could you tell me what BOG stands for? I will try and look it up maybe in the glossary. I would love to stay in touch as we get futher into the program. Thank you for help! Brandy

Hi Brandy,

Welcome to the forum and the Abrazo Community. My Husband and I had our son biologically and then 5 years later adopted our daughter through Abrazo. I really don't know very many books about adoptive and biological children. We just read the usual books about adoption. Our son is very easy going and we really treated our daughters adoption as just another way to create a family. He was very involved with taking placement of Leyna and we kept him as informed as a five year old should be about our progress throughout the experience. He was the first one to meet Leyna (she was a B.O.G.) and actually carried her to my husband and I after we had finished signing all of our placement papers. Both of our kids are very proud of this moment and love to hear about the day they met each other. Our children our now 9 and 3 and they get along famously. We talk about Leyna's adoption all the time and also about how Gabe was born and became a part of our family too. We make each of their stories special and they enjoy listening to each of them. I don't know if this helped. Please feel free to PM me or ask any other questions here. I'd be happy to help with what we've learned.

We are hoping to- we are still in the process of completing our home study in our state and finshing our application. Thank you for your suggestion!!! It's great to get information on books others enjoyed. Have a great day!

Attachment in Adoption is a good book. Also anything by Dan Hughes.

Welcome! Are you adopting through Abrazo?

Heather :)

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Abrazo to English translation....

BOG = Baby on ground

still fluzzy...

It means the baby has already been born. This usually involves getting a phone call from a gal in the hospital who has just given birth and wants to make an adoption plan. So if an adopting family gets a phone call about a BOG it means there was no advance warning.

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Hi Brandy! I can't believe I'm just now seeing this, but I'm glad I did. PLEASE pm me with any questions you have! I gave birth to our oldest daughter, who is now 14 and then we were blessed beyond blessed to have Emma Claire and her sweet birthparents join our family in Nov of 2006. Our girls are 12 years apart, but I would not have it any other way! This is what the Lord had in store for us all along!!

Please let me know if you have ANY questions! I can't think if any books, but I can tell you from our experience what worked and helped!

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Abrazo to English translation....

BOG = Baby on ground

still fluzzy...

It means the baby has already been born. This usually involves getting a phone call from a gal in the hospital who has just given birth and wants to make an adoption plan. So if an adopting family gets a phone call about a BOG it means there was no advance warning.

AH BOG---- That's what that means, that's an adorable name :)

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And we "in the know" pronounce B.O.G. like this: beee-ohhh-geeee!

(Because otherwise it's just a marshy wetland and that's nothing to get so excited over!) ;)

But this is vernacular that's unique to Abrazo, so don't expect your hometown social worker to get it, if you try to use the term with her/him.

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